dipp

dipp

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Member From Spain
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  • dipp
    (2/2) Right now, I continue not because of me, but for my wife and my family. I don't know what can I do to get a little better. I truly want to live of course, but right now it's hard to see the point in any of this. I just go through days and weeks the best that I can, but it's hard when you are being tortured all day 24/7. If I surrender someday, at least I know that I tried as hard as I could.
    2049v
    Hey my friend, I'm really sorry to read what you're going through. I noticed you joined the forum back in February 2017. Has it really been bad all this time? Didn't you have any better or more tolerable periods — times when things felt a bit lighter or closer to baseline? It's been over 8 years now. I've had very severe tinnitus too, for more than a year. I went through suicidal-level days, but also some okay ones. Not many, but still not every day was terrible. I just wonder if you had any of those moments too.
    dipp
    (1/2) Yesterday I should have had a good day. Easy work in the morning, and later I went with my wife to get a coffee and some doughnuts. Then we cooked some dinner and watched a episode of one of my favorite series, The flight of the Conchords. Anyway, I was feeling terrible and so depressed, because of loud T and hearing loss. I hardly enjoyed any of that. I was being tortured. If I can't enjoy some of this things, then I don't see the point in continuing living.
    dipp
    Had a mental breakdown while talking with my parents on the phone.
    H
    Hey we never talked but I've read alot of your posts. You've always managed to get through it the past and I feel like you'll do the same now. We're all hoping the best for you.
    dipp
    @hey Thanks for your kind words, that meant a lot to me. I tell that to myself, but my situation is always getting worse. T related and HL related. I'm struggling to get through every single day. Maybe I can overcome this, but not very hopeful this time.
    dipp
    Talking with people makes my new ultra high pitched electric sound go wild. I can stand in silence without much problem, read a book and so on. A little chat or something on TV, and it worsens a lot a it´s highly noticeable. I don´t know how to handle this. It seems like the end.
    dipp
    I know it doesn't makes any sense but this thing appears to force me to the end of me on purpose. I want to live. I want to win. But man...
    dipp
    Why when I adapted to my multiple tones, hissings and hearing loss do I have to develop an ultra-high pitch electric sound?
    J
    Same. I habituated to the tones in both ears and then high pitch electric static blasted over it and fills my whole head now. Been almost a year since it got to this level. Non stop screeching in both ears. I'm sorry when I see others have the same. Hang on my friend. You're not alone.
    2049v
    @dipp how much hearing loss do you have?
    dipp
    I´m having also some episodes of fleeting T that are awful. What is wrong with me.
    dipp
    2 weeks of lower T(the very high pitched in the right mostly went away)and now is back in full force.Can handle lots of sounds.Not this one.
    BrOKeN_1
    Hopefully just a temporary spike. All Ive ever known is that super high pitch squeal. It's rough.
    dipp
    Then what about me? I have not a single minute free of T.Only more or less in the shower.When I go to bed I feel relieved that the day ended
    Pinhead
    Same. Every second. I can't eat, breathe, or think without it taking over.
    dipp
    I really don´t like reading that somebody´s T is bothering them when going to sleep. Did you have a T-free whole day and you complain??
    dipp
    Really screwed at the moment.Don´t know what to do anymore.Have been thinking about my T 24x7 in the last month.Not a single moment of peace
    dipp
    Don´t know if I can overcome this last worsening. I feel I have no more strength in me. Don´t know if this life is worth anymore.
    dipp
    I´m thinking about how good is that we humans only have 2 ears.Can´t imagine how awful would it be to have 4 or 6 ears and T in all of them.
    View previous comments…
    SarahMLFlemmer
    For real. ;]
    dipp
    @Mo8409 Actually it is a serious thought I have. Maybe I can imagine that I have 4 ears and have 2 of them with no T. But I´m glad that it made you laugh anyway :) Since my last worsening this thing makes me think weird things like this. I just want some peace.
    Mo8409
    @dipp I get it. We all do. Silence was nice while it lasted.
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