Why Do We Hate Our Tinnitus So Much?

I took absolutely no offense whatsoever, @Blair14. We are on the same page here.

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

@ Dr Nagler, Is it possible to chat, perhaps you can walk me thru this.

 

I have a cousin with a loud grandfather clock in her home. It chimes once every fifteen minutes. And on the hour, there's a little melody before the chiming, with one chime for every hour. I love my cousin - but I hate visiting her home because of the damned clock. Think of it is ... she doesn't hear the clock. Her hearing is fine ... but the sound of the clock does not register with her consciousness.

Same thing. The sound of my tinnitus does not register with my consciousness.

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

Sure. Glad to do it.

PM me with some times that will work for you over the next few days - and we can set something up.

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

@Dr. Nagler

You indicated that you sleep and read in silence. I am not clear about the recommendation of living in a "noise rich" environment with T. Is this environment only needed when in the process of trying to habituate to T but not necessary when habituated to T?

 

You have it exactly right.

Now some folks prefer to have sound around them even after they have habituated, which is just fine.

I do not.

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

I hated my T when I first got it. Now, I don't notice it, unless I'm on this board or another tinnitus board, or if I listen to it. Love it? Nah. Can't love what you don't notice most of the time.

I sleep in complete silence. Some may find this hard to believe, but often I will listen to it in silence when I am in bed for the night, and be aware of it, but my mind simply drifts off to other things.

If you can, just let go of it. Focus on the positive in your life. Think about that 15 minute spell that you didn't notice it, and try and make it 20 tomorrow.

Good luck.

 

I disagree, I got T 24 years ago,
I got used to having the noise after some months or years where I got to the point where I could live a relatively normal life.
It is true that I learned to accept life with this noise in my head, admittedly my T was for the most part a background noise, quiet enough to not really be heard during the day but I never got to a point where I was "just over it" it was always there and I knew it, true, I did have allot of moments, (mostly during the day) when I was not aware of the noise because I had my mind on other things, but to say I just didn't care would be a lie, there wasn't a day that I didn't wish it would disappear.

To imply that they are not on this support forum because they "just don't care" is probably a little dishonest!

Right now, there are nearly 200 guests reading these forums and only 30 odd actual members online so I think there reasons for not being on this forum, or forums like this, are probably a bit more and varied than "just not caring".

Rich

 

@RichL -

People who don't care about their tinnitus have no reason to seek out a tinnitus support forum - save for a few like me who care about those who do care about their tinnitus.

The best tinnitus support site on the web is:

www.IveDoneGreatWithMyTinnitusAndHereIsHowIDidIt.com

But that site doesn't exist ... because the very last thing in the world folks who have done great with their tinnitus want to do is talk about tinnitus!

That's how I see it, anyway.

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

Why wouldn't they talk about it? If they are truly over it, then it shouldn't worry them talking about it, would it?

Honestly, I would really love to meet these people who really, honestly don't care ,(all the time), about there Tinnitus!

I know several people with T who first up say It's never bothered them, but when I've pushed, they have admitted that yes, it does get bothersome to them sometimes, mostly at night and especially when they are having trouble sleeping but on the whole it doesn't bother them most of the time.

Rich

 

Right. I'm sure you would. But what makes you think that they want to meet you??!!

The guy who finally at long last claws his way to safety from the depths of a rattlesnake pit is just not gonna want to hang out at the reptile exhibit of the local zoo.

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

Dear Dr. Stephen Nagler

As a Dr who experiences T would you agree with my own GP who said ....''you simply stop hearing it''

My own Dr has T as well - when she told me this I didn't know what she meant at first, but then I suddenly started to realize what she meant because as the months and years pass by I notice it less and less, that is I'm not always aware of it, and sometimes I forget I've even got it at all.

I also think volume has a lot to do with how we feel about it. For me I would say I have pretty mild T compared to some people, but then mine does go louder at certain times usually when I am unwell from a cold or something.

When the noise is loud I get very irritable, but then it never stays loud for too long, it usually settles down.
When it is low I get all excited to the point where I want to do cartwheels - it's almost as if my T is feeling empathy for me so it tries to cut me some slack, it gives me a little break which is always welcome.

To have relentlessly loud T without any quiet break must be diabolical and I can't even imagine how difficult that must be for some one to endure.

 

In all honesty, I think that depends on one's starting point. With most folks who have truly suffered from severe intrusive tinnitus, there really isn't any "simply" about it. At least there isn't for me.

Given a choice, everybody with loud tinnitus would rather it be less loud. So in that sense I agree with you.

But once you have habituated, how loud your tinnitus is on any given day is largely irrelevant.

I have relentless loud tinnitus without a quiet break, and there's nothing diabolical about the way things are for me. That wasn't always the case, but it is now. Perhaps that's because even though my tinnitus is relentless and loud, I am unaware of it most of the time. So in that sense I have a lot of quiet!

Dr. Stephen Nagler

 

Thanks for your reply Dr. much appreciated your candid honesty.

It helps to understand the condition more when we are able to discuss it with others who are going through same.

Therefore I am in gratitude for this forum.

 

But what if you learn to accept your T unconditionally, isn't that a kind of loving it, after all it is a part of us, and we must love ourself or we are doomed. Maybe love is the wrong word to use with T ?

I totally agree with this myself. I used to mask mine at night but then could still hear it even more so I thought to hell with this, now I sleep in the silence. I'm lucky because sleep comes easy to me, I love sleeping so much.

That's how I see it too, I think well I've has it 3 years now and I'm still living much the same as I've always done, so just need to keep reminding myself if I've made it this far so far then I'll keep going fine.

 

Hi Nobody ,I see your in the next county to me ,hello neighbour .
Would you say air pressure affects your T ,I do ,I find if weathers damp ,it's puts more pressure on my ears ,like fullness.It affects my allergies to .As were in same neck of the woods ,wondered if you noticed it .
I sleep in silence ,noise would keep me awake ,but during the day I prefer some background noise ,like radio ,or TV.
I've had T for ages and I don't believe I will ever get use to it,if so I'd not be on TT .
Only time I can ignore it is if it's what I call middle noise ,like that one the best ,if you had to like this T ,don't have good day when high ,high ,but the pits is when low ,never a good day period ,as no way can I raise it to where I'm comfortable ,maybe allergies doing this low T ,maybe Dr Nagler could throw some light on this situation if still on site ,do allergies have a part to play in T .

 

Hello Marlene.
Nice part of the world you live. My brother has lived in Poole all his married life of 30 years, I am a regular visitor to Poole.

I tend to agree with what you say about air pressure, I think air pressure and weather does play a big part in how we feel generally.It must affect our ears because we know that air pressure on a plane can make our ears feel weird.
Our bodies are more fragile that we imagine, although usually mighty strong, the flip side is that they are sometimes very sensitive.The weather I'm sure must affect our bodies ailments especially people with joint problems like arthritis, or nerve damaged peripheral neuropathy, allergies, and even tinnitus. I'm not a doctor but these weather affecting problems are experiential to the sufferer.

Ideally it would benefit to live in warm sunny climes, but here in damp cold rainy old England we kind of lose out there.

 

Hi Nobody ,Karen on site lives in Atlanta where it's hot ,but says like me air pressure affects hers . Weird hey ,I get arthritis in my knees ,put that down to age ,but the damp doesn't help .
Today my ears are high ,damp today ,low all day yesterday ,sunny here it was ,pits all day couldn't wait to go to bed ,long old day with it .
With the sinus headaches I take Migraleve where it's so painful .weather again .so it's a right old juggling act I get daily with T and allergies going on .
Just glad I no longer need to work ,how those who have to ,don't know how they cope .
I'm living by the lake ,across the bridge,I'm local to Poole ,married a Marine .Where in Poole does your brother live ,I love being back home took almost 30 yrs to get back here but here now ,yes it's lovely place .
Despite our weather ,still say UK the best ,and I love winter here .

 

Perhaps "acceptance." There are things about me I wish I could change - sometimes I'm impatient, etc. There are things about me I don't love, and I do try to change to be a better person, but I have also accepted who I am.

Best,
PEF

 

The original question that originated this thread was "Why do we hate our tinnitus so much".

My answer....because it totally SUCKS!!! I've been through a lot of really gnarly stuff in my life, really gnarly, but nothing comes even close to how T has affected my life!! Nothing. I HATE T!!!

That been said, I am happy to report I have, for the most part habituated and am finally once again living a productive life with joy and purpose DESPITE my ever present T !!

(It still sucks though, just saying )

 

Yes, this is just the kind of attitude I like. It is ok to hate our T but it doesn't have to blight our entire life. We can still function in the world as before, it's just that we now have this annoying little critter along for the ride, you want to flick it off but realise it ain't gonna budge no inch no how!!


Oh well, might as well have a frigging T party...LOL