A High Schooler's Experience with Tinnitus — It's Become Unbearable After Using Headphones to Game

Hi. I’m a 17-year-old high school senior who has dealt with tinnitus for 5 years. For a couple of weeks, I’ve lurked this forum and I would like to tell some of my story, if nothing else but to journal thoughts for myself.

When I was a kid, I experienced what I called “flashbangs”, due to the flashbang sound in Call of Duty (I watched my brother play). It faded in-and-out quickly so it was not concerning. This was my relationship with tinnitus for a decade. It became constant/constantly noticeable in 7th grade. Fairly standard, it took about a month for me to habituate.

For the next three years, I dealt with tinnitus well. It was mild and seldom presented issues. Unfortunately, things got worse over quarantine. When faced with a temporary spike, I would turn up my box fans to sleep. Doing school virtually, I stayed mostly in my room with the fans on increasingly larger volumes. When I eventually did return to school, tinnitus made school hell. Focusing to do work became impossible. One morning I remember sobbing to myself during a standardized test - not because it was difficult, but because the quietude was too much to bear. It was a dark time. This was when I saw an audiologist who estimated my tinnitus to be about 70 decibels - the equivalent of a phone ringing. She also told me my hearing was near perfect.

Also during this time, I applied to an early college program in my state meant for juniors and seniors and was lucky enough to be accepted - this meant for the next two years, I would get to live on a campus and academically speaking, get to be a real college student (with appropriate restrictions). Knowing that I would be paired with a roommate who likely would not tolerate loud fans, I slowly began to successfully acclimate myself to a quieter environment. I had good and bad nights with tinnitus Junior year, but mostly good.

On November 21st, I had a spike after usage of headphones to game online. This happens every time I use headphones regardless of volume. Because I play infrequently and quietly, I saw no reason to fear that a spike would become permanent. Well, this one did (and some). My tinnitus has been unbearable since. Everyday this past month has been a battle, and I am losing badly. Gathering concentration to study for finals was pointless. Two nights ago, my brother’s voice was too loud for me and I had to retreat to my room. Actively doing *anything* is becoming more and more difficult. It’s incredibly frustrating. I feel that there must be a god, and he must hate me. I feel like a complete alien. I feel that I cannot be helped. For days I’ve been asking myself, “What did I do to deserve this?”

My youth is gone and I feel truly alone. Since my parents’ divorce I have had little contact with my dad, and my mom has plenty on her plate, so I don’t bother her often. I have no one to talk to and no one to be helped by. It’s a sick joke. I’ve worked so hard for such a long time, I feel that I’ve lived responsibly. But none of that matters. With any other disease that shows physical symptoms, I might at least gain a little bit of sympathy. Not with tinnitus. I’m withering. Talking to friends feels pointless. I’m not suggesting that I will soon harm myself, or ever will - that’s not something I want to think about. I’ve read plenty on the Susan Shore Device, and the reception to Shore’s findings gives me strength, but that optimism can only carry me so far.

I’m not sure what I’m asking for. Advice? Flowers? Who knows. More than anything, I just appreciate getting to unbottle myself. Thank you. Writing this has helped me. To those of you with severe noxacusis / hyperacusis and tinnitus, you are extremely strong people. I applaud you all.

 

I am really sorry you're experiencing this. I empathize a lot with the feeling of having no one to talk about these problems. This is a good board for advice and not feeling alone.

Considering your reaction to headphones, it's probably best not to use them. I am a music lover as well and not using them has been hard since getting mild tinnitus, but so far it has ensured no worsening of my condition.

I truly hope your condition can improve, don't despair. I've read here that some people had spikes that lasted even months but subsided. I advise you to try to protect yourself from loud noise if you are exposed to it and lay the headphones off for now.

 

Hi @ElliottC.

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time with tinnitus at the moment. Listening to audio at too high a volume without realizing it through headphones, headsets, earbuds, AirPods, noise-cancelling and bone conduction headphones, is often responsible for the onset of tinnitus. Other types of exposure to loud noise can cause tinnitus too. Regularly attending clubs or concerts where music is played loud, or playing a musical instrument in a band.

You have noise-induced tinnitus. This type of tinnitus usually improves with time but for this to happen, there are a few things that I advise you to do. Don't listen to any type of audio through headphones, headsets, earbuds, AirPods, noise-cancelling or bone conduction headphones, even at low volume. When your tinnitus reduces, as I think it will, you might be tempted to use headphones again and keep the volume low. I advise that you don't do this as you risk making the tinnitus worse.

Please click on the links below and read my posts: New to Tinnitus, What to Do, Tinnitus, A Personal View. Print them and take your time and read them without skimming. This way, you will absorb and retrain the information better than reading on your phone or computer screen and you can refer to them often, to help reinforce positive thinking, which I believe is important when habituating to tinnitus and moving on with your life. It takes time but it can be achieved.

Go to my started threads and read the posts in the lists below. Print these also.

• Will My Tinnitus Get Worse?
• Tinnitus and The Negative Mindset
• Acquiring a Positive Mindset
• The Habituation Process
• How to Habituate to Tinnitus
• Hyperacusis, As I See It
• Can I Habituate to Variable Tinnitus
• Is Positivity Important
• From Darkness Into Light

Hope you start to feel better soon,
Michael

New to Tinnitus, What to Do? | Tinnitus Talk Support Forum
Tinnitus, A Personal View | Tinnitus Talk Support Forum

 

Hi @ElliottC - I'm so sorry that you're going through this at such a young age. I work with youth and am always freaked out by how much time they spend with AirPods on at max volume. I fear we've set our youngest generation up for lifelong acoustic consequences.

It doesn't sound like you're in a place of despair, but I would encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional if you begin to spiral. I think most here would agree that the psychological impact is often the most challenging element to overcome.

I wish you well, and hope you experience true healing.

 

Hi @ElliottC, I'm so sorry to hear about your noxacusis. It's horrible you're forced to deal with a condition like this at such a young age. I'm suffering from pain hyperacusis myself and know what it means when noises you've never even noticed before all of a sudden start causing you pain.

What helped me a lot was staying away from noises as much as possible. I pretty much locked myself away for 3/4 of a year and only communicated in writing. This timeout gave my ears the chance to recover. I'm still far from cured but at least my own voice or brushing my teeth doesn't cause me any pain anymore.

That was during COVID-19, so I got away with it.

I would advise you to start paying close attention to your body / your ears. Don't let yourself be pressured into doing something just because it's expected of you and / or everybody else is doing it, too. You're the one who will have to live with the ringing / the pain and since you've been dealing with tinnitus before you already know that there is a huge difference between mild / fleeting and severe tinnitus.

I know something like this is easier said than done, especially when you're young and want to do things. I'm not saying to let your tinnitus stop you from living but keep in mind that, unlike most of your peers, you have an underlying condition and make sure to give yourself a break when your ears demand you to.

I hope you'll recover and get to go back to being a typical 17-year-old!

 

I know how you feel. I'm sorry you're suffering so terribly. Hopefully it improves. I'm hoping the same with mine...

 

Welcome to the forum @ElliottC. You have my empathy on your current suffering with tinnitus and hyperacusis. If there is any comfort I can send your way, hyperacusis from acoustic trauma usually fade over time. So it may not be a permanent situation for many people.

I was one of those with hyperacusis while with tinnitus and I had it twice, each time lasting between 9 months to a year.

So there is hope that yours will fade over time. Just protect your ears from loud sounds for the time being, but try to not over protect from normal ambient sounds of the environment to avoid developing sound sensitivity.

Currently I have a humming loud jet-engine like tinnitus on the left deaf ear and a dentist drill on my right. It was hard at first but over time the body learns to harden to the sounds, especially if you strive to live life as normal as you can. If it helps, check out my success stories "From Darkness to Light..." in which I share some helpful strategies.

Take care. Best wishes. God bless.

 

Stay away from all medications. Even OTC ones. Especially benzodiazepines.

Good luck. Protect your ears like fine China. Protect everywhere, for a long time, where you don't have a controlled sound environment, and you will recover.

 

Hi Elliot. I know how it feels, believe me I do. I have acquired tinnitus and hearing problems about half a year before starting university (only at 20 years old) and I know the cognitive disability that tinnitus causes - it's unreal that the cognitive disability it causes is swept under the rag. I have been in top shape academically before then and ever since i can't concentrate for a single minute, one can't study like this. I wish I had any kind of advice, but my situation is really dire so I have none. I just want you to know that I know your struggle and I wish there was some decent treatment for this debilitating stupid condition, if only hearing problems and tinnitus had the same publicity other diseases have. I wish you well.