Do You Always Check If Tinnitus Is There When You Wake Up?

Can you ever get rid of the first though in the morning:
"T, Are you there?"

After 7 months of dealing with T, every time I wake up I check if I might get lucky and T is gone.
Once I realize it is still there the though comes to mind:
"This will never go away, what a life"

Next, I say:
"T is harmless, you will be fine, it will soon go away and you will be great"

I sleep well with T, but I am in the loop of above thoughts. I did not have a day that I would not think like that.
I feel like I am doomed for the rest of my life and cannot get over accepting the fact that I wont be able to fix it.
I am fighter, and I want to fight it and win with it and some day I want to wake up and dont have the "T" thoughts, but it all seems outside my range.

It is amazing that I can sleep and live just fine, but I still feel like I am possessed by this "T" thing.
7 months and I did not have one day that I would not think about it, no matter how busy and distracted I was, there was always time for a "T" thought.

Do you do the same?

 

I do exactly the same thing ...Lately tho I have been going few hours through the day when I'm at work where I get distracted and my focus turns away from T and I don't realize its there then something tells me to check and ....yup T is there and now I'm back focusing on it and it sux again....So freaking weird hate this $hit.

 

I do exactly the same thing ... my life has changed completely

 

I listen to rain sounds when I sleep and when I wake up, my T is typically low, but still there. But since I listen to the rain sounds, I don't notice the T until I leave the room and go to the shower, which again blocks the T nicely. So no, that's not the very first thought that comes to my mind.

 

I wish I had to look for it. My T is blasting so loud my head feels like it's going to explode (all the time-day and night) The more I read about people's tinnitus here at TT the more I feel alone in this.

I wonder if living with this type of tinnitus is even managable at all or if most people would just loose their minds instantly.

 

I don't check for T in the morning, T checks for me... Oh, you're awake? EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

@Telis
No, you are not alone. I don't have to search for my T.
It is audible wherever I am.
Nevertheless, I try to live my life (with anxiety and depression).
I know that you are much more limited (with pain and H). But don't give up. It can become better.

Last week, I had some hours where one of my head tones seemed stopping and my "rest T" was covered by talking. It lasted only three hours. Next day it was there again full force.

@bwspot
Some days ago I woke up and it seemed quiet in my head (maybe this part of the brain was already sleeping).
My brain searched for T like crazy and after some seconds, it found it (could not avoid it).

There is only one way getting this solved - Not reacting, getting used to it, habituating. Much more difficult, maybe impossible, for loud T. :-( We will see.

Remember Billie48, who has a dentist drill in his head and is unaware of it most of the time.

 

You've read my Back To Silence posts. Since I started doing that, I automatically quit checking it when I wake up. As a matter of fact, It's lunchtime and I haven't checked it all morning, that means I haven't heard it. I guess I'm rewired now.

 

I do exactly the same every morning, and I have T for 8 month's now.

My T is different every day. Copple of days very loud, then sometimes two days mild, and also one day a week completely quiet, 100% silence. Absurd, because there is no reason (stress/no stress, food, sleep, all of that does not have effect on T).

Also there has not been one day since 8 month's, that I could not think of it.
But I do think that is very normal.
Imagine, I have been spending my life for 49 years without sounds in my head.
I've always loved silence and I always said "silence is the most beautiful sound".... I even moved, went away from the big city, and bought a house in a beautiful silence little place....

So my brain has enjoyed 49 years of silence, and now... since 8 month's there are sounds in my head
(EEEEEEE and SSSHHHH and TJJ TJJ TJJ (morse-code).
So..... is it crazy that I think every day about my T? No, it is not. It is so new, and my life completely changed due this.

So I give it time, and trust that maybe within a few years I will think of my T less and less.
The longest time I did not think of it, was I guess like twenty minutes. But that was on a low T-day.

I remember, 6 month's after the onset, that there was one minut I didn't think of T.... I walked to the kitchen and walked back and I thought "HUH???? I was not aware of the T !!!", I was so happy with a minute like that. It gave me trust that one minut will be ten minutes, and ten minutes will be half an hour... and so on....

Sorry for my bad English,
I wish you all a very happy new year, on our way to habituation

Gabriëlle

 

Hey Tellis a pits of day here ,anxiety up ,all 3 bad since got up ,not dropped off at all ,and I've been practising Back to silence ,not working today ,no way .Evenings is when I ignore it the most ,hence I don't go to bed until around 2am .My nights seem now to turn into my days .How it is ,just trying to work around it ,my ears are so loud both ,so seems this is in for the day .Sat here cursing it as we all do .husbands is low just asked him .
I don't look for it ,some days like today it finds me .Maybe it's ticked off I don't look for it ?who knows ?
You do have it really tough ,I hate this balance problem ,yes that can grab at me ,but in still try my best to ignore the T along with it .Far from easy .end of day it's all head connected .X

 

Hi @bwspot, I would definitely re-read I who love music's post - I think he has a good dialogue to switch to.

That said, 7 months isn't even all that long, even though it feels like a lifetime with T. I was still checking my T every morning 7 months in. I'm getting closer to two years now, and though I hear it in the morning, it's almost never the first thing I notice of think of, even when it's louder than normal.

Two days ago I took a long-haul flight and it took my left ear two days to fully "pop" - so the T was pretty obnoxious, probably irked by the pressure changes and loud because it was like my ear was plugged. Even then it wasn't the first thing I thought of in the morning and didn't cause me any anxiety, which was actually kind of interesting to me.

Of course, we are not the same person and everyone's T is a little different, but there is definitely hope for you, but I would change the dialogue.

I think it's good to engage in a dialogue that you can sign up for - if you do find your T in the morning, try something else. "There is my T, I feel ______ today." Maybe also try to find something good about the morning, "There is my T, I feel _____ today and isn't it nice how the wind is blowing in the trees/how soft my sheets are etc." Then try something like, "this will either go away, or I will habituate as many others have, either way, I will get better with time."

That leaves some room for happiness regardless of a cure. Skip over the "oh what a life" part - life is always changing. You will not be miserable forever. I also think calming yoga and breathing exercises are extremely helpful, they were to me in the beginning. They calmed my brain and centered my attention on something good. Really just give it a shot and see if it helps you at all.

 

You are not alone, my tinnitus is so loud it finds me instantly! At the very moment in time, it's screeching for England!

 

Hey @Telis I kno benzo's are a slippery slope but ever since my doc suggested Klonopin .5 tab every nite altho I take it every other nite my T seems allot more manageable other then Remeron that's the only thing I take and not sure if its a coincidence or not but my T seems more manageable now ....then again its only been a week....Hope I'm not headed into a bigger fall with the use of benzo's

 

I don't believe a person can be unaware of the type of T I have. It's something different, that or they are super human. I'm in pain 24 7, non functional most the time. I had normal loud T to begin with before i did additional damage, I know the difference. There is annoying loud T and there is catastrophic painfully loud T that makes you want to end it all every second of your exsistance.

 

Yeah I don't know, I have very little anxiety and can sleep well. Maybe a pain killer would be better...my ears and brain hurt 24 7. I don't know if this is phantom pain or what. It's like someone is digging in my ears and brain with a sound pick.

 

Nobody who has the type of tinnitus that you have believes a person can become unaware of it ... until he or she begins to become unaware of it.

I wish you well in the coming year, @Telis. Just because I so totally reject your assertion does not change that fact.

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

I wish we could say this for certain but the fact is that nobody can know what my tinnitus is like. It is impossible to determine if it is humanly possible to become unaware of it or not.

 

To be honest, if i had to check for my T i don´t think i would hang around in here anymore. T is always present so no need to check for it.

 

Hello Stephen,
I hope you are right. I don't have the impression I am becoming unaware of my T, but I sometimes say that this noise will not destroy my life and the life of my family. But it takes a strong will and much persistence. Every day.

May I ask a question and sorry if I maybe already asked in the past. At least this is unclear to me.

It is regarding sound enrichment (with headsets). I have the impression, white noise does not really help me. Blue noise a little bit better, since higher pitched. Best help crickets since they mix up with my 15 kHz.

My questions from your TRT perspective:
- Do you recommend listening to sounds even in the night although you can sleep in silence? So would you recommend even having a headset on in the night giving the brain input? My wife would not be really happy about a water fountain.
- Besides the night do you recommend listening the complete waking time to something (again blue noise, music, whatever)? Because oftentimes it is of course annoying always having some kind of sound running. Who can listen to bird sounds, ocean waves etc. the whole time. But maybe it would be better doing that.

So I would like to understand what TRT recommends here.
Thank you in advance for your answers. If needed, I can also ask in Doctors corner.

And thanks for helping us here.

 

My friend, if you are looking for certainty, proofs, and absolutes ... then you have chosen the wrong affliction.

All I am saying is that every week I encounter individuals who are convinced that their tinnitus is so incredibly bad that they cannot possibly habituate it ... until they do. I was one of them myself.

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

I'd prefer not to turn this into a TRT discussion.

There are many strategies to get from A to B.

And insisting that your case to so incredibly bad that no strategy in the world can possibly be effective for you ... accomplishes nothing.

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

I was really asking in a polite way. I never made any negative comment to you.
And I did not insist my case is so incredibly bad.
But thanks for your time and giving me the impression I am lost.

 

That must be a nightmare, my T would be considered moderate at most and I have major problems with sleep (staying asleep that is, not falling asleep) but can ignore it mostly during the day, if I had that level of t I would be in pieces, no doubt

 

I have been incredibly supportive of you on two different sites, Martin, ever since you first hit the boards. I have gone out of my way to research a number of things for you and have told you exactly what I would do were I in your shoes. I do not wish to discuss TRT in this thread. If you have a problem with that, I am very sorry.

If I thought you were a lost cause, then I wouldn't give you the time of day, which is clearly not the case. If you have the impression that you are a lost cause, then I respectfully suggest you do something to change it.

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

About 6 weeks ago, i realized that for once, not only had i not thought about my t as soon as i woke up, but that i had gone almost 2 hours without thinking about it.
My t is really loud, yet now i have days when i can have 3,4 or even 5 hours in the morning before i think about it.
Well maybe 5 is an exaggeration, but you get my point.
I'm sure with time this will extend. And i'm sure you'll go through the same thing too. Just takes time.

 

Hey Telis, I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. I have to ask though, why continue to tell yourself that you believe you're too bad to get better?

You don't have to prove anything to me, or anyone here, but there is the chance you could one day become unaware (in the sense of a comfortable habituation.) You are more powerful than you know.

I hope you give yourself the chance to believe it's possible.

 

I only wish I didn't check in with my T when it hits.

That's the problem with just qualifying it as just tinnitus.
There are levels that defy standard descriptions. My doctors don't understand it except for the tears that I've cried in their offices.

I didn't know till my mild T went haywire.

Protect your ears and stay away from ototoxic drugs.

I do wish you relief and habituation.

 

Well, as @OddV so cleverly said: I don't have to check for it. It checks for me. Every morning.

Having said that: I don't think "Oh, I am starting another day with tinnitus" any more. I assume it will be there and don't care. However, I have started listening to masking noise while I have my coffee and read (in my case, my Neuronomics device, but anything would work, I bet). By the time I finish my cup and take my shower (more masking! Yay!) my tinnitus usually has quieted down.

 

At first I was checking every morning but very soon realised it's just another futile exercise which we all did wishing it wouldn't be there. So I quit doing it! It's better to either accept it's going to be there every morning for a verrry long time or find the cause for it and get that fixed. It doesn't help whether you listen out for it or not. It only makes it worse.

I think we can all relate to that experience. Even when you're not thinking about it, you're thinking about. I cannot shake that part yet either. i said somewhere to me it feels like I'm living in an electrical substation in my own brain. All activities I do go on inside that space always all day long. It's that draining tiredness that kind of shadows everything I do even when I'm doing stuff I really like being with my gf and so on. Difficult to explain to anyone on the outside.

 

I know your tinnitus is redicolously loud, but how loud is it? What would you compare it to?