Why Won't I Habituate?

Everyone at his or hers own pace. It will happen fully or to a great extent. Time does its work.

 

You are not alone, i'm struggling too, 13 weeks in and i'm still crying and planning my suicide ... and i now know i have H to boot, and that is a double whammy ... H is mild but i know it's there, as i cringe at high pitched sounds, and getting ice out of the freezer makes me shudder ...

 

Everyone is different. Everyone takes different speed.

Deep down I think maybe if I keep telling people how crap I'm feeling then they wont expect much from me. I've gotten so used to being "sick" that I now completely play the role of a sick person

You should immediately stop teling people how bad you feel and stop talking about tinnitus. That only reinforces your negative feelings towards tinnitus. The more you talk about it, the more the people who know you will ask you about it.

it's just that I'm so doubtful that things will get better that I get scared to believe you because I worry that they might not, and things will stay as terrible as they are now.

Why will they?Why do you punish yourself like that? Why are you so doubtful about it? Do you think that all the success stories on the internet and all the lovely people on TT are telling you BS? Read all those stories: Why do you worry that you might not get better?

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/feb/09/tinnitus-sufferers-positive-voices

http://www.actiononhearingloss.org.uk/community/forums/tinnitus.aspx?g=posts&t=7678

http://www.reddit.com/r/tinnitus/comments/1wwxui/to_all_new_ringers/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/forums/success-stories.47/

http://innerpieces.co.uk/blog/is-there-life-after-tinnitus/

http://www.reddit.com/r/tinnitus/comments/1a6lbw/a_message_of_hope/

http://eternalbeep.wordpress.com/

It will get better if you allow it to get better. Habituation is a natural process that happens atomtically unless there is something blocking it.

I´ve met 4 people around me who have T and they do not give a damn about it.

If I am completely honest, there are many things in my life that are good, but I just take them for granted. I'm scared to be happy because then I think that everyone will think that I'm ok when I'm not.

Why are you doing this to you? Why are you scared of being happy?

Why do you want people to know that you are not ok? It was the contrary in my case. I was tired of lettng people knowhow bad I felt because of Tinnitus. People

My Tinnitus hasn´t decreased since started but I have changed . I just got tired of suffering.

You only live once, I´d rather not having T but I happen to have it. So I refuse to stay seated waiting for it to get better. I much prefer to get better myself and move on.

 

One of the best lessons I have learned from these support forums is that 'if tinnitus is not going to change, you need to change'. Tinnitus is an immovable object. To gamble our recovery solely on it to move (reduce its volume or disappear) to accommodate our wish is not very likely or realistic. We can't control T most of the time. Some of us are lucky that by adjusting their life style, changing the diet, taking a supplement or trying an alternative treatment, and their T will be gone or reduce in volume. But most are not that lucky and don't find the volume of ringing reduced. So the only thing we can do to see some improvement in the quality of life is to CHANE ourselves in some way, particularly the mental approach.

That is the area I made the most changes to help me cope with my ultra high pitch T and the piercingly hurtful H. These two beasts force me to change my approach, from a generally negative, pessimistic, nervous, non-accommodating and impatient approach, to a more positive, optimistic, more calm, accepting and more patient approach.

One war veteran member on a support board once wrote 'I am a solider and I fight for a living. But when it comes to tinnitus, I have learned to accommodate it instead of fighting it'. What a wisdom from a tough war veteran. If a tough soldier can change his combating way to an accommodating way for T, why shouldn't I? He inspired me back then that I needed to change my way of dealing with T, from a negative, combating, non-accommodating and impatient way to a more realistic, positive, accepting and patient approach. This is a new life's skill I have learned through my T & H journey and it has helped my coping with T as well as other areas of my life.

So to the newer sufferers of T, you are facing, at least to you, a formidable mountain, the T mountain, one you have never climbed before. Are you going to climb this mountain without any need to change? Like to acquire new skills in mountain climbing which you so much lack of?Like learning about the hazards of the mountains and be prepared or equipped to deal with the climb? Of course not. Likewise, seriously look at our former ways to see if what changes are needed to help us cope with T, including our approaches towards life and dealing with challenges. I often browsed the Internet to learn how others learned to cope with their sudden crisis or chronic illnesses in life and learned the skills they use to overcome. I told myself that all I needed to do is to emulate them. That is how I found Zoe (who made the first tinnitus film), Darlene Cohen (Finding Joy amid the Pain), Melody Gardott (with T, H & hit by a car), even Dr. Nagler etc. etc. There are many more people who are like them. I borrow strength and wisdom from them and I try to apply what I learned from them.

Again if T doesn't change, we need to change to climb the T mountain and overcome, from non-accommodating to more accommodating, from combating to flowing, from impatient to patient, from nerve wrecking to more calm and composed, from negative to less negative (or better still more positive), from pessimistic to optimistic. You won't be changing overnight. This is a change to our general approach to life. It takes time. But time is on our side. If you commit to make the change, the brain will catch up and follow in line. So give it time.

 

I totally agree with you billie! There is a lot of famous people who have T and they keep on living their lives.

Letterman has made his show for over 20 years and has T. Tinnitus does not stop him being funny.

Will I am has T, he is a musician and laughs at his T. And he is a musician.

And Like them many others...

Music star Will.i.am speaks about his Tinnitus...

 

Believe me from somebody who has dealt with suicide in the family it is not the answer to anything. As far as tinnitus goes let me ask you why would you not spend a few $1000 on a treatment such as TRT or CBT which have been proven to lower distress and assist habituation. I struggled for a long time because I had other symptoms and there were many times when I thought I would never get through this. But we are stronger than we think and in time we overcome our demons so you should never give up. Emotions and negative thoughts/cognitive distortions are usually what prevents us from overcoming T and H. My experience with hyperacusis was that over a period of time I became less sensitive to those sounds that caused me distress and now I consider myself healed. The same will happen to you in time. As time passes you will also become less distressed about your tinnitus. Don't ever think suicide is the answer to anything and if you are having those thoughts maybe you should talk to a family member, friend or psychologist.

 

Thank you so much Magpie, i know you are right, and i hope i will habituate in time ... most days are dark at the moment, and all i can think about is my great life before this T, now it just doesn't seem like life is worth living, i can't laugh, i can't smile, i make excuses to my closest friends that i'm ok but can't talk right now ...i think you are correct, i need to seek professional help right now ... i appreciate you response, and everyone else on here that takes the time out to try and reassure me ... x

 

Carol I do believe we all will see better days ahead and, with time, we will habituate and feel more like ourselves-even be happy. I read billy88's postings and I see that happening in the future. It's good that you are going to seek professional help. A good doctor is a great asset and can be comforting when they understand and help us. For now we need to seek help and take good care of ourselves.

 

Thank you Patty x

 

Carol, you are still very new to your T experience. So your struggle with distorted thinking (such as suicidal ideation or T as a total catastrophe) is quite normal for newer sufferers. It was still all 'hell' for me in my 3rd month back then. So don't be discouraged. Like everybody says above, give it time. The body needs time to accept the new T sensation. But seek medical and counselling help if you can't seem to cope. Perhaps some meds will help you calm down or cheer up. Remember to read all the success stories. They will give you hope and comfort. Most of us who have recovered can tell you it will take some time to heal even thought we learned all the great advise from board members. The body and your brain just need the time to settle down. The brain needs time to get off from the fight or fright mode for you to be able to handle your emotions better. If you can, try to get outdoor or even just do morning walk or jog around the house. Anything is better than stuck at home worrying about T and monitoring it all the time. It takes time. Be patient and be positive. Hang in there. All the best and God bless.

 

What a lovely post Billie48, you talk so much sense, and as i was reading this post i felt a little more calmer, more hopeful about my life, but my heart is still pounding, and my eyes still full of tears ... i just can't seem to find a place of acceptance at the moment, i know this train of thought will hinder my habituation, but right now i don't care ... i want the old me back, i'm still mourning the loss of me ... i hope like you say i''ll come to terms with the new damaged me, but as for now, i won't be her!!! Thank you for your kind advice, and your precious time, Bless you for caring ... x

 

While i m also new to T., I can't help but think of a friend of mine,who developed MS,and how he started to lose his vision,and needed a wheelchair eventually cause of muscle weakness. but he still lived his full life,the best he could! Still went to movies,on vacations,had a job,,even got married,all while he was suffering from MS. If he could overcome such a debilitating disease, just with his will and mind,I surely can do the same with this condition.

The human body is an incredible machine. If this doesn't go away,I fully believe,with time,I will achieve habitulation, much like someone learns to live with a pain that doesn't go away,or a body part that doesn't work right. the brain and spirit is capable of adapting to anything.

 

If you are sick of talking about tinnitus - STOP. The more you focus on your tinnitus, the more importance you give it and your brain will follow. Habituation takes time and repitiation with the right combination of medication, psychological and sound therapies. If you are constantly trying to measure habituation then, by definition, you are not habituating.

 

Just dont stress out. That makes it 10x worse. We all know, it is a day to day struggle. There is an electronic device being developed by Susan Shore that has already been proven to work that will be out soon. There are also multiple companies moving quickly towards a drug/stem cell based cure. Yeah it's going to be tough to wait until these things hit the market. Just be strong and take each day by day. Rule number 1 with T is dont stress. Go try cbd oil.

 

I cant wait for Susan Shore Device my Tinnitus is a blasting 8/10.