Working My Way Towards Habituation.

Well,I'm about a month into my T. ,which I know isn't very long (and could still improve/go away), but I already feel like the roughest part is behind me. About 2 weeks ago I did have my "maddening moment" where I wanted to scream,cry,yell,curse God, curse my in-laws, curse luck/fate, had anxiety,felt depressed,etc. I'm not going to say that was a good thing per se,but maybe something I needed? Cause I've felt a lot better since then,like I needed to jsut release my feelings, "let it all out" as they say. Since then I've been fully getting my life back. Like others have said,it's truly a mind over matter type of situation with T. ... It's still there,I hear it right now,but I really don't care! I started getting back to my full routine these past 2 weeks,cleaning the house again, exercising again. Even had a couple beers Friday night, squealing be damned! Took my son to the movies today to finally see Robocop ( made sure to bring my earplugs,though! Was pleasantly surprised to find that I could still hear everything,and not muffled or in that "undersea" way. just everything with the volume turned down!) and even drank a Coke - again,squealing be damned!

I'm feeling good. I also feel damaged,LOL! But still good. I'm able to sleep well now with the masking,and actually think I might be able to get away with not masking, but want to keep it up til next weekend at least. Can't afford a sleepless night when I have to get up at work for 4:00 AM, but I'm off next weekend so I'll try it then. Still haven't seen the audiologist yet, but will in about 2 weeks. But no matter what she says to me, I'm done with this. It no longer matters. My life is my own,and it's not going to be taken up by T. ! Not one minute more!

End rant,LOL!

 

That's great news Mikey hope it keeps getting better for you.

 

Mikey
Great news! You are on the right track and on the move!
Mark

 

Nice to read this!

 

thanks for the kind words!

yeah,I got to the point where I basically said " #$%@ it!" ....not waiting for it to go away. maybe it will,maybe it won't. hell,I even had a spike today,and I don't give a damn! I went to work,and am now uploading pictures for my online reviews I do. it's there,and I don't care! now the next step is not to notice it at all,which I have also been making progress on I feel.

 

Good stuff Mikey. Attitude is everything. Attitude and willpower. Goon on you.

 

Whoops, I meant "Good on you" ha ha!

 

haven't been on in a while! not that I don't like talking to you guys and gals ,but I've just been "getting on with my life" as it were. sometimes talking about your T. TOO much can make it worse,you know?

anyway,still working towards habituation. generally no problems sleeping,but I still use the humidifier. I figure,what the hell! it's not like it's going to hurt me or something! I seem to have a lot of good days,with some bad days sprinkled in here and there.not so much that the T. is gone,but that I hear it less/don't notice it as much. of course I'm not fully there as I still do notice it,but it's still not an issue for me,or stopping me from doing anything.

pretty sure at this point the T. ISN'T noise related,as they been doing demolition work in the room I normally work in at...work. LOL! too many "work's" there! but full on construction,and a guy with a sledgehammer knocking down a wall right next to me. I was waiting for the explosion,the spike.... nothing. didn't increase the T. at all....today is a spike day,but i knew it was coming as I drank a glass of Pepsi, but I guess that says something that I don't care,a lot of times don't even think about eating/drinking or not eating/drinking something because of the possible effects on my T.

I feel like I'm in a pretty good place at the moment...of course it would be better WITHOUT the ringing,but oh well! plus,well I I got the sinus CAT scan, but still have to do the allergy testing,so we'll see where the results of those tests go.

I'm the world's biggest pessimist. i really am! but if I can deal with this,have hope and know you can too!

 

That is a great post and positive message. Thank you mikey for sharing with us. It is amazing you are turning around in such a short, short time. I was still in a mess within the first few months. You are going to be ok. Looking forward to your success story.

 

Really needed to read this today.

 

I totally agree with billie48, it is amazing that you are doing so much better so soon!! Halleluiah!! Like Billie, I was a wreck for the first 4-5 months!! Keep it up man!!

Stay POSITIVE!!!!

 

as I've said before - I have no choice I have to just deal with it and go about my life,which is really a good thing because I don't have the option to stop my life,so therefore I won't because of the T.

LOL! just drank a Dr. Pepper. probably shouldn't have done that. but,again,wasn't thinking about it affecting the T. or not. just went and did it.

is it annoying? oh shit yeah,it is! but as someone else posted,and I can't remember who it was so please come forward and take a bow, that T.'s effect on us could be measured in not how loud we hear it but in how we react to it. I know it's still there. i hear it. my reaction is "You bastard!", then I go on and do the dishes or post online or drive my son to TRU or something.... just have to work on the completely ignoring it as it becomes background noise part,which I have had some success with,but when I have spike's like today that doesn't happen at all. I honestly think being able to sleep again is the most helpful part. cause for the first week and a half or so I kept wakin up with it,and the lack of sleep seriously dampened my mood and caused me anxiety, which of course made the T. more important in my brain and therefore "louder"...so if it's bothering you,definitely do whatever it takes to get sleep. you'll wake up the next day in a much better frame of mind to deal with it.

 

also want to say what a great,positive thing this forum is,and how much it has helped me. when you're going through something, you always feel alone. especially if there's no one around you who has gone through or is going through the same thing. so to know that I'm NOT alone, that not only is this a very common ailment, but one that many,many people have had success dealing with is a good morale booster and helps a LOT psychologically!

another thing is to see all the famous people afflicted with this. to see how many of them have gone on to have successful career's after getting T., and some have even changed the world. every success story is a positive enforcement that we too can be a success even with T.

 

Hi Mikey.
I guess you do it right.
My T is screaming to me 24/7. High pitched. I can hear it over everything - if I listen to it or not.
But I try doing all things I did before T onset.
What choice do you have? Stopping life is no option. I have wife, kids and too much to live for.
So working and living to the day it becomes background noise.
All the best for you.
Martin