No matter what I do. I think about tinnitus. I don't (or can't, dunno...) focus on anything else. I'm pretty sure that a normal person would have just accepted or habituated to this by now. It's nearly 5 months now. I wake up so optimistic and by lunch-time I feel like I want to die. I'm so sick of feeling like I want to die. I know all the right things to think. I know that I catastrophise everything. But just from previous experience, it hasn't gotten any better so isn't it perfectly reasonable to think the worst? And now, all of a sudden, I can't breathe anymore. That's been 8 days now where I suddenly thought "omg, i cant breathe", and then couldnt. I look like an idiot breathing in really deeply all the time because I get the sensation that I can't breathe in properly. All of this stuff is all in my mind and knowing that doesn't help me stop it! None of this anxiety is real yet I feel it every second of the day. I hate being negative all the time. The last few years have been a disaster. I'm actually a normal happy person but I don't know who that was anymore. I cry every day but now I do it when I'm alone and then have to pretend to be ok around family and friends. I'm crying right now, I'm a loser. I am on antidepressants but I foolishly expected them to make everything better which is fact it doesn't do. They just are meant to help you cope better, they won't fix your life for you. I have to do that. But I feel like I can't do that. I start Audiology in 2 weeks. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to do nothing but I don't want to interact with other people either. I can't concentrate. GO AWAY TINNITUS!