Just Need to Vent a Little

[robertmaverick]

Hello all,

First I'd like to apologise for this thread. Nobody wants to hear more negativity from a fellow tinnitus sufferer, but I really feel I have to get this off my chest, because I have no one in my social circle with who I can talk about these issues.

I have tinnitus since 2012 after attending a particular loud concert. The ringing in your ears is something I experienced prior to that concert, but thought little of it. It always went away within a few hours. Unfortunately, not this time. The first few months were a living hell, as most of you can relate to I guess. I didn't live anymore, I just existed during that time. It was horrible. After a few months, though, I habituated and slowly but surely I dusted myself off and went on with life.

All went well, until march this year. I was walking with my family in the forest and I suddenly realised that I had difficulty hearing my family while they talked and somehow this set off the exact same anxiety as I had in the beginning stages of tinnitus. I scoured the Internet once again where this sudden hearing loss could come from, but of course, couldn't find a good answer. From march through april I've lived with that exact same anxiety as I used to have when it all started in 2012. What if I somehow made my hearing loss worse? What could have happened? Will my tinnitus get worse? Will I develop hyperacusis now? My life certainly must be over now, I'm f*cked. You probably know the drill

In the first week of may, when my anxiety was at a all time high (constantly feeling on edge, fidgety and a general unease) I developed a weird phenomena. When I hear certain sounds, like a car passing by, a fan, the wind or something like that, I hear a weird sound, like some sort of echo. As soon as the external sound is gone, so is the echo. This skyrocketed my anxiety and this has been going on until now. Its getting better (the extra hearing loss I thought I had just disappeared on its one, so I think it was more psychological than anything else), but I just feel so vulnerable. I know I will habituate again, I just know it. But sometimes it so super hard and I feel so alone in my struggles. Since the past few months I've been almost obsessed with following tinnitus research news, hoping that someday a cure or treatment will come that can bring me relief. This works counterproductive for the tinnitus, though, because you are constantly worrying and thinking of it.

Anyhow, this is all I can think of for now. Sorry again for my incoherent rambling, but it kinda feels good.

If you made it this far, thanks from the bottom of my heart for reading this. Knowing that there are Internet strangers out there that go through the exact same thing as I do makes me feel somewhat relieved.

-- Robert

 

[glynis]

Hi Robert,
Your welcome vent anytime and we are here around the clock to support you and with people who understand what your going through.
Love glynis

 

[billie48]

Hi Robert, welcome to the forum. Yes I have read our entire post and many members will too. Sure you are welcome to rant about T. Here you are never alone as most of us have been where you are, and fully understand your suffering with your tinnitus. T is a strange animal that it can morph over time especially when it is new or when it kicks into a new level. There will be a period of instability where it can morph, such as developing new tones, changing pitch, jumping between ears, developing ear fullness or something strange. Such unpredictability is what keeps this T tyranny going on us as our body tends to fear the unknown and will react traumatically or be in shock mode for a while. That hopefully will be a temporary situation as our body needs some time to get used to this new spin from T.

How is it that T can get us so worrying about it and thinking about it when it is new or when it aggravates to a new level or new condition? I explain this phenomenon in another thread so I copy it below:

"Being so scared or anxious about T initially is a very normal reaction of the body trying to protect us from harm and danger. We are often very scared when T is new or when it kicks up to a new level because T is both an alien sensation and a new ailment to your body. Our brain doesn't understand T and doesn't know what to expect. Failing to shake T, the brain just reactions in trauma and shock. Your limbic nervous system kicks in overriding the normal parasympathetic nervous system and you function in fight or flight mode, the defensive mechanism for a human in face of a danger. The fight or flight center or the Amygdala is in control now making every sensation quite acute and intense and you easily succumb to fear and worry as that is how the body tries to protect you. It tends to tell you to be aware of the threatening object which in this case is the new T. That is why we tend to monitor T non-stop initially and can't seem to help it.

Try remaining calm and positive as humanly possible as you can. By being calm and positive, and be more accepting of the new normal, by educating ourselves more about T (like what you are learning by joining this forum), and by doing some relaxing or interesting activities or by going back to living life again, our brain will have a better chance to restore the normal parasympathetic nervous system, and the pre-frontal cortex will take over processing the T ringing stimulus from the scare-crow center, the Amygdala. One of the functions of pre-frontal cortex is to suppress the fear reaction. It will also let you handle other negative reactions/emotions more normally.

This process is similar to a child being afraid of the dark because of not understanding what it is all about. Fear sets in and stress builds up and the child cries to get help and to relieve the stress. Later on and growing up the child learns more about the dark and the fear fades and no stress/fear will be forth coming to trigger the limbic system. Likewise with our tinnitus experience, our brain needs to take time to understand T more and be more hardened to it so the fear reaction will subside. But this process takes time and may take learning some good strategies. I mention some helpful strategies in my success story dealing with both severe T & H. Perhaps you can benefit by checking it out below."

So don't panic nor despair. Good life can be back. Believe it. Take good care. God bless your recovery.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[missingsilence]

Hi Robert,

Sorry to hear your struggling too, I hope you feel better soon. I've had some real lows with this (mine also got permanently louder) but with time and support it should get better or more bearable is what I've been told. Feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone.

Side note, have you had an audiogram done?

 

[Kolisar]

Hi Robert,

Welcome. I am sorry to learn of your suffering. Tinnitus is a miserable affliction. It can cause people to hide themselves from their normal lives. It is also difficult for people who do not suffer from this to understand. Many of us here find ourselves feeling alone because our friends and families cannot understand what were are going through.

Fortunately, you found this forum. As has been stated in previous replies, you are not alone. We are here for you. We understand what you are going through and will always listen. Feel free to vent, I know I have posted a lot of that I feel is just inherent rambling, yet it has always been responded to with kindness, sympathy, compassion, and support.

And, just to let you know, your life is not over because of Tinnitus, or even if you develop Hyperacusis. Many of us have been suffering with tinnitus for a very long time. Some of us have even been driven to very drastic measures to escape the constant torment. But, we continue. We push through. And, with this forum, we have a place where we can get the support to help us keep going. There is hope. Read through the success stories, many people eliminate their tinnitus, and even more learn to habituate (basically ignore it, or learn to not have it bother them as much). It is possible to return to a normal life.

Don't give up. And, do not apologize for expressing your feelings. We have all been there.

Hang in there.

I wish you well and hope you find what you need here.

 

[robertmaverick]

Thanks for all the replies. I checked in on this thread last friday, but decided not to reply and stay off this forum to give myself some space to calm down.

Hi Robert, welcome to the forum. Yes I have read our entire post and many members will too. Sure you are welcome to rant about T. Here you are never alone as most of us have been where you are, and fully understand your suffering with your tinnitus. T is a strange animal that it can morph over time especially when it is new or when it kicks into a new level. There will be a period of instability where it can morph, such as developing new tones, changing pitch, jumping between ears, developing ear fullness or something strange. Such unpredictability is what keeps this T tyranny going on us as our body tends to fear the unknown and will react traumatically or be in shock mode for a while. That hopefully will be a temporary situation as our body needs some time to get used to this new spin from T.

How is it that T can get us so worrying about it and thinking about it when it is new or when it aggravates to a new level or new condition? I explain this phenomenon in another thread so I copy it below:

"Being so scared or anxious about T initially is a very normal reaction of the body trying to protect us from harm and danger. We are often very scared when T is new or when it kicks up to a new level because T is both an alien sensation and a new ailment to your body. Our brain doesn't understand T and doesn't know what to expect. Failing to shake T, the brain just reactions in trauma and shock. Your limbic nervous system kicks in overriding the normal parasympathetic nervous system and you function in fight or flight mode, the defensive mechanism for a human in face of a danger. The fight or flight center or the Amygdala is in control now making every sensation quite acute and intense and you easily succumb to fear and worry as that is how the body tries to protect you. It tends to tell you to be aware of the threatening object which in this case is the new T. That is why we tend to monitor T non-stop initially and can't seem to help it.

Try remaining calm and positive as humanly possible as you can. By being calm and positive, and be more accepting of the new normal, by educating ourselves more about T (like what you are learning by joining this forum), and by doing some relaxing or interesting activities or by going back to living life again, our brain will have a better chance to restore the normal parasympathetic nervous system, and the pre-frontal cortex will take over processing the T ringing stimulus from the scare-crow center, the Amygdala. One of the functions of pre-frontal cortex is to suppress the fear reaction. It will also let you handle other negative reactions/emotions more normally.

This process is similar to a child being afraid of the dark because of not understanding what it is all about. Fear sets in and stress builds up and the child cries to get help and to relieve the stress. Later on and growing up the child learns more about the dark and the fear fades and no stress/fear will be forth coming to trigger the limbic system. Likewise with our tinnitus experience, our brain needs to take time to understand T more and be more hardened to it so the fear reaction will subside. But this process takes time and may take learning some good strategies. I mention some helpful strategies in my success story dealing with both severe T & H. Perhaps you can benefit by checking it out below."

So don't panic nor despair. Good life can be back. Believe it. Take good care. God bless your recovery.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

This is unbelievable. Thanks for your story, its really inspiring!

Hi Robert,

Sorry to hear your struggling too, I hope you feel better soon. I've had some real lows with this (mine also got permanently louder) but with time and support it should get better or more bearable is what I've been told. Feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone.

Side note, have you had an audiogram done?

I did a few years ago, no hearing loss. For now, I have no reason to suspect my hearing deteriorated, so I don't have a recent audiogram (last one in 2014).

Hi Robert,

Welcome. I am sorry to learn of your suffering. Tinnitus is a miserable affliction. It can cause people to hide themselves from their normal lives. It is also difficult for people who do not suffer from this to understand. Many of us here find ourselves feeling alone because our friends and families cannot understand what were are going through.

Fortunately, you found this forum. As has been stated in previous replies, you are not alone. We are here for you. We understand what you are going through and will always listen. Feel free to vent, I know I have posted a lot of that I feel is just inherent rambling, yet it has always been responded to with kindness, sympathy, compassion, and support.

And, just to let you know, your life is not over because of Tinnitus, or even if you develop Hyperacusis. Many of us have been suffering with tinnitus for a very long time. Some of us have even been driven to very drastic measures to escape the constant torment. But, we continue. We push through. And, with this forum, we have a place where we can get the support to help us keep going. There is hope. Read through the success stories, many people eliminate their tinnitus, and even more learn to habituate (basically ignore it, or learn to not have it bother them as much). It is possible to return to a normal life.

Don't give up. And, do not apologize for expressing your feelings. We have all been there.

Hang in there.

I wish you well and hope you find what you need here.

Thank you for your kind words!

Hi Robert,
Your welcome vent anytime and we are here around the clock to support you and with people who understand what your going through.
Love glynis

Thank you Glynis, I appreciate it.