Question about anxiety

[Erlend]

I've been doing good lately, I have a full time job and have been pretty happy.

I also got accepted by the school I wanted to join, and have been pretty relaxed I guess, although I've been pretty anxious all the time because of T.

There was a party where we met all the people we're gonna go to school with. I didn't really like any of them. It was pretty loud there too. But nowhere near concert-loudness. And I was only inside for maybe 10 minutes. People were talking there, although you had to shout, it was very possible to have a conversation.

This was 3 days ago. Ever since, I've been extremely anxious. I noticed that my own voice, especially the letters f, t, s and p made my whole body cringe. I was thinking hyperacusis, I've struggled with what I thought was H before, but gotten completely over it when I stopped focusing on it. Phonophobia is more plausible I think.

Yesterday and the day before was horrible. I have a stand up gig on thursday (only 5 minutes, but a lot of people in the business are there to watch), and I want to do well. But if I can't talk, I'm gonna be a shitty comedian.

Today however, I seem to talk without cringing too much, I can say any sound without cringing. That is very good, that it seems to go away after only 3 days. But it is obviously connected to severe anxiety.

Why this sudden super-increase in anxiety? Am I suddenly nervous about next year, or was the sound too loud at that place?

Another reason i don't think it's hyperacusis is that I cringe also when I saw these sounds without hearing them, like out in loud traffic. And the skin on my whole skull feels very tense, feels very good to massage it.

I'm going to book an appointment with a psychiatrist for the anxiety tomorrow.

 

[citigirl13]

I've been doing good lately, I have a full time job and have been pretty happy.

I also got accepted by the school I wanted to join, and have been pretty relaxed I guess, although I've been pretty anxious all the time because of T.

There was a party where we met all the people we're gonna go to school with. I didn't really like any of them. It was pretty loud there too. But nowhere near concert-loudness. And I was only inside for maybe 10 minutes. People were talking there, although you had to shout, it was very possible to have a conversation.

This was 3 days ago. Ever since, I've been extremely anxious. I noticed that my own voice, especially the letters f, t, s and p made my whole body cringe. I was thinking hyperacusis, I've struggled with what I thought was H before, but gotten completely over it when I stopped focusing on it. Phonophobia is more plausible I think.

Yesterday and the day before was horrible. I have a stand up gig on thursday (only 5 minutes, but a lot of people in the business are there to watch), and I want to do well. But if I can't talk, I'm gonna be a shitty comedian.

Today however, I seem to talk without cringing too much, I can say any sound without cringing. That is very good, that it seems to go away after only 3 days. But it is obviously connected to severe anxiety.

Why this sudden super-increase in anxiety? Am I suddenly nervous about next year, or was the sound too loud at that place?

Another reason i don't think it's hyperacusis is that I cringe also when I saw these sounds without hearing them, like out in loud traffic. And the skin on my whole skull feels very tense, feels very good to massage it.

I'm going to book an appointment with a psychiatrist for the anxiety tomorrow.

I agree - it doesn't sound like H to me. It is probably linked to your anxiety. I think H is when you feel pain, and though it makes you cringe, there is a difference.

To me it sounds like that you are anxious about the party. It could partly be due to stress about next year, but my guess is after the party you were nervous about the noise, therefore more conscious of your hearing. But I am sure that you are fine.

Try focussing on the good stuff in your life. You sound very content and busy, and that is what you want with T. Congrats at getting into the school you wanted! Sounds like you have an exciting year ahead of you. Try not to let T get in the way!

 

[LadyDi]

Hi, Erlend: My tinnitus onset generated horrible anxiety, although I never had dealt with an anxiety disorder before. Had severe, crippling rolling panic attacks, etc. I learned how to deal with my anxiety through six months of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), some help with meds in the beginning. I now only have to take anxiety medications "as needed," which is rarely.

So, to your question: I, too, now have occasional bouts of anxiety. Sometimes they are connected to something obvious (looming deadline, having to sing or speak in front of a crowd are two that set me off). But sometimes they come for no apparent reason.

The plus side of anxiety being so physical is that I know now exactly what it is and recognize it in its early stages. My CBT taught me how to shut down anxiety with breathing technique, redirecting self-statements. Nine times out of ten, these natural techniques allow me to stop my anxiety before it starts its nasty spiral that makes you feel so out of control. On the few rare times it doesn't work, I pop a small dose (.25 mg) of emergency Xanax.

It's a good idea to see a psychiatrist about this, vs. just going to a GP and getting some drugs. I would suggest asking your psych about therapies like CBT and for a referral to a therapist. Best wishes. Anxiety sucks but you can control it.

 

[billie48]

You may have either hidden social anxiety or anticipatory anxiety. This is the type of anxiety one of my daughters is just developing. She used to be a socially active person and love the stage to perform. But out of the blue, perhaps because of stress from running a busy family with kids and dealing with tight family finance, she develops these symptoms where she would have butterfly about meeting people, especially strangers, to the point she hates social events and can not eat nor sleep properly either before or during the social events. She keeps on asking me what is wrong with her because she never had such issue before. Such a concern about the change also added to her anxiety. With what I have learned about anxiety on the support forum, I did my best to counsel her as her father and she is showing good improvement. I told her that if needed, get some sublingual Ativan .50 gm for urgent situation (as LadyDi suggests above). Hope the psychiatrist will help you with your situation.

 

[LadyDi]

Hi, @billie48: I read your comment with great interest. I am soon to be 59. I would say that prior to tinnitus, nobody who knew me would have described me as "anxious." I was the one that friends turned to in a crisis, got my life together on my own after an unexpected divorce, successfully worked a stressful job for decades. Yet the CBT that I went through in order to cope with my tinnitus and the panic attacks that came with it ultimately helped me see, to my great surprise, that I probably have been chronically anxious since I was a young adult. I just did a really, really good job of covering it up and avoiding dealing with it, in some ways that were not healthy.

I think part of my hidden anxiety was a lot of instability in childhood -- and also that my brain is just hardwired that way. But being able to finally see it, and learn to deal with it in a healthy way, was a great gift that my tinnitus gave me. I don't believe anxiety caused my T. Barotrauma did. But I think anxiety contributed to it, and certainly had an impact on my adjusting to it.

So it is great that your daughter is dealing with this now. Bless you for being such a kind and supportive father. Sometimes, even people who love you don't understand why you can't just "snap out of it" when you suddenly develop anxiety. Tell your daughter there is nothing wrong with her -- this is just the way that we anxious people are, for whatever reason. We can lead healthy and productive lives by learning to live with our anxiety.

When I first developed my panic disorder post-tinnitus, I started seeking out people who also had anxiety and could support me. I was amazed at those who stepped forward, some of whom I had known for years and had no clue they suffered from anxiety. One was a super-confident woman who speaks multiple languages and works for the military. My favorite editor, who I worked with for years; his anxiety was so crippling that initially, he couldn't sleep for days, he told me.

I really suggest, as I did with @Erlend, that your daughter have some anxiety-focused therapy from a good therapist to go with those meds. I believe (and research shows), meds and therapy together are most effective. Sounds like she has what is called "social anxiety" -- avoiding social situations can make it worse. It's more common than you might think. Give her a hug for me and tell her she is going to be OK, and have the life she wants.

PS: Always enjoy your posts, as many here do. Thanks for being part of the TT community.

 

[Erlend]

Thanks for the responses. I don't think I have social anxiety. But I'm anxious about spending a year of my life with people I don't like. Not that they're mean - but rather.... Not the people I want to be with. Simple as that.

I think it's the return of uncertainty that might have caused this anxiety attack. Hmm.

Plus, making my debut as a stand up comic in front of 100 people is something most people would be anxious about, maybe it's that, on top of ear-related anxiety.

 

[Erlend]

I can feel the tension in my forehead. What the hell

 

[billie48]

s@erland, that tension may be a symptom of anxiety. Having been an anxiety/panic prone person for decades, and having searched for answers on Internet, I get to know some of the possible symptoms of anxiety disorder, such as tightness of chest, shortness of breath, chest pain, tightness of the throat, tensed muscles and stiffness, headaches of all kinds, tinkling or needling sensation on the skull, dizziness, disoriented, nervous stomach, loss of appetite, feeling impending danger, phobia, wandering fears, anxious of the unknown and about the future, adrenalin rush, sweating, repeated nightmares, etc, etc. For a more complete list, you can read up this link: http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-attack-symptoms.shtml

I was having lots of those horrible sensations of anxiety on top of the ultra high pitched T and severe hyperacusis. What a 'hell' of a life was that? Honestly didn't know how I would cope with these unbearable sensations at the start of T & H. Thanks God that He had protected me through the tough time that I didn't commit the unthinkable act. The brain would suggest that when it is super stressed, sensed despair and no way out. But we need to hang in there for time and the body to do its miracle healing.

 

[billie48]

Hi, @billie48: I read your comment with great interest. I am soon to be 59. I would say that prior to tinnitus, nobody who knew me would have described me as "anxious." I was the one that friends turned to in a crisis, got my life together on my own after an unexpected divorce, successfully worked a stressful job for decades. Yet the CBT that I went through in order to cope with my tinnitus and the panic attacks that came with it ultimately helped me see, to my great surprise, that I probably have been chronically anxious since I was a young adult. I just did a really, really good job of covering it up and avoiding dealing with it, in some ways that were not healthy.

I think part of my hidden anxiety was a lot of instability in childhood -- and also that my brain is just hardwired that way. But being able to finally see it, and learn to deal with it in a healthy way, was a great gift that my tinnitus gave me. I don't believe anxiety caused my T. Barotrauma did. But I think anxiety contributed to it, and certainly had an impact on my adjusting to it.

So it is great that your daughter is dealing with this now. Bless you for being such a kind and supportive father. Sometimes, even people who love you don't understand why you can't just "snap out of it" when you suddenly develop anxiety. Tell your daughter there is nothing wrong with her -- this is just the way that we anxious people are, for whatever reason. We can lead healthy and productive lives by learning to live with our anxiety.

When I first developed my panic disorder post-tinnitus, I started seeking out people who also had anxiety and could support me. I was amazed at those who stepped forward, some of whom I had known for years and had no clue they suffered from anxiety. One was a super-confident woman who speaks multiple languages and works for the military. My favorite editor, who I worked with for years; his anxiety was so crippling that initially, he couldn't sleep for days, he told me.

I really suggest, as I did with @Erlend, that your daughter have some anxiety-focused therapy from a good therapist to go with those meds. I believe (and research shows), meds and therapy together are most effective. Sounds like she has what is called "social anxiety" -- avoiding social situations can make it worse. It's more common than you might think. Give her a hug for me and tell her she is going to be OK, and have the life she wants.

PS: Always enjoy your posts, as many here do. Thanks for being part of the TT community.

Thanks for your awesome reply, LadyDi. Thank you very much for sharing and thanks for the kind words. I will forward this to my daughter. Yes, my daughter is a super-confident and talented lady, a summa cum laude (first class honor) in university. She is kind of like a perfectionist of sort. Perhaps this trait can trigger anxiety when dealing with a stressful period of life because a perfectionist tends not wanting to flow with life but to insist on things happening according to plan or ambition. It is tougher for people with this trait to accept and let things be. When things appear a bit out of control, hidden anxiety may build to a point it finally bursts through to the surface with its symptoms.

 

[Ken219]

I agree with @billie48 It takes time and when it happens it is a miracle. I wish I can tell you how to switch the ignore button on, Time, takes time. It is a hell of a ride but it takes time.

 

[Erlend]

the anxiety is down to normal / not really a problem at all, but my face feels extremely tense. i guess it's because im now relaxed, that i feel how tense it has been.