So I Borrowed Hearing Aids. It's the Hearing Loss That Bothers Me.

My problem is a very small one? Oh wow, thanks. I said the same thing about other people who bitched about tinnitus too a couple of years ago when I had it then too without the hearing loss.

Guess what, I would literally take giving up a leg to amputation to get my hearing back and have my old t back.

That guy in the video can work and think. As can Stephen Hawking. I used to look up to people like that when I had my last health issue. Now I can't even think anymore.

 

jdjd09,

I am in a very similar boat, wearing BTE hearing aids since age 24. I joined the forum specifically to reply to you, as I can relate to what you've written really well.

First: I was able to establish a relationship with a girl that did not mind my wearing hearing aids. So it is possible.

What I found problematic was the lack of understanding on her part. Not so she could accommodate me, but so she could simply understand where I was coming from in terms of life experience.

Also, I need captions to understand a movie. I wouldn't ask for captions for fear of feeling like a burden. So I wore my hearing aids while watching Netflix without captions. But of course hearing aids whistle and don't feel very comfortable when you're trying to cuddle with a girl. So you take them off and now you're missing 30-40% of the movie and might as well not be watching.

Little things like that caused me to break it off and not bother with dating any more.

Hearing people will never understand what it is like to be hard-of-hearing.

And the whole point of an intimate relationship - at least to me - is to "get" the other person. In my experience, that can never happen between one person who hears normally and another who's hearing is impaired.

I felt suicidal throughout much of my 20s. For me, the sugarcoating and political correctness was more depressing than the hearing loss itself.

Here is what has helped me to obtain what I would call a moderate level of happiness and contentment (I'm 30 now):

1) I learned how to code. This is in-demand, can be done from home, and doesn't require a lot of meetings or interaction with co-workers. I'm a web developer now and on track to make over 100k this year.

2) I have accepted that I will never have a girl friend or a family life. Instead, I travel multiple times per year to places where paid sex is legal.

I get sex from the kind of girl I want, and she gets a hefty fee in exchange. Thanks to the fee, they have no problem accommodating me (i.e. not whispering in my ear and expecting me to hear them) and I don't feel like a burden since i'm paying her so well.

I really recommend you Google "mgtow" and "the red pill" to get a reality-check when it comes to getting a girlfriend and the huge risks and costs involved in dating and starting a family.

3) I have joined Facebook groups that have other young adults with hearing loss. I now have a couple friends I communicate with regularly.

Even having one friend that you can speak the truth to about your experience can make all the difference.

4) I got hearing aids, even though I run into patronization and people who make negative assumptions about me because of it.

The patronization and negative assumptions are relatively rare, but they are a constant headache of mine. For some reason, a lot of people cannot see this or don't want to see it. Ignore them.

In spite of the negatives, the hearing aids make hearing other people so much easier that I'm willing to wear them at work. I don't think I could down my job long term without them.

5) I prioritized my own experience over the experiences of others.

Hearing loss is unique to each individual. So ultimately YOU need to decide what YOU want, what works for YOU, and what DOESN'T work for YOU.

You can email me at anonx@fastmail.net if you ever want to correspond privately.

-

 

Hey, thanks for the reply. Can I ask how bad your hearing loss is? Also how loud or annoying your tinnitus is?

I ask because I am very much like you and love coding. I was very good at it before all this happened. Now I wonder if I'll ever be able to concentrate again.

I'm considering getting hearing aids to help even out my hearing when I work and then take them out when I don't need to concentrate on stuff. But idk.

I still feel I could get a relationship with hearing aids. Just that I feel some out there may judge them is all. Idk.

Anyways, I may email you too of course. Just easier to reply on here for now though with my phone.

 

Serious question though, can one really habituate to fluxuating, loud, non maskable tinnitus with uneven hearing? Can this really be done?

 

My brother in law has bilateral hearing aids...and he is HOT. The women swoon all over him. It's' not that he's movie star material...it's that he's such a damned great guy! Women adore this man! I used to see a young guy at my gym (before Meniere's killed my workouts) who wore 2 hearing aids. I'm embarrassed to tell you my thoughts! LOL! He was SUCH a nice guy!! His hearing aids certainly didn't hold him back, physically or socially. If I were 40 years younger, I would have nabbed him...AND his hearing aids! LOL!

Believe me, women are NOT looking at your ears. Not to mention, hearing aids are actually becoming "cool" because you can blue tooth them to your cell phone and stream music, videos, etc... It's like one more sophisticated gadget! And more and more hearing-impaired musicians from the loud rock era of the 70's are helping to design them...and giving them the "extra cool" factor.

I know you don't want to hear platitudes from "old people"..But.....(stop being so ageist! Just kidding...LOL!) I'm 59, and currently being fitted for hearing aids. The one I'm trying now is practically invisible. The mic/receiver is behing my ear, and a clear tube runs from that, deep into my ear canal, where the little ear piece sits. You can barely see them. (I'll bet you've passed by many guys in their 20's with hearing aids, but you just didn't notice them.). But you know what? If I had to wear a transistor radio size box in my pocket and run a telephone cord from that thing to my ears, I would. I can't believe how much more I can hear...even with this #$%* tinnitus getting in the way!) I can hear SO many things that I haven't heard in a year! I'd forgotten how beautiful they were! I thought smy alarm clock was broken. I thought my car alarm was broken. I thought the birds had decided to go to someone else's yard. I thought I was beginning to hate music, which was previously, my life! It was all because of my hearing loss. All of that stuff is not broken, and it's still there! My ears were broken.

You're young. You have too much to hear, yet. Go for it, and wear your hearing aids with confidence. The more you can hear, the more can participate, and the more confident you'll become. If you would pass a girl up because she wore hearing aids, then I get why you might be stuck with these fears; They might be a reflection of your own views about people who need assistive devices, and that can be worked out. But if not? Take the advice of all of the wise people who have been advising you to go for it! There's nothing to fear. And you have 30 days to change your mind if you hate them! It's a win-win.

Best of luck to all.....
J

 

I have a moderately severe hearing loss in the upper frequencies. See attached audiogram.

My tinnitus is rare and mild.

I haven't read all of your personal details but from what I've read your problem seems different.

So again...put your own experience first. I've only written what worked for me.

I have to admit, that is encouraging!

 

Hello

What do you mean your tinnitus is rare?