mattryp
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mattryp

Member, Male, from Pennsylvania

Should I goto an NBA game with family? I assume they got louder, just like movies, since our society is insane. Hate living like this :-( Nov 20, 2019

    1. mattryp
      mattryp
      Should I goto an NBA game with family? I assume they got louder, just like movies, since our society is insane. Hate living like this :-(
      1. Bill Bauer
        Bill Bauer
        Don't "do the crime" if you can't "do the time"/handle a lifelong spike.
        Nov 20, 2019
        mattryp and all to gain like this.
      2. all to gain
        all to gain
        I so want to tell you to go, to live your life like yesteryear, but the reality is that you may live to regret it. This condition is the most hateful thing there is...
        Nov 20, 2019
        mattryp and acute like this.
      3. mattryp
        mattryp
        @all to gain Yeaaa, I just decided not to go. Feels like I'm letting a lot of people down, painful way to live.
        Nov 23, 2019
        Bill Bauer likes this.
    2. mattryp
      mattryp
      Struggling a lot with self forgiveness lately. Almost 3 years into this heartbreaking hermit life, that nobody around me understands.
      1. all to gain
        all to gain
        Yep, nobody except us sufferers get it! Life completely wrecked due to a phantom noise only we can hear...!! Couldn't make this crap up.
        Nov 1, 2019
        keka, acute, stacey and 1 other person like this.
      2. stacey
        stacey
        Same, I'm going on 6 year's.
        Nov 1, 2019
        mattryp likes this.
    3. mattryp
      mattryp
      Does your dream character also have messed up ears? Mine does :-/
      1. Lynny likes this.
      2. OnceUponaTime
        OnceUponaTime
        Whats your dream character??
        Oct 26, 2019
      3. mattryp
        mattryp
        @OnceUponaTime By that I just meant, the person I am within my dreams, not any special avatar / character.
        Oct 27, 2019
      4. OnceUponaTime
        OnceUponaTime
        Haha...I see. Well, both for me as I have had dreams were I do not have t and dreams were I do...ugh.
        Oct 27, 2019
        mattryp likes this.
    4. mattryp
      mattryp
      Anyone else's T & H spike after a little more noise that you're used to, mixed with a drastic change in weather?
      1. Striveon and keka like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. Striveon
        Striveon
        I'm sorry @mattryp I know how difficult it is to act like you're okay and wanting to go to wherever you have plans for. You just really want to stay home and dwell on the spike, it causes major distress. I hope you can somehow enjoy yourself and hopefully it settles for us soon. :(
        Oct 5, 2019
      4. mattryp
        mattryp
        @TheDanishGirl It's crazy how much spikes affect my emotional state. I know it'll go back down, but still get all anxious, especially when I have to face family / society with a spike.
        Oct 5, 2019
      5. OnceUponaTime
        OnceUponaTime
        Yes and yes.
        Oct 27, 2019
        mattryp likes this.
    5. mattryp
      mattryp
      Spike after my first anime convention, but I wore foam plugs, so think I'll be alright. Just beyond tired of the waiting game... :-/
    6. mattryp
      mattryp
      Cousin says he'll be at two concerts. I tell him to wear plugs, he calls me an old man. Crazy how little awareness there is about sound.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. mattryp
        mattryp
        @InfiniteLoop Well, I dunno if it eliminates most of the fun. I've had plugs for in for most of the loud events in my life, and managed to have a good time. But it was a damn wedding reception just about 3 years ago, that did me in. Totally agree though, being unprotected just isn't worth it.
        Sep 14, 2019
      3. Blodorn
        Blodorn
        My gf did go to 2 concert in two days without plugs despite my warning and she is okay. So yeah, T is really selective.
        Sep 14, 2019
        mattryp likes this.
      4. TheDanishGirl
        TheDanishGirl
        @Blodorn - my mom has gone to many concerts and she basically spent MANY years going to clubs and parties every single week from thursday-saturday. She says she has never had ringing in her ears. Some people are just lucky.
        Sep 14, 2019
        OnceUponaTime, MBH and Blodorn like this.
    7. mattryp
      mattryp
      I go through waves of acceptance, and turning that acceptance into self loathing again. Nearly 3 years in, and I'm on a loathing wave.
    8. mattryp
      mattryp
      Don't deliberately look at old pics of yourself / things you did before T & H.
      1. Bill Bauer and Striveon like this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. TheDanishGirl
        TheDanishGirl
        Yeah. It hurts looking at them.
        Apr 24, 2019
        Manny, mattryp and Striveon like this.
      4. OnceUponaTime
        OnceUponaTime
        I do not want to look at the pictures of the event that (I think) caused my tinnitus or the pictures of the event that, I know for a fact, aggravated it.
        Oct 27, 2019
        mattryp likes this.
      5. all to gain
        all to gain
        I used to love nostalgia, now I hate it. Life before was so much better.
        Nov 1, 2019
    9. mattryp
      mattryp
      Deciding whether or not to attend a concert of my favorite artist, with a full band, small venue, is causing me a lot of anxiety right now.
      1. View previous comments...
      2. mattryp
        mattryp
        It's just really a painful way to live... told my sister that he's touring now, and she said we'd have to go (also a fan), but now that I looked up the details, and see that it's this coming weekend, in small venues, I have to just omit that info to her, and let it pass. And the whole thing / my life right now makes me feel like shit.
        Mar 10, 2019
      3. TheDanishGirl
        TheDanishGirl
        @mattryp Yeah I know it is painful. I am having some rouugh days myself, these days......where I just miss my old life with concerts and other loud events, so much it hurts :( I keep telling myself it won't last forever.......that there will be a treatment in the near future. The prospect of having my old life back one day, keeps me going.......for now at least.
        Mar 10, 2019
        mattryp likes this.
      4. mattryp
        mattryp
        @TheDanishGirl The next thing I'm looking into again is vagus nerve stimulation, because it's connected to so many systems, auditory being one of them. I read that it can help tinnitus. I've tried it in the past with my Scenar, and plan on coming back to it soon.
        Mar 10, 2019
    10. mattryp
      mattryp
      Night out at hibachi + bad occlusion effect + constantly adjusting / pushing plugs deeper in, to remedy occlusion effect = T & H spike :-(
    11. mattryp
      mattryp
      I miss listening to music, while packing for a trip. Now I pack silently, with a deep unease about wherever I'm going.
      1. Leoglobe and Autumnly like this.
      2. Red
        Red
        I miss music too...
        The only music I get are the songs in my memories.
        Dec 22, 2018
        mattryp likes this.
      3. mattryp
        mattryp
        @Red Yeaaa, I've been doing the listening from memory thing too. Then I put the actual song on, and had to turn it down, realizing that the memory of it was sweeter, and had more clarity. Man, so depressing...
        Jan 4, 2019
    12. mattryp
      mattryp
      Anyone else feel like your entire personality, and how you interact with the world is totally off, because of living with T/H...
      1. View previous comments...
      2. OnceUponaTime
        OnceUponaTime
        Yes, sadly it has changed.
        Dec 16, 2018
        mattryp likes this.
      3. Red
        Red
        I hate the person I am now. She should go away and let the real Red come back. But that will never happen. The real Red is dead.
        Dec 16, 2018
        mattryp likes this.
      4. mattryp
        mattryp
        Wow, so I’m not alone in this right now. I feel like because of it, most of my decisions, and interactions with people are off. Then I retrace it in my mind, ways I could've positively altered the experience, by changing key decisions / things said. Then guilt, how I can't be more complete right now, how I'm letting everyone down. I've been here before, but this time it feels heavier, and it's a shitty place to be.
        Dec 16, 2018
    13. mattryp
      mattryp
      Trying to decide if I should goto an old friend's wedding, but I damaged my hearing at a wedding 2 years ago. He's asking where's my RSVP...
      1. View previous comments...
      2. mattryp
        mattryp
        @Bill Bauer Yea I'm thinking not to, but need to meditate on it some more. Just talked to a friend who thinks I should, but he doesn't really understand this condition.
        Dec 6, 2018
      3. Jack Straw
        Jack Straw
        Perhaps you can go to the ceremony / dinner and leave for the party when the music comes on?
        Dec 6, 2018
        mattryp and Bill Bauer like this.
      4. mattryp
        mattryp
        Thanks guys. We actually agreed that I join them for the rehearsal ceremony / dinner a couple days before. I forgot how weddings have that. But that way, it's quieter, and we can actually have a convo / catch up.
        Dec 7, 2018
        Red, Bill Bauer and Jack Straw like this.
    14. mattryp
      mattryp
      Avoid catastrophic thinking; all things are energy, and energy is never forever stagnant.
    15. mattryp
      mattryp
      All storms pass... All storms pass... All storms pass...
    16. mattryp
      mattryp
      The Harleys are coming out of hibernation :-/
      1. AZeurotuner likes this.
      2. View previous comments...
      3. mattryp
        mattryp
        @AZeurotuner Haha, I have the same reaction to those things, and have always respected the quiet cruisers. Props for owning one of those yourself. I knew a woman who was trying to explain the HD riding philosophy to me, and I kinda got it, but I don't get how those people don't have hearing damage from the wind / engine noise, esp when riding together. I'm sure that 99% of those riders don't plug up.
        Apr 15, 2018
        AZeurotuner likes this.
      4. AZeurotuner
        AZeurotuner
        My town is swarming with them, and it's always good weather to ride in Tucson, Arizona, so they never hibernate... I hear them all day and night, very annoying, most can be heard from about a mile away. And trust me those guys definitely have hearing damage, they just don't care.
        Apr 15, 2018
        mattryp likes this.
      5. mattryp
        mattryp
        @AZeurotuner That's rough man, sorry you have to deal with that. I'm in the mountains, so we have motocross / atvs riding around too. But compared to 5-10 - 20-30 / constant HD riders, I'll just be grateful for what I have to deal with here, lol.
        Apr 15, 2018
    17. Llouiseandhector
      Llouiseandhector
      I have started suffering lots of different things in my ears and I'm feeling very worried I have mri and mra saw 2 ents now my ent wants me to see someone for balance and hearing next week which he said will be a big help
    18. Llouiseandhector
      Llouiseandhector
      Hello nice to meet you . How are you feeling ? I was just wondering about the ear fullness you get and if you still get or did find out what it is ?
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Tinnitus Since:
    11/2016
    Cause of Tinnitus:
    Noise Trauma ~ Wedding Reception