Screaming Children

Discussion in 'Support' started by Lulubug69, Oct 29, 2013.

tinnitus forum
    1. Lulubug69
      Artistic

      Lulubug69 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      9/2013
      Went with my friend to the hospital for her to get a CT. Was sitting quietly when all of a sudden a young child about a year old started screeching, she was in an Atrium which echoed the sound so loudly that everyone was wincing. It was like nails on a chalk board. But, I was the only one with my fingers in my ears. I was not expecting to react so strongly, I was a little embarrased. Thank goodness my friend was with me and we joked/laughed about it. Has anyone been caught off guard like that? My ears have always been sensitive to such sounds, but it sure seems that it increased since T started.
       
    2. Per

      Per Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2013
      I understand you. My H is pretty bad and when your caught off guard like that the sound becomes more threatening. It really hurts physically. Kids screaming are the worst kind cause it's hard to predict if you don't see them. If I get the chance to avoid kids I grab the opportunity cause I don't wanna stick around for pain. H is somewhat easier to deal with in terms of treatment compared to the big T. I'm in the process of getting a noise generator calibrated, so I'm a bit anxious to see how that goes.
       
    3. Amelia
      Daring

      Amelia Member

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2013
      I have 2 young children who have awesomely high screams. So yeah :)
       
    4. Per

      Per Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2013
      Do u have bad H Amelia? Life has changed so much since I was hit by the H, it struck me hard just about three days after I got T. I'm not a parent myself but I'm an uncle. I just can't see those kids right now cause of the H. Severe T&H really alters your life. Wish the H to get better so I can stop hiding from everything that makes loud noise, those high pitched ones are the worst.
       
    5. yonkapin

      yonkapin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Melbourne, Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      March 2012
      I was at the hospital yesterday actually, some dude was rolling some bed past and it was outputting some nasty loud beeps, I was like what the hell? I just plugged my ears and kept walking, don't really care if I look strange anymore haha. Damn hyperacusis.
       
    6. derpytia
      Pooptoast

      derpytia Member

      Location:
      Rescue, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Hearing loss / ETD
      I've never been a fan of screaming/crying children (or children in general to be quite honest). But every time I go to work or go out in public, someone's child is throwing a fit. And I don't mean their just crying. 99% of the time they are out and out screaming bloody murder because they didn't get their way or their parents wouldn't buy them something. And most of the time, the parents give in or don't try to discipline the child to let them know that it isn't okay to do that! And every time it makes my T spike and my stress levels go up. Sometimes (of course when I'm not working) I just want to go up and ask the parent/caretaker to please take their kid outside or away from the vicinity but I feel that's just pushing it. I understand that children cannot communicate their feelings or wants/needs as effectively as adults and that's why they cry a lot but I shouldn't have to endure screaming, misbehaving children that aren't mine! Ugh, it's so frustrating.
       
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    7. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      I agree with you!
      I work for the dental hospital and on Friday this kid in the waiting area was crying her lungs and eyes out, for good few hours!
      For f..k sake, women take the bloody kid out.
      It's not only disruptive for other people waiting but also for us working there.
      I hate spoilt kids and irresponsible parents.
      Sorry if it sounds too harsh but as things are going I'm not sure there's much to look forward to when it comes to younger generations:(
       
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    8. nogood
      Torn

      nogood Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ototoxicity/infection
      This cannot be avoided, ear plugs would be a good answer.
      I personaly love kids :D:LOL: they are just being kids its parents who should know better.
      Sometimes OK to ask them to go out or ask them to calm their children, but should apply some common sense and should not appear\be rude to them.
      @valeri crying for few hrs.. Lol ..10-15 mins is good enough time for me to kick them out, esp in a hospital.
      Most parents will cooperate if u approach them in proper way.
      Talk in a way that shows more concern for the kid, get their number and ask them to wait outside and say u will call them just before their turn.
       
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    9. Hengist
      Blah

      Hengist Member

      Location:
      Croatia
      Tinnitus Since:
      8/7/2014
      Since you choose not to act upon your distress than you should accept that for the rest of your life you will have this problem with small children. Children on the beach also annoy me because of their illogical need to scream instead of talk about the minute details of their beach experiance so I act upon in as to not to go to the beach in the hours children screaming are a dominant SFX but in the early mornings or afternoons. Interestingly those irresposible parents are also bringing their kids to the beach in times of greatest danger of radiation and sunburns.

      If I was asked parenting would be an obligatory school subject like history or mathematics is, as many kids become parents themselves and know shit about what proper parenting is, particularly as their parents are likely to have failed at that task. You can see that most of people who have children have never read a pedagogy book or even used common sense when it comes to THEIR little angels.
       
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    10. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      Nicely said and so true!
      Public hospitals are "living" proof of that sort of failed chained parenting!
      We in public sector witness this on a daily basis:(

      @nogood
      It's the main waiting area on the ground floor so they can only go outside from there.
      I work in radiology so if they happen to be in our waiting area (only 10m away from the main one) I just say that due to radiation safety they need to take kids to the main waiting area LOL
      Since most people don't have much knowledge about radiation they literally run for cover:)
      That's my way of getting some peace and quite:)
       
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    11. Rhea
      Volatile

      Rhea Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Oh wow I am so feeling what you are saying here!...I have HAD IT with screaming children...I got trapped next to one in the queue in the supermarket and I couldn't leave as I was half way through scanning my shopping - the whole time this child was screaming at the top of it's lungs right next to me...to say it made me stressed is an understatement....my t has spiked since and still not come back down as of yet...hopefully it will.

      I blame the parents most of the time, they just seem to let their kids scream and throw a fit and ignore it like it's not even happening! I too have wanted to tell the parent to control their child. I would be so embarrassed if I had a child and was out in public and it was throwing a fit like that, talk about demonstrating how inefficient your parenting skills are...doesn't do the kids any good either, they will probably end up like rude, spoilt adults.

      If I never see another child again as long as I live, then that will be just fine by me lol
       
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    12. Jay M
      Thinking

      Jay M Member

      Location:
      South Carolina, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      4/4/14
      Ha! You guys sound like you don't have kids yet. I say this in a light hearted tone but I don't care how many books you've read or classes you've taken, it doesnt mean anything until you are raising your child or children. They all have different needs and personalities. Those outbursts are only inconveniencing you at the moment. Imagine being a parent w T? You cant keep kids quiet like you think and its even harder in public bc of all the visual and audible stimulation that most of us have become used to or that child could not be feeling well. People w/o children complaining about parents and their children makes me laugh now. My wife and I used to be just like you! I can tell this its not easy bc its a war zone of dirty diapers, dishes, disassembled toys, full laundry baskets and other endless chores. Oh and you have to feed everyone too. So the next time you see a child outbursting, sympathize for that parent bc they know it bothers you but they just dont hve the energy to deal or they are trying to get their child used to being out in public. Plus parents have simply habituated to their kids screaming. ;)
       
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    13. Greg Clarke

      Greg Clarke Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Wicklow, Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2006
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, Live Music
      I agree with everything you've said there Jay. Believe it or not, sometimes ignoring a tantrum or an outburst is the only way, if the child sees they are getting attention from it it's only opening the floodgates really. Most parents will be absolutely mortified themselves with this type of behaviour, I remember the first time my daughter had a tantrum in public - a crowded post office, wasn't pleasant and I was met with numerous dirty looks but ultimately there isn't a whole lot you can do. Very easy to say that you would do otherwise when you don't have children yourself.
       
    14. Marlene
      English

      Marlene Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Poole Dorset England
      Tinnitus Since:
      July 1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Bacterial virus
      My old mum use to say my 2 kids were like tin soldiers,yes I had rules to behavior,they knew that ,I knew I could take them anywhere,into any home ,they knew not to touch people's things .like moving ornaments etc ,out of their way .Never moved things in my home .
      Now to kids screaming ,another thing parents ignore,people don't want other peoples darling screaming endlessly ,I sure as hell don't with this T going on .Supermarkets are the pits for it ,choose evening shopping ,when I know people's kids are in bed tucked up .
      I love kids,but there's a limit.My 2 have grown up good decent human beings ,older than many on this site ,so it never hurt them having being brought up on rules.
      Parents seem to switch off to their kids making a fuss,give into them one big mistake .They end up ruling you end of the day .Whose the parent .?
      Kids like rules,they make for better adults .This from one old ,old mum .
       
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    15. jimH
      No Mood

      jimH Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      30 years+
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      I remember, when I was in my "Dennis the Menace" years, my Mom giving thanks to God regarding me. It was after I had just done something. She raised her eyes to heaven and said, "Thank you Lord that jimmy wasn't twins!"...:D
       
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    16. nogood
      Torn

      nogood Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ototoxicity/infection
      As long as ur excuses works its no big deal..what the excue is..
      Even though i dont have kids if my own my cousin's kids knw me as a strict uncle who is also fun one to hang out with.
      Kids have lots of energy they need to let it out.. all parents need to do is condition them to know when and where to let it out..
      Kids below 5 yrs need pampering and above 5 yrs needs discipline. . These word are from my late grand father..
      When i take my cousin brother/sisters kids out to park or play ground we usually go crazy and i also encourage to do so. When its time to study its absolute sliences in house. I never scolded any of them so far..
      In this fast paced world everything is different. . It has its own issues and complexity.
      Little common sense, understanding and compassion makes huge difference.


       
    17. nogood
      Torn

      nogood Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ototoxicity/infection
      @Jay M i totally agree with you.. 100%
      ..only time i would ever be angry on a parent is when they punish a kid in public for kids being and acting like a kid. .to me If kids are not kicking and yelling and crying and laughing and running around they are just dolls.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    18. Marlene
      English

      Marlene Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Poole Dorset England
      Tinnitus Since:
      July 1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Bacterial virus
      My 2 weren't dolls I can firmly say ,they were kids simply raised on rules that were acceptable ,taught from an early age ,no capital punishment involved ,just consequences to bad behaviour .No favourite past times etc .thats all it takes .Kids quickly learn ,give them some credit ,2 yr olds learn how to push your buttons.No means no .parents give in to quick,just to get some peace and quiet . I've seen it out there ,supermarkets prime place to seeing it ,shove crisp,sweets at them for that peace and quiet .What does that teach them ,kick up a fuss ,you then get what You want .
      My 2 had a good upbringing ,firm but fair ,my husband will tell you what I've just said ,maybe my different approach to my kids up bringing ,they were service kids,lots of days spent raising them on my own ,no family supporting me .Giving me a break ,to amuse my 2 .Nothing more my daughter who lives locally love more to do is coming to mum for a cuddle in ,and she's 43/44 .Out of the blue I will get a flower delivery ,by my kids ,I do the same to the daughter as a surprise .Son not into flowers ,if he was I'd be sending them to him to .
       
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    19. Michael2013
      Happy

      Michael2013 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      September 2013
      This is what I think people without kids don't understand as well. If you're in the checkout line and your kid starts screaming because they want to leave or because they want something, you could give in and appease them. Or let them throw their little tantrum and learn they aren't going to get what they want by acting that way and hopefully put a stop to that behavior permanently. Either way it's a bad situation for the parents because it makes people around them assume what a bad parent they are or it teaches the kid that bad behavior equals a reward. The right balance needs to be found. Of course, there ARE some bad parents out there who simply don't handle this well.

      Speaking of screaming children, my 5 month old decided to scream at the absolute top of his lungs for about 45 solid minutes last night. I think he just wasn't feeling well so there simply wasn't anything I could do to calm him. For those of you who complain of having to hear a crying child in a checkout line, be thankful you weren't holding them where their mouth was inches from your ears. :eek: After all that 110dbs of fun last night, I'm not feeling particularly empathetic toward those who might have to hear my kid cry for a few minutes in a public place. :whistle:

      -Mike
       
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    20. Marlene
      English

      Marlene Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Poole Dorset England
      Tinnitus Since:
      July 1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Bacterial virus
      Baby's cry,been there done that twice ,think the point few here are making is the kids of an age ,where you take them out of that situation,if possible .they make sure the louder the fuss they make ,more a parent will give in .
      It's what they do ,they're quick to learning that ,from 2 yrs on .
      With babies ,it's from various things ,so a baby crying is totally different ,1st one it's a learning curve ,by the 2nd you know the sound of a baby's cry it will mean something to you ,and what it means .
      A baby crying I've got no problem with ,it's when they get older,draw the line on my having to listen to a kid screaming ,which then follows me all round a supermarket ,I'm the one wanting out of the shop .Hey I've got no screaming kids with me ,but my shop can be cut short with having T .Something wrong with that picture .
       
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    21. carol kane
      Wishful

      carol kane Member

      Location:
      Lincolnshire united kingdom
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/13
      A man takes his 5 yr old Grandson into a supermarket and the child starts screaming and shouting at the top of his voice, the man says don't worry Charlie it will soon be over, again and again the man is saying keep calm don't fret Charlie you'll be out here soon and you'll never have to do this again !! an old lady is listening and watching as the man keeps talking words of reassurance, mean while the child is going crazy kicking his Granddad and throwing himself on the floor, but the man just keeps saying Charlie you're going to be ok ... in the end the old lady approaches the man and says Charlie is a very lucky boy to have a Granddad like you, the man says he's not Charlie I'M Charlie, that little fuckers name is John. tee hee.
       
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    22. Marlene
      English

      Marlene Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Poole Dorset England
      Tinnitus Since:
      July 1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Bacterial virus
      This gave me and husband a good chuckle when I read it to him Carol.really funny .Good one .
       
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    23. carol kane
      Wishful

      carol kane Member

      Location:
      Lincolnshire united kingdom
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/13
      Marlene i'm glad you and your husband laughed at this ... x
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    24. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      • Agree Agree x 1
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    25. Rhea
      Volatile

      Rhea Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Firstly I will not be having children - T has put a no option condition on that one...luckily for me I was never that bothered about having them anyway. I really feel for anyone that has developed T after having children it must be a real challenge to dodge child noise all the time and I absolutely salute you!

      I don't get angry at babies crying, I understand that at that age they cannot be "taught" not to cry or scream and it is their only way to tell the parent they need changing/are hungry etc But children like 2/3 upwards, I firmly believe if proper parenting is delivered and the child has been taught who is "boss" (eg the parent not them) and have been raised with rules in place then there is no reason for them to be screaming at the top of their lungs and throwing a fit.(Just to be clear here I am not complaining about the odd whinge or moan...or about a child who has hurt themselves etc ...I am talking about the blatantly obvious " I am a spoilt brat" tantrums.) I never behaved that way, neither did my two sisters, nor my two nieces - all were brought up with discipline. My cousins however who had little discipline were noisy screaming kids and have turned out to be thoughtless adults.

      No the parent shouldn't give in when their kids are having a fit for cookies or whatever it is they want, but I don't want to have to deal with their hearing threatening high decibel level screaming just because the parent has "run out of energy" (as someone suggested) to deal with it. If you can't be bothered to tell them off and you don't want to give in to their demands, at least take them away from the rest of the public so we don't have to be exposed to that noise.

      Also, I never understand why people have children and then complain about how tiring it is and all the issues etc...it is a choice you make to have a child, it's not compulsory.

      I know I will probably get flack for this post, but I feel so strongly about it I had to post.
       
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    26. ampumpkin
      Amused

      ampumpkin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Montreal
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 12/2007 Increase: 04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2007: Meds(Antidepressant) 2014: Meds(Antibiotics)
      I have 3 kids, aged 7, 5 and 2. I got T a few months after my first daughter was born.

      Yes, sometimes, they can be VERY loud. My 2 daughters know that "mommy's ears sometimes hurt" and I tell them sometimes to lower the volume of the TV and to stop making so much noise. My son is 2 and when he starts knocking toys on the glass table, it shakes my whole brain!! good God!!!!!!!!!

      But honestly, my kids distract me form T and I am grateful for that.
       
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    27. ampumpkin
      Amused

      ampumpkin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Montreal
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 12/2007 Increase: 04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2007: Meds(Antidepressant) 2014: Meds(Antibiotics)
      I am amazed at the lack of tolerance towards children that is expressed on this post.

      Sad, really sad.
       
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    28. Michael2013
      Happy

      Michael2013 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      September 2013
      Some of the best, most rewarding things in life are also some of the most challenging. Because a person chose to have kids doesn't mean they lose their right to complain about the hard days. My guess is the same people you refer to would also instantly tell you they wouldn't trade their kids for the world. I wouldn't. Not even after last night.

      Mike
       
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    29. ampumpkin
      Amused

      ampumpkin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Montreal
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 12/2007 Increase: 04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2007: Meds(Antidepressant) 2014: Meds(Antibiotics)
      Being a mom is most beautiful thing I have ever done but also the most difficult.

      I understand that it can be annoying for non-parents when kids scream. I try to "control" them and teach them good manners but it's not always easy.

      As for me, I thank my kids for being there, even thought I have T. Because I would probably be dead if it weren't for them.
       
    30. derpytia
      Pooptoast

      derpytia Member

      Location:
      Rescue, California
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Hearing loss / ETD
      You know I started this post as a way to vent my frustrations when it came to my T being affected by children who scream loudly (even when I wear earplugs). I never said I hate children or have no tolerance for them. I just don't feel like I should have to be feeling "A-OK" when I have to put up with children who scream and throw tantrums. But apparently it was misconstrued as a complaining about children and parenting in general thread and that's not okay. Let's make it clear that I don't hate children and even though I have none of my own I have friends who are parents so I understand parenting is hard and children are not always going to be perfect. Like I said in the first place, I understand that children have a lack of understanding of how to communicate effectively what they feel at a young age. I'm just frustrated that it spikes me T so much and I can't just leave the vicinity.
       
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