Anxiety and Depression — Can't Take My Focus Off Tinnitus

Since my spike/new onset of tinnitus it has been almost a year. First months were full of panic and anxiety. I was extremely depressed. I went back on Paxil which I had taken before but slowly tapered off in 2017.

Now I'm back in 30 mg Paxil and take a pill of Passionflower every evening. I also take Zinc and Magnesium. Over the months I got better very very slowly. Last time I experienced a spike/volume increase it was 2016 and after a short period of time (months) I wanted to fight my way back into life.

This time I am sooooooo tired of all this. Although I am better to some degree, the ear pain is gone, the TTTS is much better etc. this time I feel I am left with a degree of tinnitus which constantly makes me afraid. I can't take my focus away. I simply cannot. It's not loud, it's just sooooooo high pitched. I am totally nerve wrecked. I am back to work and had weeks that were good, had times that were almost normal. But I can't get rid of these days when I'm full of fear, grief and depression.

I want to let go. But this high pitched shriek is hitting me in my deepest safety zone. I just don't feel save. I know I am, I believe in God and know everything happens for a reason. I just don't feel save in my body anymore.

Just had to vent, sorry.

 

@TLion,
Tinnitus is mentally changing but try not let it get to you.
Have you tried counselling? It won't stop tinnitus but can help emotionally and unlock the fear you feel.

love glynis

 

I hear you man. I believe I know how you feel. It is terrible indeed. Hugs.

 

I had (what I believed was significant) improvement earlier today but visited a ***** grocery store in which the announcement speaker had a screeching sound that triggered a spike. It is relentless and has only settled down for brief moments and then starts up again. When I first got this tinnitus - it was about two weeks ago, give or take, and sounded like cicadas but the pitch seems higher now but somewhat quieter but it's still a 'shriek' too and it better die down and stop these ongoing spikes or I'm going to look seriously at suicide again.

I just need a way and to not be afraid of death. People talk about 'cures' but I think it's too far away and too much of an unknown. I need this to stop - supposedly, people learn to tolerate it but I am not in that group, I just can't. If it goes semi-quiet and has just a low enough sound that I can overlook - that has happened to me before - it just doesn't last long enough - but stays or goes away completely, then I can wait for the cure or treatment that supposedly really tackles what's going on.

I think it's so difficult to take focus away and not concentrate on this - I have tried but when it's too loud and/or the tone/pitch is too high and the speed is too fast - it's practically impossible to concentrate on anything else. I hate how people say 'it doesn't hurt you or it's not harmful' - it is torture. The brain is malfunctioning and that is huge to me. One shouldn't be expected to tolerate and accept such a sound even if it's not really there. :-( This should be classified as a disability.

 

I know what you mean and I am sorry you are going through this. God bless you, mate!
You will be better soon.

 

You WILL be better! Give it time. Your brain will learn that there is no threat. And the best thing is it will happen by itself. The only thing you have to do is let loose and try to relax.

 

The high pitch squealing in my right ear has been extremely loud since I woke up this morning. It's hard to ignore. I hear it over everything. I'm trying to stay busy both to divert my attention from it and because there are things I need to do. It seems like the more I do the less my brain focuses on the noise. Thank goodness I'm already taking an antidepressant (have for years, though not because of the tinnitus) that helps me keep going. So that's my suggestion to you: Try to keep busy. I know not everyone's tinnitus is the same and that that works for me might not work for you, but what's the alternative to staying busy?

 

It's hard for me to stay busy.

 

I don't know why it's hard for you to stay busy, but try. Get up and move. Clean something. Fix something. Go somewhere. Volunteer. Avoid "activities" that involves focusing on listening (watching TV, listening to music).

 

I use white noise devices when the tinnitus pitch and volume become extreme. They were actually prescribed as part of TRT and are ridiculously expensive at $1600 for the two of them. But, they do help me on my really dire bad days. Another option is to get wireless ear buds and play ocean sounds through it at a reasonable decibel level. That might be soothing. Something else I do is just play music and I do use earbuds but at moderate volume . A sound machine may also help

 

I am also thinking of getting the in-ear pieces. Did you wear them for 2 years, 10 hours/day as recommended?

 

@Lilah hello, yes I did. I actually wore them close to 24 hours a day for 2 years. I did make significant improvement and in fact did not need to use the white noise earpieces for a couple of years. The tinnitus never left. It just became bearable. However about 2 years ago I slowly titrated off Klonopin without much of a problem. But about three months afterwards the tinnitus again became much more severe. I’m still better than where I started which was catastrophic. I would say I now have about three decent days a week and about four days where things are pretty bad and I wear the devices. I may go back to wearing them every day at least 10 hours a day and see if I can re-habituate.

I am also signed up for Lenire with Neuromod in Ireland but I probably won’t be doing that until the spring as I’m on the waiting list right now to be scheduled.

The devices do at least allow me to function to a degree although we all know the suffering involved. But the devices do mitigate things a bit.

 

Thanks. Do you think the tinnitus came back severe because of stopping Klonopin or because you stopped using the maskers?

 

I think stopping the Klonopin was probably the biggest factor. I should also mention that I was concurrently doing acupuncture, craniosacral therapy, ayurvedic herbs, and hypnosis. I kept doing all of those therapies so I do think that stopping the Klonopin may have been the factor that allowed the tinnitus to increase three months after I stopped . Klonopin is used as an off label drug in order to help with tinnitus .

If you use the White Noise devices remember to set them just below the level of the tinnitus. That is what is recommended in TRT Tinnitus retraining therapy in order to habituate. The word habituate is kind of funny but in my case the decibel level did come way down and so did the pitch which meant that I didn’t need to wear the devices for at least two years .

Good luck!