A Statement of True Hope

I strongly encourage others who feel despair -- as I did -- to be patient, and, if necessary, see a psychiatrist. I will tell my story to give you hope and, I think, helpful advice.

When I first stupidly hurt my ears on June 28, 2020, I was losing my mind with regret. Like an imbecile, I didn't put on my ear protection as I walked into a shooting range, and another guy shot off three rounds right next to me. I was completely devastated with feelings of stupidity, regret and desperation. I had ear ringing, sensitivity to noise, a feeling of clogging, and a strange feeling of a subtle needle and numbness in my ears. I was in utter disbelief that one mistake could destroy my life. However, people here and on another site encouraged me to be patient, as the healing process can take months. It was hard to believe them -- but as I explain below, they were right.

While it was great that people asked me to be patient, I needed more help. The one thing I did on my own was decide to see a psychiatrist. He prescribed me a small dosage of Lorazepam. Believe it or not, until I took that drug, I was insanely thinking about whether I could turn back time, to avoid the one moment when I hurt my ears. I am a very stable 52 year old, with a family, and yet I was in the shower day after day trying to turn back time, like a madman. Can you imagine this? I was up at night blaming myself and feeling truly desperate. However, the medication allowed me to calm down a few weeks. In the two months that have passed thus far, the clogged feeling is less, the ringing is a little bit less, and the strange numbness and needle feelings are almost gone.

I am hopeful for improvement, but there is something more important: if I had to live with how I feel now, I would feel lucky, and embrace life. I did not feel that way before I got on the medication, and was insanely thinking that I could not live my life. The medication allowed me to overcome my desperation and anxiety over this truly disturbing mistake I made hurting my ears.

In other words, it took two long months to make some progress here, and I think many here will agree that I still need to wait many more months. I am now at the point where I realize that my mistake is just another mistake along my road that I must accept, learn from, and move on. I can honestly tell you that the some dosage of Lorazepam was very instrumental in allowing me to regain my sanity, and to be patient.

One thing I would strongly suggest is to see a number of ear doctors before doing anything. Hearing ear doctors explain the science was helpful.

The people here on this site are wonderful human beings. Reading their words sometimes makes me cry with happiness as their sympathetic nature. There is not enough attention to ear problems in this country. One day, we should organize to have mandatory national education in grammar school. I cannot undo my mistake at the gun range, but every child should understand the seriousness of this, no less than the serious need to wear a seat belt. Our society is seriously missing the chance to save others from making the stupid mistake I made.

For those in despair: Please remember that your life is precious. Destiny has given you this one ride here. Every day is a gift. Think about the many war veterans who still embrace life even after losing limbs. Be strong.

Thank you to all of your for being great, supportive human beings. I will leave for now by strongly encouraging those in true despair (as I was) to please see a psychiatrist and consider getting a very low dose of anti-anxiety medication to help get you through the early months. Those early months are truly disturbing, and help is available. You have this site, and doctors, who know what they are doing. Of course, like any drug, you must be careful and watch out for side effects. But in my case, the Lorazepam allowed me to break away from a totally destructive, useless and insane fixation with trying to go back in time and avoiding the mistake I made.

 

Thank you for your post! It has encouraged me and given me hope.

 

Thank you for your post. I was very encouraged after reading it. I'm at my wits' end and would welcome any help. God bless you.

 

@Tom 2020,

Hello! Can you tell more about ear numbness? What type of ringing you have/had? And how the progress is now.

 

@Tom 2020 thank you for your post. Like others I am struggling with this beast day to day. I am 52, with a family for which they depend on me.

My tinnitus started in January 2020. I am uncertain as to the cause as I had an ear infection at that time but also have been diagnosed with TMJ/TMD which noted can cause tinnitus as well. According to 3 tests via ENT's my hearing is fine for my age. I also took Augmentin at that time but I do not suspect that is my cause.

I am 3 months into TMJ split therapy and may have seen some pain benefits but not for tinnitus. I have also decided to see a therapist and started taking Klonopin for the anxiety. It helps some.

Trying to take it one day at a time but some are harder than others. Trying to be thankful for each day as we are not promised the next. Very often, as everyone knows, it is just very hard.

Thanks,
Ken

 

Thank you for giving me hope.

I am just 18 years old and have hard time thinking I'll need to go with it for the rest of my life.

Also, I find it absolutely ridiculous that no one knows about it. In my case I never had even temporary tinnitus before - just first time and it might be chronic. It should be taught in school.

 

You still taking the Lorazepam?

 

@Tom 2020 Hi!

Thank you for your post! I am actually going thru the same: Wondering what I could have done differently that day to prevent this condition.

I am also having the same symptoms but nothing has improved - I am @ 5 weeks in.

Any updates on your tinnitus?

Thank you.