Im sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time.. I have those days too.. But im really trying to stay optimistic.. We have to! Try to see it as something that will pass one way or another and I truely believe it will.
Either by research and medicine, the body's own way of healing itself or by habituation.
I also have to admit that this is by far the hardest condition that I ever have endured, and still is to this day, but I also have to say that it has gotten a lot better the last months.
Sympoms I had in the beginning was distorted sounds, fleeting T, a T that is somewhat recative and being above all sounds, a constant hiss, headaches, weird clicks in my head, tight upper jaw, H, sensitivity to air pressure change, pain in my ears, a morse code type T, threshold shift for the smallest sound and probably a few more, but I have to say it again, it keeps getting better and I hope so bad that yours will as well!! Hopefully it will fade away in time.
So In the meanwhile we have to support eachother the best as we can
Do you have any idea what set your T off?
My Tinnitus, like so many others began from a Gunshot; or series of .380 gunshots in particular. It got so bad to the point at one time, if I touched paper or garbage bags, my ear would ring with the noise. I even started, in dire stupidity, hitting myself in the ear on multiple occasions just to get the Tinnitus to change tones. And as a result, I've probably only made it worse. At one point, my Tinnitus was so loud that I underwent constant panic attacks, so naturally, I felt if no one was going to help me and nothing else was, let's see if a concussion changes things. Incredible logic, right? Right as I was being adapted to the T, my right ear tube fell out, and since then, I've had incredibly loud ringing in my right ear, that changes to a hiss, and since that tube fell out, I've experienced this overall tinny, reactive ringing, minor hyperacuity like symptoms, except without the pain. Do I get pain? Every now and then, but it is nothing like the common stories you see associated with Hyperacusis; therefore, I am not convinced that it is what I am enduring. Now my right ear is hyper sensitive, and collections of noise is often garbled, but at the same time I can hear the garbled noise as clear noise. Almost as if I am hearing a muffled and clear version of the same noises. Makes a lot of fucking sense, I know right? And my family, my step dad who has tinnitus, don't get it. His is so minor, he doesn't even care that he has it, but he had an equilibrium change and started complaining to me about his sensitivity, and all I could say is "welcome to my world."
I know that was kind of cruel, but after so many times trying to get people to understand the torture I'm going through, you just want someone to take you seriously. Then sure enough, someone gets it, and then and only then do they truly feel sorrow for you. It's not like losing a limb where people immediately show pity and empathy. Only when the psychological pain seeps through the rigid cracks we have, do people show any level of consciousness to the issue.
My mom takes so many tylenol, and I continually warn her and she is already aware of the connection of ear ringing and NSAIDS, Aceto, etc, but she suffers from migraines and takes the risk. Her ears will ring and she says she gets it, but only when it never goes away, do you really get it. She's also a Nurse Practitioner, so she is far from ignorant in the field of medicine.
I went shooting one time, and i'm resigned to this fate. My brother on the other hand, shoots the same pistol I shot without ears all the time, no tinnitus, no longterm deafness, nothing. My step-dad shoots without ears as well and used an m-60 in Haiti, but he still blasts away with his Glock 9, cigarette in mouth, and unloads a full clip. And despite his low level Tinnitus he has, he seems unscathed and the so-called cumulative effect on Tinnitus seems non-existent for him.
So here I am, the one time mistake, and I am left to bear a never-closing wound that no one can see unless the tears roll from my ducts. Then and only then, do people ask me what's wrong.
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