Juliane

Juliane

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  • gameover
    @Juliane. Hope you are still holding on.
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    Juliane
    @gameover So so sorry. How are you handling work? Can you go on sick leave? Thinking of you. Hugs
    gameover
    Not too well for the past two weeks. Took some days off. I was doing okay before, but the couple "traumas", especially the last audiogram fucked me. The brain is disintegrating. This is not tinnitus, it is a form of a brain cancer.
    Yellowblue44
    Hey @gameover I've read that face massages really helped you. Can you send me a link or you tube video that you use please. Thanks
    Juliane
    4/4 friends to pity me. But they should be empathetic. I understand if they get confused by this. I hate it so much.
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    L along the way
    I've gotten interested in mindfulness.. but the thing with this is.. if there is actual harm to the physical auditory nerves, like... how to find ease & stillness with this condition. The inspiration i've found for natural wellbeing.. feels so disturbed by this one.
    L along the way
    Also, if it were just 'annoying sound'.. but it's painful too, something has been truly harmed.. and it may be safe to say, it has a negative effect on our cognitive & emotional wellbeing states. I notice that i get a lot of thoughts around t.. and i feel like.. if i try to stop, and be with the actual experience & sensations, it's just painful and distressing, and i feel the want to escape that.
    L along the way
    That's why i maybe always crave for a better tomorrow, because the actual experience with this.. i find it hard to just be and settle within.. because it's just so discomfortable and it feels like it's disturbing more than it just is an 'annoying sound'. I guess.. i say again.. a better day.. i don't really know another way. Wishing it to get well and that we be okay.. pppffffttttt stay strong guys..
    Juliane
    3/4 becomes a burden socially. I don't want to be labelled "the sad one". Fuck that! But I am indeed the sad one. But I don't want my
    Juliane
    2/4 Then people say "Great to see you are better!" But it's a Lie. I'm not. Then I feel bad for being a fake. The thing is: being miserable
    Juliane
    1/4 Sometimes I get embarrassed by all my suffering. It's so miserable. Then I act as if things are better than they are. Out of pride
    Juliane
    The media running their stupid fear mongering campaign about war etc. So what if nuclear disaster strikes. I don't care !
    Juliane
    No, adversity does not make you stronger. It breaks you. That's the only thing it does.
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    beefling
    I like to think of the sentiment as muscle building. You workout to fatigue, then rest your muscles to get stronger. But you *need* to rest. Tinnitus and its adjacent auditory related conditions do not relent. There is no rest period.
    L along the way
    Well, if I ever heal from this, then I guess I can say I've learned a lot and became stronger. That's only if it heals though. If not, then I'd rather never had to go through all this. There has to be a better day awaiting us.
    Pinhead
    Medical fact: stress makes you die sooner. Tinnitus causes catastrophic amounts of indominable stress. Therefore...
    Juliane
    Has anyone had any good experience with hearing aids? Or are they all crap?
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    BlueMoon86
    I tried two hearing aids, neither worked for me. I have the rare reverse slope which is the 1% of hearing loss, while they are made for the 99% high frequency loss. If you have high frequency loss and tinnitus they could help.
    Juliane
    Thanks all! As I have reactive T, I guess this is out of the question for me.
    4Grace
    @Juliane - if you truly have bad reactive T please continue to be careful. Don't mean to scare you. I wish I listened but I think mentally I just could not endure.
    Juliane
    If dementia means not really knowing what's going on, forgetting about T, not noticing etc. It might not be the worst fate.
    RunningMan
    With dementia, maybe T will seem like a fresh new horrible experience every day.
    crescentsky
    I read that having T increases probability of having dementia. If that is the case, I wouldn't mind it. Maybe we can go faster than waiting thousand decades with T.
    SamRosemary
    Dementia would possibly just make you unable to word your issue properly. You still experience pain, fear, sadness, etc.
    Juliane
    Scared all the time, sad all the time, heartbroken....Do you think dementia would be a relief for us suffering from T and H?
    ECP
    It might offer some relief from anxiety and from the existential burden of being responsible for our own happiness and our own careers. But sadly, if we get dementia, it would shift the burden of our problems onto our loved ones. :(
    RunningMan
    I think tinnitus just makes other things even more difficult to deal with.
    Juliane
    So is the only way to resolve your karma debt to live through this hell? Is there any escape?
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    4Grace
    @Juliane - karma yes. I was not a very religious person before this. Sometimes we may suffer due to fact that we live in a fallen world. Suffering can be a result of sin. I was prideful and lived for things of the flesh. Now this may sound insane on here. Like Nox you can't know until you know. I have had things happen to me that you would not believe. Not for everyone but for me this was 100 percent God.
    4Grace
    @Juliane - when I say this was God I mean I did this to myself. I have been thinking of every moment that I did not live in accordance to Gods commandments. Take this as you will. I am as sure as day. 100 percent. I had a hard time changing my ways. I did not realize what I was doing.
    Juliane
    @4Grace Thanks for sharing that. But I guess many of us live as sinners according to some religions. I know people who I think have sinned a lot more than me but they don't have tinnitus. I have given up looking for justice. I don't understand the world or God's plan.
    Juliane
    When I do exercise, everyone tells me I look good, my skin glows etc. But my T spikes! Such utter hell
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    4Grace
    I don't think Sarahml coming on here same time as me was a coincidence. I had a million things happen to be that cannot be chalked up to coincidence.
    Juliane
    @4Grace I am curious as to why you don't think it was a coincidence that you and Sarah came to TT at the same time?
    Juliane
    I by the way feel the same way with many events in my life in recent years. They somehow would have led me here no matter what I did
    Juliane
    I feel my tinnitus is related to an energy crisis of body and mind. I could be wrong. Perhaps it's just pure evil
    Juliane
    I need help
    4Grace
    I understand this statement so much. Truly feel this statement deep down. Are you in flight or fight during the day ? Experiencing anxiety ? Wondering if it's getting worse due to stress. Love you. I wish we could do more to help each other.
    Juliane
    This is really really bad. My head buzzes with horrible sounds
    L along the way
    Sorry to read, i symphatize. When do we get a break from this stuff? It's been harsh beyond words.. How is this endurable i ask myself? The only thing which kinda helps me right now is to give it time. For sleep i've been using meds, which have been helpful. Daily life.. work.. going for walks, distract myself with gaming. Praying for time to make things better
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