So I Guess This Is My Story!

Hey Guys!

Where can I start? My tinnitus started in eight grade when a girl literally screamed in my ear as a "prank" - turns out the prank wasn't that fun. Up 'til this day she has felt really bad about it and I've never given her a hard time for it, she knows that she was a jerk in high school. This girl is irrelevant, what is relevant though is my T. It started out as a very high pitch sound and frankly it wasn't that big of a deal. I didn't hear it a lot and the only time that I could hear it was pretty much when I was trying to sleep.

My tinnitus was never a major issue until 2015. First of all it became worse after I went to a concert in May, the high pitch sound became more clear. After that I started to wear ear plugs very frequently, and tried to protect my ears. However, one evening me and my friends were drunk and decided to go to a bar. I realized that I had forgotten my earplugs, but I didn't think much of it (after all I was drunk). I didn't perceive the music in the bar as loud - but then again I was drunk. I woke up the next morning and noticed this sound in my right ear. It had a lower pitch than my original T and it was much clearer and louder.

So that's it. Since June 2015 I've struggled really hard with my tinnitus, and I have only myself to blame for that. These two sounds that I constantly hear are a living hell sometimes. I try to cope with it, and from time to time it is really hard. It has caused me to be a little bit depressed, but it's not really something that I show to those around me. I still try to enjoy life, but sometimes I just kind of panic.

I do admit that it's easier now than it was 6 months ago. The first two months was really the worst. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think you'll eventually learn to live with it. I'm trying sometimes, and other times I just sit there and feel sorry for myself. I constantly have earplugs in my pockets and never leave home without them, you never know when you might need them.

By the way y'all (and this might sound really ridiculous) - sometimes when I lie in my bed and try to sleep and feel overwhelmed by stress and anxiousness over my T, I think about this girl that I really like Might seem kind of weird but it actually helps sometimes. Try to find all these little things that just might make you feel a little bit better, if only for just a moment, and hold on to those!

Really excited about this forum by the way, I really enjoy it.
See you around!

 

Welcome to the forum. Like you I used some sort of mental imagery to help myself during the toughest time. I couldn't think about this girl or that girl like you. I am happily married to a wonderful wife. LOL. I did think about her and our sweet days of dating during courtship, and how much she is meant to me, and that I would have to be extra kind and loving to her during my toughest struggle. If T made me live like hell, I wanted to fight back to this T bully and would make sure my family, my wife in particular, would live like in Heaven. So I offered to massage her everyday. While being wasted in T sufferings, at least I felt I could still contribute positively in her life. She sensed my effort and was even more caring and loving in return. The result was love and harmony in our relationship, a ray of light in my life during those dark, dark days of tinnitus sufferings.

 

That's inspiring of you to say! Hope I could find the strength one day to have the power to fight it the way that you do, putting yourself aside and let those around you come first.