The last couple of days I've been trying hard to make positive changes, I've got an interview coming up for a great job, getting back into dating, cleaned up and organized my stuff, shaved and got a good haircut, basically just wanted to start making some positive steps forwards but mentally I feel like I'm slipping. Today I perceived a spike (I was afraid the barbershop was too loud, doubt it though) but since the T fluctuates semi-regularly I couldn't tell if it was just me. What I do know is that I spent most of the day looking for it in every situation like I did in the first week, and when I find it it's like getting punched in the gut, and that scares me. I feel like the final step for me to get my life back T or no T is to give up the fear of it getting louder somewhere down the line but with days like these it's sooo hard to see that. On the bright side I saw my audiologist and I don't have any hearing damage. What I realized recently is that I had strained my neck really bad just before the onset so now that's my guess as to the cause of all this. Hopefully after some physical therapy I'll be in a better place.