Tryn2BHopeful

Tryn2BHopeful

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  • Tryn2BHopeful
    T will be the death of me.
    cjbhab
    me too. :( we must continue to fight and hope.
    BrOKeN_1
    The old me died 5 years ago. Now I just exist in this purgatory with brief moments of distraction from the living nightmare that is Tinnitus.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Somedays not sure how much longer I can keep going. What choice do I have but to keep going.
    Yosemite
    I'm also dealing with a worsening at the moment, so I know how you're feeling.

    You have to keep going, because you could still see some improvement. Remember how you felt when you first got T? You thought it would never get better, but it did.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Yesterday seemed good in comparison to most days... but back to the normal... who knows maybe there is hope.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Of course I write this and this week has been terrible... ugh. How much longer can I do this?!
    Tryn2BHopeful
    It sucks realizing that no matter how much I want this to be done... it never will be. Tinnitus doesn't take a vacation, and it doesn't care about yours.
    cjbhab
    I still hold out hope even after 9 years, miracles happen.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Hope is all we got I suppose.
    4Grace
    @cjbhab - 9 years. God bless you. I'm noise trauma after noise trauma at my home with child. Food kills me. Everything. Man … I'm really scared today.
    4Grace
    @Tryn2BHopeful - hey old friend. Miss talking to you. I'm exposing more and more at the cost of louder T. No concerts and stuff but the bare minimum to live. I feel like I need to learn to live with it no matter how loud. I just can't get over people that have it and still go to concerts. I am doing better with it but it's always a step ahead of me getting worse.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I understand. Glad you are doing better with it. I feel defeated today. I don't recognize the person I the mirror. Disheveled and sad looking. My life reached it's peak 2 years ago and now it's in a downward spiral. I was doing well and I guess i wasn't deserving.
    4Grace
    You are not alone. You are deserving. Honestly, I'm not doing better. I go bike riding to distract and each ride makes it louder. Can't work or be around family .. can't even be around my daughter. I have not been able to speak due to pain for over a year.
    4Grace
    It's interesting that i was so happy and I too came to the conclusion that I was undeserving. I am in church 3 times a day praying. Food impacts mine almost more then additional sound. Every breath is hard. This am it's louder then ever. My left ear feels like there is a spike in it. We are so deserving. Happy Father's Day.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Got exposed to 90-100db for several minutes before I could get my earplugs in at a work event in a "Barn"... Praying no damage was done... but I never really know for 2-4 days until after exposure if something happened for some reason.
    W
    More than likely not a problem. It's simply not loud enough and long enough to cause lasting damage.
    Eric N
    You survived a molar grind down I really wouldn't worry about anything else at this point :p
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Need to get a crown on one of my top molars... any recommendations? Should I be worried? NAC?
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Eric N Also don't confuse courage with necessity.... No way I would of done that if I didn't have to, however between T, pain, and every other problem I just wanted one less.
    Eric N
    Did you consider extraction? They told me they'd have to drill and split the tooth, so I figured I might as well try to save it. The first part of the root canal shouldn't be too bad—they'll open the tooth with a laser. It's the crown prep that worries me, but that's in a later appointment, so I'll have time to think.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I thought about it, but where the tooth was and the process for extraction... it didnt seem like a great option either.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Missing another one of my kids school events. Breaks my heart.
    MindOverMatter
    Don't be so hard on yourself @Tryn2BHopeful It doesn't help. I've missed out on a lot of my kids happenings, but they understand why. I've come to peace with it. I can support them with other things/in other ways.
    W
    Do you have musician's earplugs? I wear them to weddings and such.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Think I got a new "pure tone" in my left ear... its relatively low atm, I don't hear it all the time and is maskable unlike all the others but is definitely new... ugh... Even avoiding everything and protecting my ears... Trying to not feel doomed. My right ear on the other hand seems to be doing better than it was, but still loud. The "hum" is still very hard to deal with.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    T is very loud today. Trying to deal with it and not break down. Seems like the same pattern every week. M-OK, T-Moderate, W - Severe, T- Moderate, F-OK, Sat -OK, Sun - Severe. OK is not great but livable. Its the humming, hissing, ear sensations... ugh... Sometimes I just don't understand the point of "this".
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I am really trying... but I am not sure I can "recover" from this more than once. I should of been more careful. Water under the bridge as they say. Every time it seems like things are going in a positive direction, T smacks me down again. Life can be cruel. 😢
    Ken219
    Sorry you're going through a rough patch. I'm in the same situation. 35 years of tinnitus with many spikes. As we know time will help us habituate. We did it before and it can be done again! Pray for better treatments or cure! Hang in we're in this together.
    kingsfan
    It's so difficult. It's hard not to ruminate about what we could have done differently.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Interesting thought - Is Anxiety and Stress a possible precursor to T? As our brain undergoes whatever changes that ultimately causes T, do we experience it as a result? There seems to be a link, but I wonder which is the result of the other.
    BrOKeN_1
    Possibly. Although I had my generalized anxiety and depression nearly completely under control before tinnitus onset. Ever since few of those methods work anymore.
    vilebubbles
    I think so. Excitoxicity
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Ear sensitivity... guessing Hyperacusis isn't improving like it did before.. maybe I am not giving it long enough.... Seems like I am in for another 2 year wait and see, after spending the last 2 years getting to a good point. Stupid... and could of been avoided... but.. it seemed safe... Not sure if I can do 2 more years.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I cant go out anymore... I don't do anything. I am scared to go to my kids graduation in a couple of months. Despite some of the positive messages I have received on this site, I just feel like I am spiraling. T is worse then the first time I got it, maybe even catastrophic... I have always tried to avoid labeling it... but IDK. Nothing I do helps, sound is reactivity and silence is humming.
    MindOverMatter
    You need to concentrate on you getting better @Tryn2BHopeful You will be losing out, and you might have to skip graduation day. If it scares you off and stressing you out, you shouldn't attend. It is hard, but its your life. Ive missed out on a lot of stuff myself, for quite some time, but I had to. I had to make space for myself, and not add any stress to my life. As far as possible.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I always considered my T moderate... but I think its severe now...trying to hold a job, raise kids, do everything that one needs to do to live is exhausting wit h T... Nobody seems to notice or care that I am struggling... After almost 2 years you would think I would simply know that. Its the life of someone with T.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Thinking about my future is depressing... Will I make it 1, 2, 5 years? I am still feeling the latest set back more than ever, persistent humming, higher hissing, ear discomfort and sensitivity... Guess I am cooked....
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @adpolandam Almost 2 years for me as well... started after a couple doses of Lexapro... Not sure if that was a the catalyst or what, but it doesn't much matter anymore. My daughter is the only one who seems to empathize with me and offer me some support, otherwise I have been on my own like many people here. Turned away at every ENT/Audiologist again like many people here.
    MindOverMatter
    @Tryn2BHopeful
    Even though you might struggle at the moment, things can shift with time. Ive seen and experienced this so many times myself. Ive had long lasting setbacks that has resolved after 4-6 months ++ several times. You will make it through 🙏
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @MindOverMatter I certainly pray that comes to fruition. I always appreciate your positivity. Especially when I am having trouble seeing it. Trying to stay strong. Hard day today.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Why is T so fricken variable?... one day its ok, the next is pure hell. Ugh... what did we do to deserve this?!
    View previous comments…
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I hear you, and I know your right. However its just hard to feel that way. I was so close to getting over the hump... and I screwed up. I am tired, stressed and I just don't know how to find my way back again. I need to stop blaming myself and move forward, easier said than done. As always I appreciate your comments.
    MindOverMatter
    I know the feeling @Tryn2BHopeful I came out from a long lasting spike recently. It took about 2 months to normalize again. But once I was to take a step back and shift my focus again, I started afirming to myself that I'll be okay. I've been here so many times before, and I've done it before.
    MindOverMatter
    The storm you are in at the moment won't last you forever. You will rise again. Keep your head up mate - you'll get there. One day at a time.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Well it seems that I recovered some, but not back to where I was prior... I never thought I would find myself wishing for my old T back. I always wondered how I would be able to deal with worse... I guess I am finding out... You just do, because there is no choice. Still hoping it improves with time again.
    BrOKeN_1
    "You Just Do".. I couldn't say it better myself. God knows how we can manage to keep it together with tinnitus that makes onset look laughable. I can only attribute this to time served.. hope your day finds you distracted in more pleasurable activities. :)
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Feb 3rd Texas Roadhouse is donating all profits for Dine In and Out orders to the ATA. I told my wife this, and she said... What is the ATA?... I am thinking where have you been the last almost 2 years. :banghead:
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Sadly I knew I would be back here some day. That it would get worse eventually, but I hoped it wouldn't. A simple thing I thought, a middle school orchestra concert, it shouldn't be to bad, and it wasn't until 4 days later. I still don't know if this is a spike or the new normal. Somewhat milder day yesterday, followed a terrible day, with reactivity and my brain just doesn't want to deal with it.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Well a positive if there is one to pull from this... The distortion or sound when I speak has gone away about 95%. T is still more reactive and piercing than before and its been humming in silence like crazy (that is an ongoing off and on thing), hopefully that's temporary as well... only time will tell. Don't get complacent is all I can say, no matter how well you think your doing it take minutes to undo it all.
    4Grace
    Hey - happy holidays to you and your family. Same thing happened to me yesterday. This disorder is insane. I am mostly isolated. Every time I do anything there is a price. Keep well my friend.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Had a good run and was doing well... but this disorder seems to always get you. Ears are sensitive again and new sound in my right ear when I speak. My fault I got complacent. I hope this is just a spike and will improve.
    4Grace
    Is it possible to not get worse? Is it possible to live being carful around noise all the time. Why do some people have T and can go to concerts. The frustration is insane.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Tbh I was doing better. Sound tolerance was much improved with less bad days and more ok ones. Went to my daughter's orchestra concert and it seemed ok until a couple days later. Having back and forth days every since along with distortion to loud and sharp sounds in my right ear. I am sad to be back but support from non sufferers is impossible
    Tryn2BHopeful
    1 year ago today this started. A journey to hell, hope I can make it back. Wishing everyone the best.
    Thizzle
    Have you had any improvements
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Thizzle some... in terms of sounds sensitivity and mental well being. T is still there, still varies, and still drives me crazy sometimes. I wish it were gone or less, but that doesn't seem to be going happen.
    gameover
    I remember when you joined. Not too long after me. Couple fucking pills did you in. WTF...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Still alive. T still sucks most of the time. Hope everyone is doing as well as they can.
    RunningMan
    Good to hear from you. Yes, it sucks and isn't getting any better, nor sleep or anxiety.
    Higo
    How was the break from this site?
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I had a "good" run of days. With some terrible ones like today. I do plan to limit my time here.
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