My Story — Tinnitus Faded After 2 Months, However I Messed Up Again...

Hi everyone,

I am from the Netherlands and I first got real tinnitus in April 2019.

I would like to share my story.

PRE-TINNITUS

In hindsight I always had very mild tinnitus since childhood. I didn't even know I have it and it didn't bother me at all. When I was in bed I heard a faint noise from what I thought was a water running through the heating pipelines of the house. I didn't even pay attention to it. I also had a very high pitched noise as if an old CRT-TV was switched on down stairs. It was not loud and I thought it was normal. Only when I discovered that the noise wasn't from our TV I was slightly shocked, but because I didn't know better that didn't bother me as well. I even thought it must be normal and most people have it.

Fast forward to my late 30's. My right ear would sometimes be a little bit more noisy. I couldn't really make out what kind of noise. Sometimes it would annoy me a bit but it wasn't really bothering me yet. My right ear also developed a soft whistling sound, which bothered me a bit for about a month but after that I didn't mind about it. I could listen to it without any emotional reaction.

I was the kind of person that went clubbing and go to festivals without ear protection. But no one really did. I never really knew that it was so bad for the ears. I would also listen to loud music through my earbuds at work. Not everyday, but sometimes a week in a row.

2018: THE EARLY SIGNS

In fall 2018 I started to wake up in the middle of the night with ringing ears. It would be a bit louder and more complex sounding. I didn't understand why, because I couldn't remember any noise incident that might have caused it.
I started to have these nightly "tinnitus attacks" once or twice a month. The first time it caused me to panic, but everytime I was fine again in the morning. I was puzzled though. Could it be because of my nose which has a slight deviated septum and is blocked a lot of the time? Could it be sleep apnea? In hindsight I think it might be a delayed reaction to music over headphones a few days before.

APRIL 2019: HORRIBLE TINNITUS

In April 2019 I bought some wood to make a bench in the garden. I worked on it every Saturday. To cut the wooden planks I used a very loud circle saw. I did this for 3 Saturdays. There were no problems.
But then a week after that on the fourth Saturday, I woke up in the middle of the night with VERY LOUD HIGH PITCHED NOISE in both my ears. It was like the old CRT-TV sound, but only like 10 times louder. The next day it was still there. I could hear it over everything. I didn't really realize what was going on and walked around with this horrible sound until I collapsed mentally two weeks later. I was in total panic.
In the next month I was a mess. And often when I went to sleep I would wake up in the middle of the night with a tinnitus attack where it got even worse. This happened three times, but within 24 hours it would go back to the loud high pitched noise. I could hear it everywhere, also because it was such a high pitch: outside, in the supermarket, in the car, in the forest, while watching TV.

JUNE 2019: GETTING BETTER AGAIN AFTER

In June I got days where the tinnitus would first go from a solid noise to an intermittent morse style noise. And then a day later it would fade to a much softer noise. I was ecstatic! I thought it was gone.
But then the day after it would come back.
But luckily, the good days became more and I got less bad days! I was getting better.
This fading started after 1.5 months.
I only had a bit of a faint sharp high pitched tone in my right ear which became louder if when I chewed food. But I was happy, I could live like this.
And I became more lucky. The chewing-tinnitus faded as well! Once in a while it would come back for a day, but I was glad that the majority of time it was silent again!

OCTOBER 2019: ONE MONTH SPIKE

Late October for some reason I got a spike. God knows why. I admit that I started listening to my 5.1 home cinema quite loud again sometimes. And listening to music sometimes.
Of course I was in total panic again. But after roughly 1 month things got better again.

JANUARY 2020: THIS TIME ITS FOR REAL?

Of course I had to throw a new years party and get drunk and listen to my neighbours fire crackers! Yay!
Next day: January 1st I had a hangover. Nothing out of the ordinary.
January 2nd: my tinnitus came back! I was a bit disappointed, but I thought this was just another bad day.
And of course the longer it lasted, the more I would freak out.
I started to get really depressed. Was this my last chance. Did I mess things up for good?
Also weird new noises would start to join in. Lower high pitched tones around 5000 Hz. They would do weird things like go up and down in pitch. As if my brain was calibrating the sound or something.
I also got a new whistle sound on and off like a human whistling in my left ear.
I would listen to it and try to make sense out of all of this.

MID FEBRUARY

Of course I would tell myself it would not be chronic and I had to wait 3 months. And somewhere mid February things started to get better again. The CRT noise faded. The other noises as well. They were still there but much more in the background. I started to be optimistic again.
Until that same Sunday I attended a birthday party. There was no loud music, but there were a lot of people talking. An I was talking for half an hour with someone and we had to raise our voice a bit to hear each other. I felt that somehow this was not so good for me and I would also get fleeting tinnitus in my right ear during the conversation.
The day after that my tinnitus was back again. I was a bit surprised, because the party was not THAT loud.
I was depressed again.

I would have a couple of good days MID MARCH and in the beginning of this month, where my highest pitched noise would fade again. The other most bothering noise is a 5000 Hz beep in my right ear, which is just about audible when I'm walking outside. At night it becomes bothering.

NOW

So now I'm 3.5 months in. And the last 10 days has been constant CRT noise, which I can hear over everything, because of it pitch. It seems to come from inside my head. And the 5000 Hz tone I hear slightly softer under it in my right ear.

I also have about 6 other low pitched tones left and right, but they don't bother me really. The are very faint.

At the moment I am a bit depressed. And I think I might be in for the long run. I am putting a lot of emotional strain on myself and my family.
Is this ever going to fade again?

Thank you for reading my story. I hope it was not too long. And I hope someone can give me some advice.

Kind regards,
Walker123

 

Short update after 4 months:

I waited a while before posting this update, because most of you know, things can turn around on a daily basis.

I can't say if the tinnitus is any less in actual volume. But the good news is that mentally it's going much better now.

The ultra high-pitched hiss does come and go. Sometimes it's gone for 2 day, but now, while I'm typing it it's here. I don't care about it so much because I know it will go away again.
The other 5000 hz high pitched tone is still there but it I can keep it out of my focus quite well. Possibly because the volume of this tone doesn't exceed background noise (much). When it's quiet it gets louder, but I don't care about it so much any more. It used to drive me mad. When it's quiet my overall head-noise is quite annoying, but I don't think about it and just ignore it and then I forget about it.

I am a bit worried about the future. I know that further hearing damage will probably make T louder. I am carefull with my hearing now, but accidents are inevitable. It's part of life. So I just don't think about it and enjoy the fact that I have my life back now.

In hindsight, things started to get better when I chose not to focus on my suffering, but instead focus on life. And also allow yourself to enjoy things. Ignore the voice that says: "I can't enjoy like normal people because I have tinnitus". Just allow yourself to enjoy something. And focus on the things that deserve your attention in life.
I consider my T moderate level (did have severe period during the onset last year).

I am not writing this because I want to, but because I promised myself to give something back to this forum, after reading it for a year. The better I feel, the less I visit this site. But I will come back to report changes once in a while.

 

HI @Walker123

It is good to know you are making some improvement and hope this continues. I have some suggestions that might be of help to you. Although it reads on your Avatar cause of tinnitus unknown, I am fairly certain you have Noise induced tinnitus. Caused by listening to loud music at clubs which resulted in you experiencing tinnitus and also using earbuds while listening to music at high volume levels. These are common causes of Noise induced tinnitus.

I suggest that you stop using headphones, earbuds or headset even at volume. Try and see an Audiologist that specialises in tinnitus and hyperacusis treatment and management. Please click on the links below and read my posts, that I think will be of help.

All the best
Michael

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/new-to-tinnitus-what-to-do.12558/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/

 

No use in worrying. Sure, be careful with the ears, but live life while you enjoy it. Otherwise, íf it ever gets worse, you will just have wasted a lot of years worrying for it, while there was nothing you could do about it.

 

Hi Michael, thank a lot for the links! The information is very useful.

I agree totally.

 

Hi all, short update,

It has been almost 8 months now since my tinnitus returned.

I took quite good care of my ears and my T faded to a level where it was very good tolerable and I didn't care about it anymore.

And if you really don't care anymore, you know what happens: I stopped caring about my ears and stopped protecting them. I also started listening to music again and didn't use my earplugs anymore in noisy environments.

As a result my T seems a bit louder lately. Sometimes it bothers me, but I notice that I forget about it everytime. And then I tell myself: if I forget about it, then it isn't worth worrying about it anyway.

I also notice that I find other problems in life more important now. In the beginning of this year all problems seemed nothing compared to T. So that's good news.

I'll probably won't visit this forum much anymore. Unless my T gets much louder. Otherwise you can assume I got used to it and moved on.

 

For the second time?!?

 

Yeah, I know. I can't help myself. Sometimes I have absolutely no self control.
My T is becoming quite bothersome again. So now I am swithing back to "careful mode" again. Earplugs and everything.

When (or if) I get used to this again and begin caring less, I'm sure I will make the same mistakes again. Of course I will try not to, but I know myself by now. It just takes 1 weak moment to screw up. And I can't stay sharp 100% of the time. Especially when beer is involved.

 

Sometimes I have no self-control. But tinnitus is so horrible that it's easy to be in self-control if that means reducing the chance of getting louder tinnitus...

 

Hmmm, there is a relatively straight forward solution for that! Just to mention, I used to like my beer, but some kind of strange health issues (CFS) brought me to a point of "alcohol intolerance". In short, if I had even a single beer, I could be heavily hung over for 3-4 days. It didn't take too much calculus to discern it would probably be best for me to quit drinking. Might the calculus be similar to your tinnitus situation? Only you can say. I haven't had an alcoholic beverage in 30+ years, and don't miss it in the least. -- Good luck staying sharp!

 

I agree. But I have been doing quite well for the past two months or so. I also gained more confidence being in noisy environments, because my tinnitus seemed to be quite stable. And then first you start listening to music again carefully. And then the next week when you drank six beers or so and you discover an awesome musical track, you keep on cranking up the volume.

A faint voice in the back of your head says: "Watch it, this is louder than usual". But because you had been doing well and you gained confidence and especially your judgement and sense of danger is clouded being tipsy. And any negative thoughts are dismissed and replaced with: "I am enjoying the moment". Very stupid, as I found out yet again.

I hope this time I have learned from it. My tinnitus has been quite bothersome for about two weeks now and I hope it will reduce back to what it was again. On the other hand, during my whole tinnitus ordeal I've learned that no one knows if the spike will subside again and I am just going to take things as they are. I am not beating myself up about my behaviour and I don't look back to the past. I will try again to get my focus away from tinnitus and move on. And I hope I have definitely learned my lesson for the future now.

I have to add: the music was loud, but not as loud as in a dance club. I listened for about an hour. Of course no one knows if this was really the cause of my spike. I assume it.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you have CFS. I hope you can find a cure. And I also hope then you won't start drinking again

 

That statement seems to be the equivalent of saying "I gained more confidence in not practicing hygiene - I picked up food from a filthy floor and ate it and nothing happened." Now that you've had tinnitus, your ears have most likely been compromised. The risk that exposure to noisy environments will backfire is non-negligible. This is especially true during your first 1-3 years. Perhaps after 3 years it might not be insane to experiment with some limited exposures.

Note the above is my personal opinion which is based on what I learned reading this forum and on my personal experiences. If you want me to post quotes of horror stories where people took risks that didn't work out for them, please let me know. It is certainly the case that there are others on this forum who have taken your approach. Things worked out for some of them, and haven't worked out well at all for others.
Ok, just to give you a taste of those horror stories:

The good news is that most spikes are temporary. But surely a spike is a signal that your actions haven't been promoting your healing.

 

Thanks Bill Bauer for holding up the mirror.

Yesterday I had a bad day where I was focussing all day on my tinnitus again. I hope this spike will settle down again.
Before this I was doing pretty well.
My plan is to cope with it again like I did earlier. From now on I will do everything I can to protect my ears from more harm. And then I hope things will improve.

 

Don't beat yourself up too much for being unable to not focus on it. Unless tinnitus fades, it can take years to be able to begin to ignore it.

Hopefully you will begin to see positive changes after a month or two. What I learned is that it makes sense to do what feels right. Give each approach about two months, and if you experience fading, stick with that approach. Conversely, if some approach results in a spike, stop the approach right away. You might try it again after a year of healing, but it makes sense to be careful with an approach that has already generated what seems to be negative feedback.

In my experience, its impossible to not make mistakes. So that means that most mistakes aren't "fatal", although it could take what feels like a long time for one to return to one's baseline after a mistake.

 

Hi good news,

The last 2 days my tinnitus is gradually returning back to baseline. Now it even seems quieter than baseline. I was pretty depressed about it and now I feel good again.

Certain sounds do make it spike shortly, like hair trimmer, blender (in the kitchen), frying food in a pan. But those mini-spikes subside after like 5 minutes. I feel like my brain is trying to kill the tinnitus again.

At the moment I am doing well. I know things can change for no reason. Especially the high pitched tinnitus can suddenly start again and stay there for at least ten days. But for now I am happy.

So to summarize everything: my tinnitus started about 1 year and 5 months ago. It was very loud, but subsided to almost nothing in about 2 months. About 11 months ago I had a spike which lasted for more than 2 weeks and the it subsided again. 9 months ago (new years eve) my tinnitus came back due to new noise trauma from fireworks and loud music. This time it took much longer, like 6 months or so, before I noticed improvement. Baseline went up a level since new years eve. As I said, since my most recent spike I am now 2 days back to baseline and if it stays like this, habituating won't be hard.

In the past I did try supplements (ginkgo, megnesium) etcetera, but it makes no difference. I think people who think that helped, would have also gotten better without it.

I think general health is the only thing that really helps. When I am healthy and rested I can cope with T much better.

A big no-no for me is alcohol combined with sound/music.

I will keep writing here whenever something changes.

 

By ignoring the signals from your body and exposing yourself to those noises, you are taking a risk. One day they might not subside.

I am glad that things have been working out for you. Please keep in mind that usually we are given only a limited number of second chances.

 

Hi all, another update on my tinnitus progress. I am doing well now

After my last post the tinnitus started to weigh heavy on me and I was quite depressed about it. I am not going to make this a long story. I could make it very long if I go into all the details.

I can say that I am starting to get my life back. I still have good and bad tinnitus days and I realize that I wil always have noise in my head, but lately I am starting to care less about it. I am not depressed now. Actually I feel quite happy for a while now. My tinnitus can still be very loud sometimes, but after noticing it, I forget about it quickly. And most of the time it becomes less intrusive after a while but I don't care so much. I am starting to get more familiar with the spikes etcetera. It has been a whole psychological process to get where I am now. I lost hope many times. I can't really explain the process but I think there's no shortcut. Everyone who has this condition must find his/her own way to deal with it.

I don't use any kind of masking. When I walk outside I hear it. It used to freak me out but now I think differently of it: I think: I know it's there, it's still the same, nothing important and it just disappears from my attention. In bed I don't mask. I listen to all the tones in my head (8 or more) and then my thoughts drift to other subjects just like anyone without tinnitus.

Maybe in a few weeks my state will change, like it has many times. But for this moment I can say: I have my life back and there is hope.

 

Hi All,

This is another update. I am going to keep this short.

As you all know recovery from tinnitus goes with ups and downs.

About a month and a half ago I go a bit depressed about my tinnitus. I started to focus on it too much again and I was forgotten how I learned to cope with it. I started to have negative thoughts like: why did this happen to me etcetera. You know how it is.
That lasted for about a week or two, until I started to feel better again. I think it was just a small bump in the road on the way back to living a normal life.

My tinnitus is stil the same and I don't expect it to get any better anymore.

But I can honestly say that most of the time I am not thinking of it and it doesn't bother me anymore. The other normal problems of life are important again Sometimes I even want to trade them for my tinnitus, because I think the other problem is worse Even though 80% of the time I have loud tinnitus. I can hear it over most background noises even in a crowded supermarket. The other 20% of the time the noise audible over moderate daytime background noise.

I didn't feel like coming back to this forum, because tinnitus is not so important anymore. I, like most other people only feel like posting a message, when there is something to complain about.

So long story short: All is well. I still have loud tinnitus, but it doesn't trigger my feelings anymore. And if it does, I forget about it again in a few minutes.

 

Hi, quick update again.

For some reason my mood and ability to cope with my tinnitus keeps changing all the time.
The first week of February I felt a bit depressed about it. I had 2 "good" tinnitus days that week 6/10 instead of 8,5/10.

The second and third week I was doing fine again. And my tinnitus was lower 6/10.
The last week of February my tinnitus went up again to 8,5/10 and until now I am down and focussed on it. Normally I am able to wait out the spike/fluctuation, but it has been 10 days now. I thought myself not to wait and just live my life, but it's still difficult.

It has been one year and two months since my last worsening of tinnitus and I am still not used to it.
How long will this struggle take?

I can behave normal and function at home and at work. I am thankful for that, but I hope that my mind permits me to keep on functioning well under the constant burden of this.

I am also starting to look for causes why my tinnitus spiked. I did throw garbage in a big container. A few stones which fell on a stone pot that broke and made loud cracking and cluttering noise. But that was only 5 seconds or so. I still think this spike is a normal fluctuation. A week ago I stopped drinking beer and started to exercise again, hoping it helps.

 

Hi, quick update.

Actually, the day when I wrote my previous update was the last day that I didn’t feel good. Since then I’ve been well.

My tinnitus has been up and down, but the past few weeks my attention shifted off it again and I’ve been living normally.

I am still wondering why sometimes my brain focuses on tinnitus a lot and sometimes it doesn’t.

I’ll just enjoy this for as long as it lasts. I do hear my tinnitus, but then I quickly think of something else. And it is working. I can enjoy quiet activities like this now.

I do expect some bumps on the road, but overall I do feel I am making progress. It’s becoming more normal.

 

Goed bezig, veel beterschap!

 

Hoi @Johan001! Dank je, en jij ook beterschap!

Ik heb ook een paar berichten van jou gelezen en ik zie dat je best wel in de put zit door je tinnitus. Als je het niet erg vind wil ik je vertellen wat bij mij het best helpt.
Ik heb geen controle over mijn tinnitus.

Wat bij mij helpt als ik me niet goed voel, is dingen doen waar ik wel controle over heb: gezonder eten, meer naar buiten, afleiding zoeken, op tijd naar bed (al slaap je niet goed). Een goed ritme houden (vroeg op). Jezelf goed verzorgen (douchen en aankleden enzo). Als je algehele gezondheid beter word, word je vermogen om met erge dingen om te gaan ook sterker.

Ik heb nu een doel gesteld: makkelijk 5 kilometer kunnen hardlopen in 3 maanden. Natuurlijk heb je ook tijd nodig om überhaupt de bodem van de put te bereiken, voordat je er klaar voor bent om er weer uit te klimmen. Die periode heb ik ook gehad: niet met vrienden willen afspreken en binnen willen blijven. Maar als je de energie kan vinden, probeer dan stukje bij beetje je algehele gezondheid te verbeteren. En dan zal je na een tijd zien dat je leven niet alleen maar bepaald word door je tinnitus.

En buiten dat heb ik gemerkt dat ik al het rotgevoel dat ik had, toeschreef aan mijn tinnitus. Voordat ik tinnitus had, voelde ik me ook wel eens down. Maar als dat nu zo is geef ik gelijk tinnitus de schuld en ga ik me daar weer op focussen.

Misschien heb je niet zoveel aan wat ik hier allemaal zeg en zit je niet op tips te wachten. Maar ik las dat je er nu erg mee aan het worstelen bent. Ik wens jou ook veel beterschap en ik weet zeker dat dingen beter zullen worden!
Groetjes!

 

Hi, here's a quick update.

The better I'm doing, the less motivated I am to post here. But I'll keep on trying to do it for all the tinnitus sufferers here who have similar stories like me, but are earlier in the process and want to know what to expect more or less.

I've been keeping track of my mental state and the good news is that I've been feeling good non-stop for a month and a half now.

In this time my tinnitus fluctuated between good and bad. At the moment it's bad, but I don't care so much. I know that there are good days as well and today I will forget about it again. Probably in 5 minutes from now. It's not top priority anymore.

The bad tinnitus days seem to happen, when I'm not feeling very healty overall. This can have several causes, such as: not enough sleep, too much gaming, drinking alcohol, eating too much shit, or common variations in mood/energy. Mostly when I get my act together, my tinnitus will be less loud as well.

I noticed that I can enjoy things again without second thoughts. I hope it stays this way, but the past 1.5 months is in my pocket already

 

Hi all,

I’ve not been feeling so great for a few days now.

In the past two weeks I had a dental cleaning and went to a party with loud music and alcohol.

In the beginning of the party I had my earplugs in. Then the music stopped and I took them out. An hour later the music started again, but I was tipsy and couldn’t find my earplugs anymore.

The music was not terribly loud and not uncomfortable, but it lasted a few hours.

I went to sleep around 0:30 and woke up sober around 5:00, immediately checking my tinnitus.

It sounded normal as in a bad tinnitus day, but I was scared it could be a bit louder, but I was not sure.

My tinnitus stayed like this for the past week and I am monitoring and focusing on it. This has put me back a bit psychologically.

I know I should not pay attention to it. I have to re-grasp myself again.

I will keep you up to date.

 

Hi there. Here’s another update.

Tinnitus has been loud the past week and a half. I can hear it everywhere, also in crowded shop with music and all. Especially the high frequency noise cuts through everything. The other tones seem louder as well. Outside I can hear them.

I think it’s a spike. After a few days it started to wear me down. I didn’t remember my coping strategies anymore. But now I remember. I’ve been quite depressed about my tinnitus the past week. But I am glad to say that even though things could be much better, I am functioning well and can enjoy things from time to time and I don’t think this is going to drag me down further . On the contrary: I’ve been feeling a bit better today. Sometimes I am still grieving about my life without tinnitus. But I noticed that I am hardening against that way of thinking. Instead of thinking what I lost. I am thinking of what I still have and what I still can do. And that is everything. The noise doesn’t limit me. Only if I let it.

It has been 1.5 years since the last worsening of my tinnitus. I’ve been reading success stories from people who saw improvements even after 3 years. I hope that will happen, but honestly I don’t think that will happen. If it does, I’ll see it as a nice bonus

I am sitting in a quiet room now and all I can hear is the squealing, humming and hissing in my head. But at the moment I don’t care so much. Of course I would much rather hear silence, but I am glad that I am okay with it now. I look forward to finish watching a movie and go to bed.

I have posted many messages in this thread rambling on about myself. But I am not only doing this for myself. There are a lot of people out here who leave the forum without telling how they end up living with their tinnitus. I am planning to document this so other people similar to my case can see how it might be for them in the future.
of course everyone is different and no two tinnitus cases are the same. But that’s why this forum is so great. There is a lot of variety of cases which you can read about.

 

Hang tough! I’m 25 and dealing with the same thing. I got it after being sick with a bad stomach bug in 2017, habituated, and now it’s back randomly. I agree 100% with the sentiment, but you just have to remember you CAN STILL live your life. You just have to force yourself to. It’s all about perspective. Sending reinforcement.

 

Thanks for the updates. It seems you were given many chances and kept reverting back lol. It’s your choice though.

 

Hi there,

@JDP_95, thanks for the reinforcement. It seems to have helped

In the past week I had 5 loud tinnitus days and 2 milder days. But unlike a few weeks ago, I feel a lot better. My brain is not focussing on it anymore. I don't know why. Sometimes tinnitus gets to me, and sometimes it doesn't. So now I am doing well.

If I am being honest, I think I am on the winning hand If it doesn't get any worse. There will probably be more bumps on the road ahead, but I am quite happy at the moment. Except for the normal problems like everyone else has.

 

Hi all,

I am still doing well. Most of the days I am not thinking of my tinnitus. The volume is still the same. But at the moment I just don't care.

I thought I'd let y'all know.

Have a nice one!