Back to Silence

Hi Julia,
Three simple steps and will to do them, that's all it takes.
What exactly is this method? Some kind of redirection?

 

This is a great and simple piece of advice, thank you. Have seen tips for meditation and things that I've never been good at, but this response is easy and does seem to reduce anxiety very quickly.

Thank you so much.

 

Apparently when we feel irritated, panicky, depressed, mad, or sad about tinnitus, it's because of the reaction of the amygdala part of the brain. Those feelings remain and even build if the reaction is "I wish...I hope...Oh no...What if.." But to ACKNOWLEDGE the feeling in a NEW way by stating it lets the pre-frontal cortex deal with the tinnitus. It knows what to do with it, it files it away.
You might say it's a way of dealing with tinnitus in a logical way, not an emotional one.

 

1) Stop thinking about, and reacting to tinnitus as you have been. Just stop.

2) State your feeling when your T is bothersome.

3) Write this stuff down and review them over time.

Hopefully the new reactions fade over time. Success comes when they do.

Simple.

 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME !!

Five years ago tomorrow I recorded my Back To Silence video which appears on page one of this thread. I was in sort of a fragile state of mind then and I can see that on my face in the video. Wow, things have changed for me in the last five years.

My "healing" happened quite fast. I wish the best for folks using this method. And I hope you give it 100%, because that's what I had to do. I felt like I was in a corner and this method was my last chance. Is my tinnitus gone? Nope. Do I hear it? Nope. well.... sometimes I hear it, like right now, because I'm talking (typing) about it. In a few minutes it'll be gone. It's loud and nasty but somehow now my brain puts it aside. These days I run my power tools, listen to loud music (can't go to loud concerts), play music, slam doors, and make all kinds of noise without giving it a second thought. T bothers me less than having a hangnail.

It's probably harder for most folks to find the determination that it was for me. Five years ago I think I may have been on the edge of a nervous breakdown from T. It was all I thought about. People would talk to me and I couldn't pay attention. I wanted to tell everyone about my problem and ask them all if they had T. My energy was drained. I was sad, anxious, and afraid. Within a few days of starting the method, my responses changed. Over time my responses to T went away and so did my perception of T. I was driven to do the method. I had no choice.

I have no response for folks who disbelieve in, or question the method. It worked for me and I hope it works for you. And I hope you don't have to suffer like I did or be "driven" to do it. Maybe I'll do some sort of follow up video in the future. But for now, it's been five great years and I hope your future is bright too.

Terry

 

Hi @I who love music,

First of all thank you so much for all your work on this forum. I have been reading this thread over and over and I have just watched your video and I think you're an angel.

I am having some hiccups with your method but I am determined to keep trying to make it stick.
A few weeks ago I made a start, and within 24 hours I felt great and was able to sleep without masking. The tinnitus seemed much quieter (I know we're not supposed to be monitoring volume!).
I was doing well for a week – I happened to be very busy and distracted and spending time in noisy environments so my responses were naturally fairly low. Then I started having more quiet time to myself and it became immediately obvious that my tinnitus was as annoying as ever. I felt that I had just been "in denial" for that one week.

So I slipped back into a bad headspace and I am determined to try again, but I have some questions.

1) How do you decide when to mark a response? In a quietish environment I am aware of my tinnitus constantly. If I responded honestly I would be responding every half a second.

2) Once you've marked your response, then what do you do? I mean if the tinnitus is still there and you're still having emotions about it, do you mark those emotions too, or do you try to just forget about it for 10 minutes? If you can't stop obsessing, should you get up and do something to distract yourself? If I'm watching TV for example I am constantly aware of and distressed by my tinnitus. I don't know how to deal with that. I saw somewhere where you suggested setting a fixed time period – e.g. marking your response every five minutes. But how do you observe diminishing frequency of responses if your responses are artificially set?

3) On busy, noisy days my responses are naturally lower, whereas on days where I spend a lot of time in quiet places or by myself they are through the roof. Any advice on how to monitor your improvement (i.e. decreasing response rate) when it's so dependent on external circumstances?

4) I tend to obsess about my tinnitus even when I CAN'T hear it. This means it's almost impossible not to listen out for it. Any advice on how to deal with these obsessive thoughts? I imagine that beating these is the key to the whole thing. I suspect that it's these thoughts that are stopping me from getting to grips with this method.

5) How important is it to physically write them down? I haven't tried that yet, but I think it might help me to sort of have an external record of my responses, rather than having them sort of keep turning over in my head? I liked what you said about being focused on your bit of paper rather than the tinnitus itself.

Sorry for all the questions. I really think this is something that could help me if I could only make it stick, so I'm very keen to get it right!

Thank you so much again for all you've done for everyone here. You really are an absolute star.

Lizzy
Xxx

 

@Hotspur2931

Hi Lizzy,

I am not Terry of course, thus I sure am not answering for Terry. I am giving you my thoughts because of my experience in applying what Terry discovered with his method to my situation. Therefore, here is how I found what worked and works for me:

· I read every single post in his thread. Your post has similar issues to others who have posted on how to manage almost constantly hearing the sound. I had similar issues to your post when I first used Terry’s method. I decided to just note the sound/feeling about every 5 minutes if I was hearing it pretty much continuously at some times of the day. Here are my “notes” from my reading of the entire thread:


Here is the “bottom line” on how to implement it from researching the Back to Silence thread:

The "Back to Silence" method calls for not measuring the sound(s), not to monitor the tinnitus sound(s) or focus on it, do not describe the sound(s) or compare the sound(s).

Another way to think about it is to follow the four "don'ts" of the Back to Silence method:

1 - Don't measure it
2 - Don't monitor it
3 - Don't describe it
4 - Don't compare it


Do the following:

1- STOP talking about tinnitus, measuring it, comparing it, describing it, and thinking about it.
2- When you hear the sound(s), tell yourself, "I hear it, I feel .........." (insert your true emotion)
3- make a note of this incidence (just put a hash mark for instance and add them up daily) and each emotional response in a word or two on paper, review your paper weekly to see the change in your responses.

If you are in a position (like say driving a car, in meditation, in bed getting to sleep or up in the night etc.) where you can’t note down your occurrence then do it verbally and add a hash mark and note later in writing if you can recall it.

Once you have gotten to 5 to 10 times a day by noting the tinnitus occurrences you can stop writing them down if desired. Just do the “I hear it, I feel _______ (insert your true emotion) to yourself with no need to keep a count.

· I did not write down the noting of my hearing the tinnitus most of the time by far. In fact hardly ever. Indeed not following exactly what Terry’s instructions are to write it down and indeed that is what I did. I only verbally in my mind and not voiced aloud did I do the noting of the hearing/feeling. Maybe I would have better/faster results if I had and the truth is I have not. Since I got good results, I have never really seen the need to write it down. I could tell the amount of time between noticing the tinnitus was decreasing without writing the incidents down so I did not go back to writing it down.

· I always used (before I found Terry’s method) and still do use a white noise machine at night when sleeping. I have gone to sleep a few times with no problem without the white noise machine like when the power was off (hey I live in Florida with hurricanes that take the power out) or I forgot to bring it when out of town in a hotel.

· I do not exclusively and only use Terry’s method. I also use other methods with Terry’s method. I have used L-Theanine, particularly right after I started having tinnitus from a loud sound incident. I also have used it when I had a couple of big spikes due to loud sound incidents. I used it mostly to get to sleep (200 mg and I weigh 160 pounds) 20 minutes before bedtime. Worked like a charm to get to sleep. If I woke up in the night and began to obsess about mostly work issues, I would take 200mg more then. That also worked like a charm. When I was in those two spiking times, which were so big that I had to work to re-habituate all over, I used 100 or 200 mg after work to reduce my anxiety until I had worked myself back into habituation. I have not used it in maybe a year now since my last habituation. In addition, at the very beginning of my tinnitus in 2011 my MD prescribed a low dose of Trazodone at bedtime. Trazodone is an anti-depressant, which also has a sedating effect when taken as well as anti-anxiety properties. I was on that for several months while I worked a hypnosis program by Kevin Hogan. Here is the info on Kevin’s program:

Tinnitus Turning the Volume Down by Kevin Hogan PsyD. = I got a lot out of his book and Kevin’s program personally in 2011 when I first got tinnitus so I may be a bit biased. Then I achieved habituation out of it, which means I only heard the sounds maybe 3 to 5 times per day at most and I was not uncomfortable when I did hear them. The biggest downside to this program is the cost of the program is $197 but it was worth it to me since it worked.

· I am a member of the American Tinnitus Association. They have a podcast with a psychologist who has tinnitus and specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for those with tinnitus. You can hear the podcast here:

https://www.ata.org/podcasts/episode-10-habituation-tinnitus-using-cognitive-behavioral-therapy

In this podcast, he tells you what he thinks you need to know about CBT. He also has a lot of free resources for those with tinnitus on his website here:

https://www.cbtfortinnitus.com/cbt-for-tinnitus-resources

He says many people can complete CBT for tinnitus in as little as 2 to 10 sessions with someone who is trained in CBT for tinnitus but unfortunately most therapists are not adequately trained in CBT and don't know anything about tinnitus.

On his resource page, he has a 90-minute webinar, a mindfulness meditation audio, recommendations for self-help books (he is working on one of his own) and other key self-help information to give it a go for yourself. He does offer coaching on dealing with tinnitus as well should you need/want that. I suggest you give it a listen and look. Hope this helps. I use CBT methods since I have long-time experience with it as a retired psychotherapist.

I might add I do use earplugs in noisy environments or when I have to do things that cause loud noises.

OK, that is it. I figure each person is different. As they say in AA “Take what you need and leave the rest.” is a great motto. Maybe you can take some of this as what you need and just leave the rest.

Hope it helps!

 

@Henry Orlando FL

Hi Henry,

I don't know how to thank you for writing such a long and detailed post for me. The kindness of people who come back to this forum and others to help people just blows me away.

I am having a better day today and I think the key to this whole thing is step 1 – stop listening for the tinnitus and stop responding in the old way. You are absolutely right about the 5 don'ts. I will write those down and refer to them often.

I am determined to keep working on this method, alongside other techniques, even when sometimes I fail. I actually tried it once before about six months ago and got nowhere with it – I think I just wasn't ready for it yet. Second time around it went a lot better but as I say it all went wrong after a week. I will keep trying and I'm hopeful that eventually it will stick!

I will definitely listen to that podcast and learn more about CBT. I had some CBT in the summer and it did help even though the therapist wasn't particularly well informed, so I am sure there is more help in that direction.

Love to everyone on here. It's a journey with lots of downs but the ups are pretty good and I'm learning a lot. As I say, today is a good day – I might not be so chirpy tomorrow!

Anyway thanks again Henry and Terry and all you guys.

Lizzy
Xxx

 

@Henry Orlando FL

Well said!

For new tinnitus sufferers who may read this in the future:
For me going on 3 years with continuous sound-induced tinnitus, environmental factors have only worsened my tinnitus (so be extra careful going forward). But with with the specific don't measure/monitor/describe/compare method I quote above, I can navigate my "new normal" life.

Give yourself at least 2 years before you expect to see some progress.

Said another way, it is analogous to many (most or any?) other health condition one may encounter as they age: we all need to learn to adapt to a "new normal".

So with that in mind, I find it also helps is to engage life and your mind to the fullest to 1) distract you from tinnitus, but more importantly 2) have a valuable/meaningful life.

That is, become preoccupied and focused on some other activity, person, job, hobby, etc. As an example for me, I have two grade-school-aged sons (and their schoolwork, extra-curricular activities, etc.) that I have increased my focus on to become an "over-the-top engaged father" to them as well as a host of home projects and a career.

I'm fortunate to be in this place. It would be much more difficult if I was a single person living alone.

 

Thank you.
Your approach saved me.

 

I have had loud ringing in both ears for 50+ years. I am able, however, able to go for hours... sometimes days without noticing it. I have learned that I only hear it is when it is brought to my attention, either by reading, hearing, (radio, etc.) someone mentioning it, or some other method. It is there all the time, but somehow I can ‘tune it out’. This is not done by anything that I am able to do deliberately, but is subconsciously done by my brain.

 

1) Decide when to "make your mark" when it REALLY bugs you. You're right. We can't make a million marks a day.
2) Your tinnitus sounds serious like mine. I suggest writing down an honest emotion along with each mark, AFTER stating the emotion to yourself... "I feel scared."
3) As long as you're making your marks you'll have written proof you can look back on. The purpose of this is to empower you and realize the responses are decreasing.
4) It's so hard to respond in a new way (step number one). It's VERY hard. But soon it gets easier like any habit. Thinking back, it was like sticking my thumb in a dam. It does get easier like any habit change. Hope is not a factor here, just repetitive steps 1,2, and 3, over and over. Retrain your brain.
5) It's VERY important to have the pencil and paper. For two reasons - you can reflect on your progress and watch your marks dwindle then see your emotions change. This made me very fired up and happy. And number 2 - I think my mind just got sick and tired and bored of making all those marks and that helped push the tinnitus response into the cortex of my brain where it was filed away.

Good luck, stay in touch,
Terry

 

Hi Henry,
Got your pencil and paper? This step removes the emotional impluse from one area of the brain to another, where there is not emotion involved. No worry, no fear, no anxiety.
Good luck,
Terry

 

Hey Winhawk,
You're in a place a lot of folks want to be. And I'm there now. Thanks for your comment.
Terry

 

Hey everybody,

This is my first indoor performance since I started the Back To Silence method. No problems. Didn't hear my tinnitus, didn't think about it.
It was noisy. Kids yelling, jingle bells jingling, my hurdy gurdy screaming, the flute in my right ear, and I kicked my drum so hard and loud I broke it.
I don't dare go to loud concerts anymore though, that would be curtains for me.
So I'm playing music again, and I love music. - Terry

 

Thanks Terry,

Having a tough few days. This time last year at Christmas my tinnitus was brand new and not that loud and I still thought it would go.

Now a year on, despite having got through a very bad episode of anxiety and depression in the spring/summer, I feel distressed about how much I am struggling compared to this time last year.

I'm trying to do the method but I'm not doing it consistently yet. I think I do need to get this paper and pencil. Honestly I'm scared that (a) I won't see a decrease in responses or (b) I'll get tired of writing them down/impatient to see improvement and I'll start marking fewer responses even though I'm not actually doing better, thus kidding myself!

As you can see, my confidence is down at the moment and I'm filled with all kinds of doubt and fear.

Thanks so much for your message. I can tell that you really believe this can work for me, and that does make me feel better and make me determined to succeed.

Love to everyone here and Happy Holidays

Lizzy
Xxx

 

Hi lizzy,
I'd be surprised if after doing the method you didn't see a change in your responses. Fear is natural I suppose, and you can take that as a sign that the emotional amygdala part of your brain is running the show. One pencil and one small notebook just might change your life.
Hang in there, keep in touch,
Terry

 

Hi Hazel,

I've been itching to make another video, ya.
If there's just one person that achieves some success, It would be worth my visits here. I'm glad to help. I'm so glad this site exists because this is where I learned about this method in the first place. -Terry

 

@I who love music

Terry, I wanted to second what Hazel said above. Thanks for keeping this thread alive. Five years after you recorded the video it's good to see you playing music again and enjoying life.

 

Hey man, glad to hear your story. Have to try it on my own. Cheers and enjoy the silence!!

/C

 

Too much sugar or too much snoring trigger my hyperacusis which I notice once every three months or so. I doesn't seem related to my T. Or it could be. I don't really know. But overall I notice H much less.

 

Thanks for this.

Step 1 is very hard. I guess when you have spent months and many people years of doing something (listening and analysing T) then breaking the habit is next to impossible. I have only tried 3 days so will keep on working in this.
Step 2. This is easy and very helpful.
Step 3. I do not record my responses. Why would I? I immediately noticed that this technique helps. If I mark the observations down I am giving T more attention and making it worse?

 

Mikki I agree with you about Step 1. I am still trying but it's ups and downs because I can't really get anywhere with the other steps until I sort out Step 1.

I wonder if we could share tips and tricks here for achieving Step 1? How do we stop listening for and thinking about tinnitus?

My main method at the moment is distraction and time. It's my hope that the more I fill my life with other activities and thoughts, eventually I will naturally start thinking about things other than tinnitus. This method has worked for me in the past (e.g with breakups) but it does take a long long time and you have to stick with it.

I am doing a beekeeping course at the moment and I'm planning to get a beehive in the spring. I'm excited about it. What are some other things people are doing to stay busy and distracted and keep their lives full?

 

Thought Stopping Options

First thing, you have to understand is individuals really do not control their thoughts. That little voice in my head (psychotherapists call it “self-talk”) is not really mine. Unlike a radio, TV or computer I cannot just turn self-talk off. Self-talk gives me good thoughts, things to keep me safe and often tells me what I need to hear. I do not want to get rid of all of it of course. It also tells me some things that are or could be down right damaging to me or others as well as stupid or just plain wrong. I can and do ignore some of my self-talk and in some cases, I want to get rid of some of it. With some effort and time, I actually can get some of it to stop or reduced significantly. Here are some methods that have been found useful:

· Probably the most tried and true method to stop thoughts is called verbal interruption. You literally say to yourself “stop”. You can say it to yourself silently or if you are alone you can say it aloud. Say it with some emotional feeling like Stop! This is my favorite method for any unwanted thoughts. It has definitely worked for me.


· Another method is to put a rubber band around you wrist. Then every time you catch the self-talk happening say, “Stop! And you pull the rubber band and snap it back on to your wrist as you say “Stop!. It will sting of course. This is sending a painful message to your brain to stop this self-talk. This is an enhanced method of the one above. I have not used it on myself and it has worked for others. You might start the “without a rubber band” method above and if that is not working for you well enough add the “with a rubber band” method.


· Another method, which is my second most favorite method that has worked for me, is to give myself some positive self-talk when the unwanted thought comes around. When the unwanted thoughts come up in my self-talk like thinking about my T, I say to myself when I first notice they are happening something like this: “Good job Henry. You caught this unwanted self-talk instead of listening to it. Thanks for doing that. I appreciate you self-talk for telling me things that are helpful to me and this particular thing I do not need to hear about any longer.” Now, you would just keep doing that repeatedly as long as it takes until the unwanted self-talk declines in frequency or stops. You can say it to yourself privately or aloud if desired.


· A technique used often in dealing with getting angry is to stop yourself and count from 1 to 10 slowly before you say anything to someone about the anger feeling. This technique can be used to with self-talk about your T when you catch your self-talk on that topic. You also might enhance the counting technique by counting by say an odd number like 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, 27, 30 that takes a bit more brain horsepower. Another way to “count” is just to repeat a string of random numbers like 16, 72, 46, 57, 104, etc. This is not one I have used and I have reason to believe it works for people.


· Now another way to deal with unwanted self-talk is distraction of some type each time they come up. Like turning on some music, work or exercise. Maybe just re-route your mind to an inspiring, pleasant or distracting thought instead like a past memory or experience that you have had or one that you will have in the near future or even a loved one.


· This particular method is one that could be adapted to the tinnitus situation that is used with people who have anxiety or worrying thoughts they really do not want. When the unwanted self-talk comes up and is noticed one says to oneself or aloud something like OK, I hear you now and now is not the time to think about these things. I have scheduled X minutes each day (or week or whatever time interval you want to set) at X time to think about tinnitus and I will think about it then so not now. This is a variation on the verbal interruption method that is the first one above. It does violate the “don’t think about T rule” as you will think about it at the designated time you set however, this probably would be a vast improvement over what is happening now. Once you have reduced it some, you could then move to the regular interruption method in the first one above.

OK, there you go. One or more of these should be helpful I figure. As the Buddhist’s say “May you be well. May you be happy. May you be free from suffering.”

 

There are two things here 1) Thinking, and 2) Listening.

Thinking. This is a classical question of how to not think about something. Internet has some tricks for this
https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Thinking-of-Something-or-Someone
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ess/201004/yes-you-can-stop-thinking-about-it
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...o-when-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-something

Listening. I can to some degree stop thinking about and analyzing T. Or at least think about it with acceptance instead of a threat. It is harder to stop listening. How to make tinnitus like any background noise. For example, in our environment there is always background noise we do not pay attention to. Air Condition, Ventilation, Traffic, Wind Blowing, Ticking Clocks. I think this technique suggest that achieving this is possible. And when we no longer think and feel T as a threat this should happen as summarized by this excellent post by Silvine in this thread.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/page-3#post-93043

Still any tricks for this listening part? I pay you with likes .

 

Ah, all good stuff! OK, so on how to stop listening to the tinnitus sound(s) at all seems to be what you are looking to achieve. In my experience, I have never, since the beginning of my tinnitus, totally never heard the tinnitus at least at times. I have always heard the tinnitus at least once over a maybe two or three days and then what I do is say to myself "I hear my tinnitus and I am feeling X (whatever the feeling is at the time)." Many times in the now about 8 or 9 years I have had my tinnitus I have had spikes usually due to loud sounds like doing an MRI that took a few days to settle down to "normal" for me and yes, I just used the method then as well. Most days I hear the sound at least once or maybe two or three times during the day. Almost always I hear it upon going to bed (I do use a white noise machine on all night).

 

To me that would be a good as cured. I hope to be there some day. This morning I actually had to search my T and it took a couple of seconds before I found it. This is good progress for me and gives confidence that this sound can be made as meaningless as any background noise.

I have never needed a noise machine nor has T caused major sleeping problems. I have had sleeping issues for other reasons. So for sleeping I simply listen my own breathing, count the breaths and think about my mantra "be one with the mattress". I use Ocean / Ujjayi breathing to increase the volume of my breaths. It is like an internal noise machine that is always available.

 

I am really struggling again at the moment. Mine just seems to get worse and worse, and I don't know what I'm doing to cause it. I was in a very dark place last summer and I worry that I'll go back there if it worsens much more.

Anyway, enough moaning. Thank you everyone for the "not thinking" tricks. I will keep trying!

As for not listening, I think it's a natural consequence of not thinking mixed with not caring. I plan to focus on not thinking and not caring, and I believe that not hearing/listening will follow. It makes sense. When something is unimportant to you you tune it out.

The other day I was listening to Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits in the car. I love that song. Every lyric is so perfectly crafted. I have vivid memories even now of kissing my first boyfriend to it. For some time after we broke up I would get all weepy when I heard it. So yeah, a sound with great emotional significance, one that I was primed to give my full attention to. But I've listened to it so many times now. The other day it came on, I thought "yay this song!" A few seconds later I had got lost in my thoughts and forgot to listen to it. Halfway through the song I realised I'd missed most of the lyrics.

The point of this story being that it's human nature to tune things out as background noise. Even when they seemed really significant at first, eventually that significance fades.

I hope this happens for us all with our T!!

 

My favorite Dire Straits song is probably their biggest hit of Money for Nothing. Sorry to hear things are not going so well for you. I question you are doing anything to cause things to get worse. There may be more you can do that you have not tried as yet. I suggest you look into this option from the American Tinnitus Association (ATA) since a lot of things I learned from therapy helped me a lot to get to habituation not just the Back to Silence method.

I am a member of the American Tinnitus Association(ATA). They have a podcast with a psychologist who has Tinnitus and specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for those with Tinnitus. You can hear the podcast here:

https://www.ata.org/podcasts/episode-10-habituation-tinnitus-using-cognitive-behavioral-therapy

In this podcast, he tells you what he thinks you need to know about CBT. He also has a lot of free resources for those with Tinnitus on his website here:

https://www.cbtfortinnitus.com/cbt-for-tinnitus-resources

He says many people can complete CBT for Tinnitus in as little as 2 to 10 sessions with someone who is trained in CBT for Tinnitus but unfortunately, most therapists are not adequately trained in CBT and don't know anything about Tinnitus.

On his resource page, he has a 90-minute webinar, a mindfulness meditation audio, recommendations for self-help books (he is working on one of his own) and other key self-help information to give it a go for yourself. He does offer coaching on dealing with Tinnitus as well should you need/want that. I suggest you give it a listen and look.

Hope this helps.