Kind of bummed ...

Discussion in 'Support' started by Kathi, Apr 28, 2014.

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    1. Kathi

      Kathi Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      HFHL and stress
      Since the onset of my T I've met others with T at work. Three really have to listen for their T to hear it so I don't think they have persistent T--and they've all had it for a long time--it has no effect on their lives--even though one did go to a neurologist and ENT. They drink coffee and red wine --never even think about it. Another person got it about a six months before me and is trying to habituate. The one that has me bummed is a woman who has had it for 30 years and she hears it as soon as she sees me because she knows I have T! All she has to do is have it mentioned and she's totally aware. I really don't understand what habituation is. Sometimes I think I do and I'm optimistic but lately, not so much. It's getting me down--maybe because it's spiking for two days.

      I'm still keeping on--went out socially on Friday night and didn't notice my T too much. My reaction is still much better. I get annoyed but I'm not afraid anymore. I see my CBT this week so that's a good thing. I think I'll talk all this over with him to see if my expectations are out of line.

      Hope you are all doing well.
    2. awbw8

      awbw8 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Hey @Kathi, I think the fact that you're annoyed now and not scared anymore as you said is a sign that you are habituating. At least that's how it went for me. Also, you're only about 6 months in, at some point I stopped thinking about whether or not I was habituating or not, but I'd say it took me 9-12 months to be what I would call habituated. For some people it takes more or less time, but be patient with yourself and recognize that you are taking steps and your body is taking steps towards habituation of which you aren't even aware. You will get there!

      Also, you friend who has had it for 30 years and thinks of it when she sees you, I wouldn't let that get you down. Habituated people still think of T, we can still hear it and certain people or things might even remind us of it. Example, since I've only had it a year, the spring weather reminded me of my T because last spring this is all I could think about. However, it's not a traumatic experience for me to hear my T now, it's just there.

      Focus on the things you can control (CBT and a psychologist is great - I have one I've been talking to for about 7 months), do things that calm you and make you happy. Habituation will happen when you're focusing on life :)
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    3. billie48

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      great point awbw8. It is great that those people can hear their T even after so long when T is being mentioned and yet their life is not impacted by T one way or the other. Most of the time they are not even aware of T until some one mentions it. That is why I say T veterans here have a dilemma, to leave or not to leave. They are not bothered though even if they are reminded of T daily. But to be like some of those habituated people who normally don't get reminded of T, they cannot really get that by staying. However, seeing some new sufferers getting better and less suffering is all worth it.
    4. Valentin

      Valentin Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      it's very easy, in normal environement her T is mixed with other sounds so she doesn't really hear it, but when she sees you, she's able to isolate her T from other sounds.
    5. MattK

      MattK Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Actually Kathi, I think you should be encouraged by this. I mean, what you've just said is that you know people with tinnitus who are able to function and live happy lives and enjoy things they like, such as wine & coffee (hopefully not in the same glass!). Their tinnitus doesn't prevent them from enjoying themselves. And as for the lady with T for over 30 years, the only time she notices it is when she sees you only because she knows you have it. Wouldn't it be great if 99% of the time we don't even notice T until something specifically draws our attention to it?

      Also, it's one thing to be aware, but it's another thing to be bothered. If it doesn't bother you, then it's not that big of a deal, right? Eventually you will get to a point where it doesn't bother you. Not that you won't care, but it won't bother you. Then as you get on with your life, the more you'll realize that tinnitus just isn't worth thinking about much. Today I spent a great deal not even thinking about my tinnitus and I wasn't even aware of it. But of the times I stopped to think about it, I definitely could hear that it is there.

      I think you should be encouraged. Every time you get discouraged, remind yourself that you still go to work, that you still have friends, you still can do anything you want. Remind yourself that others you know that have tinnitus don't let it stop them from enjoying themselves. But don't just do this every once in a while, but practice doing this constantly. Dwell on the positive thoughts. Literally dwell on them.
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