Just Had to Talk

I've never been on a forum or such but I have reached a point that I feel its a good idea to talk it out.

As long as I can remember I've had ringing in my ears. I had numerous ear infections as a kid that may have caused this I'm guessing. I had a couple spills on the bike that knocked me unconscious when I was younger as well. I grew up in the 80's with loud music. I'm 50 years of age and I feel like this is getting worse. It seems to be really affecting my mood especially when I'm in doors. Loud noises are very frustrating and I have a short fuse when we all have to talk louder. Its not fair to my family that they have to deal with my problems and I feel regret afterwards but its very hard for everyone to understand. I wish we had a way to have someone listen to the tone or noise in my head for 15 minutes and share what I'm going through. When the dog barks it kills me. I can hear very well but with the ringing in my head.

I do have thoughts that its better to not be around so I don't have to affect my family with the mood swings. I'm very lucky that we have a great core of a family but I know it changes the perception they have of me. I'm fun one minute and next the wheels come off.

The turning point for me today was decorating the tree today and Christmas music was playing, everyone was talking and I tried to blend in but it became to much for me to handle. I ended up getting mad and short. I did take a break and went upstairs for a bit. I had a breakdown of crying and feeling frustrated for my family...this was new. I basically decided not to be part of the family.

I told my wife that I'm not looking for shelf pity but just very frustrated.

Thanks for the time,

Chris

 

Hi Chris,

Welcome aboard!

Some questions first. Have you been to an ENT lately to get your ears/hearing checked? Also, you may want to visit a professional therapist and have a talk with him or her about what is going on and how it is affecting your family.

Regarding your family, have you had a sit-down with them and told them that you have tinnitus and explained what it means and how it can affect some people?

 

Hi Chrissy, I joined this forum early this morning right after a major panic attack due to a bad head cold with both ears blocked solid and the ringing very loud. Trying to find a solution to my immediate problem I stumbled on this forum so I decided to read some of the posts. I then realized that I was not alone with some cases much worst than me. I was also amazed how most people pour their hearts out in this forum not holding anything back. My recommendation is to ask your family members to sit down and read some of these posts, it might help them to better understand what you are going through and explain why you can be so moody. I myself have been told more than once that I have a short fuse, it is very hard to make them understand. I just told my wife who I was writing to and told her your story to show her I am not alone and her reply was you should tell us ahead of time. She doesn't understand we don't mean to blowup, it just does. Hang in there.

 

My house is full of ear muffs - if I feel people get too loud or the car is too loud or the street, shopping mall, restaurant whatever situation is too loud I just slap my big peltor muffs on and issue solved !
I don't even bother with plugs much unless I'm in a business meeting or date where "looks" matter ...

I found it very stressing to have to worry about loud noise or expect people to pay attention to my condition . My t is from loud sound (firearms and loud music) only so that's about as much as I can do for the moment until we get better options .

 

Perhaps you can show them some videos on the sound of tinnitus as in these:

This one is from Tinnitus Hub which is affiliated with Tinnitus Talk:

Tinnitus Hub: Sounds of Tinnitus

Let them hear the one closer to yours (mine is like #9 but much higher pitch than that):
http://www.hearing.nihr.ac.uk/public/auditory-examples-sounds-of-tinnitus

 

Hi Chrissy,
A warm welcome to tinnitus talk.
It is hard to cope with tinnitus and the unwanted emotions that come along with it.
Lack of sleep and getting family and friends understand can be hard as they see us feeling down but not hear what we hear and that can impact on our talking and listening skills and our mood.
It would be a great support to come on here with family and know you are not alone with how you feel and what you hear.
Sound therapy at night can help played through the night set below your tinnitus .
Your brain will work hard pick up the lower sound you have chosen and push your tinnitus to the back ground.
In the day keep sound on around you and we are here around the clock for you.
Christmas can be stressful so make time out for yourself to relax and off load any stress.
Life with tinnitus will have up and downs till you adapt to it or it goes away but try push hard to stay positive and enjoy everything you can with a bit more effort as its easy to give up and let tinnitus win the day.
Emotions play a big part of tinnitus and both from the limbic part of the brain so you can see why they come together .
You will come through this as we can support you along with your doctor etc.
Have your ears checked and try stay calm and take time out when you need too and a good old cry is a emotional release to stop a big build up...lots of love glynis

 

Hi @Chrispy and welcome to the forum!
I have much difficulty with loud situations too so I understand where you are coming from. Family fun is loud and painful! I wear an earplug and a smile and do the best I can and when the party is over, I go immediately to bed to sleep and rest my ears. It doesn't help to be angry or to cry or to wish things were different. It helps to limit my exposure to loud events and to wrap myself in silence afterwards. I only attend the events in life that are very important to the people I really care about. Whenever I can, I choose quiet but I refuse to let tinnitus steal everything