What This Forum Did For Me

Hello everyone.

I am Vince
And I would love to tell you about my current situation.

Let's start with a little story.
6 months ago. I suddently got T. I did nothing out of pattern other than maybe stressing myself, due to expectations and such in my daily life. I want to do this, I want to do that. In every break I am either reading mildly interesting things or watching funny pictures on my phone. From early breaks before work, till bedtime. I guess, I got it due to stress and that it is my body's natural way of warning me.

The first week was the worst. I did what everyone else does and looked online. Rookie mistake number one, am i right guys? The first impression of T is the worst and it adds to the intensity of the sound at that moment. So like everyone else, i started worrying about going deaf, and my mood of course got worse. Naturally. That is OKAY. We all go through it. And we all are alright.

I remember it was a thursday when i decided to google for "Tinnitus Success Stories". And here I was. Reading the same top threads that are still on the frontpage here to this day.
EVERYTHING changes. Once I read that other people were going through the EXACT same thoughts and feelings, I felt calm. Relaxed, as if my logic would tell me that I would survive it. And just knowing you will be alright is a big step up from the anxiety you experience on your first week.

I promised myself to create a thread if I got better. I got better months ago, sorry for first writing now.

I will now tell you what I think would be interesting for you to know. Like a reference for you to have.

I have had T since September 2015, 6 months in.

Less than 2 % of the days I experience bothersome T, the kinds that I adventurously listen to, to challenge and then it gets abit louder and I regret it. Goes directly back to normal.
Sometimes(but rarely) I use a tip from this forum. When I want to control it abit better, I ask myself: "So Vince, how do you feel about this sound suddenly intensifying right now?"
And I answer honestly to myself: "Well, I feel a little annoyed right now. I am waiting for it to go away. I am trying to control it." This truly worked for me. I don't remember how much, but nowadays I don't need this trick anymore.

There is two types of stress. There is the normal one that you know and notice. And then there is the one where you don't realize that you are under stress(but you are doing/trying too many things at once).
Less than 5-8 % of the days when i don't notice how stressed I am, for a split second, the sound intensifies, and then calms down again immediately. This is why I believe my T comes from small but constant stress. This experience of T does not last longer than a few seconds, but worth mentioning.

90-95 % of the days I experience self-induced T. That usually happens when I notice something is missing, and stupidly enough I look for the T, or I realize its the T that is missing and then you spent the next few seconds trying to NOT hear it, untill you hear it. Hahaha. It doesn't bother you. It's just funny. Like oh, well, there it is again. Next thing you know, you are already thinking of something else more interesting and either its gone. Or maybe its there - you wouldn't notice - at all. This sound is very low.

5-10 % of the days I totally forget about the existence of something like T. I notice nothing, and I might have no T at all.
Fun thing about this. You won't notice it happening, because you are not aware of it in the first place.

I want to add a few philosophies. The T does NOT in any shape or form, prevent me from experiencing anything good in life. Nothing whatsoever. Most nights I am a little worried if it will keep me awake, but to this day it never has. Not even once. I guess I am just a careful person. When I go to bed I just fall asleep with the sound in my ears. It won't change anything.

It is like everyone tells you. Befriend it. I actually started naming mine Tinkerbell, and I imagine it's a lost fairy that chose to stick with me for the rest of my life. And I welcome it. I ask her whats up, and she doesn't say much. She knows she's welcome, she knows I'm not mad at her, and mostly she makes no sound. She just wants to tag along.

On a more serious note, it's a great alarm for you to have. You trade deep silence for knowing when you are mildly stressed. Something you would not have noticed otherwise.

I am not sure if it goes away or if there will be a cure, at this point I stopped caring, it doesn't prevent anything and it's just an annoying addition to life that we did not choose.

So as a conclusion:
I created this thread because I was so thankful for the stories i read here on my first week. It was the turning point when I started to calm down. I still remember the huge difference from one moment till an hour after I found this website. When you calm, you control it. However bad it seems, it will get much much better.
Please don't be mad at the idea of it not going away. I read on this forum once: It doesn't get better, YOU get better.

Truth is, it does get better too, but take it as an added bonus. If mine ever goes away, I think I might miss it.


Take care, and much love,
Vince.

 

would love another update..

 

I too would be interested in an update as well but I think after some post their "Success Story" they move ahead with their lives and may discontinue their visits here at TT. They have gained valuable knowledge here, learned various coping mechanisms and whatever else may be needed and most important, derived much emotional support and encouragement. I feel these stories are essential for they illustrate that habituation is possible and that countless people have gone on to lead productive, happy and fulfilling lives. Take care.

 

I hope I become one of those people. Keeping my fingers crossed

 

Hi again @dpdx - I have a feeling you are stronger than you think and you appear to be a hopeful person.
Here's wishing you success and keep on reading those Success Stories for they are factual and really very inspiring.
Please keep us posted. Take care and be well.

Sincerely,
Barbara