Going Out of My Mind

Hi everyone, I’m really hoping someone can help me. I’m new to this site & this may be a long post so please bear with me.

When I first experienced tinnitus, I had no idea what it was. I used to cry in the night, telling my mum I could hear a noise, trying to explain it was hard. My mum took me to the dr & they did loads of tests, I went to the hospital, various scans & testing was done but they couldn’t find a cause & I can still remember the dr saying the words “learn to live with it”...I was 7 or 8 years old.

That was 25 years ago & over the years my tinnitus has stayed the same level & tone. I have slept with a fan on, every night for 25 years to mask the sound & have got along fine. I struggled in my teens & tried various in ear masking devices from hearing clinics but nothing did much so I always reverted back to the good old fan.

If I sit in silence then my tinnitus is on a continuous loop of “spikes”
It gets louder, louder, higher pitched, louder, like going up a rollercoaster. Then just when it reaches a deafening level, (takes about 10 seconds to do so) it drops back down & the process starts again. I avoid silence at all costs to prevent myself from tuning into this & I’ve been successful at that up until this point.

In the back of my mind, I’ve aways worried about the future. Mainly of losing my hearing because then “how will I disguise the tinnitus?” Anyway, last night I woke up to what I believed was an alarm. A constant beep that sounded in the distance, but loud enough to hear over my fan... after a few minutes I realised it was my tinnitus. It seems to have completely changed both pitch & volume suddenly. I sat for an hour just listening to it, completely numb. I feel like my life has changed in 1 night-I know that sounds dramatic, but I’ve heard the tinnitus al day, over the sound of the tv, radio, outside noise & my 2 year old. I don’t know what to do if this is my new reality. It’s unbearable.

I must add, I am under stress but I’ve been MUCH MORE stressed in the past after a bereavement & this has never happened. Can anyone offer any advice? Is it worth going back to the drs? I mentioned my tinnitus at an appointment a while back & my dr said there were no new treatments currently available to try & was very dismissive.

I just don’t know how to go on like this, I feel like a different person. My partner is struggling to understand as he’s never had tinnitus & it’s hard to explain to a non sufferer. I feel so alone & distraught inside.

 

@Whatissilence,
Welcome to Tinnitus Talk.
I would have your ears checked just to rule out wax or glue ear etc.
Try to offload stress as it can spike tinnitus but hopefully your tinnius sound will settle back down for you.
love glynis