- Sep 13, 2020
- 84
- Tinnitus Since
- 2013 initial, worsened 2020
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Initial Music Gig, Worsened Cinema or possible covid
Hello All,
I am posting this as at the moment I am feeling totally desperate and to make it worse I have no one to blame but myself.
I have had tinnitus for a very long time since my early 20s from going to pubs / clubs (am now 42). About 7 years ago was the first time I got tinnitus which was for me what I considered bad as I heard it over everything, not just in silence. I was going through a phase of saying yes to everything after being in some bad times with depression I thought I would try and get out and enjoy life.
Unfortunately I said yes to going to a gig with my friend. He went to them all the time, for me it was the first one. After I came out I knew something was very wrong and that was my introduction to bad tinnitus.
I was scared I wouldn't make it out of it with the panics and fears I had but after years it drowned out, I don't know if it got quieter or if I habituated. I have lived a life where I have been able to do pretty much what I want, nightclubs and gigs were avoided and if I was going to a bar I would take my ear plugs.
Now 3 weeks ago the COVID-19 lockdown was at an end and I went to the cinema... I enjoyed seeing a movie in ages. It was loud, I knew it was loud but I have been going to the cinema before with no problems, not wearing ear plugs. I watched the movie and enjoyed it like everyone else.
When I came out of the cinema I felt fine. Over the next few days the tinnitus came overbearing again (not as bad as some of you guys have it on here but for me I can hear it over everything I normally do and it's freaking me out).
Now 3 weeks later I have pain ear pain, sometimes in one, sometimes both ears, and my face. The pain gets worse to the end of the day. I can mask the tinnitus so I am lucky but it is very loud (to me). I am hearing it all the time over anything I do, though I don't know if it's louder like it was before or if I am just hearing it again.
I now have a 20-month-old daughter and have gone from being a good tentative daddy to someone who is just obsessing over the noise in my head. I am scared of her giggling or shouting which she does all the time. I am constantly putting her down and grabbing my earplugs which I hate.
I am in the UK and have tried getting an appointment with GP but am still waiting. I called a couple of times to say am totally desperate but still got to wait, I figure they will do nothing, then it will be another wait for the ENT who again can do nothing.
I keep waking up in panic attacks and my anxiety is going through the roof, if it was just the noise then that would be something but the pain in the ears and face and the fear of it getting worse, I am just struggling to cope.
All this is magnified by the fact that I have been through this and I have done it to myself being stupid. I sat and watched a movie even though I knew it was loud, I just didn't think of the aftermath because I have been doing ok. How stupid am I.
When I read about it or look at stuff it's screaming more, I need to try and forget about it but am obsessing over it.
Is there any hope can you habituate a second time?
Thank you all.
I am posting this as at the moment I am feeling totally desperate and to make it worse I have no one to blame but myself.
I have had tinnitus for a very long time since my early 20s from going to pubs / clubs (am now 42). About 7 years ago was the first time I got tinnitus which was for me what I considered bad as I heard it over everything, not just in silence. I was going through a phase of saying yes to everything after being in some bad times with depression I thought I would try and get out and enjoy life.
Unfortunately I said yes to going to a gig with my friend. He went to them all the time, for me it was the first one. After I came out I knew something was very wrong and that was my introduction to bad tinnitus.
I was scared I wouldn't make it out of it with the panics and fears I had but after years it drowned out, I don't know if it got quieter or if I habituated. I have lived a life where I have been able to do pretty much what I want, nightclubs and gigs were avoided and if I was going to a bar I would take my ear plugs.
Now 3 weeks ago the COVID-19 lockdown was at an end and I went to the cinema... I enjoyed seeing a movie in ages. It was loud, I knew it was loud but I have been going to the cinema before with no problems, not wearing ear plugs. I watched the movie and enjoyed it like everyone else.
When I came out of the cinema I felt fine. Over the next few days the tinnitus came overbearing again (not as bad as some of you guys have it on here but for me I can hear it over everything I normally do and it's freaking me out).
Now 3 weeks later I have pain ear pain, sometimes in one, sometimes both ears, and my face. The pain gets worse to the end of the day. I can mask the tinnitus so I am lucky but it is very loud (to me). I am hearing it all the time over anything I do, though I don't know if it's louder like it was before or if I am just hearing it again.
I now have a 20-month-old daughter and have gone from being a good tentative daddy to someone who is just obsessing over the noise in my head. I am scared of her giggling or shouting which she does all the time. I am constantly putting her down and grabbing my earplugs which I hate.
I am in the UK and have tried getting an appointment with GP but am still waiting. I called a couple of times to say am totally desperate but still got to wait, I figure they will do nothing, then it will be another wait for the ENT who again can do nothing.
I keep waking up in panic attacks and my anxiety is going through the roof, if it was just the noise then that would be something but the pain in the ears and face and the fear of it getting worse, I am just struggling to cope.
All this is magnified by the fact that I have been through this and I have done it to myself being stupid. I sat and watched a movie even though I knew it was loud, I just didn't think of the aftermath because I have been doing ok. How stupid am I.
When I read about it or look at stuff it's screaming more, I need to try and forget about it but am obsessing over it.
Is there any hope can you habituate a second time?
Thank you all.