delta784

delta784

Member From Istanbul Turkey
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  • MrConall
    Hi Delta. How are you feeling today? Has the Clomipramine helped at all? How well are you managing your relationships? Hope I'm not too intrusive. These are all things I think about. Well wishes.
    tobyharrixon
    do you mean you don't wanna live like posting/checking on the forum all the time or do you mean giving up completely aka deleting yourself?
    delta784
    I've given up lol i don't wanna live like this. Wishing you all the best for your future. I will not be posting anything.
    View previous comments…
    H
    Don't give up brother, you will be fine overtime. We just need to hold into patience and faith that our condition will improve. Look at what you can still do as walking in the forests, hiking… You just to live a very quiet life. I have hyperacusis and palinacusis so I know how hard it is to live like this but just give it time…You will be better, do not give up on yourself. I read on reddit that someone found relief with his pain hypercausis with yokukansan from Japan. Before giving up on yourself try this médication it might help you
    L along the way
    @Scruffiey i mean, i would try to balance it out a bit. Just imagine, whilst having t, for example, also go through life in a wheelchair, or some other issue. It wouldn't be better at all. I hope and pray things can get better in time
    S
    @L along the way Understand the sentiment but uh, I don't think I'll need to worry about "going through life" with any additional issues is my point. Ain't rushing to the finish line, but when the time comes, I've made my peace with it, so I'm enjoying my last few years as best I can.
    Plus with 70dB tolerance before pain, honestly wouldn't make much difference to my life being in a chair anyway, I spend nearly all my time indoors now anyway!
    H
    Hey mate, did you have a relief with your loudness hyperacusis and auditory hallucinations with clonazepam ? I have palinacusis :(;
    delta784
    i don't have loudness h or auditory hallucinations i have pain h and tinnitus and visual snow bye
    delta784
    If i had no tinnitus i think i could deal with ear pain better. Its just easy tinnitus is relentless its in your brain non stop doesn't even give you time to relief.
    kingsfan
    Stable tinnitus that wouldn't worsen and no ear pain would be good enough for me. Trying to avoid pain and worsening is mental torture beyond just the horrible ringing and hissing.
    delta784
    i want to go back in time and not get these IV injections then i could be happy again this isn't me i know it :)
    delta784
    my right ear exploded since 3 -4 days after my sickness it was lowest since 14 months now right ear cuts everything 15 khz very loud it has to go away again. please :(
    kingsfan
    What kind of illness?
    delta784
    cold flu like illness its gone now and my tinnitus went up like crazy
    delta784
    If i don't believe this happened to me and i am constantly saying its not real am i lunatic? Or am i having hard time accepting this is my real life from now on
    tobyharrixon
    I completely understand you. I will turn 30 in January. Can't accept this is my life. I've found a method to end my life when I'm ready. Also dealing with chronic foot pain which makes even going for a walk and sleeping even harder. I get stressed and panicked every day but that just keeps increasing the T. So even though I'm angry and upset, even the luxury of crying or yelling in anger to release brings more suffering. I used to be able to calm myself. I just can't anymore. Sleeping is getting harder and harder. Ending it is so tempting, everyday is meaningless and I lost the strength to fight through it.

    Sorry I know none of this helps. Just saying I completely understand you. Maybe if you don't have any physical pain (except your ears as I understand?) then that's a positive..
    S
    Give it time. I had to give up so much. Years later, I am believe it or not, a better versio of myself. Injury changed my life - forever. And strangely, for the better. Yes, I would rather have healthy ears, but without the accident, I wouldn't be the person I am today. It made me realize how fragile we are.

    After years of therapy and working with myself and not giving up made me different, better man. Quite literally.

    Sooner you accept your new life, the better. Think it as an new beginning. New start.
    kingsfan
    @Strife_84 My empathy has gone through the roof since my tinnitus began, but my patience is now nearly nonexistent. My previous self was an incredibly patient person.
    delta784
    Life is so unfair since 14 months and i don't think its real i just turned 30. I was harmed by a clueless doctor now she lives her life and i am having panic attacks nearly everyday. I am in pain, i am on the verge of giving up i have no emotions since 14 months. Never laughed truly. I don't think its possible to live this way. We came to this life once and i fucked up unreal.
    delta784
    Is tinnitus common?
    2049v
    Very mild ones yes, severe ones no
    delta784
    i was very mild for 7 years stable before iv prednisone and i know how shitty severe was. thats why i used prednisone to prevent worsening. after my mild sound trauma im idiot and dumb
    2049v
    @delta784, sorry what was the cause for your initial tinnitus incident?
    delta784
    Can someone tell me the reason why am i living like a cockroach instead of being happy all the time? And what's the point of living like this if the end is already known?
    View previous comments…
    E
    @delta784 If everyday has to be fought in survival mode, then so be it. How 'well' do you generally sleep, brother ?
    Kam75
    Most people I see on Tinnitus Talk are older, so at least they have a reason to live (a wife/husband, and children). I'm 34 and have been living like an hermit since 7 years because of tinnitus :( No wife, no children, and I fear I'll never meet a wife because I have to live locked in my room. I just have my parents who are saddened to see him suffering everyday. The lack of sleep is also killing me. So I feel you dela784.
    tobyharrixon
    I've only had T for 1.5 years but am 29 so yeah also young. Quite a few people on the reddit tinnitus are young too. But yea wish I had got further/more stable in life before this hit.
    delta784
    I went to mall for dinner with my girlfriend and her sisters which was around marina it was atleast a good day this saturday (thanks to 0.5 clonazepam of course) almost 0 pain i wasn't aware of my tinnitus most of the day since i was outside.
    delta784
    Is there any long term medication i can take for my panic attacks and anxiety im scared i might harm myself (jumping out from my window etc.) i am fairly suicidal can anyone help me please?
    View previous comments…
    delta784
    i need to take it everyday because i am having panic attacks every single day. @kingsfan
    delta784
    @tobyharrixon the things you mention they do not help me im severe case
    tobyharrixon
    im sorry. i just worry about any meds making it worse, as you know. i have taken meds and regret it. i wish i had just combined all the natural remedies to create as strong effect as possible because that is better than potential med damage.

    i guess maybe try gabapentin as suggested above? all meds carry a risk that's all i'm saying.
    delta784
    When i yawn i hear metallic sound in my right ear what is it ? i have since 10 months
    ECP
    I get that too. I always assumed it was a manifestation of somatic tinnitus. The sound I hear is also accompanied by a fluttering sensation in both ears, so I think that's the tensor tympani trembling.
    delta784
    starting a clomipramine who gives a fuck after this point. first i need to taper my clonazepam my psych already agreed to give me clomipramine. and i bet i know it will fuck my tinnitus and visual snow even more since i am the unluckiest piece of shit in the entire planet
    delta784
    Soon planning my end i don't want to exist anymore. Sorry fam
    View previous comments…
    S
    First off, it's a lot harder than you think, second, if you really are going to do it, make sure you know exactly what you're doing or you might just end up making things a whole lot worse for your self... medically assisted is always the route one should take if going that way.

    I thought you're starting Clomipramine anyway, don't you want to give that a chance first? There's no backsies.
    tobyharrixon
    i feel you but easier said than done really. no way is easy and not always guaranteed
    Joshua Macleod
    Thinking about you Delta. Hope the clomipramine gives you some respite.
    delta784
    I am starting clomipramine soon i dont care. I need something for my pain.
    lusiol
    It seems to have an effect on quite a few people with hyperacusis, though again not everyone. You'll have to see if you tolerate the molecule well, since its most interesting effects appear mainly at the maximum dose of 200–250 mg. I hope it works for you.
    delta784
    I want to get better. I will have to get better for my family, for my brother and for my girlfriend. I am a good human being and i know it. I have a pure heart. I never harmed anyone else besides myself. I have to be better. I have to heal. Even if not physhically but mentally. This shit gotta hardened me i want to live i want to be a good person again. Make people laugh again even if i stay depressed my whole life. I want to make my mom happy.
    delta784
    how long do i have to endure this? susan shore device looks shit anyway and i live in turkey
    mandyc
    I;m in a crisis now. I took the antibiotics and am really really not well at all. I'm only on my second dose and the tinnitus is through the roof. I feel feverish and shaky. I just don't feel right if you know what I mean. I'll have to stop but I'm scared strep infection will get worse. Dont know what to do. Its a holiday weekend so I'm at a loss of who to phone or what to do.

    My throat feels worse than what it was before I started.
    delta784
    Im idiot i read horror stories in here and used iv prednisone because of stupid people all around the forums i should sit down in silence and shut the fuck up
    tobyharrixon
    i haven't taken pred, but have been very close to after reading people's comments on here. don't blame yourself - some people to get improvement from it. just seems unpredictable as to who
    mandyc
    omg it just doesn't seem like it's getting better for some of us. I'm so sorry you have it so bad. I too am very bad. I can't believe how loud tinnitus is. My hyperacusis is worse. Thankfully I got over my ocd and I think you can too but it was difficult. I was stuck at home for years with ocd, now I'm stuck at home with tinnitus. I'd rather have the ocd than this. Now I've got to take antibiotics which I know will make me worse and I too feel very suicidal. I'm not sure I'll make it to the end of this month. Just taking it one day at a time. Feeling your pain and hoping one day we'll all see light at the end of the tunnel x
    delta784
    I am just 30 one day at a time till i die? what the fuck
    delta784
    ananın amına koyayım pelin koçdor
    Kam75
    Is she the doctor who prescribed you the intravenous drug that gave you tinnitus?
    delta784
    yes not only tinnitus visual snow syndrome and pain h
    delta784
    im so tired mentally im tired of crying everyday its been how many days since 26 september 2024?
    delta784
    Im not gonna make it i puke from stress every morning
    S
    I'm so sorry, Delta. This is the worst experience of my life and you seem to have it so much worse. I can't imagine what you're going through.

    Are you working? How are you managing it? My biggest fear is that I'm going to end up losing my job because I can't focus or get as much done as I would have when I was well. I've considered medical leave, but asking for a single day off leads to a massive negotiation with my boss. I can't imagine she would take a request for medical leave well.
    delta784
    1 minute ago
    First Anniversary
    You've been registered here for 1 year, congratulations!

    F*** off i dont want it
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