I have joined this forum because I have tinnitus caused by concussion. I had a mental breakdown and began punching myself in the head repeatedly. I must have punched myself a few dozen times over the course of a few days. My mom called the cops and I was ultimately admitted to a psychiatric hospital. A few days later while inside the tinnitus started.
I have read that most concussion-related tinnitus eventually resolves. I am looking for some reassurance that this is likely to be the case. Needless to say I will never be engaging in this self destructive activity ever again. But I fear it may be too late and that I will have to live with the decisions I made in an ill state of mind for the rest of my life.
I am desperately in need of emotional support and reassurance that this is likely to resolve. I have found myself reviewing my entire life before the tinnitus and thinking about how my other problems pale in comparison to this one. I break down crying several days each week and can't seem to feel optimistic about anything. Despite my mental health issues, I rarely cry in general, and to cry multiple times a day, multiple days a week, is very out of the ordinary for me. I feel totally alone and ashamed. People don't understand what it's like because visually I look fine, but I feel like I am locked in a prison inside my own mind!
Some details:
- The tinnitus is in one ear only, corresponding to my temporal lobe where I was punching myself on the opposite side of my head repeatedly. It is mostly very high pitched, ~14khz. Sometimes it is 7khz, but usually the higher frequency predominates.
- The sound does not prevent me from sleeping if I have a fan on low as I usually do. It does not seem to be overwhelmingly loud like that for others on this forum. I would say it is usually a 2-4.
- At this point the tinnitus has lasted 5 weeks. It does not seem to be getting worse.
- Yesterday I had ~10 hours of almost continuous silence. What a beautiful day! I certainly made the most of it listening to music and doing other things. There have been other days where the sound inexplicably disappears for several hours or dies down significantly, only to reappear later, shattering any previous optimism I may have felt.
- I ran a 6 day course of prednisone several weeks back after an ENT wrote me a prescription. He said that he believes that the problem is likely to resolve because I am only 28 and don't seem to have dramatic hearing loss that is apparent. (I have an audiology exam several weeks from now to test officially.) This seemed to help quite a bit while I was on the drug as I would have many hours of complete silence during the day, and the intensity of the sound was otherwise decreased. In addition, the hearing sensitivity of both of my ears seemed to equalize, whereas now the sensitivity to high frequencies often seems dulled on one side. This seems to suggest that the machinery of hearing is intact for me, and that the problem could be related to inflammation in the brain which is now known to be responsible for post concussive symptoms based on studies that have come out in the past few years. Prednisone is of course a powerful anti-inflammatory.
- I am confident that my ear is not damaged and that only my brain is affected.
- I am experiencing a few other symptoms of post-concussive disorder, but not that many. I have some vivid dreams, persistent dull headaches for the past week or so, and some out of the ordinary fatigue but not overwhelmingly so.
- My memory, concentration, sense of balance, sense of reason, and other things seem to be unaffected. I was never knocked unconscious. I have been told by others that my personality seems to be the same.
- A CT scan done a few days ago came back negative, as they usually do.
- I don't think I am suffering form hyperacusis.
Any support or encouraging advice is more than welcome. I feel stupid posting on here because many other people seem to have tinnitus caused by factors outside of their control, but I have only my own mental illness and suicidality to blame. The ironic thing is that endless noise in our neighborhood caused me to snap and start hitting myself. I was angry that I couldn't escape the noise outside, and now it doesn't make a difference if I do or not.
The only positive thing to come out of this is an increased appreciation for the social support I have in life because it is really the only thing that seems to make each day manageable, and barely so at that.
I have read that most concussion-related tinnitus eventually resolves. I am looking for some reassurance that this is likely to be the case. Needless to say I will never be engaging in this self destructive activity ever again. But I fear it may be too late and that I will have to live with the decisions I made in an ill state of mind for the rest of my life.
I am desperately in need of emotional support and reassurance that this is likely to resolve. I have found myself reviewing my entire life before the tinnitus and thinking about how my other problems pale in comparison to this one. I break down crying several days each week and can't seem to feel optimistic about anything. Despite my mental health issues, I rarely cry in general, and to cry multiple times a day, multiple days a week, is very out of the ordinary for me. I feel totally alone and ashamed. People don't understand what it's like because visually I look fine, but I feel like I am locked in a prison inside my own mind!
Some details:
- The tinnitus is in one ear only, corresponding to my temporal lobe where I was punching myself on the opposite side of my head repeatedly. It is mostly very high pitched, ~14khz. Sometimes it is 7khz, but usually the higher frequency predominates.
- The sound does not prevent me from sleeping if I have a fan on low as I usually do. It does not seem to be overwhelmingly loud like that for others on this forum. I would say it is usually a 2-4.
- At this point the tinnitus has lasted 5 weeks. It does not seem to be getting worse.
- Yesterday I had ~10 hours of almost continuous silence. What a beautiful day! I certainly made the most of it listening to music and doing other things. There have been other days where the sound inexplicably disappears for several hours or dies down significantly, only to reappear later, shattering any previous optimism I may have felt.
- I ran a 6 day course of prednisone several weeks back after an ENT wrote me a prescription. He said that he believes that the problem is likely to resolve because I am only 28 and don't seem to have dramatic hearing loss that is apparent. (I have an audiology exam several weeks from now to test officially.) This seemed to help quite a bit while I was on the drug as I would have many hours of complete silence during the day, and the intensity of the sound was otherwise decreased. In addition, the hearing sensitivity of both of my ears seemed to equalize, whereas now the sensitivity to high frequencies often seems dulled on one side. This seems to suggest that the machinery of hearing is intact for me, and that the problem could be related to inflammation in the brain which is now known to be responsible for post concussive symptoms based on studies that have come out in the past few years. Prednisone is of course a powerful anti-inflammatory.
- I am confident that my ear is not damaged and that only my brain is affected.
- I am experiencing a few other symptoms of post-concussive disorder, but not that many. I have some vivid dreams, persistent dull headaches for the past week or so, and some out of the ordinary fatigue but not overwhelmingly so.
- My memory, concentration, sense of balance, sense of reason, and other things seem to be unaffected. I was never knocked unconscious. I have been told by others that my personality seems to be the same.
- A CT scan done a few days ago came back negative, as they usually do.
- I don't think I am suffering form hyperacusis.
Any support or encouraging advice is more than welcome. I feel stupid posting on here because many other people seem to have tinnitus caused by factors outside of their control, but I have only my own mental illness and suicidality to blame. The ironic thing is that endless noise in our neighborhood caused me to snap and start hitting myself. I was angry that I couldn't escape the noise outside, and now it doesn't make a difference if I do or not.
The only positive thing to come out of this is an increased appreciation for the social support I have in life because it is really the only thing that seems to make each day manageable, and barely so at that.
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