What keeps you going?

i'm in a really bad place in life. i'm 24 years old and i was planning on starting college this January for the winter semester. in August i noticed that when i used my voice my left ear would begin to spasm. every time i spoke i would hear a "woooooosh" followed by one or two thumps in my left ear.

i went to the doctor in mid September and he diagnosed me with an ear infection with some TMJ inflammation. he prescribed me amoxicillin (antibiotic) and meloxicam (NSAID.) i took the full round of amoxicillin over 10 days, and took the meloxicam twice a day for two weeks. over this time i started becoming very sensitive to sound. my eustachian tubes started clicking when i spoke, and the spasms got worse and worse. on October 12th i saw an ENT. he couldn't find anything wrong.

over the next few weeks i became extremely sensitive to sound. the very quiet ringing i had in my ears for a very long time was getting louder. i finally saw an audiologist for a hearing test and was diagnosed with hyperacusis and tinnitus. i saw a very good neurotologist who was able to confirm that the spasm in my ear was being caused by my tensor tympani muscle.

in December i finally ditched hearing protection. while i'm still sensitive to every day sounds, it's not so bad that i need to wear ear muffs all the time. my tinnitus has increased significantly since October. the hyperacusis goes up and down. the spasm in my ear is now painful and makes it physically hurt to talk.

i had big plans before this. things weren't perfect, but my life was far from bad. things haven't improved, and if anything are slowly getting worse. my tinnitus is loud, shrill, grating, and very intrusive. certain tones in my left ear correspond heavily with dizziness and nausea. i feel like i'm in a constant mental fog. my ears feel like severed nerve endings with electricity shooting out of them. i can't work, i can't socialize, i can't listen to the music i once lived for.

it's very difficult for me to find the will to live at the moment. my thoughts are often plagued with suicidal ideation. the one comfort i have is the fact that one day i won't have to deal with this anymore. the loneliness is the worst part.

 

Echoes, you are definitely not alone. We understand perfectly what you are going through because many of us were there too.

But... oh my. "when i used my voice my left ear would begin to spasm. every time i spoke i would hear a "woooooosh" followed by one or two thumps in my left ear". This is exactly the same thing I have and I had a hard time to convince any doctor it is a legitimate symptom. I say something and once I finish there's a loud "whoooooosh" in my right ear. In my case it comes and goes though. It always happens after I yawn or stretch my neck. Does it happen to you when you yawn perhaps?

My theory (partially confirmed, somewhat) it's a blood vessel that becomes blocked once certain muscles are activated (during speech or yawning) once I let go, the bloodflow is again unlocked and this is when it makes a "whoosh" sound.

EDIT: one more thing, have you ever tried using betahistine?

 

my neurotologist told me it was my tensor tympani muscle overreacting to sound. it reacts to external sounds, but not at all in the extreme way it does to internal ones (talking, chewing on crunchy foods, etc.) it does not happen when i yawn or stretch my neck.

i have a bottle of betahistine 16mg tablets that i was prescribed a while back. i took one of them and it didn't do anything, so i haven't continued to take it. i still have them though.

 

Well I wish I had some advice I could share but my occasional whooshing is completely out of control so...

But, regarding betahistine - you may want to give it a go. You need to know it starts working after 3-4 weeks since the first dose. A single pill certainly won't do anything. I've been taking betahistine for 4 months now and it is one of possible things that has helped me. I am not saying it is a miraclous drug, but since you have it anyway... It has a good safety profile with very mild side effects (upset stomach).

Prolonged betahistine use (3 months+) has 34% effectiveness rate in treating tinnitus. Not very impressive but we don't have many treatments to choose from... (yet )

 

Hello echoes.

I can relate to you in two ways. The first being that I've had plans that I've postponed because of my tinnitus. I haven't yet decided whether I should change plans/find new goals in my life or I should just keep following my dream. But for now I'll just say I've postponed my plans.

The second being my tinnitus acting weird when I hum. If I hum a song I'll hear this extremely annoying tone in my left ear. It's weird because it's always been my right ear that has been my bad ear. I also hear many different sounds when I yawn, chew, open my mouth, and for some reason, every morning before I've eaten/drunk something.

I hope and think you'll get better from here. Despite some symptoms getting worse you're doing a bit better since you don't need the hearing protection all the time now. That's great!

What were you planning on studying?