Why Won't I Habituate?

I'm so sick of this. I'm so sick of thinking about this. I'm so sick of talking about it. I'm so sick of hearing that it'll get better, which I bet it wont....I'm so sick of being so negative and scared. Why haven't I habituated when everyone else seems to be able to do it? I try to not think about the tinnitus but how the hell can you not think about it when it's right there screaming at you all the time. How can you possibly ignore that? I do not understand. I hate pretending to be positive and happy when I'm not.

 

Feeling the same got a spike because I think of some sushis I ate ( MSG in it probably ). I can only think positively when the darn t is low.

 

No magic habituation rate... Everyone is different. I got T in May, months before you, and still am working on habituation. Check the board and you will see others still trying whose onset was way before yours.

Again: you seem very anxious and very over focused on your tinnitus, which is holding you back. You need different therapists and different meds from what u r using, it seems. Last time I will say this, promise.

 

Heya,
Yer you are right. I am extremely anxious. Definitely 100% focused on my tinnitus. Even when I go shopping and the background noise there drowns in out, I still remain anxious and stressed even though I hear it less, because I'm angry at the prospect of having to hear it again when I get home. My partner says that this in itself demonstrates that it in the anxiety of having the tinnitus which is the problem, not the actual noise of the tinnitus. I guess he is right, but even knowing that my thinking it faulty, I still get caught up in the cycle of anxiety, snowballing out of control as the day progresses. I am terrified that I won't in fact habituate, and so I am miserable every single day. Again, my partner says that I should at least pretend to be happy, or pretend that the tinnitus will go away, and says I may as well be happy while I habituate rather than be miserable waiting to habituate. I hear so much good advice, yet I never follow it. Why? I'm unsure. A lot of people have told me it's because I want to be miserable. I don't know. I don't think anyone wants to be miserable...anyway....gahhh, its 41 deg Celsius so I'm off to the beach!

 

Habituation should be the brain self-preservetion mechanism to keep going unfortunately i guess for people who disliked noises at first(like me), this won't be coming before a long time....

 

Best advice I have from my own experience is do what it takes to get the sleep you need - talk to your doctor if you need help with that. That's the only thing that's helped me in regards to having the most positive attitude possible and with slightly lowering the volume of my T (or my perception of the loudness) overtime, and I've tried a number of supplements, gone to the chiropractor, and even successfully treated my temporomandibular joint disorder (which can cause tinnitus, but in make case it turns out the two are unrelated). Cutting out alcohol and salty foods also had no effect on me - but we're all different - so keep doing your research and trying different things to see what worsens and helps your T, and become your own detective - but I would start by making sure you get your sleep if you're not already.

Another thing. For me, accepting the fact that my T has affected my life means that since having T, the good things that have happened may not have happened if I hadn't gotten T in the first place. For instance, because of T, I decided to take up a part time job to afford additional treatments for my T (I'm being my own detective too). So my new part-time job, with my new friends, never would've been without my T. T has also made me more sentimental than ever. With T as a constant reminder of my mortality, it's made me think of the family, friends and moments that are here today, gone tomorrow, just like our silence being replaced with T. Just keeping that in mind has me more appreciative of all the good I still have around me. I know this T thing in unbelievable, and really sucks, but there is good that comes with the bad!

 

Neenie, it can take years to habituate to tinnitus, little by little, you are still very new to tinnitus.
Read up on other people's posts, it is over a year in most cases until you start to feel better. I know where you are coming from, i myself have had tinnitus increase alot from loud noise exposure for over 2 months now. Back to feeling depressed, anxious etc, but like i say it can take awhile to get used to this new level of tinnitus, 6 plus months in most cases, give it time.

I am more worried that it didn't take much noise at all to increase mine (car bonnet/hood slamming shut) so i worry more about ear protection now.

 

Actually there is a term for this in the T world its called "Fake it until you make it".

P.S. Do you live in Australia???

 

It is most definitely not easy to get used to. I have it for about a month now. On days when it can be lower in volume I feel good and can get through the day ok. On days when it feels louder all I think about is how to turn it down lol. I noticed however that when I am completely focused on something, completely in the zone, I forget I have it and don't seem to care for it as much. Not easy task.

 

Neenie I've read your posts recently and not yet posted but I have felt for you and share your pain I wish I could make it better for you and all I can say is you will find your way through its different for us all what levels we can adjust too and cope with - you will I promise get better and learn to adjust but you must get some help - I wish I could say exactly what but no one can hun it's just what works for you and gets you through xx I personally needed sleep I knew once I could sleep again without fear I would turn the corner took 6 months but I did and fingers crossed I'm never going back there !

I understand your feelings we all do xx ask for help try lots of ideas and you will find a way through xxx Cher

 

Thanks guys. Yer, I live in Perth Australia. Its so hot at the moment! Boo. I'm just terrified I won't habituate. Or also terrified that even if I do habituate, the noise will still be there. I want my life back, without the noise. I wish I had been more thankful before the tinnitus. I spend my day looking on the internet for solutions and find none. Everyone says to stop looking, a cure doesn't exist. A cure would be perfect, but getting treatment would also be a great start. Like, if you have cancer, yes that sux, but there is a treatment and the possibility of recovery is real. From what I've read there's nothing for tinnitus. Does anyone know how I can do TRT on my own? Do I basically just play relaxing music at a level that masks the tinnitus a little bit but not completely?

 

Hi Neenie, I have had T for years, only when very quiet though. But recently it has become unbearable even in louder environments hence why I have joined this forum.
I haven't tried any habituation techniques yet but I will try soon. Like everyone here I suppose I have been scouring the Internet for a cure or for at least some relief lol.
On my voyage I noticed this name, Jastreboff. Im sure people here would have heard about him, have you read his articles?
Anyway, like all here I share your pain, so just keep on doing everything you can to cope.
Like Luke said make sure you get sleep. That has helped me to cope with it. Not cure it but help me endure it.
BTW Im in Brisbane the weather here is great.

 

Ah Brisbane! I love it there. I'm from Perth, it's 41 deg C today. Absolutely boiling. We bought an aircon when we first moved in that was the most quiet one we could find. Regretting that decision now, need something nice and loud to drown it out! Yer I've read about Jastreboff. Is he basically saying to listen to music at a volume level that masks the tinnitus partially but completely masks it so you can habituate? If so. It doesnt work. I've tried that for 4 months! Grrr

 

Yeah I have the aircon on every night, even in winter just to help with T but recently it has not been enough had to get pills from the doctor to help sleep. I can hear T every waking moment, yesterday I was at a work function and I could hear it over a crowd talking at 90db!
So you are definitely not alone.

 

That's crap dude. I feel your pain. Every bit of it. I can also hear it every waking moment. What sleep meds are you on? I would take the Z-drugs (like Stilnox) not the benzodiazapienes (like temazepam) because they have a shorter half life. And are way more effective. Don't worry about "getting hooked". Who cares if you're hooked or not. As long as you sleep I say, it does not matter. Do you get angry at people that just tell you to accept it and move on? I do. I see their point but doing that is virtually impossible

 

Yes I have Stilnox and it works good however today I went to the doctor and asked him to give me something to help with my anxiety. He prescribed Endep 10. I was going to ask on this forum if anyone has tried this drug and if it adversely effects T.
I did an internet search and there are conflicting views on it.
I do NOT want to make it worse.
BTW Im new to this forum and not too good at navigating it , could you tell me how to start a new thread so I could ask the question?

 

Whoa! I take Stilnox 20mg and Endep 200mg. I took 10mg for years and it definitely is fine for you and it will not make it worse. 200mg on the other hand might. I tried going off it for a week but no change so i went back on it. Endep is used to treat tinnitus but also it is listed to be ototoxic. Dont worry about it. Every drug is listed as ototoxic but I think the pharmaceutical companies just list it to cover the arses. But on 10mg you will have absolutely no problems.

 

I am exactly like you last year, and my fiancee(5 years with me) left me because of my depression and hopeless. My boss didn't understand the situation and blamed me a lot for my performance during that time.

Every T sufferer is a victim, but the only lucky thing is that you can share your feelings with somebody else who also suffer from that. We do understand you!

I am in Beijing, and nobody cares about T here in China. I have to fly to the States and Europe to get some treatment. But life is not over, I keep in touch with Dr. Michael Seidman in Henry ford hospital at Michigan. Prof. Dirk de Ridder in New Zealand, Prof. Daniel Jeanmonod about the HIFU therapy in Switzerland.

You should firstly buy a masker asap to solve the short term problem, and read the book of TRT. Then keep in touch with the leading doctors and scientists for the long term hope. That is the only way we can do about this.

I have a fantastic life before T, no matter career or love. But all the things ruined after the accident(I got T from a trauma directly to the right ear). I also have suicidal thoughs even until now. But we should not give up to this noise! What do you think? Hope this can support you somehow

 

And following Prof. Dirk De Ridder's suggestion, I took Deanxit everyday 1 tablet in the morning, it really works very well, I mean, the sound is lower after I took that medicine for about 1 week. Although I am not a doctor, but I have read more than 1000 papers about T, so maybe you can mention this Deanxit(anti-depression medicine) to your doctor, and you can try that for a while. Hope it also works for you. Don't lose hope before you think you have really tried every method that is available now. I even contact with the scientist in Harvard to get some information about the inner ear hair cell regeneration, it is more promising than I expected, also it may need 10 years, but we are young.

 

Heya.
I'm sorry to hear that you've lost so much because of tinnitus (if i continue to act the way I do, I too will lose everything....i'm already losing everything right now as I type). My life before tinnitus was ok, I thought things were adequate. It's only now that I look back and kick myself for not enjoying life more when I had the chance! Is there a book on TRT? I've read lots about it already as has everyone else on this site. Stay in touch and thanks for the advice

 

Yeah it is disappointing sometimes what people say about T, just get on with it. Sometime I wish they could have it for a day just so they could feel what its like.
However I would not wish it on even my enemy.

 

Try everything, for example, hyperbaric oxygen therapy(HBO), it helps me a little during the beginning, and I do konw 2 patients who were almost healed by this during the treatment together with them.

All in all, keep your hope, take action and keep talking with others about all your feelings, no matter good or bad

 

Halo Aaron good to hear from you.What do you think about this HIFU.There is also a loud MR scan Did you use earplugs when you was in it.

 

Hi Jes,

I haven't done the HIFU yet, because of the 3T MRI, I decide to wait for a while, I keep in touch with Prof. Jeanmonod, it will start 2014, and now I booked the treatment in June 2014, want to hear some good news from Prof. Jeanmonod firstly and also about the MR noise issue.

 

Hello,
If I may ask, does anyone know the standard approximate cost of the HIFU procedure?
I live in the United States. I assume that its is priced in Swiss Francs?

Thanks
Greatly appreciate your help.

-Alex

 

Nina, Yes there is a book on TRT, look on Amazon. The book is very good but I'd start with looking at the TRT tinnitus website. www.tinnitus.org Click on the left on the directive counselling and listen to it all. It explains how we get tinnitus (80% stress induced) and more importantly, why we continue to be bothered by it. Hope it helps.

 

Habituation is a different experience for different folks. For me it's ongoing and probably always will be. There will be no end point or point in time where I say I don't care that I have tinnitus or I no longer hear it unless I intentionally listen for it. That doesn't mean I think about it all the time and it bothers me. Occasionally it bothers me, I would rather not have it and sometimes it really bugs me. Yet I feel that I am basically habituated and the reason I feel this way is because it doesn't have me in its grip. I think that the journey for each of us is different so it's unrealistic to expect that habituation will be the same experience or we get there in the same time frame.

 

For me it's now been over 5 months. No improvement what so ever. If anything, it's worse because I'm so conscious of noise now. Before simple things wouldn't have bothered me but now that I'm aware I hear everything. All the background noises that most people dont notice, I hear loud, and clear and more disturbingly all the time. The sound of a laptop running. I listen out for it and I hear it. It's like I've learnt to listen and now can't unlearn it. I am probably the most anxious person you're ever going to meet and the thought that this is how it's going to be from now on is extremely distressing, and many times throughout the day I think of ending it all. I'm not going to, because I'm too scared but I hate just living thinking, oh, I wont worry about that because I won't be alive then. Like exams....everyone is stressing, I'm not because I think I'm gonna be dead long before the exams even happen. It's like I want to live so badly but also want to die so badly. I dont know

 

I don´t know what to tell you to help you. I think everyone here has already cheered you up as much as possible over the last three months and I think everything has already been told.

So now it is your turn. There are two options: Be sad about tinnitus or live a a happy life without caring much about the damn noise in your head. And that decision is yours. No matter how many posts you write here saying that you are feeling bad. In fact, I personally believe that you should stay away from this forum and try to move on. Believe me, there are more things in life than tinnitus.

http://www.reddit.com/r/tinnitus/comments/1wwxui/to_all_new_ringers/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/i-feel-good.3372/#post-31286

 

Yer, you're right, I know. I guess I'm just a slow learner and feel insecure about trying to get on with my life. Deep down I think maybe if I keep telling people how crap I'm feeling then they wont expect much from me. I've gotten so used to being "sick" that I now completely play the role of a sick person. Thanks everyone for their responses. I did listen to you all, it's just that I'm so doubtful that things will get better that I get scared to believe you because I worry that they might not, and things will stay as terrible as they are now. If I am completely honest, there are many things in my life that are good, but I just take them for granted. I'm scared to be happy because then I think that everyone will think that I'm ok when I'm not. Anyway, thanks for the responses!