Hi, My Name Is Huni, I Will Tell You My Story

Let me introduce myself, my name is Huni. I`m 25.

I have T since the age of 17 probably (i`m not really sure), at first it was really annoying, I went to doctors stayed in hospital for a week, they do almost everything with my ear but not helped much, so I have to accept it.

At first it was hard, but with time I just get used to it. I think my major progess was made when I started to work in a thread factory with huge noisy machines. Of course the company provided earplugs, at first it was so annoying to wear and beside of that hear the rumble of the machines, but I get used to it pretty good, months has passed and if I think back, I get used to monoton noises (sometimes 12hour a day) that I can completly close out noises, that was the point when I have realised some things and some questions formed in me...my T has gone? well the answer for it was both yes and no...I still had it, but I almost can`t hear it no more, maybe just in bed, but that was so minimal that I could easily fall a sleep even in a dead silence.

If I think back everything was great, until one disastorus night...I went to a local party (I`m not a big party fan, but maybe once in a month just to hang out) so I went to the party and because I don`t have earplugs I made two form paper (that was a stupid idea), anyway the night was over and when I have tried to remove them one get stuck, I started to panic because of that plug, I could hear my T pretty loud, It was a weekend so I had to wait few days to see a doctor, 3 days later the doc removed my "instant" earplug. But that stressfull days took their mark on me...my T got really worse, I hear now all day long. Even in the streets. I`m really scared, I`m not sure it`s louder or it`s just loud becase I`m listening to it in every moment, but I thing the first one. I really hope that with time I get back to my early stage with my trained T. I can`t mask it properly because I just keep focusing on it all day long, I have an office job where is pretty much full silence, it`s so hard to pay attention what I`m doing. I can`t sleep just a few hour in every night, I feel quilty, all day long I ask myself what if? what if...

 

Welcome Huni. One positive point is that you had T before and you got better. So there is some prior experience for you to lean back to hep you cope with the new condition. You can consider this new condition as a spike which may settle back to baseline again some time later. The less you react negatively, the faster you can recover. You may want to try masking to you don't have to be so afraid to hear the sound or to monitor it all the time. TT has some nice sound tracks in here. You can also download a free sound generator 'aire freshener'. Try a sound machine or sleep pillow for sleep. Use an ipod or smart phone for masking on the go. Masking is a great help for me during my toughest time a few years back. Good luck and God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/panic/

 

I`ll try everything to get back to my earlier stage, that good old days live 100% happy even with T.

 

5 months has passed...well, I have no good news, my T is definitively stronger than in previous years. I`m trying to live normal life again, but it`s really hard, currently I`m not suicidal or something, just exhausted. Regret that friday party in every day. I can sleep and do what I want, but I always pay attention to my T...of course I have a few minutes of peace when I`m doing something and not focusing on it, but these moments are very rare for me.

I`m not trying to mask it, because I want to force my brain to rehabituate once again, but I have to admit, it`s really hard.