Wellbutrin Set Tinnitus Off — Learning to Move Forward and Live My Life (as a Music Lover)

Hi all,

I was unsure whether it was a good idea to make an account, but decided finally to go ahead and give it a shot. I wanted some support and general advice, but (as I'm sure you're all aware) there is also a lot of negativity and despair on these forums, and reading all that has mostly lead to me feeling worse / hopeless. Additionally, I know I've made a lot of mistakes, and I'm sure some folks will tell me I'm to blame for being stupid - but one of my biggest mental struggles is dealing with the regret, and having self-forgiveness, so I feel like I might just be making all that worse. However, there do seem to be a lot of folks who are helpful and supportive as well, so I decided to give it a shot. The thread by @dnl has been very helpful to read, for one.

My (long) story:
I'm a bit over 30 years old, and have had chronic tinnitus since about March/April of 2019.

I'm not a musician, but I've been a regular concert goer since my early 20s and I've lived in NYC - which is not a quiet city. Music has always been very important to me and a source of great happiness. Of course, I listened to music on earbuds when younger, but was generally careful about volume, and mostly listened to music on speakers / over ear headphones later in life. I never had any hearing issues, and when I was in my mid/late 20s I started always wearing hearing protection to shows, even having custom musicians plugs made a few years ago. Never had ringing when wearing my plugs. There were definitely shows when I was younger and didn't use protection that had some ringing after, and I do recall sometimes having the faintest faintest tinnitus when I was in the absolute dead silent places or wearing earplugs, but nothing that really was noticeable.

One other occurrence happened, which is likely related as well. In ~May 2017 I was traveling in Scandinavia, and caught a bad cold. I got a decongestant, but it was the nasal spray kind which you can't overdo. Unfortunately, one morning we were taking a train ride, which descended a mountain, and I for some reason hadn't taken the decongestant. I had trouble equalizing, and potentially popped something in my right ear. I later had ear pain and the feeling of liquid in my ear, but my dad (physician) unfortunately said I didn't need to go to the doctor / the doctor wouldn't do anything. I wish I had had the strength to stand up for myself and my needs, and go regardless... but I'm sure many of you know how family dynamics can be. I'm also a known complainer, so there was a boy who cries wolf situation there a bit.
Regardless, when I later got home I went to an ENT who said I had a sinus infection, but didn't see anything wrong with my ear, and gave me antibiotics. Eventually it mostly got better, though long after that I often had weird pressure feelings in right ear and it got fatigued more easily. I'm sure some damage was done there, but no tinnitus yet.

I was always wary of medications in general, coming from a medical family where I was generally advised not to take medications unless absolutely necessary. Psychiatric medicine obviously also has a lot of stigma, but I know a lot of people that it has helped as well. After many years of therapy, and struggling with my work and motivation, I finally decided to give going to the psychiatrist a shot. I tried Adderall for a while, and it kind of worked, but gave me headaches and crashing feeling, and didn't help with my motivation / general mild depression.

I was then suggested Wellbutrin, which I was wary about due to side effects. Of course, I asked the doc/NP a lot of questions about side effects, and even did a lot of Googling about side effects of Wellbutrin before deciding to give it a shot. I figured if I had side effects, they would be temporary and I could get off the medication. Also generally heard that side effects might be bad while adjusting but will stabilize. Unfortunately, searching the internet for Wellbutrin and side effects doesn't really bring up all these stories of Wellbutrin and tinnitus - though obviously there are plenty when you search the two together.

So I gave it a shot, at 150mg. I had some minor side effects, but nothing too bad, and it was actually generally helpful. I felt energetic and motivated, aside some minor head pressure at times but which went away. Then, of course (as I'm sure many of you are familiar), after 2 months, I got put on a 300mg dose. The side effects were a lot more unpleasant then, with more pressure and mind racing etc, but I didn't specifically notice tinnitus then. Largely, this is because I pretty much only was ever in noisy places - my apartment gets street noise, I have a fan inside, and my office's HVAC system provides a decent amount of white noise as well. Due to the other side effects, we went down to 150mg again for a month, and that was when I started to notice the tinnitus - when having my ear against a pillow, or plugging up my ears, etc. I started googling and finding all these stories about Wellbutrin causing tinnitus, and getting very worried - at this point I'd been on 150mg for ~2 months, 300mg for 1 month, and 150mg for a few weeks again. I sent a message to the psych that I was worried about it, she said it was very rare and none of her other patients had had it but that it was possible. I had a hearing test done, which showed mostly normal hearing with some mild upper freq loss, but when my ears were plugged up for the test, the tinnitus was quite loud. After another call with the doctor, she said to stop it immediately, which I did...
But by then the damage was clearly done.

At this point, the tinnitus really was only noticeable in quiet rooms (which I was apparently rarely in). If a fan was blowing or a fridge was humming, I wouldn't notice it. I couldn't notice it outside either. It was mostly when I either had my ears blocked (by a pillow, or by earphones with nothing playing) that I heard it. It was lower pitched and much louder in my right ear, I suspect from the earlier damage. In my left ear it was much higher pitched, but fainter. When I was later on vacation and had some quiet rooms I was staying in, that's when it really bothered me, but a simple low volume white noise played from my phone blocked it out.

However, I still stressed about it a lot, especially from all that I read. And from the regret of what I had done.
I tried to continue my normal life though - I didn't change that many habits. I still went to shows (with protection) and listened to music at lower volumes. It never really got worse. I was starting to adjust a bit, mentally, after many months, but still had moments of despair.

Then, when I had a head cold and clogged sinuses, I went to a wedding (early Oct 2019)... and somehow forgot my earplugs which I keep on my keychain always (because I didn't have my keys on me). There was an amplified live band, which was too loud (and shitty speakers, as you would imagine), and there wasn't really anywhere else to go. In hindsight, I should've just left back to the hotel, or plugged my ears with tissues, or anything. I had one moment where I definitely felt a sharp spike in my left ear, and immediately was like "oh nooo".

Since then, it's felt like my left ear has slowly gotten worse. The high pitched sound that used to be faint, now can be heard over other sounds. It's still not crazy loud, but I can hear it in most scenarios, likely because of the pitch - inside a room with a fan, outside on a windy day, etc. It's a high pitched sounds, sometimes more of a hiss, sometimes a more pulsing high pitched frequency. Now it's the left ear that bothers me more than the right, because the right I only hear in real silence, and I was honestly adjusting to that pretty well. I feel like the left ear is also a bit more sound reactive too, and louder sounds can set it off a bit, or it sometimes increases in volume to compete with surrounding sounds (e.g. I hear a sound and it rings in response; maybe a bit of hyperacusis here).

Around the time of the wedding I was also seeing an ENT to check things out (and because I was having nosebleeds, which he fixed). He manually cleared out some earwax, and also suggested I get a nightguard because I grind my teeth, and some of the tinnitus might be TMJ related - so I'm doing that, and we'll see if that helps any. I got an MRI to check nothing structurally was wrong, which it wasn't. He now referred me to an audiologist who specializes in tinnitus (though I'm not sure if it's worth going to, but I guess I'll give it a shot).

I'm fortunate in that I don't really have problems sleeping with a fan or a bit of noise played from my phone though, so it could be worse. However, it's really stressful on the whole. I was working on trying to meditate to habituate to the sounds, but then I got reading these forums again and despaired a bit. It's still low enough that if I'm pretty mentally busy I don't notice it, though now that the left ear has spiked it's harder to ignore.

There are a number of things going through my head, and it's hard to sort it all out:
* The regret and reliving of all the individual mistakes I made (i.e., why did I not take that decongestant or see a doctor then, why did I try to take psychiatric medicine, why didn't I research better, why didn't I notice the T earlier and get off the medicine sooner, why did I forget my plugs to that wedding, why did I not just leave the wedding) and imagining if I had made the right decision.. and then trying to forgive myself, which is the hardest thing
* The fear of making it worse - I was adjusting pretty well I guess, and then I slipped up and made it worse. It's been less than a year, and now there's a chance that I could make it worse at any point in the rest of my life with a mistake.
* The feeling of being a broken person, that I broke myself and I'm not whole anymore.
* Trying to figure out how to keep enjoying life and what I'll have to give up out of these fears. Obviously there's conflicting advice - some people say avoid all low volume earphone listening, avoid all live music even with hearing protection, avoid loud places, etc... all these things basically would mean completely changing my life and hobbies and identity, but at the same time, I don't want to have tinnitus the way some people on these forums do. So then there's the mourning around losing that life.
* Trying not to despair and not focus on it too much, and trying to live a happy productive life. Bad things happen to all kinds of people. In the scheme of things, my situation isn't even that bad.. but it's tough. I'm not the most mentally tough person. I focus on the negatives a lot.

Not 100% sure what I'm looking for in creating this thread and joining these forums, but general support and advice would be good. Please don't tell me I'm dumb for the mistakes I've made, as I've beat myself up enough already. I want to look forward and not let this thing ruin my life, basically.

 

I’m upset this week for a number of reasons tbh, but mostly about how I let it get worse through stupidity. So, it happened in the first place and I didn’t know better - but then I wish I had come to a place like these forums and been a bit more paranoid about protecting my ears after the medication kicked off the tinnitus. No one really told me to be super careful, but I tried anyway (though now I wish I had read more - but I was also worried since reading horror stories sent me into depressive spirals). I was pretty good overall and habituating slowly, but I still went to shows (with protection) and listened to headphones at low volume - none of which seemed to make things worse, but in hindsight I should have been more careful. And then it was one slip up where I forgot my protection and was at a wedding, which I should have just left, regardless of being in another country etc.

So many mistakes - kicking myself and feeling kind of hopeless. It hasn’t been quite a year yet, though it’s getting close - but is there any hope? Regardless, I know forgiveness is important to move forward, but it’s difficult.

Going to give up a lot of things for the foreseeable future. Come up with some new hobbies like ceramics or something. I dunno.

I’m just so upset. I can’t go back in time and stop myself from taking medication. I vaguely knew about tinnitus before, which is why I had been wearing protection regularly for the past 5-6 years (though I wish I had started when I was 20, but no one tells you these things when you’re a kid).

The ENT (the second one who has been pretty compassionate, considerate and attentive, not the first one I saw after my sinus infection before I had tinnitus who was kind of a dick - and used microsuction for wax which was dumb) referred me to an AuD who does a lot of tinnitus work. Should I go see this guy? I made an appointment, but there are so many stories of warning on here that I’m not sure. So much conflicting advice.

For now my plan is - protect my hearing as I can. Stop listening to music in headphones. I wonder if listening to low volume audiobooks in my non sensitive ear will be harmful, but for now I’ll stop. Stop going to music events (sad). I assume low volume music through speakers is fine though? Maybe I’ll try the supplements people recommend. I don’t know. It still feels like hey, here was my life before I took the medication (which was supposed to help my mental health), and here’s life after. And I had to be one of the unlucky few hit by a side effect I had no idea about and had no idea could be permanent.

Someone tell me something good. My loved ones try to be as supportive as they can, but I still feel... broken.

 

I want to first of all tell you to BREATHE in and out, relax. Blame is something all of us do , it's natural and it's in our human nature. All of us have regrets and wishes to go back in a time machine to correct our issues. Things happen, life happens, it's normal.

I have severe tinnitus and horrible hearing because of my own mistakes, I blame no one at all for my situation. I, just like you was never educated on tinnitus and hearing loss and how sounds could impact our ears and impact our lives.

I could list so so so many issues that I'd wish never happened and how I wish I could have undone them. I was in your shoes my friend for a long time. It's hard, I understand your pain and how you feel. Your life has changed and you seek answers and comfort for your pain.

I am dealing with a new possible baseline that is louder than my old one. I had a sound trauma recently and my ears are screaming even louder.

I take it day by day with my life and with my tinnitus. I observe and try to just do what I can to help out with my tinnitus and just making life a little easier. My new possible baseline might stick around or it might fade out, I don't know what will happen. What I do know is that I will not dwell on it. What is done is done. Now, what I need to do is to help myself live a life and just live it a little easier with the loud/aggressive tinnitus I have.

I do not hold negativity inside me, it will only drain and consume me and it WILL NOT help me at all. I accept that life is how it is, the ears are damaged and I need to adjust my life and my ways to cope/manage/live and adapt to my situation.

I know that you want to blame yourself, for what has happened with your tinnitus, DON'T. It's unfortunate that you have tinnitus, it's unfortunate that all these good people on this site have tinnitus. It's a tough road and tinnitus changes our lives. Don't blame yourself, INSTEAD be proud of yourself for wanting to improve your life now that tinnitus has hit. Be proud of yourself for making an account and wanting to learn more to help yourself live a better life with your tinnitus.

To be quite honest with you, the way you feel right now is natural. When tinnitus comes into our lives, it can be quite a surprise and a shock. No one can actually believe that noise comes out our heads. I was beyond shocked and puzzled when I heard my first static noise/low hiss almost 32 years ago. I'd ask everyone if they are hearing that noise. I'd ask if the fridge was making that noise or the lamp. I was not happy at all and was very nervous as well.

I made good use of talking to people and getting lots of positive feedback to help me understand what is going on. I have always talked with people and tried to use a rational approach in my life. Tinnitus is no different at all, i'd ask questions and get feedback. I have always valued support and taking small baby steps of actions to help,adapt,cope,improve my situation.

You can get through this, it takes time and patience.

If you need support I am always here for all that need support

 

Hi @fishbone - really appreciate your words. Have seen your posts around the site and they’ve been very helpful. Your attitude is an inspiration.

I wish I’d first joined the site back in March when I first started experiencing issues, and educated myself a bit more, but I was afraid of inundating myself with negativity and despair (and possibly doing something rash). Better late than never though, and I’m glad voices like yours exist. Thank you again

 

It’s been quite bad in my left ear in the last week. I think after that wedding incident (with the painful note and not having my plugs), I probably made it worse in the following weeks from some loud events (with protection) and some long flights and headphone usage. I didn’t realize that those could make it worse, but now I do.

What are the odds that with being extra cautious it gets any better in that ear? If I can get it even closer to how it was before October I can get by. If not... damn

 

It’s interesting to search my old text messages
Found at least 3 instances from 2013-2017 where I forgot my earplugs to a loud event and complained about ringing in my ears

And I can think of a few shows from my early 20s too where that likely happened

I guess I did damage back then, and then my medication set it all off / elevated it?

 

I was at a weekend thing at a friend’s house which had little soundproofing - I wanted to sleep, but people were talking and music was playing in the other room

I used to (prior to medication ruining my life) just put earplugs in and experience silence and sleep, but this time I had the tough choice and put earplugs in, and dealt with full on tinnitus screeching. I managed to fall asleep a few hours though, even with that (though later in the night when it quieres down I took them out so I would t have to hear the ringing). I guess it’s good that I could manage to sleep a little with all that sound?

I still just miss how life was before I did this to myself with drugs though

 

@Shaz1 I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles with Wellbutrin induced tinnitus. I'm probably about 10 years older than you, but I think we have similar histories in terms of noise exposure (slight hearing loss in the upper ranges, etc.) Everyone is different, and this is just speculation, but I'd guess that Wellbutrin changes the way that the brain processes hearing loss, or the absence of a signal within a bandwidth. It's probably way more complicated than that, but that's sort of my working theory at this point. I've noticed that exercise and getting good sleep help a lot. Also, sleeping on my back with my neck supported helps too. It seems like you're about 9 months in. Things changed a lot for me over the course of the first year an a half. It took me about that long for me to forgive myself. It seems like that's something you're struggling with, so I encourage you to try to find it within yourself to try to be actively positive and healthy. My tinnitus changed a lot over the first year and a half. Yours may still yet improve.
As far as headphones go, I still use them occasionally at low volume to listen to podcasts and pink/violet noise. I don't recommend it, but it hasn't worsened my tinnitus. Some people say that headphones are very bad for your hearing at any volume. I recommend considering their opinion as well.
Things can get better. My outlook is that, if this is the beginning of the period where I have tinnitus for the rest of my life, I'll also make it the start of something positive in my life where I start improving myself in other ways (exercise/diet/etc.) @fishbone is an inspiring example along those lines.

 

@dnl - thank you - it really means a lot.
I had looked back at old messages I had, and going on Wellbutrin in the first place was something I was wary about, but I know I did research on side effects and gave it a shot. I did have a bad reaction to 300mg, and a few weeks in I was complaining about a lot of side effects, but not tinnitus specifically - and went back down to the lower dose (but not until I'd done a full month on the 300mg). It's not till a few weeks back into the 150mg that I truly started noticing the tinnitus, because I always slept with white noise / had street noise in my room.

So, really, though I do regret going on the medicine in the first place, I cannot blame myself. I just got unlucky. I know a lot of people on the same medicine who it has helped, and in general it's well tolerated - my brain chemistry and pre-existing hearing loss just made me unlucky. And the first 2 months on 150mg were actually very helpful to me! I did what I could when I finally noticed it and did some research, and got off it as soon as possible.

Your theory seems reasonable, especially since it's such a stimulating drug - I just felt like my whole body was abuzz with energy when I was on the higher dose.

I'll have to adjust now - after that wedding incident, I'm going to be more careful going forward. During those past 9 months, I didn't change my activity much, and still kept going to concerts with protection / listening to headphones at a low volume, but nothing got worse until the wedding - but it also didn't improve. I'm going to see how taking a break from these things impacts me for the next few months, and work on developing some new hobbies that don't involve music as much. Perhaps I'll start making art!

Glad to have someone here who had the same experience. There are apparently so many people who got tinnitus set off by 300mg!

 

I did research on Wellbutrin prior to taking it as well, and tinnitus never came up as a big side effect. I think you did everything you could do. There's nothing wrong with taking medicine for depression. It's pretty common. I have three friends who are taking or have taken Wellbutrin in the past, and haven't had issues. We were just the unlucky ones, I guess. I was only on 300mg for a day or two when my tinnitus started, and prior to that, had only been on 150mg Wellbutrin for 4 weeks. So, I don't think you could have done anything different in terms of getting off of it sooner or anything like that... I don't think that would have helped.
Stay positive. Posting about it here helped me sort out my thoughts and partition my anxiety a little. It would be great if you could keep everyone informed about your tinnitus every few months for a while, so others who get tinnitus from Wellbutrin can know what to expect. The more info the better! That was the most frustrating thing to me when I was looking for answers after the onset of my tinnitus... most people who get tinnitus only post a few times and you never get another update on how they're doing.
I'd be careful about going to concerts, even with ear protection. It might be fine, but it's pretty risky.

 

Thanks! Yeah, your thread with regular updates was very helpful to me after I started experiencing it and knew what to search for! The information isn't easy to find, searching Wellbutrin + side effects and reading reddit threads about Wellbutrin experiences and side effects never turns up tinnitus unless you specifically search the terms.

Question for you @dnl - did you have any experiences that made it worse since the onset? It sounds like it generally stayed the same for you once it came on, and changed slightly over time, but not that any specific experiences made it change.

And yes, now I know to be more careful about concerts / the risk involved... in hindsight, I shouldn't have been so risky, and if I knew the possibility of making it worse I would have taken that loud wedding way more seriously and left to buy earplugs. Now I know.

 

During the first year or so I had spikes that lasted a about 1 or 2 weeks at a time, but they mostly centered around having a cold or some other type of respiratory illness. Right now, my tinnitus feels a little louder than it's been in a while, but it's nowhere near as loud as it was at the onset. I've only had two events where I was exposed to loud noises without protection, but they didn't last long, and I don't think they caused spikes... just panic.

 

Self improvement can come in a variety of ways. The first component and the most important one is to have that attitude that you will take those baby step and try to improve your situation just a little bit. This can be tinnitus or not tinnitus related. Improvements can come in small steps as well. It's not always needed, to see a HUGE improvement right away. Taking those small steps and seeing any small improvement in our lives is great. If we use to sleep 4 hours and now we sleep 5 hours that is improvement. If we could sit a restaurant for an extra 15 minutes and not let our tinnitus bother us, that is an improvement. Improvement can show up if we take small baby steps on a daily basis. In my opinion we should take those small baby steps daily and try to find ways to make our lives, a little easier while living with the tinnitus.

In my early years I was buying all the supplements out there in hopes of getting rid of the ringing. I tried so many different ones and my ringing was not reduced and it did not go away. It was a harsh reality for me and I had to switch gears a little. I started talking it out more and more with people that cared for me. I'd have more conversations with my audiologists. I knew that my ringing would not go away, so I had to come up with ways that would help me live with the ringing.

These early years I had a low/hiss, very mild barely noticeable tinnitus. My attitude back then was not as positive about it as it is now. Now it's beyond severe and the hearing is bad and I don't give any emotions to the tinnitus. My early years were a foundation in how I deal with the tinnitus these days.

As we live with our tinnitus, we start to fully understand it better and we mature with it. We can learn about it and try ways to deal with it. It's an on-going daily ordeal. We always learn more and more about our tinnitus and ourselves. I have been to so so so many ENTs, audiologists, acupuncturists, holistic practitioners. You name it, I have tried and done it.

Even with hell screaming out my head, I still try to remain positive. It's a habit for me , it will always be an on-going thing.

 

I went snowboarding yesterday
One of my favorite things about snowboarding was just how quiet it was on the mountain after a heavy snowfall when the winds were low

But now I don’t have that anymore, and boy that sucks

 

I’ll be honest, still wishing I could undo many things
The incident with the barotrauma involved many mistakes, but that happened quickly
The decision to try antidepressants - I looked at old messages, I was so wary and scared about it in the first place, but I gave it a shot. It’s easy to want to blame the people who encouraged me to try, but they only wanted to help me - and they do help people. I still regret that the most though. To date, the biggest mistake of my life. But a lot of that was bad luck too

 

Now that holidays are past and life is getting busier again I’m more distracted from it and trying my best to move on and be positive, but I still catch myself dwelling on the negativity. I looked back on old photos from “before” and thought of the happiness. Also the mistakes and regrets. Talked to my therapist about all those feelings too. Hopefully that’ll help move forward.

Therapy had always been helpful to me. Still annoyed that I didn’t just stick to therapy alone after 5 years and dared to try medication I was wary of.

Also reading other people’s stories makes me upset I didn’t seek out similar advice earlier on when I first got T, and could have used more caution over these last 9 months and maybe seen improvements instead of worsening.

I see events pop up that just a year ago I would have jumped at attending and now I’m too scared to or know I shouldn’t.

Eh.

We’ll give it time.

 

I didn’t find out about ototoxicity until a year after my tinnitus began and then it took another year to wean off all my meds and then took even more trial and error to figure out that even a single 200 mg ibuprofen causes me permanent damage and that I am much more at risk to noise induced damage.
Lots of regret on my part too.

 

@Shaz1 thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling and know where you've been. I've had tinnitus for 12 years. It was originally from one incidence of noise exposure from loud equipment; it took me a long time to forgive myself but that's very important to do. While it was a VERY rocky time for me the first year or two, I got to the point where it was mostly a non-issue to my quality of life and something I might not notice for a day or more unless I decided to listen for it. Your snowboarding story touches me because I do understand the sadness of missing 'silence'. But I am sincere when I say that living with tinnitus can and will get better with time, even though it seems hard to believe at first. I tried 'all the things' - supplements, magnets, clinical study medications, antidepressents, etc. and in retrospect the two most useful tools were 1) just getting out into the world to engage with things I enjoyed that would reduce my focus on it and 2) sound therapies/masking. Unfortunately I'm on this forum again due to newer louder tinnitus from (it seems) a recent short stint with 300 mg Bupropion - and trying to learn more about others' experience with that. I'll admit I'm demoralized and a bit scared by having to start over with the habituation process if this new tinnitus level/sound from Bupropion decides to be permanent, but I also know that I have - that we can all have - the strength to get through it and thrive. @fishbone thank you for your inspiration to remain positive. I'm about take my dog for a walk and enjoy the newly fall brisk air in Houston and that will be nice. Hugs to all.