Mine Is Killing Me!

Hi,

Don't really know what else to say. Today it's so loud that I do feel like ending it all. Thoughts of family stop me though.

Peace.

 

I'm sorry to hear that Terry. It's really tough.

What do you usually do to cope when you're in this state? Thinking about family seems like a great start.
My close friends and family are overseas, so unfortunately I have to rely on Skype to get their support when my mind goes to those places. Distractions sometimes works, sometimes it doesn't. I was prescribed Xanax which does a decent job of calming me down, alongside some meditation. Have you spoken to your GP about what steps you could take? I'll be seeing mine next week to see if he can refer me to a therapist.

 

Been there numerous times since getting tinnitus. I live alone, but my family is still the biggest thing that keeps me from killing myself or worse.

How did you get your tinnitus?

 

Thank you both for reaching out.

When it's this bad I don't really cope. I become very emotional, pace up and down and feel dreadful. I've been to my GP who informed me, "It's a neurological disorder, brought on through stress, that manifests itself in tinnitus." I got that bad that on another visit to the GP's I broke down and was prescribed Sertraline, which is an anti-psychotic. The side-effects of Sertraline were unknown to me at the time. Had I known, I wouldn't have accepted the prescription. I'm currently on Beta-Histenes which appear to do not a lot to nothing.

It came on all of a sudden. As I say in my profile, "I remember thinking, whoa, this is what tinnitus suffers must have, man I wouldn't wish this on anyone permanently. It hasn't stopped since.

I do have an ENT appointment for the 23rd of this month. I'm crossing everything I can hoping that they will find that the cause of this is something easily rectified like perhaps posture, or waxy deposits.

If not, my career is over, as I work in the audio industry. I hardly venture out. I can't sleep normally. It's relentless.

Totally, totally devastated.

Peace.

 

@Terry1971
Terry, did you used to listen to music or other audio through headphones or attend places where music is played loud?
Michael

 

I lost everything I loved, the only thing i found joy in, and the closest thing I could call a career to this crap (t + H + reactive T) I don't know what to tell you as I still struggle with suicidality on a near daily basis. To be honest I still hold on to hope that it will get completely better, 8 months after the single and horrible acoustic trauma. Beyond that I don't know. I suppose we must find other things to live for. I have developed somewhat of a spiritual side with this. Don't know what else to say.

 

@SilverSpiral I was medically retired from my job because of tinnitus some years ago. I wasn't pushed out by my employer they done a lot to help me. Had a pay settlement and a pension etc. My tinnitus can be severe at times but I look at the positive things in my life and focus on that even in the down times. Life is problematic and everyone goes through difficult times rich, poor or indifferent if there is such a thing.....

 

Would you perhaps feel a bit worse if your condition was directly caused by the foolish and negligent actions of others, and you received no financial or medical help for your condition? And you were living by struggling to provide food for yourself on a day by day basis, let alone finding the money for the supplements which you pray may improve your condition, but have NO mainstream medical efficacy for? and you have already lost the ability to pay for your cellphone and you take care of your mother which you live with and struggle each day to provide housing for? and that your father physically abused you and your mother and created this whole situation. In which you regret every day putting any effort into a passion which involved your hearing, but it was the only thing you enjoyed in this world? In a world which has labeled you as autistic and you have never had friends in real life and the only way you had with connecting with other people in music, and fortunately had found some success in that, by being part of an out of state music label, and now that that is gone all you have left to sink back into the 19 years of physical and mental abuse that your father did to you, and the only thing you found solace in is music, and now that is taken away from you and all you have to do is sink back into all those years of torment while your mother goes with you, and she doesnt event understand what happend and how it is affecting you?

 

@SilverSpiral I am sorry to hear of your situation but as I said: life is problematic and some people get more than their fare share there is no doubt about that. I hope that you are able to get some help with whatever you need and I do empathize with your circumstances there is no doubt you have gone through a lot of difficulty....

 

Understand that I'm not looking for sympathy or trying to drain others of their positivity or otherwise. I am here with my experience and my reality, and sometimes I go on and say too much I can't help it. I appreciate your words and everybody with their experience condition and i am trying to help others when i can, but sometimes i worry that even my existance and situation may bring others down.

 

There is nothing wrong in relaying out how you feel because any understanding person would know sometimes it's the best way to release all the pent-up pressure that's inside and it's better to let it out and set It free.....

 

Even this though, this is someone elses thread, so I feel I should be helping them. But at the same time i think the person who made this thread also made music, or even makes music, maybe they can keep doing it with their symptoms without it worsening. I hope they see that while there may not be a direct answer or cure, we are all hoping and striving to improvement. For instance the thread creator says they work directly in music? Have they experienced a recent notable severe acoustic trauma? If not their prognosis may be more optimistic. If not they should look into the supplements available that I am trying to take as soon as possible. Magnesium, zinc, coq-10. and what I have recently learned about Ataxanthia. You can see my post history for more details. If your cause is not acoustic trauma, and if it is wax or infection, than lucky for you you have a much better prognosis than most of us. Unfortunately for acoustic trauma the cures are scarce. I wish my doctors would have told me about such supplements earlier it sounds like Ataxanthia can help within early phase. My doctor would not even refer me to an ENt but he was retiring the month i had the acoustic trauma. by my country it took over 2 months to see ENT, one which had no answers or knowledge of acoustic trauma, and referred me to another ENT, then that ENT knew of my condition well, and by that time i was taking several supplements i read about here. He said he heard of all the supplement possibly helping but he could not officially "vouch" for their efficacy. He did say 1 third of people on average recover. Just today I have learned about Ataxanthia which sounds most hopeful of all supplements. I hope it can help me 8 months post, but for the thread creator, they can learn from my unfortunate situation, and start taking such supplements sooner if it is advisable due to their condition. Best of Health!

 

@SilverSpiral May I ask when did your tinnitus start and what caused it?

 

Sorry, I feel really embarassed about my posts in this thread, but I hope the thread creator can see from them, that either, your tinnitus is caused by reasons such as wax or infection which are treatable, but if not, or if you've 2mexperienced acoustic trauma, or long term noise exposure, the only "treatment" may be avoiding any loud sound for a long while, and possibly taking some supplements, all of which have only "some" proven efficacy in improving hearing after hearing damage.

@Michael Leigh Pm'd