Hi. Tinnitus Since 2016. Just Getting Worse.

Hi everyone on Tinnitus Talk.

I’m 28 years old and got my Tinnitus in April 2016, after a couple of nights playing shows with my band in small venues. It was very loud. Thinking back on those days makes me sick to my stomach and my music career was over after this.

Tinnitus came on gradually. I first heard a very low beep in my ear which freaked me out completely. It got worse over the following weeks and of course I became a mess.
Moved back in to my parents house for a while, didn't sleep or eat for weeks.
I was a complete wreck. Thankfully I had my parents and my partner's support through all of this, I was lucky.

In June 2016 I was devastated to find out I was pregnant with my first child. It should have been such a great time but at the same time I was having suicidal thoughts because of tinnitus. It was horrible.

Something had to happen and I started seeing a psychiatrist who specialized in treating tinnitus patients. He also had tinnitus himself.
I don't know if it was just the time spent talking to him, or just it naturally fading a bit but it helped me. I think I was lucky and it was the latter. I would say I was habituated to a fairly mild t in the autumn of 2016.

I had my baby girl in Feb 2017, and even though it was a lot of work, stress, lack of sleep that year I hardly ever thought about my tinnitus. Except for whenever I used ear protection in loud environments.
In May last year I found out I was pregnant again which came as a surprise but a good one this time.

Everything was good up until October last year when everything changed.
I missed making music and had written a couple of songs on my guitar the last years and I went to record them with a friend in his studio. He knew my problem and has tinnitus himself so we agreed to do a very low volume recording session for a couple of days.
I used headphones super low. I mean they were pretty much not even on because I was so careful. Still, you cant record without making any sound at all. We listened back on speakers and those things, but not loud at all. But after this hyperacusis came on gradually and my bad ear (the right one) had several new very loud tones.
I was a mess again. This was real tinnitus. The mild one before cannot even compare to these loud, unmaskable sounds. I was devastated and going crazy with panic attacks cause of this new tinnitus. But I had to try to get myself together because of my daughter and our new baby. And I’m still trying.

Although I’m a bit more relaxed now everything has become really difficult after this. I had my second baby in December and up until now everything has just gotten worse. My ears are screaming and I feel like my hyperacusis is getting worse too. Being around two small screaming children all the time makes my situation feel so hopeless. And I live in fear all the time.

Yesterday my youngest screamed very close to my right ear, and I’m so angry I let that happen when I’m normally so careful about those things. A big spike now of course, waiting to see if it returns to baseline.

I’m so tired of living with so much fear all the time

I do see the same psychiatrist when I can, but with this new loud tinnitus it doesn't seem to help me at all.

I honestly do not know what to do.
I'm so sad I don't get to be myself around my babies, and especially the oldest one can tell something is not right even though I try to hide it from her. The last thing I want is for her to be scared and feel unsafe. I feel horrible and don't know what to do. And now my partner seems to be getting tired of this and gets upset with me a lot whenever I bring it up. He has tinnitus as well and he doesn't understand how it can be such a problem for me. I guess we just don't have it the same way.

I have tinnitus in both ears and also head tinnitus. I have so many tones I cannot count them, but the loudest one is in my right ear. A very low frequency dial tone ringish sound. It is extremely intrusive. And my tinnitus changes all the time, every minute. But never really calms down. I have swooshing, crickets, ringing, morse codes, you name it.

This was very long, I’m just so very low. It is a nightmare that never ends, just gets worse.

Anyone else here with small children who make a lot of noise?

I guess I’m just looking for any advice, any hope that things can get better. It's so loud, so many different sounds.

It really feels like it never will get better. It more feels like life is over, and that's such a horrible feeling to walk around with when I have two small children.


Thank you for reading. And thanks in advance for any advice.

 

I'm really sorry that your tinnitus got louder, I think everyone's tinnitus is different, which makes it really difficult when giving advice etc.

Have you tried taking magnesium? I take it (375 mg) when I get a spike or just have anxiety over my tinnitus (even when it's all in my head) and find it really helps. It may just be placebo, but I don't care, it works for me.

I think the key to getting over tinnitus is to completely ignore it. I noticed that when I worried a lot and thought about it, it became really loud, but when I just accepted it and gave myself some hope, the hyperacusis went away and the tinnitus faded. I think you will be fine, it'll lower in volume but you need to relax, just tell yourself it'll get better and distract yourself. Once your body and mind relax, so will the tinnitus.

Sending hugs x

 

Thank you @Farah for your kind reply.
I know you’re right, I have to relax and try to ignore it. It’s just so hard when all it seems to do is get louder and the hyperacusis and ear pains are only getting worse.

 

Your life isn’t over because it can always get quieter, in your case it did before. Congratulations on managing to be a mum of two small children at the same time as having tinnitus. Although being a mum is such a blessing it can be such a challenging time of life when they’re both very small and maybe over time your stress levels will go down and then things will get quieter.

 

Are you based in the UK?

 

If only there was an on/off switch. I pray for all sufferers in the whole and a cure for all ills. I get spikes for no reason other than stress? It takes time for it to calm down.

I'm waiting.

 

No @Candy
I live in Norway.

 

My partner has tinnitus too. Hers is louder an intrusiver than mine. But she really doesnt't care her tinnitus at all. She thinks I am drowing in a glass of water. And yes I am drowing but in the middle of the atlantic ocean.

 

I would wear ear protection around these kids. There is not much you can do with noise induced T besides making it worse
A cure is on the way but still years away

 

How does she deal with it? How does hers sound?

 

I really don't know. She has 2 ó 3 tones, she realized she had it when I got mine. It seems hers are Cicadas and high pitch tone, sometimes she talks louder because the tinnitus is intrusive in normal talking. But she doesn't care. I don't know how she does that.

 

Wow... that’s quite something...