My Success as of Today

I have tinnitus. And unless you are researching for a friend or family member, so do you. I hope you are not suffering. I hope that T has taught you a valuable lesson, as it has me.

Who could possibly benefit from T? In a strange and unique way, I have. It has given me the gift of peace and serenity. Tinnitus is with me always, to one degree or another. It is in the noise of traffic and people partying; the noise and vibration on the jacuzzi in my head; hovering helicopters and Navy jets breaking the sound barrier. Sudden loud noise might make a flash of snap, crackle and pop in my brain. These and more.

I hear it in the relative silence of the night. With my ear against the pillow, I hear a train rumble or the ocean roar.The siren sound persists. T always wants my attention. It can be temporary, that high whistling brought on by a sudden noise nearby. Or I can improve it with deep breathing or meditation. But it is there . . . as relentless as the beat of my heart.

Now I know some things I didn't know in those early days when I grieved for the normal sound of nothing.

I know that it's a very real part of me, like the vision of my ears, like water running over my fingers. Ans sometimes it miraculously disappears. If I focus, I can find it. Silence distracts me from its absence.

I know I have found accommodation, but it's more. It can't kill me or even make me cry or yell in frustration. It's an entity like a person, but it is only an appendage to my body. "I can beat you," I say. "You don't trouble me." Then I go ahead and appreciate again the quiet of hiking in a forest, standing on a cliff overlooking the desert, hearing the gentle waves lapping on the shore.

I absolutely know that I can have a T-free experience any time I want it. Evev while it is an integral part of me.

Because I know this, I am at peace. I have serenity. Because I have acceptance.

I no longer ask how, where, why? Why me?What did I do? Crack my head one times too many? Does it matter? Not to me.Acceptance. I hope you find it. It will blow you away. It can't hurt to try, but suffering from tinnitus does. We all have the superpower within us to defeat this incorrigible alien. To laugh at it. Comedy. So imagine if you can: this T patient walks up to a deaf person in a bar . . . I can't. Comedy is good; make up your own laughter, a good belly laugh.

Ask and you shall receive.My prayers to you no matter what your higher power may be. Blessed be.

 

Wonderful post, Clare. I was just thinking yesterday about some of the same things you talk about, that it is better to accept the T as part of the person I am now then to try and fight it. That I should treat it as just another facet of my identity, like brown eyes and graying hair. I'm just not quite there yet...

 

Tx. IK we are not alone. Not in any of our struggles since we have each other. Just like a 12 step group, we're here for support, discussion, and recovery. All of which mean different things to each of us. Take good care of yourself and your body will take care of you too.

 

Brilliant Clare!

 

TY S0undWave. I hope it is a boost to some in this journey to great health and happiness. Slowly I move forward. IK I will still have bad days and all my brave talk will go out the window, but these will be few and far between . . . I hope, lol. I can't believe all my perseverance and bits of wisdom will be gone with my occasional irritation.

 

So glad for you!!! Keep up! Lol some days my attitude towards T is like so conceded ill be like the hell with this i have alot other things to worry about ha then (exuse me gentlemen) ill pms and worry and get emotional about how i dont want to have to worry bout T the rest of my life! Ususlly just hormones taking over though!

 

Awesome post, Clare. It is like reading a poem with so many great points about living with T. You are a winner. Keep it up. Congrats. Perhaps consider writing a success story in that section so all your wisdom of living with T will be for all future newbies to read and learn from.

 

Tx Grace and Billie for your thoughts on this.

Hormones, schmormones; any day with or without that emotional swing can be up or down, but I hear you Grace, and you're probably dead on for many women.

Billie, I'll think about moving this to the other forum. Maybe expand or edit or both so it fits better. Good idea. Though not today, lol.

 

Ahh Clare, my kindred spirit!!! Great post and spot on perspective!! It took me awhile (and a lot of tears and fears!) to get there (acceptance), yet I am here!!! There is so much truth in what you shared. T cannot kill us, but if we let it, it can kill our joy, peace, happiness, spirit, etc... But if/when we fight back and let out T know that we are no longer going to let it reign in our lives (I know I am personifying T, but it helps my point!), it begins to lose it's destructive power. And as we seek joy, happiness, pleasure, fulfillment, etc... in our lives despite our T, life begins to return to us!!It is like a snowball effect!

If you are reading this and still in "the pit" of T ruling your life, it's time for a revolution. Fight back and take back your life!! Rob your T of it's power over you by accepting it, and moving on with your life (I sound like a motivational speaker !)! I only share this because it happend in my life and there's no reason i can't in yours!! I have very severe high pitch/High volume tinnitus that is chronic and 24/7/365. But I am now living a purposeful happy life in spite of my T.

Great post Clare!! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and perspective !!!

Jeff

 

Thank you as well Jeff. Your post is the perfect add-on to mine. It sounds like your T is more intense than mine - I just barely hear it during the day, though it's there, due to other noise levels. So what you, the motivational speaker, do is to add emphasis and encourage those whose T is really difficult for them. Thank you so much for your contribution.

 

Beautifully written and really soothing. Thank you.

 

You are welcome from me and I would presume to say, from Jeff.

 

You presumed correct Clare! And thanx for your kind comments! I believe deeply that it is incumbent upon those of us who are having victory over T to share with those who are struggling!! Because we "Get It"!! We can truly empathize and offer our experiences and perspectives. Speaking for myself, for quite some time after my T set in, that was one of the most difficult things for me to deal with....... nobody understood!! No one "Got" what I was experiencing. It was dreadful!

That's why TT and the much anticipated Tinnitus Network has been (and will be) so essential to those of us who need support, education, advice, information, etc.... as we journey with T. TT has been such an amazing resource for me and pivotal in my coming to "acceptance" . And I pray it (we) will continue to be a light in the darkness to all who have tinnitus in all its various manifestations!!

(Shameless plug.... if anyone reading this has not yet contributed to Tinnitus Network Campaign or asked friends and family to..... Please consider doing so!! Only 15 Days Left!! THANKS!!)

 

LOL shameless (AKA Jeff)

 

Great post ..Thank you! I am new April 15th/2014.these post helps!

 

Thank you for your post, it helps, my t started April15th/2014.I will stay strong..God bless you.

 

I absolutely know that I can have a T-free experience any time I want it. Evev while it is an integral part of me.

May I know why ??

 

Thanks John. This is a great forum. It's always good to know there is "a somewhere" to visit where others will know what we're experiencing. Whether this is in different degrees or not, we all know what it is like to be set apart from others by a bodily experience that is not so "out of body!"

@ItalianMan "May I know why?" LOL. Does that mean you are wondering or you do know why? I guess we sometimes find enlightenment without knowing what we know. (if that makes any sense...)

 

Maybe tinnitus can be viewed as a special signal from the universe and only we selected few can "hear" this signal!

 

An existentialist! I like that tokyo tony. Maybe we are the ears of SETI (http://www.seti.org/) they've really needed in the search for extraterrestrial life.