Does the Energy Come Back?

I am exhausted, I mean totally exhausted. I have had T for 7 months. Went from full of energy and zest for life, to someone that has a hard time doing the simplest of things. Even picking up after myself is a challenge. I try and hide being tired from people as I look lazy.

I had a fast pace on the go career which is now done because of T. I pace the house, go for walks with my dog when I can. Everything else seems tough. I was going out with friends here and there at the start, now I find it just kills me.

This thing is sucking the life out of me as time goes on. The screeching noise hurts my head, I battle it every second .

Anyone have this total lack of energy and have it come back?

 

Telis, don't fight against it.
You cannot win. It is part of you, like my T is part of me.
I know how hard this is. I also still struggle. But things will get better.
Do you have someone in your family who can speak with?
Once you cope with T, you will continue your career.
There are many who got used to T.
So we will.

 

Im having a tough time, my family doesn't want to hear about it so I hide it. If I talk about it, I just get a look like I'm crazy. Or I'm being negative. Or maybe you're being dramatic. Or go to the doctor if it's bothering you. This is the response I get. I'm sure I'm not the only one here, this is a isolating condition. There aren't really people that get it unless they have it. And even some people that have it to a lesser degree really don't understand it. Fuck this condition. My life is not my life anymore. Just like that, I'm some poor sucker that can barely get through the day.

Don't even have the energy to take my girl out for dinner, or try and pretend like I'm watching a movie with her. I tell her I'm busy or have the flu, anything but my T is getting me down. She doesn't want to hear it either, everyone is sick of it including me. I keep getting told that I need to move on now, enough is enough!

Sorry about being negative, I'm a strong person but this thing is giving me a beat down. I question most days if this is a life I want to live for the next 40 years. That's a hell of a long time to hear this unbearable noise.

 

Dear Telis,

the answer to your question is YES. The energy can come back. But for that, you have to take the matter seriously and enter an "acceptance" mode.

Currently, the T is taking a lot of your attention and energy. This tires the mind. Depression also. You need to get out of this vicious cycle.

I remember when T first started in 2007, I couldn't sleep. I had an infant baby and I couldn't take care of her. I didn't do anything, didn't eat and felt depressed all the time. I understand very well where you're coming from.

You are the most important person in your life. You have to take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well, exercise... yes those are good points. But you also need to do things that you like, despite T. Have an evening out with friends or your spouse if you have one, go shopping, and indulge.

What makes you happy? Identify things that you enjoy in general and do them.

Paying attention to T sucks. I know it's hard but try to consciously defocus from it. If you hear it, ok fine, go back to whatever you were doing and tell yourself SCREW T.

I mentionned before that I work in a call center. I wear a headset. In my headset, my T can always be heard because of the ventilation system which is on the same frequency. Despite that, I have been able to work for hours without paying any attention to it. If I focus on my work, the conversations I have with the customers or my coworkers, I can work and enjoy a normal day even if T is there. But before I reached that point, it took me a few weeks and I had to consciously avoid listening to my T.

When you enter a new cycle, the cycle where you start paying less and less attention to T and more attention to the rest of your life, you may notice that things are getting better and that the T just fades in the background. This worked for me as well as accepting that T is permanent.

T filled 90% of my life 2 months ago and now, it's more like 10%. As I have entered this new positive cycle, my T has been decreasing in volume (well maybe this is the way I perceive it because at night, it seems to be the same) and I've recovered most of my energy. I feel like myself again and you can to.

Hugs

 

Also @Telis... why are you fighting something that you can't change? The best way to fight it is to pay as little attention to it as possible.

 

That is my fight...trying get on with things and putting this in the background.

 

@Telis, that is great...at the beginning, of course, it's hard but as time passes, it will become easier...

My thoughts are with you.

 

That's poetry right there.

 

Its a very slow process Telis, at least for me, I have severe depression on top of everything else, so I have been a basket case, but baby steps.

 

I made my T go away in a few weeks. The first things I noticed as I 'came back' were energy and calmness.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/

 

@I who love music

How do you apply your technique to ever changing tinnitus?

 

I apply the technique to my response to my tinnitus.
I was so worn out from years of listening to it. Now I don't hear it, unless I want to. Well once in a while, once every few days I hear it and that's when I measure my response. I'm done measuring my T. Actually my ever changing T has settled down to a steady sound now that I don't hear most of the time. This is an amazing technique.

 

What do you mean by technique of response to my tinnitus?

 

"Anyone have this total lack of energy and have it come back?"

Yes, absolutelly!

 

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/

 

when i find the power lead to my laptop i intend on elaborating on this in a seperate thread.
I was very low both in spirit and energy before i got tinnitus. The tinnitus only made things worse. I was depressed about the t for about a month. while researching tinnitus online i realized it's probably not going to leave. And one day, while still feeling depressed about it, i decided to lie to myself. I figured i only have one option. And that option is to live the best i can with it. So from that day on i lied and told myself the tinnitus isn't bothering me so much, and that i can cope with it fine. I carried on doing the things i loved, even though i was enjoying them less.
After a week or so things did start improving. For real. Apart from the odd wobble i've never looked back. I have honestly kept dealing with it better. Now i often get a few hours a few times a day, where i don't hear it at all.
And mine is a loud constant screech. Louder than everything.
Talking about it probably wont help much. It's a very isolating problem, as no one else can see it or hear it.
So you need to deal with it on your own. Drag yourself up and start lying to yourself. Tell yourself, and everyone else around you that you are coping with it a lot better. Pretend your fine, and after a while i'm sure it will become a reality.
I'm sure about one thing. Moping around, boring people with your problem and wishing it away will do nothing.
So start dealing with it head on. Start lying and stay strong.

 

You measure your response, not your tinnitus. And the tinnitus seams to disappear. I didn't invent it, I just do it.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/back-to-silence.7172/

 

Brilliant post, fake it till you make it then (eventually) you're not faking anymore. You're not actually lying to yourself, you're deciding whats true and resetting your mind accordingly.

 

Can you please explain how does:
I hear you and in scared! actually work to change your subconscious mind?
Isn't that a negative feed?

 

I quit measuring my tinnitus. I quit saying, "I hear it, it's louder today." Etc....
I started measuring my response instead. "I hear it, I'm worried today."

I measure the emotion - not the T.

That's it.
It changed my life. I go all day and now actually hear my tinnitus 0 - 2 times a day. I used to hear it 40 - 50 times a day.
But if you're going to ask how this can or can't work, doubt it, or worse, check in on your T and measure it, you're doomed.
This isn't a trick, or positive thinking etc... This is a way to form new pathways in your brain. When you find yourself responding to your feelings less and less, you'll also notice you're hearing your T less and less. But if you are constantly checking on your T to see if it's louder or quieter, this won't work.
By using this technique, you'll soon notice you feel good. You'll feel happy and energetic, and you'll know it's because you're not listening to your T anymore and measuring it. You'll be listening to yourself describe your feelings about it instead - and that is not fatiguing or irritating, or fearsome. Soon, like me, you'll be amazed and find it difficult to describe the torment you had but the relief you'll then feel. I don't know how it works but it works for me. My T started in 1974 and I've tried a lot of cures, but this is without a doubt my real cure.
Good luck.

 

I'm going to take another stab at your question.

I don't exactly why this works, but I'll try to explain why I think it works.
Before I discovered this technique I had a belief there was something I could do, or something I could eat, or something I could listen to that would make my tinnitus go away. I knew deep down that it was never going to go away. I've had it over 40 years. I know darn well my inner ears are damaged. I know exactly what I did to cause tinnitus. It was loud music.

Maybe just before I discovered this great technique, I admitted this to myself. I don't remember. Maybe that was the first step. But upon first reading about this technique I was excited that it could work. I never had tried dealing with my T head on like this. I spent years trying things and running from T, and worrying about it.
I think by telling myself how I feel when the T bothers me actually deflates the T. Again, I don't know how. At first, this was harder than it sounds. I felt the old habit of tinnitus measurement pulling on me. Maybe I simply formed a new habit. Or should I say, "Forced" a new habit?

Also worth mentioning is that I don't believe in magic, or hocus pocus, or miracle cures, or wishing, or simply having a positive outlook, or any of that stuff. I'm open to medical cures, acupressure, chiropractic, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Maybe this technique falls under the category of the latter.

Today I truly went all day until about 7 pm. At that time, I said to myself, "I hear it, it's boring me." That's how I responded to it today. I may or may not hear my T tomorrow. But I know this, I'll get up tomorrow morning and not have to measure my response first thing in the morning and that's a nice feeling. And I'll go about my business without T weighing on my mind. If I hear it, I'll tell myself how I feel about it and get on with my business.
Some people have said it's habituation. Some people say it's a new habit, or that I've stopped obsessing about it. Whatever it is, it's powerful, and it worked faster and better than I had hoped.

 

Great post. The cognitive mechanics you're describing ties in with one of the hot topics in theory of consciousness research, namely "global workspace theory".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Workspace_Theory.

The conscious mind has to deal with a host of signals from the unconscious mind every second of the day.

Think of your conscious mind as being an enormous cave in pitch blackness. The cave is your global workspace.
Inside the cave is you; or to put it more simply your attention. The "you" carries a flashlight and constantly sweeps it across the cave illuminating all these signals one by one as they're in little alcoves like you see in crypts in horror movies.

Some of the alcoves have little doors on them that you have to open to see what's inside: they're your memories.

The rest are filled with concurrent signals from your senses and unconscious mind. "whats in this alcove? ah yes that's the signal from my olfactory system (a smell) . "What's in this one? ah yes the the sensation of my forearm on the table" As the flashlight sweeps across the cave it illuminates alcove after alcove as you direct it across the walls of the cave.

So; you're in a dark cave. Your looking in the alcoves, then all of a sudden...you hear a noise! What's the first thing you do?

Exactly.

You swing your flashlight (attention) around straight away to find out what the hell it is. The noise is the emotion your limbic brain ascribes to the signals in your alcoves. The bigger the emotion the louder the noise, the louder the noise the more attention you give it. It's your minds way of making you pay attention to things which are important to you. That's what emotions do.

Suppose you're crossing the road in a busy city with lots of people? No big deal, lots of noises coming in from all around you, then all of a sudden...a car horn. Boom, the alcove emits a loud noise, you spin round to see what it is, see it's Dr Nagler trying to run you down for wearing a pro LLLT t shirt and straight away you leap out of the way of his Ferrari and you're saved. Relief!!!

The car horn was just another sound in the background, but....you paid attention to it as you're unconscious mind recognised it as being dangerous and made you pay attention to it.

Now T is a signal which sits in it's little alcove. How much emotional relevance would you want to give it if you didn't want to hear it? You see where I'm going with this...

Well we can't just flick a switch and turn it off, It's process which takes time (which is of course; Habituation.)

This is where IWLM's method comes in. Fortunately there is a feedback system from the conscious mind to the limbic system (which is why affirmations work) and IWLM's method uses this neural pathway to perform it's magic. Remember that these limbic system signals which attach to your sensory inputs are to attract your attention. Well, by acknowledging to your limbic brain that you're receiving the signal it's sending, and doing so in a "how you're feeling" about it way, then you're using the limbic systems own language to communicate with it; the language of emotion. You're saying "got you loud and clear; over and out" the limbic system has performed it's evolutionary remit and got a response from your conscious mind that the signal (you're T) has been examined and found to be a false alarm. The flashlight swing on to the next nosiest thing.

Wonderful thing the brain.

 

@Silvine Great example, I got! Light bulb is finally on, I got it!

 

@Silvine @I who love music
Thanks for all your explanation here. This is excellent support and in my opinion the only way out of this.
Unfortunately I haven't sorted it out for my T yet. It perfectly makes sense when T is a little bit lower and there is a way ignoring it. But if T is 15 kHz or higher, loud and oscillating in the head, my body/brain reacts automatically with tension. On the conscious level, I try ignoring it, living my life like I would without T. But I don't have to listen for T. It is unmaskable, maybe the shower can cover it sometimes. Each bite spikes it even more, each step when I am running spikes it. No way found yet convincing my limbic system that this is not a threat. What a sh..

 

@I who love music

What did your first day looked like when you started this technique?

Last night I was determent to start this morning. Upon waking loud t sent me straight away into a meltdown, fear, panic, anxiety....
There is no way I could have said: I hear you and I feel scared, or anxious or whatever.....
Fear of living like this forever comes as a tsunami, floods my life and desire to live

How did you stop the need to monitor?
All I ever think is t! It scares me to bits!

How do I come out of this black hole!
Thank you for taking time to respond, really appreciate it!

@Silvine
Thank you for your support as well, greatly appreciated even though I'm lost in this t maze

 

Valeri, you don't have to live like this forever, it's impossible. Since I first got T I have read every single scholarly article on it and it's treatment. Over the last 6 month I can't keep up, the amount of research now is absolutely enormous and the reason being whoever finds a cure will most likely make sums running into the Billions of dollars.

You need to disassociate from your T anxiety and listen to it as an independent observer as if it's happening to someone else. The "Tsunami" will ebb back into the sea.

The worst case of T I ever heard of was a roadie who fell asleep drugged up on top of a loudspeaker for three and a half hours. He woke up permanently deaf in his left ear and 95 decibel full frequency T. 95 decibels is the same as a car horn at 8 feet. He habituated.

 

Agree. At my worst, I was bedridden for days and days. I had anxiety and panic attack disorders for decades prior to T & H. These two alien beasts just opened up the floodgate of hell of relentless A & P attacks on auto mode the minute I woke up. A & P symptoms are not just about hearing a sound. There are tremendously unbearable sensations which really drained me mentally and physically. The tired and worn out mind with the stressed out body didn't want to do anything. Sleeplessness, depression, anxiety, panic, phobia, hurtful sensations, they all combined to turn me into a mess and I had to depend on meds to survive each day. It is quite normal for newer sufferers of intrusive T to have this condition of low energy and depressed mood. If you read Dr. Nagler's experience, you will find the same thing. You read those who wrote the success stories, the same misery in the beginning. Don't lose heart, Telis. The good days will be back. You just have to hang tough and let your body heal. As hard as it is, try to get out and live your life. Easy said than done. I know. I had to dare my T & H plus so much more to reclaim my life, a step at a time, an event at a time, not to say a day at a time. But don't give up hope. If you are better than your beginning days, then you know time is on your side to get better.

 

It's been 14 months and I haven't made a single step forward. Either my T is really bad or I'm a slow learner. Not a lack of effort. I try and go out and do things but putting in plugs is hell so I just stay in for the most part. Don't leave the house unless I have to. zapped of energy and sleep a lot. I can sleep, I guess this is a big bonus but getting through the day is tough. Hard when you don't want to get food ready as the noise is too much to bear, and you don't want to wear plugs becasue the T goes 10 fould. You kind of just sit there and do nothing, strange life for someone like me, I was really active and social. These days I don't even want my friends to contact me, I've just eliminated them all. Hanging out with them miserable with ear plugs in and T screaming is worse than just staying in. I'm hoping I can adapt to this strange sort of life. For now I have my booze and my calgary Flames. I will try and get through life with very little.

 

For me it is the opposite I got T & H and just when I got used to it I got Anxiety and Panicattacks. I guess I was walking on my toes the entire time. Because something went wrong at the dentist my body turned in panic mode or something and I got the weirdest symptoms all regarding to my mouth. If I thought T and H was bad....this is the top of the mountain how far it can go for me.

Today is my first day in therapy so I hope it will work. What I do experience is that it gets better very very very slowly. They said I now have a depression, anxiety disorder and S-OCD. That with my T and H it's a mouth full to deal with.
T & H I can handle now and I feel not that depressed anymore also after 2 months (without therapy). The thing that bothers me the most is the S-OCD but that is getting better also.
Like you said your body needs time to heal. My panic and anxiety attacks were there are day long. The doctor asked me how long they lasted ...so I said well just like T it never stops.

For now I have to stop working because I do not have the energy yet ....but I make progress every day.
Just when I thought it could not get any worse with T & H it did.....but I will not give up....I just cannot.

@Telis: I know things look bad now for you....but don't loose hope. I lost it for a period of a week and that realy got me down.... but now things are getting a little bit better. Hope gives me just enough energy to go through the day. Just like you I also do not see any friends anymore or return phonecalls. I will pick this up and call them back because you need friends. If people care for you it gives you energy.
Keep your chin up m8 !

 

@RicoS
I am sorry that things are difficult for you at the moment.
I hope your therapy works. Stay strong for your family. They need you.
All the best.