So I Guess This Is My Story!

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Skvarre, Jan 3, 2016.

    1. Skvarre

      Skvarre Member

      PiteƄ, Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009, worse 06/2015
      Hey Guys!

      Where can I start? My tinnitus started in eight grade when a girl literally screamed in my ear as a "prank" - turns out the prank wasn't that fun. Up 'til this day she has felt really bad about it and I've never given her a hard time for it, she knows that she was a jerk in high school. This girl is irrelevant, what is relevant though is my T. It started out as a very high pitch sound and frankly it wasn't that big of a deal. I didn't hear it a lot and the only time that I could hear it was pretty much when I was trying to sleep.

      My tinnitus was never a major issue until 2015. First of all it became worse after I went to a concert in May, the high pitch sound became more clear. After that I started to wear ear plugs very frequently, and tried to protect my ears. However, one evening me and my friends were drunk and decided to go to a bar. I realized that I had forgotten my earplugs, but I didn't think much of it (after all I was drunk). I didn't perceive the music in the bar as loud - but then again I was drunk. I woke up the next morning and noticed this sound in my right ear. It had a lower pitch than my original T and it was much clearer and louder.

      So that's it. Since June 2015 I've struggled really hard with my tinnitus, and I have only myself to blame for that. These two sounds that I constantly hear are a living hell sometimes. I try to cope with it, and from time to time it is really hard. It has caused me to be a little bit depressed, but it's not really something that I show to those around me. I still try to enjoy life, but sometimes I just kind of panic.

      I do admit that it's easier now than it was 6 months ago. The first two months was really the worst. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think you'll eventually learn to live with it. I'm trying sometimes, and other times I just sit there and feel sorry for myself. I constantly have earplugs in my pockets and never leave home without them, you never know when you might need them.

      By the way y'all (and this might sound really ridiculous) - sometimes when I lie in my bed and try to sleep and feel overwhelmed by stress and anxiousness over my T, I think about this girl that I really like :) Might seem kind of weird but it actually helps sometimes. Try to find all these little things that just might make you feel a little bit better, if only for just a moment, and hold on to those!

      Really excited about this forum by the way, I really enjoy it.
      See you around!
      • Hug Hug x 1
    2. billie48

      billie48 Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      not sure

      Welcome to the forum. Like you I used some sort of mental imagery to help myself during the toughest time. I couldn't think about this girl or that girl like you. I am happily married to a wonderful wife. LOL. I did think about her and our sweet days of dating during courtship, and how much she is meant to me, and that I would have to be extra kind and loving to her during my toughest struggle. If T made me live like hell, I wanted to fight back to this T bully and would make sure my family, my wife in particular, would live like in Heaven. So I offered to massage her everyday. While being wasted in T sufferings, at least I felt I could still contribute positively in her life. She sensed my effort and was even more caring and loving in return. The result was love and harmony in our relationship, a ray of light in my life during those dark, dark days of tinnitus sufferings.
      • Like Like x 2
    3. AUTHOR

      Skvarre Member

      PiteƄ, Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      2009, worse 06/2015
      That's inspiring of you to say! Hope I could find the strength one day to have the power to fight it the way that you do, putting yourself aside and let those around you come first.

Share This Page

If you have ringing ears then you've come to the right place. We are a friendly tinnitus support board, dedicated to helping you discuss and understand what tinnitus treatments may work for you.