Deciding Whether to Have Children

No kids. I'm gay. That said, I won't contribute to the overpopulation virus. Humanity is rather dissapointing. Why bother sustaining it? lol

 

Please remember tinnitus comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. When tinnitus is severe it can be seriously debilitating. Unless you have experienced tinnitus in this way you can never understand. The sobering truth is, people have commited suicide because they cannot cope with the cacophony of noise within their head and ears.
Michael

 

Like the pro-kid side seems to be doing so well here?

Seriously though it's my personal opinion but I just do not see the appeal of kids. People can have them but I don't understand why. I remember growing up when my parents told me that kids were very annoying and no amount of money could pay to make up for it. The only thing that could make up for it is if their kids have kids and go through it themselves. I know most people don't think like this but the fact that the only thing that could drive people to take care of kids is for future spite does not make me want them more...

 

It seems when everything is running smoothly and going our way we are grateful for life but when faced with situations which seem challenging and difficult to surmount we view our life as being cursed. When one thinks of all the beautiful and positive experiences which may one day present and of the infinite possibilities for happiness if one is willing to seek it out, I would say it is most certainly worth living. I have seen "real life" TV medical shows illustrating many people with a wide variety of horribly disabling/disfiguring conditions and yet, even though they struggle each and every day with infirmity, they still are grateful for life and strive to find meaning.

Yes, it is true we were thrust from the womb without our permission but then it becomes our mission to find what we need in life which will bring us enrichment and contentment. Our parents meant well so let's not blame them for our birth.

 

Not an argument.

 

That's sad that your parents were of that opinion and expressed it even. I know several people with children and they say they have been a complete blessing and brings them joy almost every day, despite that they can be really demanding at times.

 

But is your side respecting the fact that my side feel differently? Also, are you taking into account that your child might agree with my side?

 

Yes that's just my personal experience with it. One of my main reasons for me personally by far is genetics. I lost the genetic lottery pretty badly. I have Asperger's syndrome and I wouldn't want that in the gene pool. The truth is if someone's has a big genetic defect; they should not be injecting it into the gene pool, at least until there's better genetic selection for fetuses in the future. If I wanted a kid I would adopt.

Of course I probably feel that way because I just don't want a kid. If I did I probably wouldn't.

 

Shame on you Rubenslash I thought you of all people would know better. Very dissapointed.
You must feel so proud.
Michael

 

Yes, and yes.

That does not make me feel differently about having a child. Even though I have suffered a great deal in life I am still grateful that I have been given one.

 

With respect @TheDanishGirl 9 out of 10 parents say that about their kids but the inside story is a lot different I assure you. You live with those kids and it's an entirely different matter. All power to people that want kids I salute them I wouldn't want one for all the tea in China for the reasons I've mentioned. Can't stand ill manners and disrespect. Even if you try bringing them up well it's just for a time until they turn on you. Sorry to sound so sobering.

Michael

 

The off chance that the child can serve as an organ donor?

People who do it to have a posterity and to leave their mark on the world, ought to realize that by the 10th generation (only 250 years from now) their DNA contribution will amount to 1/2^10, which is tiny.

 

I ended up being very close to my mom. My values are her values.

I guess if one were to home school one's kids (I wasn't home schooled, unfortunately), one would have a higher chance of having great kids.

 

threefirefour said: ↑
People can have them but I don't understand why.

Yikes!!!

 

To quote Louis C.K., "I am the opposite of a pedophile - I hate kids."

 

I realise where you are coming from Bill. It is society and what so called rights that government have given to kids that prevents parents from having any control over them. Things never used to be this way. Everything has been turned upside down and it's wrong.

Michael

 

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. It is good to see that I am not the only one who is noticing (and who is bothered by) these alarming developments.

 

Maybe all the people who have successfully had kids aren't posting because they're cosied up on the sofa, relaxing after a busy but fulfilling day with their adorable happy children? Or doing laundry, more likely...

 

Yep... very sad and I have to agree with you on that note. Unfortunately, many of the children these days are disrespectful and will curse at the drop of a hat. I think that while many of the parents today very much want to see their children as well behaved and respectful, there are others who have very low moral values themselves and don't instill positive reinforcement in their kids. My husband who is a retired teacher had witnessed both ends of the spectrum. Of course too, you can have good and decent parents and their children can go their own way and gravitate toward negative behavior. ~~ and yes... at times government has too much input.

 

Do you personally have children? If you do, your inside story may be different but do not assume it's that way for all parents. If you do not have children, you're making an awful lot of assumptions.

And not every child is ill mannered, disrespectful and turns on their parents. Did you turn on yours? I have yet to turn on mine. Trying to think of anyone I know whose children "turned on them" and I'm drawing a complete blank. Now there are some families that are not very close, but I do not necessarily think all of the blame lies on the children. Some people are not great parents.

And obviously, some people should not be parents.

 

Understand this now. I do not wish to correspond with you and would appreciate it if you do the same to me.
Thank you.
Michael

 

Who is more relaxed, a person tethered to a ball and chain, or a free person leading a life without compromises?

 

It seems to be a common sentiment: "I don't want to be like my parents", "The horror - I am turning into my dad!", etc.

 

Ahhh... the people who want very much to have children for the correct reasons can be both relaxed and happy! Did your parents consider you a ball and chain? I very much doubt it.

 

lol...Bill It is the second time that you have mentioned the ball and chain since I've got to know you and it always makes me smile. Thank you for that...

 

My father was a policeman, highly moral and respected. My mother was a wonderful housewife - both decent, caring and devoted to their children. I would not mind being compared to either. Also... I think they did a fairly decent job raising me.... but.. (( ahem )).... that's just my own opinion. **smile**

 

Only my mom is currently alive for me to ask her this question. She claims that she hasn't. But clearly I had consumed resources (time and money) that could have been put to other uses providing direct benefit to her (instead of an indirect benefit where she enjoyed the fact that she did something nice for me).

I would certainly not be able to distinguish between a child and a parasite. A child is terrifying - a huge (size-wise) parasite that keeps growing, and that feeds on the most precious thing you have - your time.

 

It is plainly obvious Barbara, Bill was well brought up in an era where parents could have control over their kids not like today. After they reach 13 many of them are full of cheek, rude and disrespectful. I'm not saying all but a good majority. All this is down to society and the governments taking away parents control over their children.
Michael

 

You are far too modest Barbara. If I may say so your parents done an excellent job raising you and this is clear for everyone to see..

 

I used to groan when I'd say something like my parents, now I'm actually pleased to be like them. Ha, maybe that's part of me getting older!