I Think I've Made It Worse!

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Elsz, Apr 22, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. Elsz
      Cheerful

      Elsz Member

      Location:
      Paris
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2012
      Hello!
      I'm 21 and I've had tinnitus for over 3 years now. When it first started I had an absolutely awful few months - I'm sure I don't have to elaborate on this. But then I got used to it. I didn't know the word habituation until this week but I found that that's exactly what I had managed to do. I'm not sure how long it took, I'd say by the 6-month mark I was 100% habituated. I was hardly ever consciously aware of it. It got to the point where it had no affect on my life apart from that I rarely listened to music through headphones anymore and if I did I was careful to keep the volume down as low as possible. I still went out to clubs and to the odd concert, I just wore earplugs.
      But then this weekend I think I did something really stupid. I went out to a club on Saturday night. The following evening I was exhausted because I hadn't got much sleep the night before and I'd been cycling most of the afternoon. But I couldn't get to sleep. I was really aware of my tinnitus. It hasn't affected my sleeping since those first few months. Then I realised I didn't remember putting in or taking out my earplugs the night before. Forgetting to put them in when I go out isn't something I've ever worried about before because no matter how drunk I am, I'm normally very wary of very loud sound. But I suspect I might have managed to do just that because I was distracted as we went in by the bouncer who didn't want to let me in because I was wearing flat shoes... And I feel like I was vaguely aware I was missing something as we went in but my friend distracted me again talking to me about the shoe thing...
      Of course the thought that I might have made it get louder made me panic so much that it was that keeping me up more than the sound itself. For the last few days I've been very aware of it at work and found it hard to concentrate. I've found myself slipping back into the old state of 'Can I hear it now? Can I hear it now? Could I always hear it over that?' and being really really aware of any smoderately loud sound...
      Obviously I'm absolutely kicking myself now. It might as well have not been there for all that it's bothered me for most of the past three years, and now I've gone and ruined that!
      Has anyone else been through anything similar after habituation and been able to rehabituate the same as before? Also, I kind of thought it's only possible for it to get louder and not quieter, but apparently it can fluctuate... Do you think it's at all possible that it might go down again?
      I'm fairly optimistic that if I can habituate once I can do it again, and it can't be much louder because after all, I didn't even notice anything different on Sunday during the daytime, so I've managed not to panic too much. But I think it's going to be a really difficult few weeks and I really wanted to speak to someone who understands. Because I've never really felt like I can talk to my family and friends about this. Wow, sorry this is so long!
       
    2. geg1992
      English

      geg1992 Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/12/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure + Antibiotics
      I'm sorry you've had to go through this again. :( You've got through it once, so what's to stop you getting through it again? Bare in mind that anxiety has a HUGE effect on tinnitus. When you've calmed down a bit you may find the volume goes down again and you habituate like last time. I believe there is some medication you should take which can help, I'm sure someone will be able to assist with that. It may even just be a spike, these are common with T sufferers and usually settle down to the baseline volume!

      All the best! :)
       
    3. Elsz
      Cheerful

      Elsz Member

      Location:
      Paris
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2012

      Thanks!
      That's what I've been telling myself, if I've done it once I can do it again! And it's nowhere near as bad as last time, this time I know it's possible to live with, and I'm used to living with it, I've already accepted it. But I feel like this time I might be waiting for it to go back to how it was a bit too much which won't help... It's hard not to be constantly trying to work out how much louder it's got... if of course it even has! It's hard to say as I don't remember the last time I actually listened to it before this week. Either way it's back on my mind and I have to habituate again. :/
      So can anxiety actually make it louder rather than just making you notice it more? And vice versa?
       
    4. James Brown
      Sporty

      James Brown Member

      Location:
      Portugal
      Tinnitus Since:
      09-1998
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposition
      T is made of ups and downs. Sometimes we have spikes. Sometimes it gets louder or your sense of perception is higher. I wouldn't worry too much about it since it looks you have a mild T. Since you stop worrying your T surely will go down.
      Now a piece of advice. Protection is really the key. Believe me, you don't want to deal with a T that can drive you crazy. With a few drinks or not, you must have the most care. I was in your situation for 15 years and now I have to deal with a noise that sometimes drives me crazy, and I am trying to cope for almost 3 years.
       
    5. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      I get scared of loud sounds making it worse.. You may have a temporary spike, so I suggest waiting it out or taking NAC as it could help.
       
    6. Elsz
      Cheerful

      Elsz Member

      Location:
      Paris
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2012
      I feel like I'm going to be ok, I already managed to sleep without any music on last night. I'm still aware of it quite a lot but I'm not letting it bother me too much. And it is still fairly mild! What has always been a fear since I got T is the future and it getting worse, because I've got (hopefully) many years ahead of me for this to happen, and I don't know how I could take loud T. So the thought that I've helped it along a bit is hard to take.

      Like I said, I never even imagined it was possible for me to forget about earplugs. It wasn't even about being drunk, because I've been drunk enough to barely remember a night before but I'm pretty sure that I never ever forgot to wear earplugs. It's hard to believe that I could go the whole night without realising as well, but I'm fairly sure that's what happened... In the future I will have to make sure someone else knows and doesn't let me forget.
       

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