Dear all,
I've had T since 12 years. Ironically, I found out after reading a magazine article about a T sufferer. It was completely new to me and I remember my thoughts back then about the horror it must be to live with that sound every awakened minute of the day (and night). I drew the wrong conclusion that T must be rare, since I had never heard about it before. With the article fresh in mind, a few days later I did a test of just laying in my very quite room and listen for "inner" sounds. Of course I heard something, as most people will do. However, back then I was horrified. Needless to say it was a very weak sound (left ear) and easily masked and not noticed for most of the day. However, as the T ignorant I was I focused my attention at the T and this made me very anxious and unfocused. This I believe gave me hyperacusis, which in hindsight, was a much more severe problem at the time. I went to a couple of physicians and it made me no less worried. I had bad luck I guess cause they had no fingertip feeling how to approach a T patient. I went through two semesters at the university and hardly opened a single book cause of the lack of concentration (I made it somehow by taking good notes and by giving extra attention at lectures and practicals). I then felt it was enough and I decided to work on it on my own. I borrowed books at the library and bought books on-line. I started reading at cafés and in public spaces for masking the T. KBT became my temporarly savior. The hyperacusis went away and T became something I did not suffer from. In fact, the ideas about positive associations and reading about success stories was so successful for me that T became a "friend" for a few years. I can hardly believe it at the time of writing, but that was the situation for me. I actually got worried once when the T seemed to have gone away, since it gave me a wierd sense of comfort. Sounds crazy I now! Anyway, since a few years it is not as friendly anymore. The introduction of a higher pitch made it very difficult to associate to something positive and it is much more intrusive. I also got it on the right ear (much more low-frequency though). The left ear T is not nearly as easy to mask as it once was. I still get very anxious from time to time, when T takes a jump. This happened just a few weeks ago after a very stressful time in my life, when I finished my PhD thesis and had my dissertation. The stress may have had its share in it, but the event that triggered it was a visit to church, weeks after. Irony again, I am a non-believer and went only for my fiancée's sake AND I forgot my bloody ear-plugs. I hate to admit it to myself, that a single event like this could make a difference, but I guess it can and I should know it. But its hard and impossible to be on alert all the time, mistakes are made. I have been through these jumps before and "recovered", I am positive that I will make it again even though I feel low at the moment (but I have so at times before). It just takes energy, time and finding the right coping each time, but my experience is that the recovery time will be shorter by each T setback, which is positive. My strategy is to find ways to relax, floating works for me. I also now that when I force myself to read, read and read my focus gets better and better by time. It has to, since research is my occupation and concentrated reading is a big part of it. I also play games on my smartphone to practise focusing. At the onset of T I also challanged myself regularly, to prove to myself that I could accomplish things as good as before T. It may be encouraging for some of you out there that I finished my masters and I worked myself through a graduate program in planetary science to received my PhD despite having T. You can accomplish your goals as well! Do not let T govern your life!
I've had T since 12 years. Ironically, I found out after reading a magazine article about a T sufferer. It was completely new to me and I remember my thoughts back then about the horror it must be to live with that sound every awakened minute of the day (and night). I drew the wrong conclusion that T must be rare, since I had never heard about it before. With the article fresh in mind, a few days later I did a test of just laying in my very quite room and listen for "inner" sounds. Of course I heard something, as most people will do. However, back then I was horrified. Needless to say it was a very weak sound (left ear) and easily masked and not noticed for most of the day. However, as the T ignorant I was I focused my attention at the T and this made me very anxious and unfocused. This I believe gave me hyperacusis, which in hindsight, was a much more severe problem at the time. I went to a couple of physicians and it made me no less worried. I had bad luck I guess cause they had no fingertip feeling how to approach a T patient. I went through two semesters at the university and hardly opened a single book cause of the lack of concentration (I made it somehow by taking good notes and by giving extra attention at lectures and practicals). I then felt it was enough and I decided to work on it on my own. I borrowed books at the library and bought books on-line. I started reading at cafés and in public spaces for masking the T. KBT became my temporarly savior. The hyperacusis went away and T became something I did not suffer from. In fact, the ideas about positive associations and reading about success stories was so successful for me that T became a "friend" for a few years. I can hardly believe it at the time of writing, but that was the situation for me. I actually got worried once when the T seemed to have gone away, since it gave me a wierd sense of comfort. Sounds crazy I now! Anyway, since a few years it is not as friendly anymore. The introduction of a higher pitch made it very difficult to associate to something positive and it is much more intrusive. I also got it on the right ear (much more low-frequency though). The left ear T is not nearly as easy to mask as it once was. I still get very anxious from time to time, when T takes a jump. This happened just a few weeks ago after a very stressful time in my life, when I finished my PhD thesis and had my dissertation. The stress may have had its share in it, but the event that triggered it was a visit to church, weeks after. Irony again, I am a non-believer and went only for my fiancée's sake AND I forgot my bloody ear-plugs. I hate to admit it to myself, that a single event like this could make a difference, but I guess it can and I should know it. But its hard and impossible to be on alert all the time, mistakes are made. I have been through these jumps before and "recovered", I am positive that I will make it again even though I feel low at the moment (but I have so at times before). It just takes energy, time and finding the right coping each time, but my experience is that the recovery time will be shorter by each T setback, which is positive. My strategy is to find ways to relax, floating works for me. I also now that when I force myself to read, read and read my focus gets better and better by time. It has to, since research is my occupation and concentrated reading is a big part of it. I also play games on my smartphone to practise focusing. At the onset of T I also challanged myself regularly, to prove to myself that I could accomplish things as good as before T. It may be encouraging for some of you out there that I finished my masters and I worked myself through a graduate program in planetary science to received my PhD despite having T. You can accomplish your goals as well! Do not let T govern your life!