Getting My Life Back ♥ Despite My Tinnitus Still Being Very Loud

So, I now celebrate my 6th year with noise induced tinnitus.

It´s insane how fast time flies by. I wrote a success story some years ago and I became really offended that people weren´t in the same boat as me cheering at my success. But as I read it again now, I see clearly that people were caring for me not to get my tinnitus worsened and I´m thankful that.

I will not ever try to wear earbuds. The risk is too high. They are a factor of me getting tinnitus in the first place. It´s not that big of a deal.

My story is that I very soon had to stop listening to music of any kind. Wherever I went, I had to mute. It was a real burden, I felt like a party-pooper. I had to lower the volume when watching movies whenever music was on, and in the end I muted movies altogether. Yeah, it was tough.

I thought that music (primarily), at any volume, would make my tinnitus worse. That what happened in the beginning. But it´s no wonder, my ears were like open wounds, not ready to take in more sound.

Poor ears.

A year ago, I came to the realization that all of this fear of music and noises getting tinnitus worse was in fact, TRAUMA.

It took me 5 years to realize. It´s really strange though that the realization broke my "curse".

But now I´m finally free. Free to listen to whatever, wherever. I could now go to the gym, cafés etc.

Wow, what a feeling to absorb. I could start to LIVE again.

My tinnitus is still very loud and I struggle on and off at the moment (as I feel that my tinnitus worsened last year). I have a hard time habituating fully. It affects me the most when I go to sleep but I manage by listening to birdsong.

Even if it´s somewhat dark at moments, I am not afraid of noises anymore. <3