How to Be with Someone Having Tinnitus?

Discussion in 'Support' started by Christophe_85, Sep 2, 2017.

    1. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      The type of women that you refer to are from another era and few are around today believe me. I support everything that you say but with one proviso. If you're a man or a woman for that matter and you have something. A house money etc don't get hitched to someone that's got nothing.

      Michael
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    2. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Who said "they WILL". I said "the CAN".

      Think of it this way - if, say, paint ball players Could switch their paint ball gun for a real hand gun and shoot one in the head whenever they felt like it, not all of them would take advantage of it. However, even if only one in 10,000 were to do that (and not face any consequences), it would be unwise to participate in paint ball events.
      The courts seem to have a double standard.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    3. Tinker Bell

      Tinker Bell Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      SSHL from virus
      Even can suggests the possibility of something happening. It’s almost a nefarious suggestion in the paintball example. Women can cause financial ruin. Okay, but men can as well. The noun not the verb is where the stereotype lies.
       
    4. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      You are quite right Bill. In most western countries a married man loses out the most in a divorce. Often financially ruined. One only has to go to YouTube to find this out.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    5. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Since I was never going to marry anyone (which I made sure to explain before all of the first dates), I don't really care about financial issues as a result of a divorce. It is my understanding that the courts that determine how the assets are going to be split favour women. Having said this, I never spent any serious time looking into it. In any case, the problem is not with women causing anything. They are trying to maximize the amount that they will get (as they should, as I myself would). The problem is that the courts have been appearing to be biased.

      What I am mostly concerned about is a woman wrongfully accusing me of wrongdoing. I am also concerned about men wrongfully accusing me, but I am not spending any time alone with men, and I would have a fair chance of winning the case. The hypothetical man knows this and, as a result, is unlikely to accuse me of anything.

      If a woman knows that the courts are likely going to be on her side, she will have a greater incentive (compared to that hypothetical man) to make a wrongful accusation. It is only rational for me to take this into account when I make my choice about how and who I spend my time with.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    6. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      I agree. The system is heavily biased against men and unfortunately, there are unscrupulous women out there that will use it to their advantage and ruin a man in every which way possible. These days a man has got to be careful whom he dates and more so if he decides to get married, as he will virtually have no rights if the relationship goes wrong and a woman wants to be vindictive.

      I am not saying there aren’t men out there that treat women unfairly but I certainly am not one of them. I was raised to have certain values and principles particularly when associating with women. I was taught this from a young age from the best person that I have known who is no longer with me: if I don’t mean a woman any good then leave her alone. Try to be honest, upfront and respectful from the outset and I’ve always adhered to this.

      Michael
       
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      • Agree Agree x 1
    7. Leodavinci
      Bookworm

      Leodavinci Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Kansas
      Tinnitus Since:
      6/26/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Idiopathic + Sudden hearing loss
      Yes, and the system includes the culture of demonizing men and promoting toxic feminism including it's hundreds of lies about the female condition in the west. Tons of privilege and court protection for women combined with endless complaints about first world problems like paying more for hand soap marketed to women.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    8. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Wow you are really thrashing about. I was trying to be calm and peaceful about this whole matter and you've gone and let the genie out of the bottle and told the cold harsh reality, of what every man faces today, that chooses to get involved with a woman and the risks he is taking. I couldn't agree with you more. My home which is bought and paid for I'm not going to lose it, to someone that might be just be after what they can get because the system allow it.

      I say to all men open your eyes and see what's going on. I wasn't mgtow but have seen the unfair way that men are treated by the government and the courts. Friends of mine have been ruined by divorce. The system is trying to pass laws that If a woman moves into your house and stays there for a while, she's entitled to half of it. And if you move her into your home and she has a child for another man. She only has to stay in your home for while. Concoct a story about you. Tell lies and turn on the water-works and you can get thrown out of your own home that you bought and paid for and have little say in the matter. Wake up.

      Michael
       
    9. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Yesterday, I forgot about the fact that in the event of a pregnancy, men have no say in whether or not an abortion is to be performed. I am not saying anything about whether or not they should have a say. I am saying that if they know they won't have a say, they ought to take this into account and act accordingly.
       
    10. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      But before getting your T, did you want to start a family ?

      Did you have any plans for this kind of life ?
       
    11. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      Hello Marc,

      Thank you for your message.

      Yes I would like to meet a woman who is not interested by anything loud... But even the Movies or watching TV at home can be quite loud...

      And also if she wants to go the Theatre or to go for a Show, all the things that people do in normal life...

      After that I also have physical troubles (knees) and I earn little money, so this makes even more difficult to be with someone...
       
    12. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      I never wanted children and have always made that clear when going out with a woman before I had tinnitus, and this hasn't changed. I am glad that I made this choice seeing the way that the world is now. Many young people in society today, have little or no respect for their parents or adults and doesn't matter how well they are brought up. Often they are influenced by the world and what's going on around them. Parents have very little control over their children these days and that's thanks to the "system" once again but that's another story.

      I didn't plan for this type of life but that's just the way it is. I'm not being cynical just a realist and back to the mgtow topic. I never used to think like this but the unfair way that men are treated by the system, has forced me to re evaluate things and my life, as I'm too old now to lose everything and start again.

      Michael
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    13. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      beliefs are makyo and reality ignores them
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      The older you get, the more women your age who aren't into loud things you'll meet :-p

      Most 20somethings I know like things too loud, very few 50somethings.

      But, being in a relationship with anyone is hard, and marriages are certainly more likely to end in divorce if one person is chronically ill. That's unfortunate, but statistically true.

      That said, my own marriage issued a year after my T got to it's current level. We go to less concerts and movies than we did in our 20s but other than that we have a normal life. My partner enjoys quiet hikes as much as I do... though they do also like to ride on my motorcycle with me ;) gotta have some fun in life...
       
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    14. marc 1974 london

      marc 1974 london Member Benefactor

      Location:
      London
      Tinnitus Since:
      8
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      noise i think ? stress
      i've known it a few times not me thankfully, my parents split just as you say.

      Men can have a habit or 2 in some
      theres someone for everyone keep looking
       
    15. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      You can't get accused of sexual harassment when you work at home by yourself. DQxwfudV4AE-sDI.jpg
       
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      • Funny Funny x 1
    16. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Nothing surprises me these days. This hasn't come about by accident. It is a plan by the system to bring men down and contol them under subjugation, so they will become weaker and less alpha male.
      Men will not stand for it....
       
      • Like Like x 1
    17. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      You forgot to use that "crimestop" technique
       
    18. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Thanks for the explination...
       
    19. Red
      Crappy

      Red Member

      Location:
      Northeast USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Exposure (Headphones)
      You mean more beta?
       
    20. MBH

      MBH Member

      Location:
      Upstate NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Overloaded stress
      I've enjoyed all the post about Venus and Mars. If you want to meet the one you will,. You have to change your standards a little bit and you have to plan different dates that will bring out good and bad personality. So you get to see the real person, And there are dates that will adjust to a person needs if they are the right one.
       
    21. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      No, I mean less alpha. I am a man not a woman....
       
    22. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      The ideals that you mentioned were once the correct way to go through life but in todays society, it is fraught with danger, if you get involved with someone long term that has nothing.....
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    23. Red
      Crappy

      Red Member

      Location:
      Northeast USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Exposure (Headphones)
      The word "Alpha" is not restricted based on gender. The closest official definition that you likely intended is that of a dominant individual within a group. Even if you go by the red pill definition, this is a bit dubious. Not all men are alpha by definition.

      Doubling back to your previous post, it is really interesting that, for example, you worry about the plight of alpha males. Technically, most government officials, both in the Western world and worldwide, are majority male. Technically, these are men subjugating other men just as a true alpha would. If one insists on looking at the world through this lens, the lawmakers are the alpha males and alpha females. If you really want to be alpha, it could be time to try one's hand at leadership.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    24. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      You are entitled to interpret what I write in any way manner shape or form. Please do not tell me what I mean...
       
    25. Red
      Crappy

      Red Member

      Location:
      Northeast USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Exposure (Headphones)
      I was not interpreting your post nor was I telling you what you meant. I am sorry if it came off that way. I was simply adding my own take on the word since that is the current discussion. Sometimes things do get lost in translation on the Internet though. I would like to hear more of what you have to say then.

      Could you please elaborate on what you mean?
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    26. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      I accept your apology and prefer not to elaborate on this particular issue, for I have expressed more than I intended to.

      Thank you
      Michael
       
      Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
    27. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Syringing + Somatic tinnitus from dental work
      My wife and I bond together when facing the sober realities of changes brought by time. There's many things that make a good relationship, but we never quick judge each other as outsiders within society may do.
       
      • Like Like x 4
    28. Vincent R
      Caffeine

      Vincent R Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      I am what you perhaps could call a semi-professional writer (in Swedish, mind you). An ex local newspaper journalist who has published a poorly selling novel. I'm at currently working with new projects that, bet on it, will uphold my status as a an almost failure. So I write, I read, and I go to writing workshops (a quiet environment where even a T sufferer can interact with girls, by the way).

      The point I want to make is that I'm very aware about how people write. And you, stylistically and even more so intellectually, write wonderful. Depending on your inclinations, you may want to consider what to do with that talent.
       
      • Friendly Friendly x 1
    29. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      At least it is not the Tinnitus that made your decision of not having children !

      I agree with you for the fact that having children nowadays is not very motivating...

      But don't you feel lonely being single ?
       
    30. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Christophe_85
      Alone

      Christophe_85 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Geneva, Switzerland
      Tinnitus Since:
      November 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure...
      Yes but I know some at the end of 30th and mid 40th who like to go out a lot, and of course going to loud places...

      I am 32 now and anyway I don't want to get married... Even before T I wasn't motivated for that ! ;)

      So you are divorced by now ?

      Sorry if I didn't understand...
       
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