Going

Where to start. I don't really wanna be here anymore, I'm tired of crying. Nothing helping, things are just getting worse. I cry all day, when my partner comes home I put on my happy face till he leaves again the next morning. My kids aren't even enough to want me to stay. Have zero motivation. Hoping I get hit by a bus or something.

 

Unfortunately most of us here understand what you are going through all too well...usually it levels out a bit after some time, but I noticed yours is from 2013.
Did it stay at the same level this whole time, or did something make it worse recently?

 

Few weeks ago it's just got worse out of no Where, I'm scard..

 

Why are things getting worst? what type of routine/diet/life style do you have? Do you journal what you do on a daily basis?

 

@nomoredreaming If you have loud T then you may have jaw retrusion and not classic TMJ. With this there's no jaw joint clicking, but there is signaling from the 11th cranial accessory nerve that will cause ear pressure itchiness. This would not show up on a CT because your jaw or neck isn't moving during testing.

With neck movement the trapezius will move the head and jaw function back and the SCMs pulls the jaw forward. If you were to bend your neck forward for a length of time, your T would probably increase if this is the issue. If so then compression to the hyoid, digastric, masseter, temporalis and pterygoid comes into play. Focus exercise on those areas may help, but try a massage under your chin on the digastric muscle. Loosen up your SCMs and try not to use so much forward head beading as a test.

A little Vitamin C, B12, chelated Zinc with magnesium and NAD+ Cell Regenerator may also help.

 

Nothing has changed it's just getting worse, I do grind my teeth at night alot I don't no how to stop this

 

Do you have a mouthguard? I used to grind my teeth a night — years before tinnitus — and a mouthguard helped.

 

Yes a have a mouth guard I'm struggling to clear my ears they seem more clear when I lie down

 

I can relate to those with TMJ and clenching. My TMJ started with a neck injury from having mouth open for too long during dental surgery complicated by not having my neck relaxed onto a head rest. Added to that is cranial nerve and atlantoaxial involvement.

One of my dentist who naturally does a lot of forward bending also clenches his teeth at night. He also hears the drill daily, but he does not have tinnitus. He does the exercises mentioned in this link and massages his digastric muscle several times a day. There are thousands of articles on TMJ/D, but the ones that mention face and neck muscles and the atlantoaxial with cranial nerve input often discuss associations to tinnitus.

https://erikdalton.com/blog/tmj-forward-head-posture-neck-pain/

 

Many times reading how some people live for a dog or cat make me feel horrible for thinking like you: kids are not enough to keep me suffering! I don’t want to be here anymore!

Is my suffering greater or am I selfish?

I’m sorry I wish I could help but all I can say is that many of us are in the same boat

 

I think that once the level of this brutal torture hits certain point, all bets are off...kids or no kids.
Human beings can take a lot of physical abuse, but at some point we need to be able to sleep and we need to have silence...both of those get destroyed by loud debilitating tinnitus.
We are simply not wired to endure this level of mental torture for very long...life is unsustainable for long term under those conditions.
This is why torture by sound, coupled with sleep deprivation is such an effective weapon when used by the likes of CIA, Mossad etc.

 

Thank you for being understanding!
I feel horrible even thinking thouse thoughts when I hear of others fighting because of their beloved pets and here I am, s mother of two beautiful girls, wanting nothing more than go.
That plays on my mind very badly.