Obsession Over Mild Tinnitus

Hi all,
I have a mild tinnitus which I cannot stop thinking about. What I mean is it's easily maskable by almost any sound, either outside or inside by TV, radio etc. But I obsess about it mostly when I don't hear it. I exaggerate how bad it is, cannot live with it etc. Then when I expose myself deliberately to tinnitus in a silent room it turns out to be not that bad, I can read with it, focus, relax and basically I can do all the things I want. Than again I come to louder environment where I don't hear it, for some time I feel fine but again start to obsess over it. Does any of you have similar experience and tips how to overcome this? It seems that masking only magnifies my anxiety. Basically I wish I could stop thinking about tinnitus at least when I don't hear it in a "out of sight, out of mind" way. Should I even mask in such case or rather give up masking and getting used to dealing with tinnitus.

Help please, maybe you have some technics or tips for me.

Mentos

 

It's been only 3 months ? Just give it time, stay busy and be careful with your hearing.

If you're prone to anxiety, maybe a psychologist could help you.

 

It started 1 year and 3 months ago so I'm not a newbie any more. I use some antidepressants and antianxiety drugs which calm me down a bit but still majority o fight happens in my mind all the time. I just wish I could forget about the T when surrounded by sounds and not to analyze it anymore... I'm prone to anxiety for sure but I always was a perfectionist and having T is far from perfect. I plan to start psychotherapy perhaps this will help

 

I am in the same boat Mentos. Tinnitus rules my life. Mine is as follows; I don't really hear it unless I'm indoors at home or in the quiet. When I come indoors into the quiet, there is often a ringing which is similar to when someone boxes your ears for you only it's small and fades once I've been in the quiet for about 20 mins. However, when I lye down, a Morse type beep is heard after a while which builds to be continuous even though it's still small.

Sometimes it's quite loud however before bed or in the morning upon waking and stays when I get up although going outside seems to 'reset' things so that when I'm back indoors there isn't mush there again. However, once I notice it, I panic.

I am very much prone to anxiety and obsession which is a long story. I listen to an Oasis Sound System or classical music on the radio. I'm also seeing a psychotherapist due to my anxiety and depression following a bereavement.

I have upset a few people on here who wish they had mild tinnitus and think I should be grateful but it I sympathize with you. When I'm out, I'm worried about what I'll hear when I'm home again. I just wish I could be ambivalent towards it and move on but I cannot yet do that. I have a great deal of 'baggage' to process through therapy and I'm on medication too.

What I crave is to think to myself 'oh, there's the tinnitus again. Big deal. I'm not afraid any more. I'm going to sleep now', or 'It's morning and there's my tinnitus but it doesn't bother me now. I'll just get on with my day'.

Not there yet.

 

UKJoin: It's as you would have described myself The only thing is I don't have problems sleeping and honestly afternoons / evenings are pretty much fine I mean I really can say: screw you tinnitus I'm watching TV or I'm going to sleep, and I fall asleep. But mornings are the worst when the first thing I hear upon waking is tinnitus my first thought is damn, another day with the sound. And than during the day there are ups and downs: I can go through half day not being bothered by it and than suddenly a thought comes" my god I'm gonna hear it till the rest of my life" and I start to panick. I think for me the chronic part is the worst, not knowing what the future will bring, whether there will be a cure or not. If someone would tell me: don't worry, in 10years they will cure you, I'm sure I would feel much relief and would be able to cope much better on a daily basis. I think one of the best advises Karen gives is to live one day at a time, one moment at a time. Or as I sometimes say to myself: live a day as if this was the last day of your life, would you like it to be said? And I move on with things I liked doing before T.

What helps me and I think I can reccommend to you is reading. When I'm engaged in a book I feel like my intelect is taking control over tinnitus. And basically whatever activity which requires intellectual engagement tends to calm me down: it's when my mind have no room to dwell on T I find relief. Even the physical activities like gardening, biking or swimming don't bring as much relief since my mind is not occupied and is free to think and think about it.

What keeps me up is my wife, who has T herself and its louder than mine but she does not give a damn about it. I adore her for that. She even prefers silence as she has slight hyperacusis. She reads, works, relaxes in silence, she smiles often, she can laugh, either spends time on her own or with family or friends she is always talkactive and happy. She never complains about T: she says it's like contact lenses for her that she puts on in the morning and takes off in the evening: not a big deal, just part of her life. Wish I can get to this point one day.

 

Hi Mentos,
Talking therapy and CBT should help you move in a positive way forward by helping you think things through better .
Hope your tinntus goes away for you but what ever sound and strength we have its coming to terms with it even though most people will never except it 100% we have to some how learn to get along with it....lots of love glynis

 

Glynis,
Thanks for your words. For me it seems acceptance is the tougthest part. Some part of me percieves T as a problem that needs a solution - but there is none. I always in my life was good at solving problems. be it at work, personal life, backpacker style vacations, etc I was fueled by problems to be tackled and always felt fullfilled when I managed to overcome them this way or another. Since I have literally no other problems in life than T this fighter part of me wants to win this battle. When it turns out you can't solve the problem, you can't win the battle you just need to move on living with it this makes me feel frustrated, anxious, tired and exhausted. I always needed projects in my life which had a beginning and an end. But T is a "project" with no end and it's killing me. Perhaps I need another goal in my life to fight for, give up fighting with T and just manage it in the best way I can.

 

Hey guys,
i dont know if this helps, i describe my tinnitus as mild, but i have my days... like today that i can hear the hissing above the fan sound.
sometimes the thought of it getting worst or the idea of it being a life ruiner, its worse than tinnitus itself.
you guys need to take back your own life.

first you gotta keep focus on the things you can still do, if yours is mild you can still watch tv shows, movies, go to the park, go to social events, go to a new restaurant, take new courses, clean your house, and many many more activities with out being bother by the sound.

whenever the thought of catastrophe comes into your mind, block it.
it has no use, you never know whats going to happen tomorrow, you are not a psychic, this is the moment to be happy, this is the perfect moment to treat yourself like if you were your best friend, go ahead and have a nice drink grab a magazine get comfy and forget about the "what ifs", we dont live for tomorrow, today is all that counts.

the deal with anaxiety is that we pay a lot of attention to thoughts and events that our mind create to scare us, when we are able to stop them and recognize our own power. these thoughts wont haunt us.

its simple we have a thought, produces anxiety, anxiety makes us nervous, we feel awful.
the new model is, we are having a "bad" thought, we simply block it.
you can use other thoughts like for example, what if the tinnitus disappear, what would be the first things youll do?
sex, adventures, create stories in our minds, idk the world of thoughts are infinite.

i did this and right now i dont feel anxious all the time as i did, my mild t, doesnt bother me (only when it spikes of course) we might have not control over tinnitus, but we can control our anxiety!!!

hope this helps.

 

Hi Mentos.

You can always count on Glynis. She is remarkable and non judgemental and is always supportive whatever kind of tinnitus someone has. She has been through a lot herself lately and still remains cheerful and positive.

You're lucky to have your wife. My anxiety has stopped me from ever having a single proper relationship which hurts very much.

I actually sleep very well Mentos, in fact too well as I am still on Quetiapine which was prescribed when I was very bad last year. Unfortunately, I sleep well into the morning and don't want this to go on forever naturally.

Reading does help. I'm re-reading about Laurel and Hardy's lives because they always cheer me up.

I know what you mean about T having no end. I hate not being in control or having an escape option. In order to defeat tinnitus (mild or not), it means changing as a person and altering the thought processes of a lifetime. That is not an easy proposition for me after 53 years.

My T is also easily masked but no matter. It still causes immense anxiety. T terrifies me basically.

Let me know how you get on. Perhaps we can get better together.

Jonathan.

 

@UKJon,
Thank you for your kind words.....lots of love glynis

 

People with severe t cannot watch tv or movies? That must suck???

 

im giving an advice to these people with mild t,
not to people with severe t in the first place, since i dont have severe T, i wouldnt know... but i can imagine it could be a little more complicated to focus, when you have a severe tone in your ears/head.
Anyone with a good pair of eyes can actually see whatever they want, hahaha.

people with severe tinnitus that have habituated can do a lot of things too

 

I am not even sure what makes t severe, i can my hear t when watching some shows(depends how loud/quiet a show is). Music on lowish volumes will mask it. On my iphone if i put on white noise oon the lowest audible setting and point the speaker towards but not too close to my ear it will also mask it. Outside i only hear it if its very quiet.

 

Hey Sam!!
so you consider yours mild? i consider mine mild, if i compare it to others people t in here.
i think it depends in how habituated you are, sometimes i found myself watching a movie or netflix and not paying attention to T, but i remember the first months only comparing the sound, and being pissed that i had to watch movie with this extra sound, but i dont do that anymore, your focus changes with time i guess
the same applies with severe cases, where they already habituated.

 

Hi Mario

I am not sure to be honest. I think my emotional state can make it worse. For example, on the weekend I was at a friends house having some beers and i did not notice it at all unless i went to the toilet and then listened. But last night i didnt sleep great and it seems louder to me. But its still masked by very low white noise from my phone. Such a weird conditon! Is severe tinnitud where it cannot be masked at all?

 

Thanks Mario martz. It's not possible to have too much reassuring advice. I think that for me, the worst bit about my t is when I'm lying still at night and it's just me and the noise which also persists when I get up for a while sometimes. It's the stark contrast to the day. Something happens when I lye down that doesn't happen when I'm usually standing. Am I being tricked by my brain out of habit? Or is something actually changing with the position of the body? Why do I often feel worse in the morning and calmer at bedtime? It may be because I know I'll sleep well with my pills (I know this is not ideal). I think that with mild t, people become hyper aware and hyper vigilant to start with and it's difficult to snap out of that.

But you're right about fear and anxiety. They do terrible damage. Some people though are just 'shit happens' types who say 'there's nothing you can do so just get on with things'. I envy people like that.

 

Hey Jon!,
Well yes, actualy tinnitus can be a little louder when laying down because of blood flow and actually it can be more audible at night, because there are less external noises, but you have the power to control it.
make a mixtape (or playlist) with sounds of the ocean, rain, the nature etc...
this help help you to get your mind away of tinnitus, give it a try it can be fun.
or put a movie till you fall asleep.

changing the position can worsen tinnitus thats for sure, so dont worry about it too much.
right now my t is worsen because im laying in bed with my laptop but i prefer this position hehehe.

the first month i wanted to use meds to control my anxiety and sleep better, thank god, my dad forbbiden me to take these drugs (he had to take a few years ago) so ive been able to manage T and those rough night, it has only been 4 in the past 5 months, thank god.

Jon, i know we have a age difference but i can relate to you so much, when i was 18 i went through a difficult time with my mother, she got very sick, on top of that was in a wheelchair for a few years, also got her bones broken the last years due to osteoporosis, and develop infections, and suddenly she felt bad one day and then all of the sudden she passed away because of a peritonitis.
obviously a situation like yours and mine is very difficult, i was super closed to my mother, more in her last years.

i develop huge panic atacks for two years, but this is gonna pass soon jon, this is the way you are letting this emotions go, some people cry, some people have grief, some like us go through a rough patch of anxiety, this gonna pass soon man
time is the best healing.

you have to keep in mind that you need to be gentle to you, none of this things are your fault, your mild t, your mothers death, this are things that happens just because, but there is some much things you can still do for you self, dont gave into panic and anxiety you do have total control over that emotion.

feel free to pm me

 

Yes that true Sam, your emotional state can make everything worse not only T,
see it like if it was a filter, Being depress or sad can make look dark even a sunny landscape.
but you have power over it, you can improve your mood step by step

about that night out at yoru friends house.
maybe the beer spiked your tinnitus? beer sometimes spike tinnitus, havent try it myself...yet!

and yes i think severe tinnitus cant be masked or hardly masked.

hope you are feeling better soon bro

 

When your tinnitus competes with (or reacts to) the move or TV, it does. Completely takes away from the experience.

 

So tv doesn't make the t less noticeable?

 

Nah it didn't spike it , i just woke up and ite like im in a negative mood like i usually am lately when im at home with my t. I guess seeing friends having a beer relaxed and forgot/didn't listen to it. Its weird because i had wax issues in Janaury and when i used ear drops it spiked until the wax cleared but had no problems sleeping.

My sleep issues started around early June and i don't know why because nothings changed, now i feel stressed and i think thats whats keeping mr from sleeping as before this i never needed any masking to sleep.

 

No.

 

I can hear it on an airplane or driving down the highway with the windows down. I didn't even think I had 'severe t' (although for me it's extremely bothersome) until I started reading the forums more and found most people that are very bothered by their T are still able to mask it. Over six months in and I still can't imagine living the rest of my life with this.

 

@Alue give it a couple of years. Eventually we'll all get there.

 

It's like saying "There will be a cure in 10 years", it's what people say to keep us going.

 

Well... yes and no.
1-When my onset started was bad and i thought i was going crazy.
5 months after im still here, coping and doing better. than it first 2 months.
maybe im not a good example.

but there are users in here that have it since 30 0 20 years ago.
and they are doing better even that it got worse.
so maybe the body/brain.. gets used to it, after a decent period of time.

thats what i think, i might be wrong...

 

I think the worst thing we can do is to think about it as a lifetime condition, this makes it T unbearable. Try to imagine you just have to cope with it until the end of day and focus on that day. Try doing this day things that makes it easier to live with: work, read books, do whatever you would be doing without T. That's what helap me to be more relaxed with T. If I start to dwell on it saying to myself: it's gonna be forever than I start to panick. And I often say to myself that despite T I live complately normal life. At least in my case I work, read, ride a motorcycle, go to soccer games, spend time with my wife (who has T herself and copes much better than me). And I live one day at a time. Don't think about the future, each day can be the last in my life. And I pray each day in the morning to God to save me from anxiety and bad thought and in the evening thanking him for the day I went through. I was not very religious before T onset but now it helps. Im 37 now so half way only and of course when I start to think there's another 40 years for me with T it makes me anxious so I try hard not to think about it.

 

Unfortunately, time is the only thing on our side.
There is nothing else out there. So, protect your ears as much as you possibly can and ...hang on.
It's pathetic even for me reading my own advice but is what it is.

 

I'm not sure if people get used to it. They just live with it on a daily basis to the best they can. What changes is that perhaps over time anxiety turns into irritation. They accept they have to mask (if maskable of course), don't think too much over it and move on. And that's how time passes by and you cross 10, 20 30 years with it.

 

Sorry to hear you don't feel better. For me it's the same. 6 month in.
Everything I've tried so far didn't help.
Some days are better and some are worse. But there is no trend of improvement at all what is very disappointing.
It rather seems that bad days tend to get more but also I get more blunt to the screaming ear.
I always wonder how much blunt you can get. I'm afraid I gonna have to find out.