How to Deal with Anxiety?

Discussion in 'Support' started by Maddy, May 19, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. Maddy
      Doubtful

      Maddy Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      31/3/14
      Hey everyone,

      So I've had a rough few days in which I felt extremely low and was in a very dark place. After a long walk and a chat with my mum I felt a great deal better!

      However I can feel those familiar feelings of anxiety starting to creep back up on me again! I think it's especially bad today as I have a doctors appointment and I'm worried about what she's going to say and whether or not she will be helpful!

      I have always been a worrier but the T has sent it completely out of control! In the last few days I couldn't eat, sleep, burst into tears all the time, used to lie in bed and feel sick and shake uncontrollably! It is NOT that bad anymore as I have told myself I just need to accept that my T is there and I just have to get on with my life.

      Im just wondering if any of you have any tips on how I can keep the anxiety at bay! I really want to steer clear of meds as I do not want I become dependent on them as I feel that will just create a viscous cycle!
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    2. MattK

      MattK Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2/13/2014
      It sounds like you already found what helps you, walks and talking to someone. If that person happens to be your mom or someone else, I think it sounds like you respond very well to talk therapy. I think if you feel like you need it, you should look into counseling as you sound like you'd be someone who would respond to it well.

      As for anxiety, again, I think counseling would help you. But I think things like redirecting your thoughts can help with anxiety. Such as when you feel like your life won't ever be the same, remind yourself that you've had good moments and there is no reason those good moments can't become more of the norm.
       
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    3. Maddy
      Doubtful

      Maddy Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      31/3/14
      I too was thinking that counselling or a talking therapy would be useful! My only worry is that I will find my anxiety subsides while I am there but will the return as soon as I get home! However I believe that they can teach coping techniques to practice!

      As you say I am trying as much as possible to redirect my thoughts into other activities (as difficult as that is when my T is ringing away) and remembering that every day is not always going to be a bad day will surely help :)

      Thank you for the advice, all the best!
       
    4. MattK

      MattK Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2/13/2014
      I think it is true that you will start to get to a point where you feel better while you're in counseling and will be left wondering what to do while you're out of it. But you're always free to ask your counselor what you can do in-between sessions or what to do once you feel anxiety starting to set in. I would be really surprised if a counselor did not give you advice on how to cope with your emotions outside of counseling sessions. In fact, if a counselor didn't at least do that, then I would say he or she isn't a very good counselor.

      But, regardless, I do think you'll reach a point where you will begin to feel better while you're in counseling and not so great outside of counseling. But then I think once you begin to practice the things that your counselor will tell you to do outside of each session, you'll eventually find that you'll begin to do better outside of counseling as well.

      But you have to keep in mind that these things aren't a quick fix. Emotional issues don't have any set time as far as their healing goes. It could be a while before you get to a point where you will feel "good" as a norm. So keep that in mind so that you set realistic goals for yourself. And that's great that you've already thought about counseling and recognized for yourself that it would be beneficial for you. Another thing to consider is the frequency of your counseling session. I can tell you now that sometimes when you're going through a crisis, even a span of two weeks between sessions can seem like an eternity.
       
    5. citigirl13
      Dreaming

      citigirl13 Member

      Location:
      North Yorkshire, England
      Tinnitus Since:
      17/1/14
      Hiya Maddy. We all have those rough days where we have really dark thoughts - but I am glad you feeling better.

      I understand you not wanting to take drugs - I am the same. If you get into a really bad place that may be the option, but I think the advice above is right: talking therapy would be better. I am considering doing that myself, and not just for the T - though that really pushed me over the edge. I don't think you need to take drugs at the moment. I also think drugs can only be a temporary solution and with other side effects. The best thing would be to learn how to deal with anxiety yourself.

      Anxiety is difficult to control. I too have always been a worrier, and my general nature is to obsess over a problem until I've solved it. With T that is the worst thing you can do. I think the best thing to do is try to forget about it. Again, that is hard with T buzzing in your ear. But it does get easier. I think the longer you have T the easier it is to deal with. When it first starts it's frightening because are not used to it - but later your brain adjusts to it and almost starts to tune it out/ignore it. Sometimes I have moments when I listen for it and can't find it - and then realise that I could hear it all the time but I was simply ignoring it.

      I would just try to do as you would normally e.g. see friends, films (remember earplugs!), read books, visit family etc. Whatever you love doing. Exercise is meant to be really good for you as well, and I myself have recently found that going on walks has put me in a better mood (though that could be the wonderful sunshine we've been getting!). My family is also getting a puppy (I am so excited about this!) so that will provide a distraction and also an excuse to walk more. If you have any preferred exercise e.g. cycling, I would suggest doing more of that should help. Again, eating healthy will help that. There might also be some herbal remedies for anxiety. Camomile tea (hope I have spelt that right) is might to make you relax.

      If you are worried about sleep, I would suggest trying to get your body into a calm mood. I would avoid watching films/going on your phone or computer an hour before you are set to go to bed, as the light from them is meant to keep you awake. If you can have a relaxing warm bath before, that should get your body more relaxed and ready for bed. Reading would help too, because you get more tired as you go. Has a masker been any help to you? Perhaps putting that on when you are reading will calm you too.

      Good luck Maddy. Try not to worry about it - it sounds like with a bit of help you should be okay.
       
      • Like Like x 3
    6. I who love music
      Cheerful

      I who love music Member

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      mid seventies
      I'm 55. I got T when I was 14. Til I was 38 I had been on all kinds of drugs with all kinds of side effects, too. By accident, I lost of bunch of weight, tripled my strength and destroyed all anxiety. And I had a lot of anxiety. I guess some depression too. A friend got me an eating / excercise book that changed everything. That's why I say it was an accident. I didn't WANT to excercise and ...... but, when I started I couldn't stop. And the author said after a few weeks I would go LOOKING for stressful situations. And I did !!!!! Hard to believe. Hardly anyone DOES believe me but it's true. This is why today I am NOT the person I was then. T does not bother me. Actually nothing bothers or frightens or concerns me. I can now deal with anything. I can DO anything. I'm healthier in every way and that includes tinnitus.
      One of my goals in this program was to change my response to my tinnitus. And of course it worked. Along with feeling more energetic, feeling happier, help others, and increasing my strength and metabolism. Those were my goals which were easily met because I followed the program.
       
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      • Winner Winner x 2
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    7. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Great advice from above posters. Maddy, if possible, for anxiety, I recommend you try some outdoor activities, even simple one as hiking or walking along scenic spots. For me, I go crabbing, fishing, camping, bird watching too besides hiking/walking and I do gardening too. I find outdoor activities can heal anxiety/depression like magic. The planning process before the outdoor event can take your mind away from worrying about T, and the richness of the outdoor experiences can heal the mind and allow it to rest from the harmful brain chemicals of negative emotions. At least try a new hobby of your choice, something which you always want to do. How about photography, ceramics/pottery, painting, musical instruments, etc. etc. This hobby-healing approach is actively promoted by Paul Tobey, a concert pianist and a recovered T veteran who give lectures on living with T & was featured on ATA in one of their publications. I find this advice tremendously healing for my T journey. That is why I posted many of my hobby activities on the Positivity thread to encourage T sufferers to try to live their life & pursuing their hobbies regardless of T high or low. It can only help and make life easier. Finding joy amid the pain, and living life abundantly regardless of T is my new motto. It may take time to get there, but as long as you stick to it, it will pay off in due time and you won't be so scared of T.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    8. citigirl13
      Dreaming

      citigirl13 Member

      Location:
      North Yorkshire, England
      Tinnitus Since:
      17/1/14
      I agree about going outdoors. I have been walking every evening for about five or six days now, and it has made me feel so much better. I can't hear my T when I am outside either so it is lovely (perhaps I could if I really focused on it, but there are so many other sounds - other people, birds chirping, the river, even the wind, that they just distract me). I would recommend walking/running or even just being outdoors to help with depression/anxiety.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    9. Mark McDill
      Curious

      Mark McDill Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Papillion, NE
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Likely stress, anxiety, an antibiotic and nsaids
      Maddy
      I agree with above posters about finding relaxing things to do (and exercising, and eating a good diet, et al). I do all those things too -- they are good and they help (a lot). But eventually you have to process the central cause of your anxiety. Is it the T (alone) or is it a combination of things? Processing takes a while; at least it did for me (bummer!). At the beginning, it was very difficult to figure out if the T was the cause or if it was something else.

      T was/is the hardest (most anxiety causing) event in my life; I recall several times last year thinking I was over all the anxiety only to have it well up inside (again); it would wake me up from a deep sleep. The recurrences were very frustrating and a cause for anxiety in and of itself.

      You mentioned acceptance -- that is the key; and is, by far, the hardest thing to do. Next time the anxiety rears its ugly head, try to just 'let it happen, let it wash over you, let it go, don't let it rule your thoughts or run with your imagination' and try to relax in spite of all the angst. You will find that afterwards you are still standing there (in tact) and that it doesn't have nearly as much power over you as you once thought -- you will win the moment and live (once again) in the present. Once you can do that (it kind of takes practice -- more failures then wins at the beginning) then you will begin to project positive thoughts about the future. Then things really start to improve.

      It's the hardest thing I've ever done (even after twenty in the military) but I'm glad I did. It is NOT easy, but take heart, you can get there.

      Until then we are with you and -- prayers!

      Mark
       
      • Like Like x 2
    10. amandine

      amandine Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      july 2014
      @Mark McDil
      @citygirl13
      @lbillie48
      Quick question to those suggesting outdoor activities.
      This was my favourite thing to do - until I got this T.
      I used to spend time outside at night looking at the stars. I used to go to the lake or rivers nearby to enjoy being by or in the water dependent on weather. However due to this T, I can no longer do any thing that I used to enjoy - the T sound is with me when I am outside and these places are so quiet that I can no longer sit peacefully by the lake or river or outside at night. The noise is simply too intrusive and my nervous reaction to it is profound. Therefore, going outside to enjoy outdoor activities is prohibited due to the nerve cranking T. Any advice? thanks
       
    11. flkb
      Amazed

      flkb Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/01/2012
      Amandine--- maybe you can bring your phone with you and use a nature app sounds when you go sit outside or by the river/lake. There are good outside nature sound apps you can use if it's too quiet by the lake. Wish I had those near me but that's not the case.
       
    12. Ilija
      Breezy

      Ilija Member

      Location:
      Jagodina, Serbia
      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud gig/year of loud headphone usage.
      For me whenever I start feeling overwhelmed with stuff, which has been happening a lot due to Tinnitus as of late I go out.
      Doesn't have to be a party or an event just going out, with friends if possible clears my head and reminds me that my life isn't all about Tinnitus and worrying.
       
    13. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
    14. Larry OT
      No Mood

      Larry OT Member Benefactor

      Location:
      NJ
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Volume, meds and motorcycles
      I am reading :
      Hope and Help for your Nerves.
      It's been very helpful.
      Main premise for anxiety attacks:

      Accept it
      Float past tension and fear
      Don't fight it
      Go through the peak of experience
      With total acceptance
      Let time pass
      It's gone
       

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