Afraid, But Not Defeated

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Rodrigo Rivas, Oct 24, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. Rodrigo Rivas
      Fine

      Rodrigo Rivas Member

      Location:
      El Salvador
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Don't really know
      Hello. My name is Rodrigo, I'm 18 years old, I live in El Salvador, located in Central America.
      I finally had the balls to come and open my account here in Tinnitus Talk, something I had been afraid to do for this 2 months I've had the T, but tonight I decided "You know what? Fuck it, if it's going to heal, it'll be, if it's not, well...whatever" and here I am, finally accepting the fact that, yes, I HAVE TINNITUS.
      It wasn't easy to get to this point though, I first noticed my T one night when I was trying to sleep, I've had the T before as a result of an Otitis, but it faded away after a few days or weeks, don't really remember. Having the T was always one of my worst fears, and life has challenged me this way. As a normal person, I got desperate, I cried, I yelled, I lost sleep, I became an emotional wreck. I have visited my ENT just once, because he says that my Tinnitus comes from a blockage on the eustachian tube, probably caused because of a jaw problem I have. So I'll visit him again in a few days since the treatment he gave me has done nothing. I won't lie, I'm very afraid, I still get anxious about the T at times, because for a while I couldn't hear it, but now it's back, I think it never went away, I just stopped paying attention to it because of a technique someone posted in here, but now I'm paying attention to it again, and here I am, afraid, but not defeated. I was an emotional wreck for a couple of weeks, I even looked for ways to commit suicide without feeling any pain, but later on I decided I couldn't be such a weak person. I have always been the kind of person who likes to fight even in the hardest of situations, and this will not be the exception, I will go to the last resource I have to fight my T, and if it doesn't go away, I won't fall apart and cry over it my entire life, I will keep living, because I have so many goals and dreams to accomplish in my life. I want to finish my major, I want to graduate, I wanna move to Sweden and I wanna have my own P.R company, I want to have a fancy apartment, share it with my loved one and enjoy life, drink a margarita in Santorini, eat pasta in Italy, kiss my loved one in Paris, go shopping with no budget, buy a dog, love my family. I have so many things I want to fight for, I won't let a stupid sound stop me from that, I will fight everyday, and if I ever feel I can't, I will get strenght from who knows where to keep fighting!

      This is my short, but for me, meaningful story.
      It's nice to be here, we are all fighters, we are all fabulous as I like to say.

      Cheers! For a wonderful life.

      Rodrigo.
       
      • Hug Hug x 3
      • Agree Agree x 1
    2. Kathi
      Balanced

      Kathi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      NJ/USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/30/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      HFHL and stress
      Hello @Rodrigo Rivas and welcome. I'm so sorry for your troubles but happy that you joined TT. This is the place to be if you are struggling. I am much older than you and truly feel sorry that this has happened to you at such a young age . I can say that it will get better and there is no reason why you can't have all those wonderful goals (I've been to Paris for an extended visit and loved it!).

      Try masking to get a good sleep, or talk to your doctor about a temporary med to help. I find relaxation exercises to be very helpful--there are many on iTunes -- look for Yasmine Buraik --her voice is very soothing. I also used her breathing exercises to help with anxiety. If you don't have iTunes, just google her name.

      You are not a weak person--you are a person with tinnitus and it is very distressing at first. It will either fade back to where you didn't notice it or you will get used to it again. We are here for you and if you have any questions, please ask.

      (((hugs)))
       
      • Like Like x 1
    3. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      Hi, Rodrigo,

      I agree with Kathi. You are a strong person, and you will be able to overcome this, if you don't let it get you down. All those things you want to do, you will be able to do. There are ways to cope with tinnitus, and keep it under control. Use background sound, as Kathi mentioned, get enough sleep (take sleep aids if needed), eat a healthy diet, exercise, and try to live your life as normally as possible. In time, your body and brain will become more accustomed to the sound, and you'll find that you can do things again. For me, distraction really helps. I try to keep busy all the time, so that I don't give in to negative thinking, and dwell on my tinnitus.

      You could try gradually returning to the things you enjoy doing, a little bit at a time. That's what I did, and it really worked. When mine first worsened, I was unable to read, or to concentrate on anything for any length of time. I began by working crossword puzzles, playing games, and little by little, reading. Now, I'm back to doing normal things again, and back at work.

      I wish you well, and know that things will begin to improve for you soon!!!

      Best wishes,
      Karen
       
      • Like Like x 1
    4. joseph Ghass
      Angelic

      joseph Ghass Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2015
      Once you defeat T, you will conquer the world again with full force. No wonder why tinnitus starts with the letter Time :). Never say never.
       
    5. Rodrigo Rivas
      Fine

      Rodrigo Rivas Member

      Location:
      El Salvador
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Don't really know
      Lately I have been feeling better, I can see life shining again for me! I've always been hypocondriac, so basically all my life I'm dealing with a different disease, it has been stressful, but somehow I've managed. After I get my test done (Which I don't know the name in english) the doctor said that we are gonna work in making the sound tolerable, which I already started doing by masking it to sleep, and keeping myself busy. For a few weeks I thought my life was over, but now, I realized, it has just started! :) Thank you for your words!
       
      • Like Like x 2
      • Hug Hug x 1
    6. uae96
      Thinking

      uae96 Member

      Location:
      Dubai, UAE
      Tinnitus Since:
      6/14/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
    7. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Excellent advice from notable posters above. You are showing great improvement within a short 2 months. That is great news. Yes, you have a good story to tell so when you are ready for a success story, please do write one for others to read and benefit from.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    8. Rodrigo Rivas
      Fine

      Rodrigo Rivas Member

      Location:
      El Salvador
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Don't really know
      Thank you for commenting my post <3 I don't know if my Tinnitus went away for a couple of weeks and it came back, or maybe I just stopped paying attention for a while. But the thing is, it's back, and even though I'm afraid I've decided to not let it defeat me! I have been analizing myself to see how Tinnitus works in my body, and I've made some good improvements. I hope this will lead the way to a nice life :)
       
      • Like Like x 1
    9. Rodrigo Rivas
      Fine

      Rodrigo Rivas Member

      Location:
      El Salvador
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Don't really know
      I believe the hardest battles are fought by the strongest soldiers. We are all strong, we are all struggling at times with Tinnitus, but somehow, we keep on going every day, and that, is a success story, everyday that passes by and you don't give up, is another huge victory!
       
    10. Rodrigo Rivas
      Fine

      Rodrigo Rivas Member

      Location:
      El Salvador
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Don't really know
      Thank you, I noticed you were the first one to read it. I send you a hug back! :) What's your story?
       
    11. Rodrigo Rivas
      Fine

      Rodrigo Rivas Member

      Location:
      El Salvador
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Don't really know
      Thank you! I won't lie, it has been hard, I keep getting anxious at times, I keep asking myself "Why me?", "Will it ever go away?", "Is it gonna get louder?" (Which I hope it doesn't). I try to take better care of my ears now, and even though I'm afraid, I try to keep myself calm and remember that I must get through it :) When I'm ready, I'll follow your advice and write a success story, there's a long way till there yet I think...but I'm happy with my improvement :)
       
    12. uae96
      Thinking

      uae96 Member

      Location:
      Dubai, UAE
      Tinnitus Since:
      6/14/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Yeah man , I'm ur age as well , I still don't have a clear cut reason just like you I went to bed and noticed a sound while laying on my ear 5 months ago , since then it never stopped it could be , loud music from that day , low vitamin b12& zinc , or Tmj my jaw clicks every time I eat , I live a very noisy active life style as well
       

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