I Feel Like Tinnitus Is Affecting My Quality of Life

Okay, so here's the story.

I'm a 20 year old girl (woman?). I developed tinnitus August of last summer for no apparent reason. I was sitting in my room during one of my sister's loud sleepovers, and decided to plug my ears to try to get some sleep. I put the earplugs in, and I heard it--a faint ringing. It was very quiet--almost imperceptible. I think most people would have just moved on with their night, but I FREAKED OUT. I was already dealing with a lot of stress/anxiety, and I'd always worried about my heath, and this seemed like one of the worst things that could happen to me. And so I researched it as much as I could, looking for ways I could prevent it from getting louder.

It got louder.

But that's not the point. The point is that I read various pieces of advice online (specifically on this forum), and the most prominent points were:

1) Avoid loud environments (especially concerts/night clubs).

2) Use white noise/music to distract yourself from tinnitus.

3) NEVER wear headphones. If you do, your tinnitus will get worse.

The last one hit me especially hard, and still continues to bother me. I've always loved headphones (well, technically earbuds, but I'm using the words interchangeably here). Without them, my life is much... duller. I'm sad much more often than before. I know there are people who say that music is just as enjoyable through loud speakers, but I disagree. There's something especially comforting about having music just for yourself. Wearing headphones kept me calm, and I don't know how to replace that source of calm in my life. Wearing them between classes kept me relaxed. Wearing them while studying kept me motivated and on task (I now hate working in the library/at my current 9 to 5, because I can't wear headphones and am thus bored out of my mind. My office is dead silent and having no music, especially with the added nuisance of tinnitus, is a special form of hell for me.) And wearing them while running made me, well, not hate exercising (I'm not trying to blame all of my problems on tinnitus, but long story short I gained about 15 pounds as a result of no longer wanting to run without music. Not having headphones made me realize just how much I hate exercising, and so I stopped. Oops). I don't think anybody loves headphones as much as I do because they kept me going. It brings me down that I can't use them, and none of these negative feelings have gotten better after almost a year.

Another issue is that pretty much anything can set my tinnitus off, despite my efforts to stop it from worsening. For example, I was in a dance show this semester. The entire time, I made sure to bring ear plugs to every rehearsal/show. But on closing night, I forgot them, and didn't realize this until seconds before I was about to go on. Nobody had earplugs, I didn't have any time to get any, and if I were to not go on, I would ruin the show. My tinnitus had been steadily improving up until this point, but after one show (that took place in a relatively small college auditorium, but was still pretty loud) I was back at square one. At first I thought it was just a spike, but it hasn't gotten any better. Just like that, months of being annoyingly careful about my ears, and not going to a BTS CONCERT out of fear of making my ears worse, went down the drain. In general, it angers me that (probably) not a SINGLE PERSON in the show wore earplugs, because that wasn't something they had to worry about. And I don't think anyone left with tinnitus either. Another example is that I went to see Aladdin yesterday with my friends and the same thing happened because I forgot my earplugs at home. Sometimes, life just happens to me, and any progress I make is ruined.

And the last thing that's bothering me is that I'm having a roommate next year. And the thing is, whenever I'm in silence I play white noise. I sleep with a tinnitus noise app every night. I literally can't stand to be in quite places because I hate my tinnitus so much. And that was never a problem because I always had a single. Normally, I'd be happy to have a roommate, but I'm worried that I'll either have to stop playing white noise and miss out on sleep (as well as deal with the anxiety tinnitus causes) or I'll end up alienating my roommate with the incessant noise. Honestly, because I hate making people upset, the former thing will probably happen. White noise is pretty much the only thing that got me through my tinnitus, and I feel like I'll be genuinely stressed out without it.

In general, what bothers me is that I don't understand the cause of my tinnitus, nor do I understand how to get used to it. I don't think it was caused by loud noise, because anyone who knows me knows I hate loud things (I wouldn't even go to the movies as a kid lol) and I always listened to my headphones at low volume. I've had my hearing tested by 2 audiologists, and they both said my hearing is perfectly normal (she also said that wearing headphones wouldn't harm my ears, but a lot of people have said that audiologists don't know because most of them haven't experienced tinnitus). I used to hold on to hope that it would go away, but it's been almost a year. For the most part, I remember my earplugs, avoid caffeine, and drink plenty of water.

So I guess my questions are:

1) Does anyone have any idea why my tinnitus started/why it won't go away? I've followed every piece of advice I can find, and while it almost went away a few months ago, it's now loud again for some reason.

2) Does anyone know how I can get used to the noise so that not having white noise won't be such torture? I've heard about "habituation" but that hasn't happened for me (probably because I spend so much time trying to avoid the sound).

3) Is wearing headphones really the end of the world? Even for a little bit? I know my tinnitus spiked once after I tried apple earbuds, but could it be different with some noise cancelling headphones maybe? There are certain things I just can't enjoy without them.

Any advice/general words of encouragement would be appreciated. I'm kind of at my wit's end right now, and have tried everything I can think of. I just want to enjoy my life again.

(also sorry for being so dramatic lol)

 

The advice was to Avoid loud environments, and not to go to loud environments as long as you wear earplugs.

See my comment above...

Unless your T is loud, there is a good chance that you will experience some degree of habituation around 18-24 months after the onset. So all you have to do is wait.

Everyone is different. For some people, it Can mean the end of the world. They are probably in the minority, and there is only one way to find out whether you are part of that group.

I've read posts made by people who said that their tinnitus became permanently louder following the use of headphones. However, this is probably rare - many people just get temporary spikes, and so they are able to stop in time. Other people never seem to get any spikes after using the headphones. Some of them might develop T worsening later on, but again they are the minority.

In any case, if wearing headphones is very important to you, you can try wearing them for 5 minutes several times (one time per day), and if you don't experience any problems, try increasing that time to 10 (6?) minutes per day, and so on. The slower you increase the the time, the safer you will probably be. If you get a spike and you are sure that it is due to the headphones, then stop wearing the headphones. You could then be more sure that there is a good reason for you to not be wearing headphones.

 

I'm responding because earbuds gave me tinnitus. I'm a distance runner and have always used earbuds while running. I woke up one morning and I had tinnitus on my left side. And it's not the mild kind like I have on my right side. It's severe and I don't wish it on anyone. Especially someone young like yourself. You have your whole life ahead of you and your ears are giving you a warning. Heed to it. Don't end up with a chance of severe tinnitus like me. I still run (did 9 today) but needless to say I don't wear earbuds or headphones any longer. You adjust to not wearing them. Believe it or not, there was a time when wearing earbuds was not the norm. But then having tinnitus is not the norm so we adjust.

As far as wearing earplugs at a concert, I now bring them with me whenever I go. I'll be seeing McCartney next week at Petco Park and you can be sure I'll have them with me. It's all about protecting the ears at this point. You never know who will either leave with tinnitus or soon get it.

As far as white noise, I use a pillow speaker (not a speaker pillow) which others around you don't hear. I used to recommend Pillow Sonic on Amazon but they changed and are not as good. I now use Sound Oasis. You get two speakers, they're decent sounding and they're in stereo.

Good luck with all your endeavors.
Mike

 

@Bill Bauer has given you some good advice and if I were you I would follow it.

@wonderful9235

I am an Audiophile and used to listen to music a lot through high quality headphones that eventually gave me tinnitus, because I listened at too high a volume without realising it. That was 23 years ago and I haven't used them since. The onset of your tinnitus was likely caused by headphones due to over use and listening at too high a volume without realising it as in my case. What you believe wasn't too high a volume probably was and this applies to many people that use headphones. I know how you feel as I got immense pleasure listening to music with headphones but you will get over this and you'll realise, in time that there are other ways to enjoy listening to music. There is so much going on around us in the world, it's really not important shutting yourself off and being immersed in music.

Your tinnitus had been coming on for some time but remained at a low level so easily masked by normal everyday sounds in the environment. When you plugged your ears with earplugs, this allowed your brain to focus on the internal sounds of your auditory system and almost immediately, it heard the tinnitus and latched onto it and doesn't want to let it go. This happens to everyone that becomes aware of tinnitus. As one habituates over time the brain no longer sees the tinnitus as a threat. The noise is slowly pushed into the background as unimportant and in many circumstances reduces in intensity.

The habituation process can be a complex one and is different for each person. Therefore, what I have outlined above is a generalisation that may not necessarily apply to everyone. However, habituation is still possible for the many people even if specialist treatment is required. I will place links below that I advise you to click on and read my posts as I think you will find them helpful.

Your Audiologist means well but in my opinion has given you the wrong advice. People with "noise induced" tinnitus or developed it through wearing headphones, headset, earbuds risk making the tinnitus worse if they continue using them even at low volume. It is true not everyone with NIT will adversely affected by headphones but the risk is there. Please be note, if your tinnitus spikes or starts to increase due to headphone use it is unlikely to reduce to is previous level.

I wish you well
Michael

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/the-habituation-process.20767/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/

 

Ask your doctors. I did.
I use headphones regularly, but I'm very disciplined when it comes to volume.

 

I saw McCartney last year, he and his band were amazing.

Yes you will need the earplugs especially for Live And Let Die! 3 booms, going into the 1st and 3rd choruses, and one at the very end. They are pretty loud, I had ER20s all the way in and I was fine.

:Edit: That was before my recent tinnitus spike caused by being unprotected at another concert. If I was to go again with my tinnitus I'd definitely use the 32dB foam plugs, or even leave the arena for that song.

Enjoy the show!