After Some Improvement I'm Back to Day 1 Intensity — Unable to Cope

Discussion in 'Support' started by spedgas, Oct 2, 2019.

    1. spedgas
      Gloomy

      spedgas Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I've managed to stay off the support section for a long time, but I just can't anymore. After a year I was starting to have some stretches of time that things seemed okay. The volume seemed lower and I was noticing it less. A few days ago something changed. I did nothing to cause it.

      My ears click when I walk or go down stairs. I hear grinding in my neck when I turn my head. My jaw is painful and my facial muscles ache. I'm a mess.

      The volume I hear is back up to my onset level or even higher. The location changed too. It has always been in the center of my head. Now it's in the center and my left ear. Absolutely screaming in my left ear.

      I've given up so much because to this nonsense. I gave up my easy job of 18 years because of the anxiety and stress of my work environment. I got another job in a quiet environment that is super busy, hoping it would draw my attention off the ringing. It worked for a while. The past two days it's taken everything I have just to keep a straight face at work.

      I spent 4 days in a lockdown mental health unit. I'm doing everything I can to avoid doing that again, but I'm becoming scared for my own safety.

      This is damaging my relationship with my kids and my wife. I'm simply not built for this. I've take a CBT class, seen people about my jaw, and changed my entire lifestyle. I've not nothing left to give this thing. I just can't live like this.
       
      • Hug Hug x 8
    2. Allan1967

      Allan1967 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1997
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      So sorry for you. I'm in the same place. This fucking thing is just evil personified. It's about fucking time something was done.

      Maybe all of us close to throwing the towel in should meet and end it in spectacular fashion to get press attention for the rest of us who are just about coping.

      Everyone says it gets better, well I'm nearly a year in and no further forward.
       
      • Hug Hug x 5
    3. Agrajag364

      Agrajag364 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Allan...........can I ask, do you still have a spike due to Lenire?
       
    4. Allan1967

      Allan1967 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1997
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Not sure, I've had an ear infection so its difficult to tell until everything settles. In fairness, it wasn't all due to Lenire. I had a exposure to a house alarm panel - I think that aggravated and the heavy white noise hiss on top of the it all was the icing on the cake, but it could have been anything like loud TV use or something.
       
    5. Agrajag364

      Agrajag364 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I had an absolute monster of an ear infection a month ago and I think it’s just settling now so try not to panic.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    6. Allan1967

      Allan1967 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1997
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Now I'm told I have glue ear.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    7. Daniel Lion
      Ape-like

      Daniel Lion Member Podcast Patron Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      SE Asia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise trauma, hearing loss
      Sorry... truly.
      Any luck or good advice about your jaw issues, a splint?

      This illness is a beast... I know.

      Maybe you need to lean on Benzos for a few weeks to put the breaks on. When the shit hits the fan they are resource... sad but true.

      I pray you can find a skilled doctor to help you with your neck and jaw.. it should help with your ears as well.

      GregCA and GregSacramento can actually give good medical advice, I can only send you hugs, love and compassion. So I send those to you know, your in my thoughts and prayers for some relief. So sorry you are suffering brother.
       
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    8. Harley

      Harley Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Really sorry to hear this, as nobody should be exposed to this kind of inhumane suffering on 24/7 basis.

      You (and many others) are a perfect example of why we need a real medical solution to deliver us from this nightmare.
      If it makes you feel any better, I also feel like being chased into a dick forrest with mouth wide open every single day (metaphorically speaking of course).

      Bimodal stimulation just might be the fix were all waiting for, so hang in there for a bit longer.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    9. MisticRayn

      MisticRayn Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meloxicam possibly
      I’m sorry. My tinnitus is mild and still it has driven me to the point of tears, and I truly feel for you. I heard a tip once that helped a bit at the time: try to meditate on the sound and link the sound to relaxation. The ideal is for it to go away, I know, but if that isn’t an option maybe trying to make the sound induce relaxation instead of the opposite is a valid strategy. I wish you peace.
       
    10. Chinmoku

      Chinmoku Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown, possibly medication
      Very sorry to hear this. I can relate to the sense of desperation, feeling trapped with nowhere to go. I am in a similar situation. I recently passed the one year mark. Mine has kept worsening progressively in time. It is now often unbearable. It is ruining my relationships with my family and my work, I have to make a huge effort everyday to keep going with the kids and work but it's not sustainable, I see no solution going forward. I try to distract myself but it is now so loud that there is no distraction that is effective. I'm also stuck on a medication I'd like to stop, but my mood is so bad that I don't dare stopping it or even tapering right now. I am trying vagus nerve stimulation now but it's having a really minimal effect. I hope they find a cure or effective treatment soon because I'm at the end of my tether in terms of coping. I'm in the waiting list for Lenire but right now I feel so poorly that I don't even know if I would have the energy to travel to Ireland.

      I am losing all hope. I often wish for a quiet death during the night, but I cannot die with two kids, how would they go on without a father? I don't know how I will go on. I understand what you are going through. As I said, I hope a cure or treatment comes out soon. For now I pray and will include you in my prayers.
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
    11. all to gain
      No Mood

      all to gain Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      -
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      -
      As much as I am in real distress, and I am, I actually laughed out loud at this. That is maybe the first time this has happened since I got this affliction.
       
    12. all to gain
      No Mood

      all to gain Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      -
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      -
      I'm the same!!

      Just when you think nothing worse can happen, some new sound or a new level of sound decides to drop by for fun.

      I think people think I'm going over the top, but I have been crippled by this. My life, and therefore the life of my wife and kids, has completely changed. I fear for their future, as I'm not too sure how much more I can take of this crap either, and I'm only 3-4 months in. I can't even believe I am typing those words.

      I'm sure many people think we are just whining complainers or too weak, but for me, and I'm sure for some of you above, this is a real living hell that has knocked us flat on our backs.
       
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    13. Harley

      Harley Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Honestly, if I can make a fellow sufferer laugh and forget just for a bit, it makes my day better as well.
       

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