Why.

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by SilverSpiral, Aug 31, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. SilverSpiral
      Worried

      SilverSpiral Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise
      I have always been very interested in music. I have made music and have even released some tracks on a record. However I have not been to many live music events because I have a hard time socializing etc. I had never been to an event without earplugs. I havent been able to make music lately, and have been feeling very lonely. I started trying to go to events locally in order to feel better and get inspired. I went to 3 events at a bar, and they were surprisingly quiet. I did not even need earplugs at all, the music was barely talking level. Then the next time I went, but didn't remember my earplugs. I thought it would be fine, everybody else does it? and it had been quiet before. Not this time. It started out quiet but at some point they cranked it, but beyond that, when I was watching them perform, a rediculously loud sound got played (it was live improvisation). I felt it against my whole body and especially face, it wasnt a bassy sound, it was actually quite high pitched, so it is not normal to feel sounds of that pitch.

      When I woke up in the morning I was nearly completely deaf in the ear that was closest to the speaker, and had a loud ringing in that ear, within 48 hours my hearing seemed to return to normal, but the ringing stayed. Believe it or not, since I had never been to a gig without earplugs, I thought this was just the ringing in the ears people talk about after shows, I didn't worry. I noticed that ear felt numb or heavy, so I just used headphones without the phone on that ear. I started noticing that I was sensitive to moderate sounds in that ear (like using cutlery) but just hoped it would heal. Eventually I started noticing that I was hearing high pitched sounds in sounds where I didnt before, for instance, beyond the regular tinnitus if I listen to water boiling in an open pot, or cars driving by in the distance, they now produce a high pitched sound where they didn't before. I also notice resonances at certain points in music, especially in tv, if people are talking and there is a string section in the background, I don't hear the actual sound of the strings well, I hear a louder "resonant" sound like a ringing, but modulated. This freaked me out so I googled, and realized that having tinnitus, and these symptoms after a concert 2 weeks is not normal. I read up what can cure tinnitus, so I started taking zinc, magnesium, coq10, copper, vitd etc.

      I've seen doctor and ENT and audiologist, all have just basically said i have to live with it...devastating.

      5 months later no improvement. Still have the constant tinnitus in the one ear, which can not be masked by sounds, as well as sensitivity to sound in that ear, as well as heavyness/numbness/tightness in that ear. I can't believe it, this is too much. Now music just makes me sad, now when i go outside and i see construction workers wearing hearing protection I just get this sick feeling. It is too much. Now i'm in constant fear of it getting worse, now my favorite thing in life is ruined.
       
      • Hug Hug x 5
    2. Mario martz
      Creative

      Mario martz Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2016
      Hey SilverSpiral,
      I can relate to you a lot,
      im such a huge music, fan, lover, my life used to move around music.
      i still have my dreams of writing, singing and produce music.
      it has been my dream since i was a little kid.
      so i understand your frustration, anger and depression.
      dont give up, there IS HOPE.
      for the first time in years there is hope.
      for me its been 6 months.
      and trust me... things are getting better, theres a lot of ups and downs, but in a much better place now.
      message me whenever you feel like it :)
       
      • Like Like x 1
    3. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Welcome to the forum. You are never alone here. We understand your struggle as most of us were where you are. You are welcome to rant and ask questions, as well as browsing the resources on TT, such as the incredible helpful success stories and the treatment sections. Your T is from acoustic trauma. Many people have this as the cause of their T. Mine included. Don't panic and despair. Things will get better.

      Your T is still relatively new. It is often said that it may take 6 months and more for the ears to settle down. The initial struggle with T is always tough for anybody because the body is facing this new and alien sensation which can't be shaken off nor treated. When we feel stuck, trapped, and when there seems to be no available medical solution, then stress and anxiety build up to a point the limbic system takes over, and we function in fight or flight mode, making any irritation from T much worse and the brain zooms in on T all day. Also the brain may be flooded with many distorted thoughts called cognitive distortions, and very often the brain is fooled into believing that living with T for life is a total catastrophe. Hence the immense mental sufferings, many even have suicidal ideations. I had that too initially from my ultra high pitch dog whistle T plus severe hyperacusis.

      Try do something active to help yourself, such as masking T, living & enjoying life again as much as possible. It will take some time but T is not an end game and good days will be back. I was in a mess a few years ago with ultra high pitch dog whistle T. I also had severe H which caused all noises too loud and piercingly hurtful. Worst, I had relentless anxiety and panic attack from T & H due to prior condition of anxiety and panic disorder. The sufferings were so bad that I thought I never would have good life again nor even to survive for long. But never say never. I am back to living a normal and absolutely enjoyable life. I wrote my success story and listed some important points helpful to my recovery. Here is my success story if you have time to read it. Take care and God bless.

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/
       
      • Like Like x 2
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    4. SilverSpiral
      Worried

      SilverSpiral Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise
      My tinnitus can not be masked really, I worry that I'd have to have sound too loud to mask it, I just know that like I said everyday sounds make the tinnitus more noticable, not mask it. It reacts to the sound, not get covered by it. It actually makes it more noticable, a little bit of noise like a computer fan masks it a bit beyond silence, but anything louder than that actually shows it up more.

      I know how many other people have tinnitus, but honestly, it does nothing it just feels too sad and painful for me. I understand that other people have tinnitus, even (many) musicians, and I feel empathy and understand that but its just like...no... it doesn't change how i feel. I would be able to cope with many worse hardships better than this in particular... like getting struck by lightning and losing the ability to walk would be less distressing than this, I know that sounds stupid and even offensive but it just is. In fact if I got struck by lightning and lost ability to walk AND got tinnitus, it still would not be as psychologically distressing as this...how does that make sense?

      5 months is quite ways on...is it all going to get better in september before the 6 month mark? and also there is the hearing issue with both ears beyond the tinnitus, what are the chances of that getting better? I hardly have even heard many other people describe something similar...besides whats called "hidden hearing loss". Where people have a hard time differentiating between sounds, but their audiogram reads normal. http://www.healthyhearing.com/report/52085-Researchers-discover-hidden-hearing-loss-mechanism

      If I try to listen to music I just get this horrible sinking feeling...i cant believe it. I don't hear the actual sound at several frequency ranges, I just hear basically like a sine wave.
       
    5. SilverSpiral
      Worried

      SilverSpiral Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise
      Also what is horrible is some of the things that I enjoyed besides music, such as meditation, yoga, and qi gong (all of which would probably help tinnitus if i could do them) have been disrupted by this...it just gives you time to focus on it, without being distracted...it is completely destroying.

      Also Billie from reading some of your posts, it sounds like there wasnt a specific acoustic trauma (loud noise) event that you know triggered your symptoms. It seems people with tinnitus caused by anything but loud noise have the best chance of recovery.
       
    6. Alue

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Yep, I can identify with a lot of what you said. I don't have any advice, but you aren't alone.

      Have you had a hearing test since your trauma?
       
      • Good Question Good Question x 1
    7. Mario martz
      Creative

      Mario martz Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2016
      Mmm i would have to disagree people with tinnitus from ototoxic drugs or benzo whitdrawl seem to be the more severe cases, also people with physical damage.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    8. SilverSpiral
      Worried

      SilverSpiral Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise
      2months after
      9blyqg.jpg
      4months after
      vpb4o2.jpg


      They are "within normal range" but they are somewhat different from eachother, and why the heck do i have tinnitus, and my hearing in general is messed up with these kind of results. Audiograms don't show much really do they? I read on a hidden hearing loss article that you can lose 90% of the cells at a range before it start to really show up on an audiogram?
       
    9. SilverSpiral
      Worried

      SilverSpiral Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise
      My left ear is the one with the constant tinnitus, it is the X on the charts.
       
    10. InfiniteLoop
      Sunshine

      InfiniteLoop Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Redwood City, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure. Long term microbial overgrowth?
      @SilverSpiral

      Your audiogram looks very good. However, you need to get an audiogram up to 16KHz to know the whole story. Mine is OK to 8KHz, but my left ear has a sharp drop in the very high frequencies. You can see it at:

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...re-are-any-useful-patterns.16989/#post-198604

      I used to be an audiophile before tinnitus. Music was one of the driven forces in my life. Now all that is gone. Severe T is a life changing event, and it has taken me to very dark places. Be kind to yourself and let healing and habituation happen even if it looks impossible now.
       
    11. Alue

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Have you habituated?
       
    12. InfiniteLoop
      Sunshine

      InfiniteLoop Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Redwood City, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure. Long term microbial overgrowth?
    13. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      If there is an abnormal exposure to really high pitch noise, it might be due to me trying to fix a faulty smoke alarm. It beeped non-stop while I tried to disconnect it and it took a few minutes to do so. I could tell my ears felt hurting afterwards. But my T didn't flare up right after but close enough to cause me to suspect they are linked. As for the chance or the speed for recovery, it is hard to say. Perhaps others know about the statistics on various types of T and the chance for recovery. However, if you read the success stories, many members who wrote their success stories got their T from acoustic trauma. So don't be too pessimistic about your chances of that. Here is William Shatner talking to David Letterman about his T and how he and Nimroy (Spock) got it from a loud bang during filming of a Star Trek episode. LOL. He has habituated to his T even though he said he was suicidal initially.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCdx8aueK9I
       

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