Got Tinnitus from a Rave — Blaming Myself for Not Protecting My Ears

I am thankful that I did not fck up my hearing, or got worse tinnitus than what I got. I am sure I will be able to habituate to the tinnitus.

Yeah, I don't know if the girl ridiculing me made me not protect my ears. But I was thinking about not looking stupid with earplugs at the rave, so could be. And I probably also wanted to fit in or something. And then I rationalized that it could not possible be so loud/bad, otherwise these guys would have no hearing left after going to the raves. And then I was thinking that I wanted to listen to the music, and did not want to distort the music with the foam earplugs. But nothing to about it now. But the laziness that I did not order new filter earplugs also contributed to me not using earplugs. I had to also write to the guy who is arranging the raves, that the music was too loud, and that it is damaging people's ears, and he agreed it was too loud, so hopefully it will save some ears. But I won't go the same parties again, it was anyways not a really good one.

I will leave if it is super loud, but "normal loudness" I will still experience again, and then using earplugs all the time. Thinking about buying two pairs of Earasers, 19 dB and some with higher rating also. Heard they should be good. I already bought some Alpine ones to use.

Let's hope our hearing or tinnitus won't get worse, and that it even somehow heals.

 

Not everyone's hearing is the same dude, literally a genetic lottery. Not a chance worth taking. Better safe than sorry.

 

I would say the worst now is actually the trauma of it all. The thought about the rave, and how then knowing it was not good, and still not do anything about it. Feels like I did it on myself almost intentionally, but I did not. I was just in a bad loop, and did not get myself to put in the earplugs. It is really sad for me personally. It sucks so hard.

On the good side, music sounds like before, and I don't have problems hearing what people say, and I am so grateful it did not get worse. But the way I let it happen is so traumatizing. I have so much regrets for getting it, it hurts deep into my heart and stomach.

I will get over it, but I wish I could stop thinking about the incident.

 

My tinnitus has today been super quiet. Almost not noticeable, which is really good. But sometimes over the last few days it has been more noticeable at work, but looks like it goes up and down throughout the day. I wear some Alpine PartyPlugs earplugs (which I also wash almost every evening) all time at work now since I can communicate with people with them inserted (shipyard, so always some noise), and if there is more noise I am super quick to put on the earmuffs on my helmet. I have kind of always been good at protecting my ears at work with earmuffs, but now taking it a step further because of afraid losing more hearing.

I am still thinking back to the stupid decision in the rave, to not put in the earplugs even though I was thinking my hearing got fucked because of how loud it was. I am also praying that my hearing somehow gets better (even though it is not bad, but I don't like the dips), and trying to communicate to my grandfather (in heaven) to somehow get help to heal it all, hehe. I guess I just regret it so bad. Never done anything before which I regret more. And I even kind of have wanted to start to believe we don't have free will, so that I could not have done it otherwise, hehe. But yeah, I just need to keep on living with what has happened, and I should be super happy it is not worse.

The worst I would say, is kind of that I have compromised my ears, and then thinking that I need to be super careful in the future. Had I only not gone to this rave before Christmas, or protected my ears, then I would never been in the situation that I need to be so careful. I was already kind of started to become more careful last year, using the Alpine PartyPlugs when the music was a bit loud. But now I need to be so so careful, even at some outdoor small forest party/festival where the music is not that loud, and I fucked it all up so hard over this one party. I really love raving I have to say, to dance on LSD gives me such a lot of joy, and I am saddened that it could be I have to stop doing so/be super careful. And it saddens me that I need to stop using headphones and all. It saddens me that I also probably have a bit worse hearing than I had, even though I still hear quite well. It saddens me also a lot that in the rave I felt it was okay to sacrifice some of my hearing for some stupid reasons, that I did not "want to look stupid", "get in all the music" etc. Even though my brain was saying to myself; "the music is too loud, your damaging your ears" over and over again.

The tinnitus had really taught me what is important in life, health. And I will hopefully stop depressing less over trivial shit in the future. I know I will get over this, and it has taught me a lot, but I still wish so hard that it never happened. I actually think I somehow need to rave again (with protection), to really get over the incident, as long as it does not spike the tinnitus/make my hearing worse, which is my big fear.

I also have gotten the result, in the mail, from the audiogram I took 2 years ago, but I can not see it before I get home from work. I don't remember what the result was, and I don't know if it was a perfect audiogram, or not. After the audiogram 2 years ago, I have not given my ears too much of a beating.

 

Comparing the audiogram I took 20th November 2018 with the one I took 3rd March 2021.

3rd Match 2021 - 20th November 2018

Right ear:
125 Hz: 15 dB - 10 dB
250 Hz: 15 dB - 10 dB
500 Hz: 10 dB - 10 dB
1000 Hz: 10 dB - 10 dB
1500 Hz: 0 dB - not tested
2000 Hz: 10 dB - 10 dB
3000 Hz: 0 dB - 10 dB
4000 Hz: 0 dB - 10 dB
6000 Hz: 15 dB - 10 dB
8000 Hz: 15 dB - 10 dB

Left ear:
125 Hz: 20 dB - 10 dB
250 Hz: 15 dB - 10 dB
500 Hz: 10 dB - 15 dB
1000 Hz: 10 dB - 10 dB
1500 Hz: 0 dB - not tested
2000 Hz: 10 dB - 10 dB
3000 Hz: 0 dB - 10 dB
4000 Hz: -10 dB - 10 dB
6000 Hz: 30 dB - 10 dB
8000 Hz: 10 dB - 30 dB (I think I failed on the pressing on this one)

After the audiogram on 20th November 2018 I have been also to quite some parties, but also been protecting my ears quite a bit when I felt it is too loud, but also done some extended partying. So the audiogram in 2018 was not "perfect" (but I don't think they check for 5 dB sounds), and as I see it now, I need to constantly wear earplugs to future parties/concerts for sure.

I have ordered Earasers earplugs, as they should supposedly be really good, and they probably arrive soonish. I have also checked at home how high in frequency I can hear, and I can hear up to around 16500 Hz without turning up the volume, so I guess my hearing is still quite goodish. Just need to be super careful from now on, and that I almost feel is the worst, is that I "used up" so much of my hearing on this one party.

But who knows, maybe I would have done a festival summer/partying days in Berlin without wearing earplugs had it not been for this one event, turning it all worse than this one party. But I am also really really irritated at the people who make this event I was at, as I after the event also then remember all the signs in that they actually blast it really hard.

I am doing no masking at all, I don't know if I should try to do so? I am also falling into the habit of plugging my ears to "check for the tinnitus" too much, but if I am with people then I usually can have a good time, and not notice the tinnitus at all. The tinnitus is mostly there all the time, but sometimes it is more bothersome. If it goes away, I will be so grateful.

I think a bit of my problem now also is that I can't enjoy being home to much, moved into this place last summer because it was cheap and chill people, but it is really traffic noisy, and with really badly isolated windows, it gets super bad. The constant cars driving by probably keeps fcking up my mental health also, and probably was also a contributing factor in that I ended up on that rave, as I wanted to travel away for some days, probably also a bit because of "escaping being home", hehe.

It is quite hard to accept that I was so stupid in the moment, to not protect my ears. But if the tinnitus actually goes away, I think I could easily turn it into a positive in the end. But if it stays, then it will be difficult I think. At least I can take some positives from it, making other problems a lot smaller. I still though kind of wake up in the morning with regrets most mornings, but I also managed to have good moments. I know I need to stop using my time on regrets, as I could probably do that the rest of my life, and it would not bring my anywhere.

I think by the summer my mood probably is back good again hopefully, moving out of my traffic noisy room in 2 months, and going to find a new nice apartment for myself as I now earn a more proper wage.

 

I am doing a lot better. The tinnitus is there for the most part, but I would say the volume has decreased quite a bit. I can't even hear it in silent rooms most of the time. It goes a bit up and down in volume, but it is bothering me less now than before when I hear it. If I plug my ears I can still hear it in silent rooms, and also can hear it when going to sleep many days, but I am a good sleeper, so no problems falling asleep which is a good thing. Sometimes it goes a bit up in volume, but not much.

Sometimes the tinnitus is mostly white noise (still only left ear), and the white noise is better than the other sounds I have had. It is not white noise all the time, but sometimes it is.

I still feel my hearing is a bit worse than it was before, especially in a canteen with a lot of people, I feel I don't hear as good as I did, but I don't know how much is me only imagining. I still have some symptoms in that I have "a feeling in my brain", or "a feeling in my ear", which is there sometimes, but I don't know how much is imagination, or if it is something wrong, but I could imagine there is some "nerve damage" or something that has been done, but which hopefully heals.

The trauma from the incident has also probably gone down by 80% or something like that. I don't get these flashbacks as often anymore, and when I get them, the "memory" has faded a lot. I am even able to smoke cannabis again (trying to not smoke more than a handful days a month), without getting anxious anymore, even if I laying in bed can hear the tinnitus. I have even smoked without hearing the tinnitus in silent rooms now (tinnitus sound goes up with smoking).

I have even been to two smaller parties with DJs (10 people corona-friendly stuff, no cases in area), with earplugs of course. The Earasers ones really are 99,5% as not using earplugs, but I wonder if the rated dB on them not are as high as they say. I am thinking to get myself some custom earplugs in the next months.

I have also moved out of my traffic noisy place! Woohoo. Enjoying being home 10 times more because of that. So life is going quite good.

I hope the healing continues, and maybe the tinnitus disappears 100%. I have the belief at least. As I am enjoying being more home now, I am really going to focus on eating well and healthy from now, and continuing working out. It is time to get some momentum going on in my life again.

I am several more times positive, and I just need to be super careful to not get a second acoustic trauma, and I think I will be able to enjoy life "as before" again.

I am really grateful I did not get a worse case than I did, and I can learn from this. Going to the party where I got the tinnitus was not the right thing to do, and I think by listening to my gut feeling and being honest in what I do, I will be able to live a life where I don't do big fck ups.

 

I am doing 1000% better, or at least A LOT better.

First of all, the ringing is down even more from April, to now almost nothing there. I still hear faint ringing several times a week, but some days I don't even hear it lying in bed. I would say it is super faint at most times, or actually not even there. Sometimes it goes up to a 2/10 at most probably, but that is rare.

I also protect ears all the time now. Really happy with the Earasers! The material really does not getting tiring/irritating against the skin, even using for 12 hours straight. I use them at work also, and then I have earmuffs over (at work), and all the time in bars, raves and concerts.

Been to two forest festivals this summer, protected and everything, did not have any spikes etc, and I even fell in love, hehe, so the whole summer got a lot more interesting, and also finally moved to another city etc, and they even lifted all COVID-19 rules here! Woohoo!!! I am super super happy about it, feel super super lucky. It has really taught me a lot, and put a lot of other worries a lot smaller.

I have prayed a lot, even that everyone with tinnitus should get better, and I still hope the ringing just faints away for everyone!

A friend of mine, which I just got to know better, he told me that stretching the neck had helped him when it came to tinnitus, so I am also stretching the neck more.

 

Really happy that yours resolved and you are happy with life now. I got mine 2 months ago due to an audio system feedback loop and I am still having anxiety issues. Mainly because I felt that the a high pitch tone has very slowly gotten a bit louder.

Did yours vary quite a bit before getting to where you are today? I guess yours started around 7-8 months ago?

 

Hi @Eyyooo.

I am pleased that the tinnitus has reduced and you are able to carry on with your life. You are doing the right thing by using ear protection when going to forest festivals. I want to give you some advice and hope you don't mind. It is based on personal experience, corresponding and counselling people with noise induced tinnitus which is what you have. If you decided to follow my advice, there is a good chance your tinnitus will remain low for the rest of your life. Please click on the link below and read my post: Will My Tinnitus Get Worse?

I wish you well.
Michael

Will My Tinnitus Get Worse? | Tinnitus Talk Support Forum

 

Whenever I read that a poster claims to have had his / her tinnitus diminished or alleviated through prayer (and there have been several on this site), I instantly dismiss the entire content of the post, since to me prayer is on a level with a near-childish magical wish fulfillment equivalent to visiting an Astrologer or a crystal-ball Psychic.

I recall that whenever a priest or minister protested against the Nazis and was sent to Dachau, the SS Officers would taunt him by shouting in his face, "Where is your benevolent, protective God now?"

 

I find this statement patronizing and distasteful. A lot of people here suffer through their biggest crisis of their life, and it's very common to seek God in such a trying time. If you don't want to believe, then that's fine, but don't push down others who do have faith amidst their crisis.

This thread is not a place of religious debate. If original poster believes he found help in prayer, then good for him.

Respectfully,
Stacken

 

You are blatantly ignoring the difference between having a faith that will be emotionally resourceful and the reports to a certainty that the intervention of God actually, entirely eliminated tinnitus (which oftentimes was the interpretation I felt I was faced with).

I don't care what these respondents believe in if it will provide a ballast against their onslaught of tinnitus; what I cannot accommodate are their assurances that Divine Intervention will cure tinnitus.

A good definition of communication is "the transference of understanding." If you believe that Divine Intervention is accessible for everyone, then we are not capable of communicating.

Oh, and by the way, where was God in Dachau? Where was he when @Allan1967 could finally not stand this anymore?

Where was He when I was excruciatingly, terrifyingly beset with suicidal ideation?

 

Faith without belief in divine intervention isn't really emotionally resourceful, and if someone have such belief and reports divine intervention following prayer, then I'd say; good for him. Criticizing that, using the words you used, is just plain disrespectful.

You don't have to accommodate to anything. If you lack belief; carry on and ignore if you wish.

I didn't enter this thread to discuss theology as it's not the purpose of said thread.

Good day to you,
Stacken

 

To Stacken77:

Faith as a means of withstanding Life's tragic situation without Divine Intervention is one of the fundamental principles espoused by every Catholic and Protestant Theologian (not to mention it being the whole point of the Book of Job).

Belief that still exists even in the face of Life's overwhelmingly tragic condition has been regarded ever since Christianity began as the very means of proving and augmenting one's resilient Faith.

 

@DaveFromChicago, you need to just drop this.

You know I 100% agree with you where these ridiculous "success" stories -in which one has merely learned to cope with mild to moderate tinnitus, get adorned with "awards", "kudos" and "congratulations"- are concerned.

But stepping on people's faith is another matter entirely; it's the same as taking away someone's hope (maybe even worse), because you are challenging how they have come to terms with their hardship (often) by giving it meaning.

If you can live and suffer without applying a greater meaning, then that's great, but it's not for everybody; just like life without reliance on dialysis and asthma pumps, isn't for everybody (and I say that as an agnostic myself).

My grandmother was Catholic and a great believer in God and the Bible, and her ability to cope with difficulty and health problems, trumped even my own, up until her death (which she had absolutely no fear of, btw). Her faith got her through everything, including tinnitus, which did in fact, miraculously disappear after some years.

Do I believe this had anything to do with prayer, no; but I don't not believe either. I'm entirely agnostic on the matter.

But anyway, even as an agnostic with leanings towards their Catholic roots, I would never worship at the Church of TRT, because that takes a level of faith even a hardcore evangelist couldn't muster. But a bigger plan? I've always felt there was intervention in my life, no matter how hard I tried to steer it in the directions I wanted it to go.

On @Allan1967: I'm not going to comment, because I believe it's too insensitive to discuss his case specifically; what I will say is that this forum has seen the loss of some beautiful people, and I see nothing wrong with anyone (their families especially) viewing their leaving us, as part of a plan, if it helps them to rationalise it.

From both a scientific and spiritual perspective, I personally do not believe anyone really leaves us anyway; but as @Stacken77 said, that is a discussion for another thread.

To conclude: live and let live, and to each his own. Unless it negatively impacts our cause and our demands for a real treatment (which it doesn't: because no scientist or doctor is prescribing prayer (instead of TRT) and calling the case closed), I don't see any reason to question it.

 

I am agnostic, and actually almost never prayed, but I did with the tinnitus and also with COVID-19. But, I don't believe in prayers, hehe. And I don't think it made mine go down in volume/disappear. But yeah, I don't believe my prayer will help anyone's tinnitus. But maybe it does? Desperate times can make you try out all there is to try.