Before withdrawal?
I'm trying to figure out how likely it is that benzos have been making my hyperacusis worse over the past four months, and whether withdrawal might eventually make it better if I can get through, or if I can only expect worsening. I continue to get worse constantly and I'm not sure why (well there's been multiple noise exposures, med trials, an IV antibiotics course... but I've never experienced "improvement" at any time, only slow worsening at all times), but need to get off the Ativan after four months and will be tapering soon. I'm hoping it's been contributing to my inability to improve just like I'm hoping it's been the reason for so many of my developing symptoms like spasms, brain fog, motion/light sensitivity, etc.
Otherwise I'm just pretty sure withdrawal is going to literally kill me, or force me to kill myself when life becomes too intolerable. I read the stories over on BenzoBuddies and it really doesn't seem like I can survive anything close to that with how bad I already am.
Also, if I seem to just be getting steadily worse in response to even rest and quiet with only exposure to daily household sounds, should I try attempting sound therapy and sound enrichment instead? See if exposure ends up desensitizing? I'm worried I'll just make myself worse. I bought some decent quality speakers so hopefully sound through them feels like grating than through my laptop speakers... I just don't know what to do or try at this point, things are so so bad after four months, they were so mild at first. Maybe I should just try Keppra instead of killing myself and pray it helps.
I'm trying to figure out how likely it is that benzos have been making my hyperacusis worse over the past four months, and whether withdrawal might eventually make it better if I can get through, or if I can only expect worsening. I continue to get worse constantly and I'm not sure why (well there's been multiple noise exposures, med trials, an IV antibiotics course... but I've never experienced "improvement" at any time, only slow worsening at all times), but need to get off the Ativan after four months and will be tapering soon. I'm hoping it's been contributing to my inability to improve just like I'm hoping it's been the reason for so many of my developing symptoms like spasms, brain fog, motion/light sensitivity, etc.
Otherwise I'm just pretty sure withdrawal is going to literally kill me, or force me to kill myself when life becomes too intolerable. I read the stories over on BenzoBuddies and it really doesn't seem like I can survive anything close to that with how bad I already am.
Also, if I seem to just be getting steadily worse in response to even rest and quiet with only exposure to daily household sounds, should I try attempting sound therapy and sound enrichment instead? See if exposure ends up desensitizing? I'm worried I'll just make myself worse. I bought some decent quality speakers so hopefully sound through them feels like grating than through my laptop speakers... I just don't know what to do or try at this point, things are so so bad after four months, they were so mild at first. Maybe I should just try Keppra instead of killing myself and pray it helps.
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